In the breathless struggle between 11:58PM and sleep
11:58 is losing
Billions of staggering iterations
Buried under one flannel sheet
Trading black for black
Blinking stars for weary memories
An elliptical loop
De-saturated transparent pictures
in unchronological order
Bumping out of balance
Against the back of my head
Tick tick
Tottering
Then continuing uncertainly
I was honest with myself
I was truly, brutally honesty and open
So I got honesty from me in return
Though I hardly thanked myself
I’m not sure it brought our relationship any closer
And I’m not sure closer means stronger
Now I sit with myself
Shifting in uncomfortable silence
I turn on the TV
And I know I’m doing it so we don’t have to talk
And I know it to
And we say nothing
And…
It’s not that we don’t still care
I can’t imagine life without me
I’ll mutter a few clever words
And make us both laugh
Relieved for a moment
Till we sink again
They say that honesty is the answer to everything
At least the simplest answer
I’m sorry to say they’re lying
Understanding is the answer
But not an easy one
Living with the same person for that long
There are things you didn’t take the time to say
And you wonder if there is time left
At night I lay alone
And turn away from me
I pretend not to notice
SensibleUnsensible 