Keeping An Eye Out for the Doctor!
John, two days before his scheduled visit to the proctologist [a doctor specialised in anus, rectum and colon disorder] , accidentally swallowed his glass eye when he was cleaning it. He was worried at first, but after calling his doctor and learning he probably won’t get sick, he ordered another and soon forgot about it.
A Blonde’s Flight to Chicago!
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
Seeing Eye Dog!
A blind man, with a seeing eye dog [ a guide dog, trained to lead a blind person] at his side, walks into his local grocery store. He walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
Slow and Dangerous!
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Work Virus, careful cos it’s spreading!
There is a new virus. The code name is “WORK.” If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else-do not touch WORK under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely.
British Ingenuity
During WW II a British fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad, so the German doctor amputated his left arm. He requested that they drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did.
Innocence prevails
A four year old little boy was at the doctor’s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks “Why is your stomach so big?”
Jokes taken from http://www.funnyandjokes.com/
ELC Gazette 
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