My nightmare

Alahai.

Why are you here?

Of all the people yang nak join that run in singapore, kau pon join jugak?

I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Rupa-rupanya tak. I know you saw me with my children.

Its ok SB. I hope you saw how happy we were.

I hope you saw me hi-five-ing my husband as he arrived at the finish line.

I also hope you saw our picture at USS tu.

And that he uploaded the picture of me and him together at the run.

Semoga Allah memberikan engkau hidayah dan kesedaran.

Drama minggu ini

"So, mc is only until after CNY."

"Oh... ala...tak bestnya. Nanti rindu la.".

"Come on la. Please be more supportive. Ketepikan la rasa rindu semua tu. Now there is something more important yang need to be focused on."

Quiet

"Tak payahla cakap rindu-rindu semua. I need to get back to work."

Quiet

"Bukan murah nak sara all of you."

Quiet

"I need to get back to my life"

"I know. But your family is your life jugak, kan?"

"What are you trying to say?"

emotional independence

Being emotionally independent is important for women. But, to be honest, i think it is not our nature to be emotionally independent. We always need someone to talk to, someone to give our daily updates, to mengadu.

I think, i am very independent in a lot of aspects, but i lack emotional independence. I still feel the need to talk to dr sunshine every day.

But, i think i need to change. I need to try to be emotionally independent. I need me to be a better me. I need to love me.

It is not easy..but after thinking reaallllyyyy hard about this, i think being emotionally dependent only will cause you to feel like you are unloved or not taken care off bila the other person is busy. Jadi, elakkan dari have any type of expectation.

Just be.

Pasti

Oh hati, tolonglah bertenang.
Kadang-kadang rasa macam tersisih. Kadang-kadang rasa macam apa lagi yang tak cukup.
Kadang-kadang rasa macam i am not that desperate
Kadang-kadang rasa, kalau dah macam tu, apa yang istimewa tentang status i?
Kadang-kadang rasa semua tak kena
Kadang-kadang rasa kecewa.
Patah hati.
Putus asa.

Tapi, selalu ingat.

Allah only tests you because Allah knows you can handle it.

And.

With great trials and tribulations there is great reward.

Janji Allah itu pasti.

Alhamdullilah.

going cuckoo

at times, I feel like I am going cuckoo. And no, it is not funny.

You see, I know I choose to win him over.

But, there are times that I will be paranoid and playing games in my own head. I imagine things and etc.

Sometimes, my instinct is sooooo strong but I have no way to be certain that it is true. It sucks.

My head works overtime. My sleep is disturbed. I cannot stop thinking.

I dont know when all this will end.

Tapi I will always remember what a dear friend said: Allah maha adil.

InshaAllah, I will reap what I earn.

I pray that Allah make me the best wife for him.

I also pray that Allah makes him appreciate all that I have done and make him be aware of his priorities. InshaAllah.

Whats with November?

I was reading my old blog and realised, all things berkaitan the Stupid Bitch (SB) happens in November! I found the raya card in November. The phone bills and SMS pon in November. Someone saw them shopping together pon was in November. But all in different years. Waahh....

Anyway, in life, one has to make a choice.

And, I choose to win over my husband.

I berpegang kepada janji Allah. Apa yang isteri buat bersama suami, hatta berpegang tangan pon, dah dikira sebagai sesuatu yang baik dan inshaAllah, dapat pahala. Tetapi, bila seorang lelaki dan perempuan yang bukan muhrim do stuff together like holding hands, then those involved akan collect dosa (and no, I am not implying that they did anything. ni contoh je). Also, I believe, Allah is the best planner. Allah knows that I can face all this. And with all trials and tribulations, inshaAllah, there will be great reward.


I pray that Allah will make me to be the best wife for my husband.

November rain

And, so I saw the bitch at the starting line. With you, standing next to her. Hell, we were in a run together and you didnt even bother to stand next to me.

She turned to look behind her and saw my deathly stare and averted my gaze.

Kenapa?

Kenapa tak sudah-sudah lagi ni?

J019 and J020. Obviously both of you registered together.

You may think I am stupid but I am not. You may think you will never be caught tapi Allah maha besar wahai Norazimimah Abdullah  SB.

Things were about to go back to being normal. And this had to happen.

On one hand, syukur Allah nak tunjuk depan mata.

What to do now?

Sabar.

Nak sabar berapa lama?

Kita tunggu dan lihat.