Lillian's Birth: Labor and Delivery

Contractions started at 1am. I woke thinking, huh, so this is a contraction. Through out the early hours I switched from bed, to couch, to recliner trying to get comfortable. At some point I decided to start timing contractions and they were consistently 6-7 minutes apart.

6am comes and I decide I am not going to work. Even if it is not baby day, I have not slept all night. I call my mom to tell her what is going on, with assurances that I know it could mean nothing. My dad volunteers to come and hang out with me. We spend the morning talking.
Travis comes home for lunch and brings me a baked potato. For breakfast I had half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a few bites of cantaloupe. Hunger just was not top priority right then.

After Travis left, the contractions got harder but the timing became inconsistent. 13 minutes apart, 2 minutes apart, 10 minutes apart, 7 minutes apart. At some point I decided to take a nap, which was pretty pointless, and at that point I stopped timing the contractions because it also seemed pointless. When I got up from the nap I was so upset that nothing was happening. I had called the dr to ask about some of the things going on, and all they had to say was to come in when contractions where 5 minutes apart and getting stronger. I called Travis crying. If this wasn't it, I wanted it to end! I didn't want all this pain, when clearly nothing was progressing. It was about 4pm and he asked if I wanted him to come home. I told him there was no point, because obviously this is all just nothing.

I decided to go read one of my pamphlets about labor and it said if you could start walking and the contraction ended, then it was just Braxton Hicks. Perfect! I would start walking, and they would stop. So I walked in circles around my living room. And I started having contractions. Hard ones. So I started timing. 3 minutes apart. 2 and a half minutes a part. 3 minutes apart. 1 and a half minutes apart. After about 15 minutes of that I called Travis and told him he might want to go ahead and come home. Luckily, he hadn't listened to me and was almost here.

He got home and this had been going on for 45 minutes. He thought we should wait the required hour before we left, but I figured it would be an hour by the time we got there. At this point I had started to have back labor and it was PAINFUL! The car ride there was not a joyous occasion. The car seat was installed so I barely had any room and the back labor was coming in full force, and of course there was traffic.

When we got to the hospital Travis dropped me off and went to go valet the car. I didn't want to go alone, but didn't think I had time to wait either. I went to check in, and the nurses ignored me until they realized I couldn't even talk through getting my name out. I heard one of them say, "Do we have a room clean? We're going to need a room." They could tell there was not going to need to be any triage business. Since there was in fact no clean room, I went to a bed to get checked and I was 6 centimeters dilated. A nurse walking by said, "You're going to have a baby today!" My reaction? "Really??" I still couldn't believe today might be the day.

I got a room and the contractions were getting worse. Travis was wonderful through the whole process. The nurse told him something he could do for my back labor so he would hold me close, hold a hand and rub my back through every contraction.

My plan was to see how far I could go to see if I was going to want an epidural, but I could tell at a 6, that was going to be about the most I could handle. They called for an epidural and it took an hour to get there, so by the time I got it I was telling the nurse and Travis I wasn't sure if I could handle any more. When it was time for the shot I was so afraid it was going to hurt. The nurse had to convince me that if I could make it through the contractions, the epidural was going to be nothing.

Sure enough, I barely felt anything. After the epidural they had to tell me when I was having a contraction. It was wonderful. Then, things began to progress very quickly. I think I went from 7 to a 9 in about 45 minutes. The next time the doctor checked my progress, it was time to push. The pushing was very difficult, but it wasn't painful. It was actually kind of cool once I could feel that I was doing it right, and even better once I could feel her coming out.

The next time the dr came to check on me, I was close enough he decided to stay. Before I knew it he was pulling out the catch the baby gear. Then, in no time I hear the nurse say she is going to need a baby nurse. I still could not believe that today was the day.

They let Travis cut the cord and immediately put her on my chest. What a beautiful feeling. I think I still could not believe she was here. I don't think she could either. Instead of screaming, like I thought she would (and should) be, she was just looking around observing her surroundings. They took her to get weighed and gave her back to me. After a little while they took her out of the room, cleaned her up and let her try and nurse.

After that was all over, they let the grandparents come in a look at our new family. I look back at the pictures and it is so incredible to see how much Travis was beaming. You could just see how madly in love he was already.

Starting a Diet

Starting the SB diet at 34 weeks pregnant =/= a good idear

TC has been unsucessfully trying to lose weight for the last few months and I both got above my pre-pregnancy weight, which I was really hoping wouldn't happen, and caught myself with the attitude of, "I'm pregnant, why not!" which I was determined not to have.

Those things combined with me being freaked out by a couple of my friends and coworkers mentioning they gained 10+ lbs in the last few weeks of their pregnancy, have led Travis to start us on the South Beach Diet.

Terrible idea.

Mamma needs her carbs.

That is all.

Some Irony: Before and After Pictures

Is it irony? I'm a little worried about using the word wrong after seeing this sketch.

After complaining that before and after pictures are deceiving, below are the pictures of the dresser that I redid. I say I redid, but all I had to do was sand and clean the furniture and remove and replace the hardware. I started this project after I was already pregnant and Travis decided after I started I shouldn't paint. My dad primed and painted three coats of a paint color I decided I didn't like and Travis painted two coats of the final color you see below.

I was planning on putting a handle where you see those two empty holes, but it turns out they are too close together for any standard handles that I could find. Travis said he would fill them in and repaint, so until he gets around to it I'm just calling the holes added character.

My dad (who gets some major props for all of his hard work) also tightened the dresser. It used to be so wobbly that you could barely put your hand on it with out feeling like it was going to fall apart, now it is as sturdy as new. It was initially going to go in the baby's closet, but I love it so much we might be using this one until we get around to buying her real furniture.

I'm Mad at the Internet

I'm in love with the before and after shots you see all over the internet. One of the blogs I look at every day is just that, one picture of a before and one picture of an after of random people's home improvement projects.



I love seeing how people turn trash into treasure. The problem with the quick glances at other people's handy work is that it makes it awfully deceiving as to how long those projects actually take. All I see it the magic transformation. It's kind of like watching a cooking show and thinking you too can also make that meal in 30 minutes. Well, yeah, you can, if you already have everything pre measured, you can chop like a rock star, and you don't have to spend 20 minutes digging through your drawers looking for a tool that can substitute for what the professionals use.

Even the blogs that come with instructions are deceiving because they have four or five snapshots of their work with instructions and at they always end with the ubiquitous, "wah lah!" Easy as that. What they don't tell you is that there is no instant gratification refurbish project.

When refurbing a chair, specifically, no one tells you that removing the old fabric involves two hours of pulling old rusty staples out. Or, when adding the new fabric, if you are using a thirty year old staple gun you borrowed from your parents, it is going to take you ten times as long than if you just stop being so cheap and pony up the $30 it is going to take you to get a new one and get the job done right (lesson learned)


So, it only makes sense that I forgot to take before pictures of these chairs. Let me tell you, they were bad. My roommate and I got them from beside a dumpster when we were in grad school six years ago. They sat on my patio for three years after I got a real dining room set. The wood was so weather worn there was no stain left. The fabric was a yellow/green vinyl that had tears and paint all over it because I used them when working on a painting project.

I think they presented an extra challenge from other refurbishers' jobs because they they have curved backs, and those curved backs are exposed on the back so there is no hiding and extra bunched up fabric.

I wanted to use some bright, cheerful, funky fabric because these are going in the bedroom, so why not do something crazy, right? Well, as you see I ended up with the plain old neutrals that plague the rest of my house. I still love LOVE the way they turned out

30 weeks

So here I am at 30 weeks

A Preview of What's To Come in the Nursery

And by that I mean, this is the only thing we have done so far so I'm
taking a picture and posting it

Some Other Recipes I Have Tried Lately

I've tried some decent recipes lately so I thought I would share...

We made a mexican meal for Father's Day and here are the recipes that we used:

We made these enchiladas from Homesick Texan, they were delicious! The sauce tasted very similar to what you would get at Chuys, which I love.

picture from Homesick Texan

We also made this salsa from Pioneer Woman. I thought it was a great salsa, but best of all it was really easy to make. My brother thought it tasted like Don Pablos's salsa, so you can use that to decide if it is a style you would like :)

picture from the Pioneer Woman

I used this recipe to make homemade tortillas, the comments are not mine, they came with the recipe. For anyone wanting to try making homemade tortillas I would say that they are easy, but they are time consuming. I used a rolling pin to roll out each one and I like mine thin, so it seemed to take forever. I think for the next time I am going to invest in a tortilla press because I looked it up and they only cost about $20. While it may seem like a unitasker, I watched the tortilla espisode of Good Eats right after I made these and Alton Brown bought one, so I can too!

2 cups flour (I usually use AP, though I've thrown in some white wheat in a pinch)

1/2-teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 cup butter (let it warm up a bit towards room temp sometimes... sometimes I don't)

3/4 cup warm water

• Mix flour, salt, baking power and butter

• Crumble together until coarse

• Add 3/4 cup warm water, mix until sticky, remove sticky clumps, add more water to bowl if needed, repeat until all dough is sticky and combined into a big mound. (play around with water amounts... it'll depend on a lot of factors how much you need)

• Kneed sticky dough in hands or in mixer for 2 minutes, until smooth and elastic (I forgot this step last night... no big whoop)

• Break dough up into 8-10 golf ball sized balls

• Dampen cloth with warm water and let cloth sit on dough for 20 minutes

• Pre-heat flat pan to medium-high

• Flatten dough into discs, roll flat, place on heat, cook 8 seconds then flip, then cook 1-1 1/2 minutes until bubbles form, flip and press edges, move to tortilla warmer.

For the sides, we made rice by cooking brown rice with salsa, and we made a pot of beans by following these quick soak directions then throwing a bunch of seasoning in the pot and simmering the beans until they were done (about 3 hours),

For dessert I made TC's grandma's strudel recipe, brought here straight from Czech. I can't share that recipe though, so you'll just have to come over to try it :) I can share however that I am really impressed with myself on how well it came out on the first try and that it tasted really yummy

Not So Nestle Nesquik

As I said in my last post, I have been having a glass of chocolate milk every morning. I had been using this syrup because it didn't have any HFCS.




After we got about halfway through the bottle, Travis mentioned making our own chocolate syrup and as soon as we ran out I was up to the challenge. I made this Alton Brown recipe. It was SO easy. TOO easy. They didn't have Dutch Process Cocoa at the Walmarts (shocking!) so I followed a reviewers advice to add a tablespoon of butter when adding the cocoa. Chemically it doesn't make any sense to me, but it worked just fine and tastes incredible! Another reviewer says it tastes like chocolate pudding, and they were right!

I put mine in the leftover Nestle bottle, but if you don't have one lying around you can get one of these bad boys at Walmart for $.99, definitely worth the investment to have homemade chocolate syrup on the ready.



The only thing is, with the originally recipe you are not supposed to keep it in the fridge but since I added butter I feel like it should be kept cold. This makes the syrup a little thicker than it normally would be and a little more difficult to make my morning treat.

Pregnancy: 28 Weeks

I'll be honest, I am still in shock I have made it this far. Every time I talk about the baby I have to preface it with, "Well, since I'm just starting to realize this baby this might actually happen..." I have been in a bit of denial so much so that we have not done a thing to get ready, except prenatal appointments. I have friends who are not as far along as I am who are, "putting the final touches on the nursery" and we haven't even decided what we are going to do with the nursery yet. I did finally take some steps to start cleaning out the room, but it is still a total mess. I do, however, feel such a sense of relief that I have made it to the third trimester. Knowing that if something were to happen, chances are very good she could survive have made this so much more real. I know that there are still things that could go wrong, but I feel like our chances are so much better now and it has been a nice sense of comfort for me.

I haven't been sick lately! At about 23 weeks I stopped feeling nauseous all the time, but still had to be very careful about my eating, and about 24 weeks was the last time I actually got sick. It has been so nice!

When the nausea left, the aches and pains started. They are so much better than being sick, so I can't complain but man, it makes me feel like an old lady. At first it was growing pains so I had cramping at the top and bottom of where the uterus is. Now it is hip pain. If someone wants to tell me how to relieve or prevent this dang hip pain I would be eternally grateful. Stretching relieves the pain and feel so good, for about 5 minutes, then it returns. Again, the pain is so much more tolerable that I will definitely take this over worrying about puking all day.

Also right around the time I stopped getting sick, I started feeling the baby move. That has to be the coolest feeling ever. At first it kind of feels like little bubbles popping, and now as she is growing and running out of room it feels more like little jabs and kicks. I don't see her move from the outside very often, but every once in a while I will see my belly moving around and it is really freaky.

I've also just in the last month started to have revelations about the fact that pretty soon there is going to be a baby that cries, and needs to be fed and diapers changed and TC and I are going to be completely responsible for all of that. No getting tired of it and handing her back to someone. No knowing that we get to give her back in a couple of hours when the real parents return. It is all on us.

It is also strange knowing that there is this little girl that is going to exist. She is going to need help with her homework, she is going to need to learn to drive, she is going to go off to college, she is going to need help planning a wedding. That girl is inside of my being right now. There is a human being growing inside of me. How weird is that?

Within the last couple of weeks I have finally started to look pregnant and not just like I was eating more than normal. I still ask TC if I look pregnant or fat, and while his answer should be both, the answer is now always, "definitely pregnant." Because I started off so big, I am not supposed to gain much weight at all, and so far I have been on track with that. I lost 10 pounds in the beginning, and since then have gained somewhere between 6-8 of that back. Unfortunately, that has all been in the last month and no matter how much you are prepared to accept it, it is still shocking and disappointing. Due to the quick weight gain, I have started to exercise more, in the way of water aerobics (which is totally dorky but awesome) and walking which is hard and TC basically has to make me do it but it has been very good for me. I've also told myself every day that I will absolutely stop eating sweets today but that is yet to happen.

Another thing people always ask, cravings and aversions. I don't feel like I have any real cravings. There was an episode where I HAD to have some apple chips. I went to five different stores to find them. In the end, after I finally had some, I didn't really like them and threw them away, so I don't think that counts. I do really like to have a glass of chocolate milk every morning, which is new for me but I'm not sure that that counts as a craving.

The aversions list is much longer. Chicken, which is funny because I was able to eat it at first but it made my stomach upset, that turned into not eating it, which turned into the the thought of it making me sick, which turned into not being able to even touch it. Also on the list: garlic, onions, peppers, fake sugar and I also try to avoid things that are going to hurt my heart burn like caffeine, spicy foods and tomatoes.

I guess that is enough random information for now. I can't think of any other non-important updates. I will leave you will a couple of belly bump pictures. The first one is from 27 weeks and I would ask that you please excuse the dirty mirror. That is my brother's bathroom so you can blame the nastiness on him. The second one is from today (28 weeks) and I thinks shows how quickly things change. I also took the liberty of cleaning his mirror for him this time so the picture wouldn't be quite so disgusting.

My First Baby Shower

I've never hosted a baby shower before and I will be the first to admit I am terrible at hosting things. I planned a shower for my coworker and being as how it was a work shower it was pretty low key, but more than just cake and a present.

I am pretty proud of the decoration that I did come up with because I used things that could be used later by the mom.

This is the one thing I actually came up with on my own, everything else was stolen from the internet. I wrapped diapers and wipes in purple wrapping paper then used scrapbook paper to spell BABY. It was supposed to look like building blocks, but it turns out that soft packs of plastic wrapped cloth are hard to wrap straight.

I also had a baby onesie garland, which I used pretty colored onesies as opposed to the boring white ones you usually see. Also, if you look really close on the right side of the food table there are little roses made from baby towels. I don't think a single person in the room noticed those, which is part of the reason I have to post this on my blog. I'm a middle child and I need to be noticed.

Look what I found in our garden this morning

Another Post About Pregnancy: The Good Stuff So Far

So I realized my last post was a little woe is me. I guess I was in need of a good place to vent. So maybe I can turn that around a little bit by posting about some of the good stuff that has happened so far.

1) Telling people. It was so exciting for me to tell people that we were pregnant. It seemed like it was a long time coming. Most people I told were excited for us, but seemed to reserved, as I am sure they were worried about getting our hopes up. I did, however, get a couple of good responses.

The best reactions I got were from my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin in Florida. We were at a family Christmas party and I had just told everyone my news. Towards the end of the party, we decided to skype with our FL family members, to let them be a part of the party. After a slight delay from the internet connection all three of them threw their arms into the air and gave the biggest "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH" that I got. It was so sweet.

The other good one was my sister in law in Boston. I was able to keep it secret from them and tell them in person because I had a trip planned to visit them. I arrived on New Years Eve, just after midnight, so she might, just might have had a little champagne by that point. She came to the door when I arrived and offered me a glass. I told her I couldn't. She insisted. I gave her a sly smile and told her, "No, I really can't" After considering this for a second, she also threw both hands in the air then immediately hugged me so hard I thought she was going to try and lift me off the ground, which would be no easy task mind you. She immediately walked me around to all of the friends they had at her party and introduced me then told them my news. She was so excited that she told a whole room full of strangers to me. It was really cute and so flattering.

2) Putting on my first pair of maternity pants. This was something I did not get to experience the first time. I had a good friend give me a whole box full of maternity clothes and a couple of other large baby items before I found out I was pregnant. I put them in our extra room, closed the door, and hoped that this would never become a point of sadness. Well, it never had to. I started wearing the maternity shirts way before I needed to, just because they were long and comfy and new. The pants she gave me weren't going to fit so I bought some last weekend. I still don't need them, all of my other pants fit, I could just tell it was about to be time and I'd wanted to have at least one pair on hand so I didn't get caught without any pants that fit.

After I put them on it was the biggest relief. Even though my other pants still fit, they press against my abdomen and this is uncomfortable. I also came to realize that they push right where the nausea is, and that is not good. Now I wonder why it took me so long to convert. I still wear my old pants, but I am so looking forward to when this isn't an option any more.

3) Finding out, and telling people the sex of our baby. Almost as good as telling people we are pregnant. I have thought our baby was a girl from the time I found out I was pregnant. Most of the time, instead of calling the baby an it I would call her a she. I knew this was going to make for a messed up baby if it was a boy, but that is how convinced I was it was going to be a girl. I would even go so far as telling people, "When I find out this baby is a girl, I am going buy...(insert adorable girly item here."

I think another cool thing about finding out the sex of the baby, is just knowing that I am at this point. I seriously did not think I would make it this far. It is so hard for me to fathom that yes, I am pregnant. I am in fact so truly pregnant that we actually know the sex and any minute now I will be able to feel her inside of me. I am really looking forward to what lies ahead for me and misstc :)

Pregnancy: Part 2, the first 18 weeks

After coming off my high of finding out and being able to tell people that I was pregnant I experienced a whole new feeling. Morning sickness, the biggest misnomer known to man. I was so sick. All day, every day for weeks upon weeks.

Part of my sickness I attributed to the progesterone that I had to take until the end of my trimester, for a total of eight weeks. I was wrong, after the end of my first tri, the end of the medicine, I was still so sick. I couldn't keep anything down before breakfast, and was lucky to keep food down after lunch. I spent every evening and every weekend for three weeks lying on the couch, trying to keep food down. It was miserable. I would never ever wish that upon anyone. It was so bad that even though I had told half of my family and friends that I was pregnant, I stopped telling people. I'm pretty sure that ended up making some people upset but I couldn't tell people I was pregnant any more. When you tell someone this kind of news, especially after waiting for it, they expect that you will be elated, joyous, so happy for the chance to be a mother. The probably was, I wasn't happy. I felt extremely blessed to be pregnant, and I thanked God every day that I got to have another day with my child, but I was so miserable that my response was always something not far from cynical.

While I laid in bed at night, I would pray and ask God to hold me in hand and keep the nausea away long enough for me to fall asleep. I would ask our Blessed Mother to pray for me. She had been here before and knows the woes of pregnancy. I would ask for her to please please put her mantel of protection around me, just so I could rest. At times, I felt like my grandfather who passed away 27 years ago when I was two years old, was standing there beside my bed, holding my hand so that I could be at ease enough to sleep. For this time, I am extremely thankful. At was so sick during the day, but somehow I still managed to sleep well at night, even though it always seemed impossible.

At my six week appointment I asked my doctor for some medicine to help and he told me he would give it to me if I had to have it, but I could tell he would prefer if I didn't take it. After I threw up on myself while driving on the way home from work one day, I immediately called my doctor and asked them to call in the prescription. I got it that same night. After that first pill I titled my medication, Zofran: the miracle drug. The first day I took it I felt like I new person. I had energy, I didn't feel sick at all. I actually ate three meals. The next day, however, the medicine didn't seem to work as well. I didn't throw up but I still felt nauseous, and that has pretty much described the rest of my pregnancy. I have good days here and there and I have really bad days about once a week or so. I would say over all though, I feel so lucky not have other complications that I'll take the nausea. It has become that I am either used to it, or it is manageable now.

I do still have days like yesterday. I had not slept in two days, and I think that sleep deprivation aggravated my sickness. I get so hungry that I am nauseous and so nauseous that I don't feel like I can eat anything. After two days of this I broke down yesterday morning and cried. Cried for 15 minutes because this wasn't fair. Why couldn't I be one of the people who felt so much better after 12, 13, 15, 16 weeks? Why couldn't I have a day off. Of course today, I am back to normal: nauseous but able to eat and manageable. Back to being thankful for the good days.

Pregnancy: Part 1, finding out

I have been wanting to blog about how I found out that I was pregnant for a long time now. 18 weeks to be exact. When my daughter is pregnant, I want her to be able to know how she came to be, what I went through during pregnancy and birth, and what my experiences were. I ask my mom questions about how hot were the summers really? Were you really sick? And her response is always, "It wasn't that bad." I know this is her answer because she is an angel. The most precious women you will ever meet. Even if she was in the hospital being terrorized by my fetus she would still say, "It wasn't that bad." Although, that could be attributed to what I pray is true, that after you give birth you forget all of the pains of pregnancy and delivery. Oh, how I hope that is true.

The details are already starting to get fuzzy so I figured it is finally time. I'm not sure why I put it off for so long. Even though I don't really believe in the sort of thing, I think all along I have been so afraid that writing about the pregnancy would curse it in some way. I did not have any problem telling people I was pregnant, because I knew this pregnancy was meant to be and anything that happened was also a part of a greater plan. For some reason though, writing it down was different. More permanent maybe?

TC and I tried to get pregnant for a year and a half, with a pregnancy and miscarriage in there. Trying to get pregnant after the miscarriage proved to be harder than I thought. It became especially hard over last summer when the people who got pregnant after I did started having their babies. My estimated due date came and that was very difficult for me. I'm not sure why, but I was an emotional wreck the week leading up to that day. I think it was a lot of, "what should have been" thinking that really got me down. Then, the people who got pregnant around the same time I did who also miscarried had already gotten pregnant again and started having their babies, and I got even more sad. Every month with no positive result was a huge disappointment. It didn't help any that my periods were getting further and further apart, so every month I would get my hopes up. I would think that I had missed my period, I would buy no less than 5 home pregnancy tests, and the results were always the same. Not my time.

In August, I saw my general practitioner who also does my well woman visits and she told me just what I didn't want to hear. We hadn't tried long enough, I was still young, and to give it more time. TC and I had made the decision that if we weren't pregnant by the end of the year we would see the OB to find out if something was wrong, and if we needed to take more drastic measures.

In October, I went on a spiritual retreat that was very moving. I felt like this was a huge refresher that I needed in my life. I was going down a slippery slope of sadness and resentment that I did not want to be a part of my life and this renewal gave me just the reminder that I needed. That there is a plan, and that everything happens for a reason.

In November, we bought our first house. It was a stressful but very exciting time. I had so many people tell me that now I was going to get pregnant, because now I had somewhere for the baby. I heard this so often, in fact, that I considered slapping the next person who said this to me. If the house was all we needed then why didn't I get pregnant when we closed? The month we moved in? I needed people to stop telling me now was my time because it wasn't.

So, come December I made the appointment we said we would make. I did not want to go. I did not want to find out that something was wrong with me. Sure enough, after blood tests and exams I found out that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) that can cause a lot of the symptoms I had been having. The doctor told me I was probably not going to get pregnant on my own.

Ever since my retreat, TC and I had been praying the rosary almost daily and in general praying much more with each other. I was going to mass two or three times a week, and at least once a week would sit in Adoration, a place in the Catholic church you can get some quiet prayer time in front of Christ. I always loved this time, as anyone would love an hour spent by themselves in quiet thought and meditation. Some time during my retreat I learned that one of the witness's mother had asked St Ann for a daughter, and a daughter they got. I learned that St Ann was Mary's mother (I know, it is probably sad that I didn't know that) and was one of the patron saints of conceiving. Every time TC and I would pray together, I would ask St Ann to pray for us. Nothing else. I wasn't asking to be pregnant, I wasn't asking for anything, just, "Please, pray for us."

One day, about a week after the doctor had given me my options for what to do about my infertility, I was sitting in Adoration with TC. Typically when I pray it is prayers of thanksgiving and supplication. This time, for the first time ever I told God, "I'm listening, if there is anything you need to tell me." I heard, as clear as day, "You're pregnant." I know it seems like at that time pregnancy would be on my mind all the time, as it is when you are trying to get pregnant, but I had just had my period so it really wasn't on my mind at all. It wasn't time for it to be on my mind yet. My first thought was, obviously I just made that up in my head. God doesn't say those kinds of things to people. Then I sat there in quiet again, "You're pregnant." Clear as anything that is clear.

I told TC about it when we left, explaining to him that I know how crazy this sounds, and I know it sounds like something I would just make up to hear in my head, but it was not something I was thinking about at all.

It took me about a week to build up the courage to test. I was so afraid that I was crazy and getting negative results would just prove that. The first test I took had a line on it, but it was so faint it was only like you could tell there should be a line there. The second test I took had pretty much the same result, the third was the same but just barely a little darker. The fourth test: two lines, two distinct lines. No doubt, no question, I was pregnant.

Travis and I had already exchanged Christmas presents at this point but I ran into the bedroom, jumped into bed and told him I had another present to give him. He was going to be a daddy. Unlike the first time when I found I was pregnant, when his response was "Oh Crap! What have we done," he got the biggest smile across his face and gave me a huge tackle hug. It had finally happened.

I immediately called the doctor and got blood work taken to confirm and make sure everything was okay. I cancelled my appointment to get my infertility medicine, and scheduled my first prenatal appointment. After doing some checking on the internet, I found out that when I tested I was barely pregnant, only three weeks. That means that when I heard that I was pregnant I was just in the process of having an embryo implanted. Technically, according to my cycle, none of this should have been possible. It was too early in the cycle. But nothing is impossible with God. We have a little miracle baby growing to prove it.

VPL

I had to explain to Travis what VPL is earlier this week. This
morning he says to me, "I'm not sure if you care but you have major
vpl babe"

No I don't care because
1) my butt is such a way (large) that I will always have vpl and
2) I have no problem with people knowing I am not going commando today

Edit: On an completely unrelated sidenote (well it might be related to my big bottom), someone in my church group last night said, "I can't remember if I ate lunch today." This has NEVER happened to me. Never. There have been times, very very rare times, that I am so busy I just skip right over lunch. Or days like today, also very very rare, that what I brought for lunch does not sound good at all so I just don't eat anything until about 2:30 when I finally cave and eat a snack like some popcorn. I can honestly said I have never forgotten whether or not I skipped a meal.

It Snowed!

and I'm a little behind. Well I have a big behind, but you know what I am saying.

As all of you who do not live under a rock already know, it snowed on Christmas Eve for the first time in 80 years this Christmas. It would have been perfect if it didn't take us an hour and a half to get home from my parents house while watching tons of people have their Christmases ruined because they were in a wreck the night before.

That being said, I had to take pictures! The first couple are from the fresh snow, the next couple are from Christmas morning, and the last few are artsyish type pictures I was trying to get but of course they just look silly. I felt the need to share that. I am thinking I might photoshop them and use them for Christmas cards next year.

This is our tree in the backyard (along with our dead garden). I thought it looked so beautiful back there.