Monday, September 10, 2018

Well, This Was Pointless But Really What Isn't?

September 2018

Seems like the second the clock ticked over from August to September, the leaves here started to turn orange and the temperature dropped five degrees. And we got the first rain in three months. Crazeh mother nature, crazeh!

Everyone likes the fall though, am I right? I am right. It's the best of all the seasons, really, no matter how much you try to tell yourself it should be summer. It's not as touristy and full on as summer, and not as brutal an asshole as winter. I mean you can rock the sandals and still throw on a cosy sweater in the evening. It's the best of both worlds. It also makes me want to start cooking shepherd's pies, and cobblers, and weird, creamy soups featuring butternut squash and all the Indian spices there are, because autumn means comfort and nourishment and horror movies - which don't seem to fit with either of those things but oh well.

It also means time to hit up Bath & Body Works for candles that make everything stink up the place real nice. I get it, candles are a lady thing you gentlemen will never get, but man, who doesn't like to spend $12.50 on some smelly ambience that lasts a good week or more?

Most of all, Fall to me is the time I head to Walmart and buy slippers. I get a new pair every year and love them, even though within a month they've flattened out and make me walk funny, and have no spring to them, and I hate them. I know I should just fork out some real moolah and get a good, strong, expensive pair, lovingly sewn by Inuit craftsmen in Nunuvut out of like...bears, that I can wear forever, but I never do. Partly because I don't buy shit made from bears and partly because meh, I just like to get sucked in annually by the fuzzy, pink or leopard print, polyester, crappy Walmart ones that look like a big, fluffy hug, even though IT IS ALL A LIE.

In other news, I'm getting a haircut this week, anyone care to guess what kind of disaster that will be?

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Lots of Random Brain Farts

August 30th, 2018

Today I got a passive aggressive email from the Google informing me my subscription to comment notifications had expired, posing two questions; 1) there's a subscription for that? and 2) I subscribed to it? Anyway, investigation showed that I had in fact received numerous comments from you lovely people, not been notified about any of them, and they were partying it up in my moderation folder, totally oblivious. Situation has now been rectified, thank you and sorry and all that...

Summer's cooling down here now, so you can wear a sweatshirt again without expiring and it feels like Fall is in the air, which means two things to me; Halloween and horror movies. And having to wear shoes again. Okay, three things.

This summer has been fairly uneventful, except for visiting the Oregon Coast, where I ate local creamery cheese stuffed with cranberries (nom!) and drank Mead (because that's a genuine thing that exists in 2018 and not just in King Arthur's court back in the day).

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Yeah we drank it out of huge tumblers because we were in a hotel and that's all there was, don't you judge. Also, bonus: IT WAS GOOD.

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You have no idea how much sand I found in the cuff of my jeans...

What else did this summer bring? Oh yes, I bruised my leg so badly one day on the rough corner of my bed, that I let out a shriek that could probably be heard in Seattle. Like, you know those weird, loud, atmospheric noises that have scientists around the world baffled? They're probably some other clumsy asshole hitting their leg on a sharp bed corner. But yay, a summer without an injury? Like that could be a thing.

Other than that it's the same old, same old. But I have leftovers from a delicious butternut squash veggie garlic noodle thing I made for dinner last night, so all is right with the world, currently.

Till the next cruise ship arrives anyway.




Oregon - The Coastal state that isn't Washington or California

August 2018

A few weeks ago, on a giant whim of inspiration and spontaneity, we took a trip to the Oregon Coast. I've passed through Oregon numerous times on the way to other, more vacationy states, or on the way back to Washington, however, I had never actually made it all the way across to the coast. Generally, when in Oregon, I'm swearing at drivers on the I5 around Portland where they seem to like to host a special traffic jam whenever I'm anywhere near.

Unsurprisingly, the coast was beautiful. And windy. But mostly beautiful. Morning fog rolling in over the ocean, like something out of a Stephen King novel, gorgeous vistas and rocky, ocean landscapes laid out before you like...well...ocean landscapes, basically. So pretty.

Wanna see a few pictures? Tough titty, mister or missus, I'm doing it. These aren't in any order of any sort (hello, this is me!) just some of my faves. Just a tiny, poignant selection for your perusal.

Our first stop was in Bandon, Oregon, south of Coos Bay, where we marvelled at the stunning views and took a drive down the Gold Coast towards California. I might be wrong here, however, I think the Oregon portion of the Pacific Coast Highway, might be even more stunning than the Californian part. High lookouts, rocky shorelines, beautiful beaches.

See?

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Bandon Beach

Not too shabby, eh? Seemed like everywhere you went in Bandon you got a view like this.

We also saw the wonderfully named Cape Foulweather and Cape Perpetua. I think this photo is of the latter, but don't quote me on it.

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Some horses on the beach in Seaside, OR

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So many secluded coves

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Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach for Goonies fans


Naturally, this is a tiny selection of the pretty, but I'm losing the will to live and the other million photos are similar oceany shots. I mean I don't want to bore people to death. Not today.

A real blog entry is coming later. This one's been in my drafts for three weeks. C'est la vie!

Monday, May 21, 2018

Is Life Treating YOU right?

May 2018

The other day, while sitting at my desk doing worky things, my little Google Home smartpod, with no prompting whatsoever, yells, "SOUNDS LIKE LIFE IS TREATING YOU RIGHT!" making me jump like a lunatic.

I don't know what information it collated to come to that startling conclusion, and it wasn't inaccurate, just somewhat random. Also it scared the living crap out of me and I'm still laughing about it today. Calm down, guy! His exuberance was terrifying.

Other than this, things have been uneventful. Not to say it's been dismal or anything, just nothing weird or noteworthy has occurred lately. Summer is here pretty much, and the sun is shining and I can wear sandals and t-shirts again all the time which I approve of.

Hope you're all keeping on keeping on?

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

When Your Loaf Revolts

April 10th, 2018

Some days your creative juices just won't squeeze. Usually, it's not an issue, but when you're working in a creative field this can be problematic, so you spend your time jogging your available resources for inspiration, anything to jump start that spark. Surfing through Pinterest, Deviant Art, Etsy...just one thing to make you exclaim, "Oh I know what I'll do!"

Sometimes it pans out. Yesterday it didn't. I couldn't come up with a viable idea to save my life, my brain whirred and stirred like maybe it was cooking up some fragment of an idea, before sputtering out into nothing like a battery on the blink.

I've learned, through experience, you can't force these things, so instead of sitting frustrated at my lack of vision, I did some admin stuff I'd been putting off, then I climbed out of my attic office mid-afternoon, headed to the kitchen, and baked me a big cashew and lentil loaf.

I love my nut loaves. I know they have this image of being hippy veggie food and people enjoy scoffing at them as the food of weak little vegetarians who could use a big, fucking steak, but usually those are people who've never tasted a good one, because they are truly one of the tastiest things ever.

I will procrastinate making one for weeks - this one was no exception - because they're time consuming and have so many stages, but the final result is exceptional. You can either slice them up and serve with multiple veggies or salad or potatoes (I usually make one for Thanksgiving and Christmas for myself and they go great with cranberry sauce) or you can do what I'm doing this time, and slice it thinner and use cold, as a filling for sandwiches. They make the best sandwiches.

So it ended up being a somewhat productive day after all, in that it fed my belly with something nutritious and super tasty, and today? Well I might get something creative done after all.

Bottoms up!

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Sunday, April 1st, 2018

Happy Easter Fools day, people!

As I'm a fool and I enjoy chocolate, this is the day made for me. Not being a religious type, Easter in my mind is synonymous with eggs. Of the chocolate variety. I have nothing else to say about it, it is what it is. If there's a tradition involving chocolate, I'm down for it.

It's spring here, and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom which is nice, because my town is full of them and it's like driving through corridors of pink and white. And today it's really windy, so it looks like it's raining pink and sunny at the same time. Excellent. It's like a salve for the senses, or something else poetic like that.

This was just a brief check in, I'll leave you with a photo from last night of a soothing ocean partial sunset. I love the clouds reflected in the shallow pools.

Toodaloo!

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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

SoCal Loco

MARCH 20, 2018

A couple of weeks ago, on a last minute "do or die" type of decision, we decided to take a trip to California to visit some lovely people we know. After an exhaustive 21 hour drive, over a couple of days, we arrived in lovely, sunny Palm Springs, where the roads are calm, the trees are palm, and the air is balm(y). It's not really, it's quite dry being the desert and all.

But you try rhyming three 'alms' buddy.

It was a wonderful few days of enjoying some sunshine, seeing some desert crazy, and having leisurely coffee sessions that lasted all morning, while the palm trees waved most soothingly in the breeze and I got to let my pale, pasty white feet out for the first time this year.

What did you see, Veg? you probably didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you regardless. In photos. Because this is me and that's the way the Veg do.

Ready? Sorry if you saw these on Instagram already.

One of the things I did was a day trip to Joshua Tree National park, that I loved last time I was in the area and was dying to see some more little spiky not-quite-cacti-not-quite-trees again, Mojave style. It's impossible to take a hideous photo at Joshua Tree I think. I dare you to try.

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See? Impossible.

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I could go on but I won't bore you

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Just kidding. 

Would it be me without a road pic? It would not.

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Anyway, I amused myself wandering around trails like the one above, happily enjoying just being in the desert again. Does wonders for the mind. And my mind needs wonders.

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OMG how did I take this picture!

As well as Joshua Tree, I spent a day out at the Salton Sea. People told me to expect it to smell nasty, but it wasn't that bad. I mean it had a whiff about it, but I think I was lucky with the wind that day... 

It was pretty, look!

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The highlight of my trip though, was Salvation Mountain. Some hippy gentleman, who really loves Jesus, made Salvation Mountain out of desert and paint and adobe and turned it into a big old colour assault on the senses. I loved it! I mean I'm the least religious person on Earth probably, if there was a scale for these things, but it was just so cool to see. Like living inside the Beatles "Yellow Submarine" only....you know...with Jesus. 

Look!

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Let me get closer!

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This place was MENTAL. In a good way. Mostly.

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Really? NEVER? Need I mention Donald Trump?

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Old trucks all painted up with religious stuff

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No idea what "epent" is either. :)

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That truck looks like it might have been around the same time Jesus was.

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So much colour. And stuff. Awesome.

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It took him years to build

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Follow the yellow brick road

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He incorporated branches, mud, straw, and paint

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And glass panels

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Love is all you need

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People donate paint to the project for touch ups. They made features out of the cans

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Crazy huh?

If you're ever out in that area, go see it, it's amazing. Near Mecca, 30 miles or so north of Calexico. 

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You DON'T have a boot tree? You DON'T eat souls?

Anyhoo...


What else did I do? Oh yes, I saw some dude's home where he has made a giant display of WTF in his yard. It's called Robolights and looks fantastic although it was closed the day I went so I just wandered around the block taking pics over his fence. Heh. Look!

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Oh hai! Just a guy with a girlgun for an arm. (c)dogimo

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This guy (or 'guys' as I think maybe a bunch of artists contribute to it) makes things out of junk. Giant robots in particular. Those were my favourite! Look at them!

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This guy was my favourite. Look at his feet!

Wow this is getting long. Suffice to say, I did a lot of stuff, and lazed around a lot drinking coffee and coke and having a generally great time. I won't bore you further with those pics! Because you know I took thousands.

I'll end with a nice view of Mount Shasta in Northern Cali, in the side view mirror as is traditional on road trips. The mirror shot I mean not Mount Shasta, I mean it can't be everywhere.

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We also passed through the self professed State of Jefferson which...if you don't know about it, google it because I'm too lazy to tell you about it. I took a pic.
At 70mph on the Interstate. 

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There's more to the "state" than a barn, I believe.

And that's about it! I've run out of steam. I'll end with this pretty pic of a rainbow seen on the way out of Palm Springs, early morning.

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You're welcome!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Feeling the Pressure

February 14, 2018

This morning, in an uncharacteristic fit of wanting to accomplish things, I started my day at the local gas station, trying to inflate my tires (or "tyres" if you're British), which is just everyone's favourite task ever, am I right? (snort) My tires were looking sad AF and I'd been procrastinating doing it for ages, because oh my god, so boring.

I realized I hadn't put air in the things since 2015. Did I hear a collective gasp of horror? Last time I inflated the tires I proceeded to drive 2,000 KM over prairies and mountains on them, and I've been driving on them ever since. The tires I mean, not the mountains.

Anyway, I'd just got this funky new pressure gauge with a digital light up screen and everything, better than the old pencil gauge I used to have that you couldn't even read the markings on so you had to pretty much just fervently hope that you didn't make anything over-inflate, explode, and blow your head off. Surely that kind of thing happens every day! Dramatic? Me?

To make matters worse, a gale was blowing my hair all around my head like temperamental hairy flames, while all that bending over was making my jeans sag and giving me an attractive builders butt crack. And of course, the air compressor quit as I was on the last tire. THE LAST TIRE. I'm pretty sure it's programmed to do this. You bastards. I wasn't coughing up another buck for one tire either so I gave it the invisible middle finger and hoped I'd gotten enough air in there before it stopped.

After this feat of endurance, I got some groceries to make a peach cobbler, procured a cup of coffee and drove down to the waterfront to drink it before driving home to commence workage. It was kind of half stormy, half nice out, look! Sorry about the angle, I was dangling precariously over the sea wall looking at all that driftwood.

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Now I never once claimed this entry was interesting. So you can just shut up.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Star Trek Aliens, Wine, And Rockets

February 8, 2018

Social media keeps insisting I should be sending cute videos and photo collages to everyone I know for "Friends' Day" which...come on. That's not a real thing! That's just a "Why not use our service more to let your friends know you're thinking of them, otherwise you're a uncaring, insubstantial, failure of a human being" type of ploy. It's a lame Facebook thing. I don't play that game, FB, you suck.

Besides, every day is friends' day, fuckers.

I hate when the internet tries to tell you how to live. Or suggest people I might want to add to my Instagram feed. By actually adding them into my Instagram feed with a giant, blue follow button next to them. If I wanted to see goddamn Kardashians on my Instagram, they'd be there, already, and I'd have undergone a lobotomy. Good lord. Stop it and get off of my feed.

Besides, I'd rather add Cardassians. True. Hi Gul Dukat!

I'm cranky. And 90. And not nearly caffeinated enough to deal with this madness.

Who else watched the SpaceX launch of its Falcon Heavy rockets the other day? I watched it live, as it ignited a volatile bunch of highly versatile explosives under a fake dude and a real car, launching them up into space, to orbit the Sun and possibly Mars and whatever else, for millennia. It was mesmerizing. I love space things, and found the whole thing thrilling and emotional and amazing.

And then a bit creepy, because seeing an astronaut in a sports car, floating in open space while the Earth, the size of a basketball hung behind him, was just....spooky. Awesome, but spooky. Hope you're enjoying the views from the asteroid belt, Starman, wherever you are now, you creepy bastard.

What else? I have been out of wine for days. Weeks even. I have had one bottle of wine this year so far, and quite frankly I'm underwhelmed by the experience of not having a lovely fruity glass of something awaiting in the evening a couple of days a week. Especially since I read a thing the other day on the webz (and we all know everything you see online is true, right?) that suggested that women (not dudes, just ladies) who drink 2 glasses of wine a night, saw huge health benefits overall. It also helped weight loss. For real. 2 glasses of wine (not 1 and not 3 however) turned your bad fat into better fat and made it easier to burn off. I admit I skimmed but hey, if drinking wine makes your thinner, think of all the pizza I can now eat that I didn't dare before? See! ("Um...I'm not sure it works that way" - Everyone else)

Oh yeah. Happy Friends' Day. Whenever that is/was.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Happy New Year. Or is it?

Is there some reason I have the theme song for "Cheers" inside my head 1,440 minutes a day? Because there's a reason people become serial killers.

Well, winter is in full swing here, with some grey, rainy doom making me want to work in my fuzzy pajamas and drink coffee all day long. You might argue that is me most days, but you'd be only partially right, I WEAR REAL PANTS THANK YOU. Oops, yelling.

Then the next day arrives, where the sun shines and everything is beautiful and you get all smug and gloaty, before the following day when it decides to be all  rain again to teach your smug self a lesson.

But it's 2018 finally, and while we might not yet have our flying cars and no poverty and free food and wine, it does at least mean that 2017 is a distant, blurry nightmare, fading in the rear view mirror. That has to be a good thing, right? Can we just pretend it didn't happen?

While we're (vaguely) on the subject though, flying cars are a terrible idea. I mean how would you even police that?

In the worst segue ever to exist, we have a Phillips Hue bulb in our office here, so I can make it orange, or pink, or any other color I feel like, and it honestly, really helps make the place feel cosy and lovely against all the grey outside. Also I can do that thing where you make the light bright red and dim so the outside world thinks you're living in a brothel. I mean who doesn't want that?

Other than this, January is all about sitting around filling the time with semi-interesting things to make February arrive faster. And February is, at least, short. So there's that. Then it's spring and real life can commence again.

In case it's cold, snowy, rainy, or grey in whatever shithole country you are in [(c) Trump 2018], please enjoy this photo from yesterday, when it was gorgeous here and not the depressing mess it is today.

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You are most welcome.


Here's the What What

So. People have nudged me about my total ineptness at updating this thing and they are correct. It's just, I don't have a life reall...

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