-i'm back from my vacation.

and before i continue; first of all i would like to say a big thank you to arto for inviting to stay over at his place. and not to mention the great hospitality provided.. everything was just awesome; the bed, food etc etc. i couldn't ask for more in fact. so thanks again mate.. you're the best.

secondly, to the peeps who came for the chalet; thank you so much for coming. it was really awesome. loads of pictures were taken, laughters were shared etc etc. although there was a little bit of argy bargy i'm glad nothing really "big" happened.


this past few days has sort of given me an idea of what it would be like if i were to live by myself; as in stay with frens(?).. slightly surprising was the fact that i didn't really miss home. is that good or bad?.. (laughs) i mean for quite some time i've been thinking about moving out; i'm not sure when but it won't be anytime soon.. possibly after school and NS.
but is it wrong?.. would i be running away from my resposibilties?.. =/ but i've been really keen to do so. we'll see how it goes then..

hey iLi,

i just wanna say:
thanks for today. i mean i had a really great time- all the laughs and funny hand-movement thing and all that pinching and slapping etc etc.. after such a long time.. and obviously i've noticed a change in you (positive of course). anyway i hope you have a safe and enjoyable trip to thailand (esp during the 7 hour bus ride) and i'm sure you'll come back home in one piece.. (laughs) i mean with *ehem ehem* i'm sure you'll be alright. lol have fun okay, take care.

you're freaking me-ow!!

(laughs) !!!

i miss jamming.
i miss performing.
i miss the times where i can just sing my heart slash lungs out.

and it beats me (real hard) that i'm not making any effort.
for now its just like all talk no action kind of thing..
maybe i'm just waiting something to happen.. an inspiration maybe?.. something that would spark this whole thing; spur me onto something... i dunno..

sigh..

on another note; i got back my results. and i have to say i'm relieved that i got through all the modules -yet again- without repeating them.. though the grades and gpa are like freaking low i'm still... should i say content?

so looks like i'm entering the 6-day-vacation-like "marathon" with a clear mind.. something that i had hoped for..

and with that, i shall end here.....

take care everyone,
muchlove

amid everything that is happening right now; the rising tension the piling pressure or whatever you call it; all i really need is some hardcore or metal gig where i can just beat the hell out of someone in the moshpit mosh my heart out to release my frustration..

arto offered me to overnight at his place next friday.. up until monday then go straight to the chalet before heading back home on wednesday. six days out..

i wonder what my backpack luggage is gonna look like.. its like going for some fucking vacation.
but it sounds awesome though and i'm gonna do it.

and i'm hoping my results ,which will be out next wednesday, won't dampen my spirits for the following days..

yeah.. wish me the best ayte ppl..

Let go;
a. to release one's grasp or hold
b. to free; release.
c. to cease to employ; dismiss
d. to become unrestrained; abandon inhibitions
e. to dismiss; forget; discard

*courtesy of dictionary.com


from the wise words of Mr. Anthony Green,

"What are some things in your lives that you think you could benefit from letting go of ?"


for me its..
-self doubt
-fear of changes, of something new in my life
-negativy

how bout you?..



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

clearly,
theres a pressing need that something has to be done. pronto.

sigh..


faezah, i really need to talk to you........

when was the last you had to let go of something so precious?..

well for me.. it was a minute ago..



and believe me when i say its really special.

and can you believe that, when two mistakes combine, it actually created something special.

yess.. but shit happens..

i found something nice on the net.
go on read it..


It is undeniable that we live within a vicious cycle.
Individuals walk around with heavy burdens that they wish not to discuss.
They see themselves as nothing, not worthy to be noticed.
They walk with their music blaring, avoiding contact with any individual.
Not one has the common decency to fucking smile or give a glance to the individual next to them. Rightfully so, why should we?
The only thing that the world has shown us is that we truly are alone.
Outside the prisons that we call home we judge others.
We rehearse what we are going to say.
We don’t give a fuck for what an individual might want to share.
We do so because all we know is pain. Thus, is life.

Yet, is this right?
Why do we accept such a meaningless spiral?
Although I cannot speak for everyone I can only give you insight on what I know.
WE CONDEMN OTHERS BECAUSE WE CONDEMN OURSELVES.
We must not subject ourselves to repeated patterns of judgment, but rather acts of forgiveness. One must realize that we are the source of peace and destruction.

Take a look around. Take heart in what you see and what you know.
Smile to the individual next to you.
It could be the only thing holding me from the grips of insanity…

-antonio

so i haven't been updating as regularly as i thought i would..
oh well who cares right.



i think this past week has been good.
ended my exams this wk and got my pay as well..

so its gd.. everything's gd..

except that i'm still struggling to slp at night.. but i think i found company.. haha.

so .. i'm looking forward to the following weeks; chalet and all which i bet is gonna be interesting..

for the mean time, stay real ayte ppl.