In light of my current everyday life situation, I would like to perform a public service to all individuals. Maybe you have never been pregnant, maybe you are a dude, maybe you've been pregnant before and have forgotten what it is like, or maybe you are able to hold your tongue appropriately, but just in case...I'd like to provide a crash course on what NOT to say to a pregnant lady. Sit back and enjoy : )
Comment 1: "Woah, you're 'bout to pop!" aka "You're about to go!!!"
What I hear: 'Well, I look like a big stay puff marshmallow man today. I must be terribly ugly and uncomfortable looking, and possibly unusually large."
Commentary: Is this ever, ever appropriate? Say I was a big lady....you know, the ones you see at the ice cream store that you know good and well do not need that ice cream cone with snickers crushed up in it? Would you EVER under any circumstances walk up to her and tell her she's too fat for her ice cream and take it away? Uh, no, you wouldn't. This statement is the equivalent of that action.
Comment 2: "You got twins in there?" or "You sure there's not another one hiding in there?" or "Are you sure there's only one baby?"
What I hear: "You're abnormally large and your doctor is stupid for thinking there's only one kid".
Commentary: Again...rude. If I had twins, I'd be proud and I'd tell you. I really have contemplated telling people that I am going to be the second octo-mom...just to see what rude statement could follow. Shock me.
Comment 3: "You've got 'til September? You're not gonna make it 'til September. No way."
What I hear: "You are going to have a pre-term delivery"
Commentary: I am a L&D nurse, people. Preterm labor and delivery is not a joke. I'm a jokester, but we do not joke about that. Ever. At the end of the comment, I have got my mind all kind of twisted and see myself crying in the NICU beside a stabilette praying that my child doesn't end up with a brain bleed, retinal problems, necrotizing enterocolitis, or death. Get it. Not funny. Serious. It ALMOST makes me want to carry to 42 weeks. Almost. ;)
Comment 4: *various whoops and hollers when I enter a room*
What I hear: "Let's whoop for the big lady"
Commentary: Why yes....this happened today as I walked into a restaurant. It was followed up by comment number one and comment number three. Are you feeling me??? Also thrown in was a "oh, you're 'bout ready ain't ya?". Seriously?? Have you ever whooped and hollered when a woman entered a room?? It ain't like I am the Alabama Crimson Tide returning on the flight home from winning the National Championship. Nothing to hoot about. Hoot about the life that God placed in my womb....not the chick carrying it.
Comment 5: (man speaking to his wife as I pass) "....all these pregnant kids..."
What I hear: "He thinks I'm Juno!"
Commentary: I must admit that I giggled a little to myself as I walked away. He thought I was a Lifetime Movie! Part of me enjoyed it...mainly because I'm MUCH closer to advanced maternal age than teen-age. Though it would've been rude had I really been Juno, I kinda wanted to high five the elderly dude.
Comment 6: "You must be having a girl....cause damn, those hips"
What I hear: "I'm fat."
Commentary: This was a true statement. It was during my last pregnancy. As I sauntered through the beauty shop, a patron made this charming remark to me. Of course, as we see, she was correct, so maybe the statement was true? Whatever. Again though, would we EVER remark on a woman's hip girth to her face as she walked to the basin to have her hair rinsed? Seriously? Of course not....so, why is a pregnant woman's hip girth any different??
Comment 7: "You better not get too far away from the hospital"
What I hear: "I must look like I'm laboring or about to drop it like it's hot"
Commentary: Is it that bad??? Dang!!! I'm just tootling around town....living my life. I actually feel pretty good. These people think I'm about to squat down and birth an 8 pounder at their feet.
Comment 8: "Wow. You're gonna need something to hold your belly up"
What I hear: "Your belly is about to drag the ground and it's gross"
Commentary: Don't women's bodies do this all the time? You can't tell me that I'm the biggest pregnant person that ever existed. If there's one thing that I've learned from being a nurse - the human body is an amazing thing - it withstands a whole, whole lot. My back may hurt in a couple of months, but you better believe I'm gonna sway it back and carry that belly proud as long as I can :)
Why yes....these are all statements that I have heard. Most of them repetitively. Day in and day out. My friend Katie took a 10 minute walk with me downstairs at work last week and she heard enough to make her be over it for me. I do enjoy being pregnant. I feel all womanly and whatnot, and just over all blessed. I do think it's sad that people shout out mean comments, so just as an aside, think about it before you make a statement to a pregnant person - how about a nice high five to Jesus for granting life, or maybe a "you look nice today". There are a couple of sweet people at my work and at church that comment that I "glow" or that I look "beautiful" and it's definitely not that I'm begging for a compliment, but it is a nice contrast to the crushing blows to the ego everwhere else. Guess there are some people left in the world that think the most womanly state in a chick's life is still gorgeous in its own way :) Thanks for reading. Now, I'm going to eat something sweet. Kidding. Sort of.
This ends my public service announcement!
6.08.2012
A Star is Born
So much going on....so much to talk about...but, for today, I'm gonna break proud mommy and talk about Recital Day for our little love. I had been getting the feeling that my little love was over dance and wouldn't do it again next season. What made me think this? Well...quite possibly the couple of meltdowns and "I'm sleepys" and the point blank statement of "I want to take Karate and not dance anymore". So, I don't wanna be one of those Mommies that makes her kid do something just because I want to live vicariously through her...so, I'm like "whatever".
Friday was Rehearsal Day - which was a finely oiled machine, I might add, but I dressed W up in full outfit and full hair and traipsed her down to practice. She knew she was cute in her outfit and was pumped up. The full level of pumped-ness came when she saw the disco ball, the changing color lights, and the stage. She said, "am I gonna get up there??". Not knowing if this was about to lead to full blown freak out mode, or a good thing, I hesitantly said, "yeah". She lit up like the disco ball and said "Yay!". She got up there and danced like never before. It was really cool to watch her and how comfortable she was on the stage! And...I did what any normal pregnant and proud Mom would do....I cried!!! When I picked her up in the after dance room - she was rarin' to go again and asking when she could get on stage again. Ha ha! We watched some other bigger kids dance for a bit & she kept talking about when SHE was up there and the lights and the disco ball.
Saturday was the big day - she was dolled up again - this time including blush and a tiny sweep of shimmery eyeshadow. She was the center of attention amongst our extended family for sure! This was her day....and she knew it!!! She kept being bouncy and proud of herself. She waited patiently for her turn to dance - she asked several times - "when will it be my turn?". When it was her turn, she was so excited that when her back was turned to the audience, I saw her do a little clap of excitement before she danced. She danced her very best, she sang, she smiled, she was wonderful. Every tiny step was so special to me - I had seen the dance a trillion times as I took her every single Tuesday and sat in the wings waiting on her finish practice. I felt it. The unmistakable pride of a parent. What did I do? Of course...I cried! Ha. My own parents were there to see her dance and I had to give them a "thank you"....for all of the times they watched me cheer, tumble, sing, dance. I can only hope that they felt the same sense of pride.
The biggest pride came when we went to retrieve our Broadway Banana and she got a big bouquet of roses from her Daddy...and from her Poppy and Lovie....the look on her face when she saw how proud we were and how all of her grandparents had come to see HER dance on HER special day with HER curly hair and HER tutu and HER blush - and, of course, a late lunch at HER favorite place. She danced all night after she got home - she felt like a million bucks. She went to bed with a big smile on her face - and so did her Mommy.
As we were leaving....she said that she wanted to dance again next year. I said, "well, that means no karate - is that okay?" She said yes and I asked her if she wanted me to sign her up now. The answer was a resounding yes.....so, we are gonna do it all again next year - and we all couldn't be any more excited!!!!
Friday was Rehearsal Day - which was a finely oiled machine, I might add, but I dressed W up in full outfit and full hair and traipsed her down to practice. She knew she was cute in her outfit and was pumped up. The full level of pumped-ness came when she saw the disco ball, the changing color lights, and the stage. She said, "am I gonna get up there??". Not knowing if this was about to lead to full blown freak out mode, or a good thing, I hesitantly said, "yeah". She lit up like the disco ball and said "Yay!". She got up there and danced like never before. It was really cool to watch her and how comfortable she was on the stage! And...I did what any normal pregnant and proud Mom would do....I cried!!! When I picked her up in the after dance room - she was rarin' to go again and asking when she could get on stage again. Ha ha! We watched some other bigger kids dance for a bit & she kept talking about when SHE was up there and the lights and the disco ball.
Saturday was the big day - she was dolled up again - this time including blush and a tiny sweep of shimmery eyeshadow. She was the center of attention amongst our extended family for sure! This was her day....and she knew it!!! She kept being bouncy and proud of herself. She waited patiently for her turn to dance - she asked several times - "when will it be my turn?". When it was her turn, she was so excited that when her back was turned to the audience, I saw her do a little clap of excitement before she danced. She danced her very best, she sang, she smiled, she was wonderful. Every tiny step was so special to me - I had seen the dance a trillion times as I took her every single Tuesday and sat in the wings waiting on her finish practice. I felt it. The unmistakable pride of a parent. What did I do? Of course...I cried! Ha. My own parents were there to see her dance and I had to give them a "thank you"....for all of the times they watched me cheer, tumble, sing, dance. I can only hope that they felt the same sense of pride.
The biggest pride came when we went to retrieve our Broadway Banana and she got a big bouquet of roses from her Daddy...and from her Poppy and Lovie....the look on her face when she saw how proud we were and how all of her grandparents had come to see HER dance on HER special day with HER curly hair and HER tutu and HER blush - and, of course, a late lunch at HER favorite place. She danced all night after she got home - she felt like a million bucks. She went to bed with a big smile on her face - and so did her Mommy.
As we were leaving....she said that she wanted to dance again next year. I said, "well, that means no karate - is that okay?" She said yes and I asked her if she wanted me to sign her up now. The answer was a resounding yes.....so, we are gonna do it all again next year - and we all couldn't be any more excited!!!!
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