I know this blog lately has mainly been about playing catch up with The American Dream Trip Series, and I realize that I havent been posting much about recent happenings. I am taken aback about how speedy life has been. I mean, just a year ago around this time, I had taken a very big decision to move back home and now, here I am. One year later. Where did that time go? What have I been doing? 

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining. I made it a personal mission about a three years ago that I was going to be someone who constantly looks for the silver lining behind every cloud and trust in the works of The Almighty. The ideology that got me through the worst of days. But I must admit, in the last year, that hasn't been a very easy thing to do. As days go by, I feel more lost because everything I had hoped for and planned was not working. I have tried my best to keep my head high and power through, but there are days, days like today when I just feel really depleted and tired. I WANT TO STOP BEING TIRED.

One thing that blows my mind when I think about where I am is that I have never felt more alone in my life. And this is me coming off living on my own in a small sea-side town in the South of England. I say this with no disrespect at all towards the loving and supportive family and friends around me currently but circumstances have made this a very difficult feeling to overcome. There are days that I can't sleep at night and can't get up in the morning because I was just so so so in my head about everything. 

Its no one's fault but my own as I let myself get so stuck in these fears. Scared of how I am not a version of what I pictured myself to be at this moment, doubting my ability to make even the smallest decision, afraid of making future plans, disappointing everyone and also a very genuine fear of missing out on life. All these things play a constant loop in my mind.

by the way, I just want you to know that I will get through this and I know that hardship is temporary, so don't y'all be worrying too much. It's hard to let go and step back and trust, but that the beauty about religion. I know that there'll ALWAYS be someone I can talk to and depend on. 

P xx

Cliff jumps & Dancing in the desert! - SUMMER '15

One year later, but never too late! 
The American Dream Trip video is finally up! Credits though to my baby sister who had to sift through a whole load of footage to get it down to about 4 minutes. There are bits of when they did some travelling with my parents and a close friend, when I hadn't arrived yet. I don't think I'll ever get bored of watching and reliving our trip because it meant so much to me and all the fun I had with my sisters! 
Enjoy! 

The American Dream Trip - The Midwest.

We made it to Chicago, people! 

After such a hectic travel itinerary in the West Coast, (there was definitely too much to see and we made so little time to see it all) our next flight took us to the Midwest. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I reunited with my baby sister here along with two of her friends from Uni. They had just returned from their summer break and there was a mess up with their temporary accommodation which meant they were bunking in with us and we would be making our way to Ann Arbor, Michigan with them a little later on - so much more fun eh. Every cloud has a silver lining! 

Chicago was a gem! It had all the makings of a small metropolitan with its tall skyscrapers and bustling sidewalks but with the added chillness factor! There was just something about Chicago that won me over and I wouldnt mind at all if I had to live here! 

Enjoy the pictures..

Cant get enough of my sister's face in this one. We were all really hungry and the deep dish pizza that came with its gorgeous melting cheese.... I'm salivating as I'm typing...

After spending about two full days in Chicago, we were set to take these kids hoMe to Ann Arbor, Michigan. We didnt really notice the 4-hour journey due to some very creative car games that the kids introduced. By the time we reached the small town of Ann Arbor, Michigan the sun was out... and so were the frat boys and sorority girls! The frat and sorority houses that lined the university avenue and the atmosphere of the small university town were so surreal, it felt like I had stepped into a classic American college movie! 

One the things I found to admire about when I was there was the significant University Pride and Spirit that everyone had. The University of Michigan's slogan is: Go Blue! and their nickname, The Michigan Wolverines. You just couldnt help but feel so united when strangers literally call it out whenever they see a fellow Wolverine. Kinda felt a little FOMO not having studied in the States to be honest! 

My sister gets the ultimate treat of living next to a Frat House! Yeay. Lol

And as a treat for us helping out with moving, my sister took us for some hearty Halal Beef Ribs in Dearborn, Michigan. Dearborn was about a 30minute drive from Ann Arbor and is known for its large middle eastern muslim community. Official verdict: DELICIOUS! 

It was a bit of a bummer that I didn't get to spend more time in Ann Arbor with my sister as we had to be on our way. But I left with so much pride. I got to see the cosy, small town my sister was residing in, her quaint university campus, and also meet some of her friends. The short stopover really made me appreciate how much my baby sister has flourished into such a fine young lady, able to take care of her own affairs and so mature - although, she did still need the manpower of Afiz and I to help with moving the heavy boxes! Lol. I'm definitely coming back baby! 

Mad love, 
Peja x

A little catch up on life lately...

Hi!

In the midst of my writing spur (reliving my favorite American Dream Trip), I thought I'd take a break to update the blog on last couple of months or so! Not that I have been particularly busy, but mostly because I had been very lazy in finding time to properly sit down and go through the thought process of writing a post. Some photos to share...

These are a few (random) favorites of my last memories back in England. For those of you who aren't aware, I have moved back to Malaysia (for now) since October of last year and I have been trying to settle myself back into a routine. Its proven very challenging, sometimes more than I anticipated. Especially when things aren't really going in my favour in the career department at the moment. 

But there are the positives to really appreciate about being home. I got to see two of my best friends get their happily ever afters. They were so adorable, I nearly puked. Lol. Some of these pictures were stolen from the official photographer cause the were too beautiful to not include. Its funny to think that we have been friends for this long through all the drama and all the distance. I am truly grateful for Hannah and Hafiq since our days back in boarding school. They have always been there for me and I certainly hope to be the kind of friend in return that they are to me. I can't wait to watch this chapter unfold for both of them. Love you both.

The beautiful pictures are from the talented photographer Omaroza and he did a splendid job capturing the essence and fun of the night.  

Being back for good also means a lot of 'firsts' after being away for so long. My first birthday back, my first Ramadhan, my first Eid... and the list might just keep growing. Pictures below are from the time I got to spend my birthday with these cuties. The last time I celebrated my birthday back in Kuala Lumpur was in 2009. And how sweet were they when they waited for 3 HOURS because they wanted to surprise me, but I was stuck at work! The sweetest!

So Eid is coming up next week but I still havent gotten a dress for the occasion. I have been unusually good in terms of shopping but I think I can allow myself a little indulgence for the cheerful season right? Selamat Hari Raya or Eid Mubarak to everyone that'll be celebrating!

Catch up again soon!
P xx