Quickest. Anatomy. Scan. Ever.

Yes, we had the big anatomy scan! My office only does one routine ultrasound, the anatomy scan, at 20 weeks. So this was it; this was the big show! I had been dying of excitement all week. The office only does them on Fridays so I am guessing they herd us through like cattle. That might explain the extreme brevity.

The first thing she asked was if we wanted to know the gender. Yes please! And off we went. This is your cervix, measure, move on. This is the head, measure, move on. Here is the abdomen, stomach check, kidneys check, bladder check. She whipped right through it. Baby was moving quite a bit and did not seem at all pleased with the probing.

So after all of the important anatomy checked out and measured perfectly, it was on to the big reveal!

Now, I can't remember if I've written about this before but I've always, always said I would have a girl first and then a boy. When I was younger (like not even an adult) I would say that and my mom would say, "Well don't you want a boy first like you and your brother? Older brothers always protect their sisters." But honestly it was never about want, I just felt like it was what would happen. I had to refer back but years ago (February 2009 as it turns out) I did one of those facebook memes for "25 Things About Me" and item #22 was that I have always known I would have a girl and then a boy.

People have been asking me if I want a boy or a girl. I quite honestly replied that it was fine either way. A boy would be nice to have one of each. A girl would be nice to have sisters, which I never had, and we have all the girl stuff. I just knew I wanted two children and I would not be upset either way. But, from the very beginning, prediction notwithstanding, I have felt that this baby was a boy. Everything about this pregnancy has been different. I'm carrying different, my acne is so much worse (ugh, it's awful), and my boobs got huge* right away, symptoms are different, etc.. And I just had that intuition.

So I kept telling everyone that I would be shocked if it was a girl. And it was.. a boy! I was right! I know with two kids that I had a 25% chance of predicting the right genders in the right order but still, I just knew. :)

So then it was on to the 3D portion. Now obviously the 3D section is really just for fun. I mean, it doesn't really give them any more info except maybe if there is a cleft lip or facial deformity or something. But this lady spent all of two minutes and we got nothing! In her defense his hands were both over his lower face and the cord was literally right across his eyes! We saw an ear. That's about it. Then she declared that he was not going to cooperate and the session was over. I swear the whole thing lasted less than 10 minutes. I have some really beautiful pictures of his kidneys, etc. That's it! Not even a 2D profile! Grrr! I have gorgeous pictures of C that I could have used to pick her out of a lineup at birth. You can even tell today that it is the same kid!

So anyway, I'm disappointed about that. But, obviously I'm thrilled that everything is fine. My placenta is nice and high, baby looks great, and I haven't bled in almost a month. Hooray! Things are good. I had thought about going to one of those elective ultrasound places when my in-laws were going to be in town next month but now they're not coming. But with the complete lack of pictures we got I may do it anyway now! We didn't even get the arrow to the penis shot that says "I'm a boy!". :(

So C was a bit disappointed. She wanted a sister, unbeknownst to me. She keeps saying she's having a baby sister and now I reply, "No, you're having a baby brother." Then she says "Maybe next time." Sorry kid, this is it! :)

*Huge for me is like yahoo, I have B cups!

Quick Update

Just a quick update... still bleeding but very minimally and definitely not red anymore. I am hoping this is a sign that it will be done soon. Kind of cramping but I am thinking it is just the normal aches and stretching of this stage of pregnancy and nothing I would be worried about if I wasn't also bleeding.

In other news, the bump is out - loud and proud. I do not personally believe in making my real pants work for as long as possible; I find that very uncomfortable. So I think maternity pants will be making their appearance next week at 14 weeks - why not embrace the comfort?

More Drama for This Mama

You know, I worried every second of my pregnancy with C. I had had a miscarriage and I didn't trust my wacky hormones to properly sustain a pregnancy. I worried about everything. As I got closer to the viability point I counted down the days and obsessed over what the percentage was that a baby born at that point would survive. I googled every possible thing that could have been wrong, even though nothing ever was. It was a totally uneventful pregnancy and birth. Couldn't have gone better except for the slight scare of her not breathing right away after birth and Hubby not being able to cut the cord. Otherwise, textbook. Nevertheless, I drove my mother and my husband crazy with my obsessing.

So this time I vowed I would be better. And I have. Even after I had the bleeding right after the positive test. Once it stopped and had been gone for a few days I breathed a sigh of relief and moved on with a really positive attitude. And I was able to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks with my doppler. With C I listened every night once I found it. This time I've only listened three or four times and one of those was just to let my parents hear. Just last night I was thinking 'Hey, I haven't used the doppler for quite a while. But that's okay, I'm not worried.'

And then, today. I went to get my favorite strawberry poppy seed salad at Panera for lunch. As soon as I got out of my car I knew something was wrong. I rushed into the bathroom and found my underwear soaked through with blood, with it threatening to soak through my jeans as well. I went to wipe and there was a huge piece of what I thought was tissue basically hanging out of me (sorry, I know this is a bit graphic). I thought it could be part of the placenta. I panicked when I saw it and was so afraid that I would even see the baby. I cleaned up as best I could and decided to keep the piece that came out. I left and called my doctor. The nurse was very nonchalant and I wanted to scream at her. She said she'd see what they wanted me to do and call me back. They called back and told me to come in.

I went home, changed, and quick dug out the doppler. I was relieved to hear the heartbeat right away but I didn't think it really mattered at that point. I got to the clinic and waited a short time to be seen. When the doctor came in she started talking to me about the thyroid test results we had been discussing by phone today before the drama. I know she said everything was okay with that but I just started bawling and barely heard her. So she felt bad and said she'd get down to business. She found the heartbeat right away too and said, "See, everything is okay." She was very sweet and I really like her. Ultimately it seems to be a subchorionic hemorrhage. Which I know happens and I know it can be okay. But there was so much blood and it is so scary. And the "thing" turned out to just be a large blood clot, which was evident by the time I showed it to her.

So now the worry is will it stop and is it bad enough to cause a problem like placental abruption. Sigh. I am freaking out after I was doing so well. After two scares and one so late in the game I just lost it. We have told everyone at this point, facebook and the whole deal. And we've been talking about it extensively with C. The doctor told me she is sorry there is nothing they can do and I know that. There is nothing anyone can do but pray and be hopeful. She didn't even do an ultrasound (that is clearly their M.O.) and I get it; that wouldn't change anything anyway.

Tonight I soaked through a pad but since I changed it a few hours ago there hasn't been anything more. So that's where I'm at. I'll keep you posted. Send some thoughts and prayers for baby if you can spare them please. The heartbeat sound nice and loud a few minutes ago. That doppler is going to get its workout now.

Such a Slug

Ugh, I've been such a slug lately. So little energy or motivation to do anything! I got a cold two weeks ago today and just when I thought I was getting better it morphed into a sinus infection and I was miserable. I broke down and went to urgent care on Mother's Day when I couldn't see straight anymore. Antibiotics (pregnancy-safe, of course) to the rescue. Now I'm finally feeling better but still very low on energy.

BUT, we did have the 1st Trimester Screening this week on Tuesday. I'm no spring chicken so it didn't seem like a bad idea but really I just wanted a peek at the baby! And yes, there is only one and he looked great. (I say 'he' generically, but I really do think it is a boy; we shall see) This ultrasound was so much better quality than the one we had with C at this stage. She even did a 3D peek for fun. It never ceases to amaze me that where there was nothing 10 weeks ago there is now a nearly fully formed human with arms, legs, and even distinguishable fingers and toes. Crazy. But this lady was so thorough and spent so much time trying to confirm the nasal bone that eventually my neck hurt from turning and I wondered to myself whether I was a bad mom for not looking anymore. I think it was nearly an hour!

Oh, and the baby is already making me look like a fool! When I had my first ultrasound with C I told the lady to expect the baby to measure a full week behind what my period would indicate. I had had a blood test, I was temping, and using OPKs. I mean, I knew when that kid was conceived! The tech grilled me about how I "knew" this and clearly did not buy my story. Well C proved me right and was exaclty a week less than they expected; good girl. But NOT this time, oh no. I went through the same spiel, but this time I figured they were off four or five days. I got the same skepticism and strange look but I sat back and waited to be proven right. That stinker measured to the day what my period would predict! So no idea what is going on there, other than that right about this point they start to not be so consistent in their growth. So either I am crazy and my OPK lied, or this kid is going to be bigger than his/her sister who was a peanut. Either way, he's already causing me trouble. :)

So according to the doctors, I am 12 weeks 4 days today whereas I would have said 12 weeks exactly. I know it's silly but it's going to bug me the whole time. :) Oh, and the u/s plus blood tests returned extremely low risk levels for Down Syndrome and the other two more serious chromosome abnormalities. Good news.

And now, for some pictures!

 

Doesn't it even look like a boy?! (I should probably be careful saying that lest I am proven wrong by baby again!)

First Prenatal Appointment

The first appointment was today. The NP couldn't find the heartbeat by doppler but that wasn't too surprising considering I'm not even 8 weeks until tomorrow. So nothing too exciting happened, just the usual information gathering and urine giving.

They still won't do an ultrasound until 20 weeks. Ugh. And then she says, "Well, I suppose you're worried about twins." Well, I wouldn't say worried but... Yes, the thought has definitely been on our minds and I'd rather know sooner than later. So she says that if my uterus is measuring big in the future then they'll take a look early. And she said it is unlikely, which I know. But it is twice as likely as for someone not taking clomid, nonetheless.

But... they offer the screening at 11-13 weeks that involves the ultrasound measurement of the nuchal fold. So guess who is definitely signing up for that one! Yes, if only to get a peek at the baby.

So nothing too exciting to report. I am definitely nauseous about 75% of the day and pretty much have to just lay around after work due to that and the extreme fatigue that I do not remember from last time. But I can't complain because I haven't thrown up and I can still eat all three meals per day. That's a definite improvement from last time!

Good News!

I almost went to bed without updating!

I got the call at work today at about 3pm. The nurse said that my HCG level had risen appropriately. Actually, she kind of scared me by saying "your level skyrocketed". Ummm, isn't that bad? Then she said, "Oh no, I mean it was just fine."

Anyway, after some prompting she gave me the actual numbers of 275 last Friday and 1216 on Monday 72 hours later. I love this graphic at babymed that you can plot:

So I know it's too early to decorate the nursery but I'm pregnant! And excited. :) She said the will have me keep my mid-April appointment (sans ultrasound) at about 9 weeks and the best I can hope for is that maybe they can hear the heartbeat by doppler. Ugh. This no ultrasound is gonna kill me.

News Tomorrow, I Hope

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, and check-ins. I really, really appreciate it!

I have been feeling pretty good, actually. The bleeding is totally gone. Following the first discovery I did have a tiny bit of spotting this weekend but always brown. Now I haven't seen anything the last two days. And I'm also very happy to report that the cramping is gone. That had me worried well into the weekend.

I went for my second blood draw today (although the 11 inches of snow we got last night almost cancelled that!) and I very much hope to hear results tomorrow. I promise to post tomorrow night if I hear.

Thanks again, friends. :)

Update 2

Sooo...

I don't know what's going on. There has been no more bleeding since what I found yesterday at lunch time. There's been maybe some residual but nothing like what I saw that freaked me out. So that is good. But unfortunately I have had a lot of cramping today. Ranging from mild to moderate.

I went to my OB's office today to get a blood draw for HCG and I'll repeat on Monday so they can determine whether the level is rising appropriately. Did I tell you that they normally don't do an ultrasound until 20 weeks?! I think if my levels are appropriate that I may be demanding one now.

That's all I got for now; just playing the waiting game and hoping it will work out.

Update

At lunch time I found I was bleeding. Brown; more than spotting, less than a period. It has stopped but I have moderate cramping too. Not looking good. Waiting to see...

Prayers and good thoughts please.

Wow, You Guys

"Geez, she had one negative pregnancy test and disappeared off the face of the Earth."

I know. But seriously guys, it's been a crazy few months. My little department of two at work turned into one. The guy who recruited me to work with him resigned after 23 years with the company! And he had the nerve to have his last day on my one year anniversary with the company! You may remember that my company had a very bad year last year but luckily things have been much better. I am very impressed by our new CEO and we would all surely be out of jobs without her. But we still have a long way to go. Anyway, I could go on and on about how stressful my job has been but suffice it to say... I've been stressed.

Couple work stress with raising a two-and-a-half-year-old and baby making has just taken a back seat this time around. It is all I can do to use my OPKs early and often enough. Seriously, I could tell you my cycle day, BBT, and anything else cycle related every day last time. This time I have had to look back at the calendar and try to recruit hubby into helping me remember the first day of my last period.

Then things weren't happening quickly like I expected. That first month I had a positive OPK but then a BFN. Then the second month it turned out that ovulation was probably going to happen over our Christmas trip. When I was super sick. And we were sleeping in the guest room at my in-laws' house. With our toddler in the same bedroom. Right next door to MIL and FIL. It was not a conducive situation, to say the least. We gave it a last ditch effort the day we got home but too little, too late it seemed. Month three seemed to bring about no ovulation. So I got doc to up it to 100 mg of clomid for this month.

And then... anybody still reading? This morning I used what was supposed to be a super sensitive pregnancy test (10 mIU/mL detection limit). One of the dip kinds. To an amateur it would have looked negative but my keen eye saw the faintest little line. On my lunch break I got a digital test (supposedly less sensitive at 25 mIU/mL detection limit) and lo and behold, after three minutes there was the one word: Pregnant.

I'm pregnant you guys! By my calculations I am 3 weeks 4 days. I know; it's extremely early. So I'm quite nervous yet given my 50% success rate of pregnancy leading to an actual baby but I'm throwing it out there to y'all anyway. I'll keep you posted. :)