Geepatty’s Weblog

Dan loved the Upper Peninsula, Michigan.  It was his spiritual home and a place where there are so many wonderful memories.  When Dan passed over, there was no question where his ashes should go.  I immediately knew they were to go where we have Thi.r.sty Dance Ceremony each summer.  I knew from Dan’s writings that he didn’t want to be sitting in an urn on a mantle, and putting him in water in a place he loved seemed to fit his life and his personality.

 I took his urn to the U.P. on Tuesday, June 16 where I met his family.  We went to a beach along Lake Huron.  After Dan danced at Ceremony, this was the place I drove him each year to jump in the water and get clean and renewed.  The summer before he died he even swam out to a small island.  I just watched him from the beach-being 7 months pregnant I wasn’t up for the cold swim.  I remember how happy he was and content at that moment. 

We got to the beach.  We opened the urn.  We smoked his pipe together.  It is a beautiful pipe.  smoked beautifully.  We then filled up an abalone shell and each of us put tobacco in the shell with our prayers.  Becky and I went into the very cold water.  We sang a few songs and released his ashes into the water just as the sun was setting.

 I was a beautiful ceremony.  Very private and intimate.  It is such a good spot for him to be but he was also going to other places as well.

 On Sunday, June 21 it was a beautiful day.  Summer solstice.  Warm.  Fluffy white clouds in clear blue skies.  It was the last day of Th irsty Dance.  Ceremony ends around noon with a traditional feast following.

 I passed tobacco and asked people who knew Dan to stay after the feast for a small ceremony to spread Dan’s ashes.  I call them ashes, but the official term is “cremains.”  I think it is a weird and pretentious word so I will just stick with ashes.  Around 11:00 in the Dance Arbor, Paul let me speak about the ceremony that was going to happen.  I told everyone that we were going to release Dan’s ashes in the water immediately following feast.  I also stated that even if I didn’t pass you tobacco that you were welcome to come.  Even if you didn’t know Dan, you still know Dan’s spirit through the Drum that he made and gave to George that is used in Ceremony.

 After the T hirsty Dance feast I got out Dan’s sacreds bundle that included his pipe, tobacco pouch, medicine bag, eagle bone whistle, moccasins, dance skirt, and dance wreath.  I picked a spot on the lake on the ceremony property land.  The place on the lake is right in front of the sweat lodge by the cabin.  There is also a fire pit with benches that we used to gather around during the day and visit and learn from our elders.   I remember many fond hours hanging out with Dan and our Th irsty Dance family there.

 I laid out his sacreds in front of the sweat lodge and opened up his urn with a screw driver.  I smudged my own pipe and loaded it up.  Then we went and got the drum from the Arbor.  The men set up the drum and everyone gathered around.  While people were gathering around I played 2 favorite songs of Dan’s from my ipod- “Here Comes the Sun” and “Uke Lullabye.”

 The men on the drum smoked Dan’s pipe one last time.  They set up an empty chair with a drumstick for Dan.  His pipe made it around the drum exactly one time.  I shared my pipe with the women and we began.

 They sang songs playing the beautiful drum that Dan made and I love.  They started with a song  I call “Oh Happy Day.”  It is an honor song that says “it is a good day.”  I remember Dan playing that song on that drum, hitting those honor beats so clear and sure on the day that Paul and Diane retook their marriage vows.  I also remember that song played during the funeral as well. 

 Next they played “Many Eagles Set.”  This song was passed down from the first T hirsty Dance on Turtle Mountain North Dakota in 1860.  Dan loved the dance, his heritage, and this song.  Next, Jerry wanted to sing the Milkweed song which I do not know but it is very pretty.  It represents family and how the milkweed has many seeds in its pod that it eventually lets go to the wind.  One more song was sung but I can’t really remember it.  I was praying and saying goodbye to Dan…in my own little world.

 People spoke and said a few kind words about Dan.  Paul said that the lake empties into a little river.  The river empties into Munuscong Lake.  That lake goes into Potagannissing Bay which then goes in one direction Lakes Huron, Ontario and Erie and finally into the Atlantic.  In the other direction it goes to Lakes Michigan and Superior into the Mississippi River, into the Gulf of Mexico.  So Dan’s ashes were being carried around the world.  Nice to think of it that way.

 I told a story about my first year at Thirs ty Dance in 2003. . .  I was in the sweat lodge talking about my sister, Debbie, who died in 1997.  Every time I talked about my sister I cried.  I couldn’t help it.  So I talked about her very little.  After the lodge I was sitting on the bench.  The air temperature was perfect, the stars were glorious, and I was enjoying the peace and quiet.  A man came and sat next to me.  To this day I have no idea who it was because it was so dark.  He told me, “You have to let her go.  As long as you hold on to her so tight, she will not leave you.  You have to let her know it is okay for her to go.  That you will be ok.”  From that moment on I was able to talk about my sister without the intense and profound grief.  I was able to let her go and move on… I then said to everyone that it was time to let Dan go.  Time to let him go. 

 People came one at a time to the water.  They brought abalone shells and bowls.  I put some of his ashes into their container with the tobacco they brought with prayers.  They then put him into the water, one by one.  Many hugs and tears were given.  George went with Nate and they spread ashes together.

 Finally, Dan’s family came to put their ashes in as well.  Dan’s dad walked into the water and spread his ashes.  His mom and sister went together.  I went by myself.

 When it was all done there was a lot of ashes still left so Becky and I walked around the lake to a small waterfall off of the lake and spread most of the rest of the ashes.  I saved a small amount to do later this summer at another location.  I will spread some ashes with my side of the family who was not able to come to the U.P.- probably over the Mackinac Bridge.  The rest of the ashes I will release, alone, soon.

 We returned back to the bundle and I wrapped up Dan’s pipe for the last time.  His sacred items are not put away for Nate and Jake when they are ready.

 So there you go.  It was hard to do, but not so hard that it was impossible.  I shed a few tears but they were happy with gratitude for this wonderful man who I was fortunate enough to spend a brief 11 years of my life.