Adoptionmama

Okay, so you know what totally annoys me?? It is a BIG pet peeve of mine! Actually, there are two things. If you are a woman, you know how total strangers come up to your pregnant belly and touch your stomach? Well, it’s kind of the same, but whenever I have Fia’s hair out, they touch it. People start patting it down or touching it. I kind of understand, especially if it is a kid, but do you like people petting or pushing down your hair? I sure don’t!! It’s kind of gross. Maybe I am a germ-a-phobe, but isn’t it rude for people to take their hands that have been all over town and starting patting down your hair? It especially bothers me when your child that has black, kinky hair isn’t supposed to shampoo her hair that often at all? I think it also bothers me because I put so much time in her hair and I know that every time you touch it, you are taking more oils out of her hair, causing breakage. And this is a problem I have because I seriously start hearing, “CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH,” in my head every time someone pats it down. It is awful.

The other thing that gets me irked(since I am on a roll-sorry you didn’t ask!), is when children think her hair is like a nest. Can I tell you how many times my children with blonde hair have had grass thrown in their hair…not much! Can I tell you how many times Fia has had grass placed on top of her hair, or better yet, sand and dirt??? LOTS!! Tonight, I was playing in a softball league and I looked over at Fia and a little girl was literally placing piles of grass on her head. Ahhhh!!! I tried to hold my annyance in to no avail.  All summer, I have had Fia’s hair in braids and people keep commenting that they miss her hair out. So did I, but I just wanted Fia to get up and go this summer without having to worry about getting her hair done and honestly, I thought it would be easier if sand or grass got in the braids if she was playing outside. It is just SO hard to get stuff out of the fro. In the past we have even found decent size pebbles stuck inside near her scalp! So…today, we were heading into the city, so I thought I would take the time to have it out. It was all good until we got home and I forgot about our softball game. I told Fia not to let anyone throw anything in her hair….so, it just totally made me mad to see that little girl putting grass in her hair. I yelled from the field and told Fia to tell the little girl to stop doing that. Not so surprisngly, the mom heard me and started to go over to her daughter, but a friend had already seen and started picking grass out of her hair, one by one. Thanks Megan! It only took another half hour to get the rest out at home!

You probably think I am a crazy mom now. I might be. AND, I realize that she is a kid and she is going to get dirty, and I probably need to lighten up more.  BUT….she is not even doing it to herself!! We talked a lot tonight about standing up for yourself and saying, ‘Please don’t touch my hair,’ or ‘Please don’t treat my hair like a bird’s nest'(okay, I didn’t say that, just ‘DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN MY HAIR!!’), so hopefully between the two of us, we will be a force to reckon with.  Is that too much to ask???

Recently we took a three-week road trip with the 7 of us! We drove from WA to IL, with stop-overs in Montana, North Dakota, and a week in Minnesota.  We actually had such a great trip.  I say that because when I say that we took a three-week road trip, people look at me like I am crazy and ask how often I had to stop early for happy hour.   Haha!Never…that is unless you count our two night stop over at my cousin’s house in Montana.   There we made some yummy mojitos.

This was our first big road trip that I think Fia and Kwame will remember, so that made it even more special.  We took one down to Santa Cruz soon after they came home, but I think things were so new and they were that much younger that I don’t think they will remember it.  This time they got to go and play with friends, cousins, hang out with Grandma and Grandpa Farm, and visit with two great grandmas.  It was really special and all the kids seemed to enjoy it.  I even heard my older son comment to his dad that this was even more fun than Hawaii.  Now, I don’t know if I would go that far, maybe I would say it is as fun, but in a different way! How cool though for me to hear that my kids loved it so much, cause I mean really, with 5 kids, most of our travel will be by car now.  Hopefully they will continue to think that as the novelty wears off.

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Fia just finished preschool.  She absolutely LOVED it, but now all she can think about is that she is a KINDERGARTENER!! She ‘graduated’ and she can’t help but share it with everyone.  I promise you that if you run into her in the next day or two, the first thing she will tell you is that she is now a kindergartener. 

Her small preschool was a mixture of kids ages 3-5 and it was so good for her.  Even though Kwame was old enough to go with her, we just sent Fia, and it was such a good experience for them to be on their own for a little bit a few times a week.   She was able to learn alot, be creative, and  get messier than I usually allow! Ha!  She mentioned more than a couple of times that they ‘let her get dirty at school and mommy doesn’t like it when she gets dirty.’  Oops—I  guess I haven’t really taken out the paint lately…for that, I am especially glad for preschool!

Fia’s teachers were one of the highlights about her school.  They truly loved her.  It was such a gift to drop my daughter off at school and know that she was being well cared for and loved.  One special thing her teacher did was to  put all of the photos that she had of each of the kids on a disc for the parents to enjoy.  What a special gift-I love it! Another thing that she did was write a note to each of the parents with questions and answers of their child, as well as a little paragraph about them.  It was so neat to get my first ‘report card’ about Fia.  She is truly a blessing….here are some of the questions Fia was asked, as well as a little paragraph about her:

What has been your favorite thing about Preschool?
Playing outside with toys and buckets and water and dirt!
What are you thankful for?
For my mom and dad. I am thankful that I can play now.
What do you love to do?
Play with mom and ride bikes
How do you show love?
I listen to mom and dad
What makes you grouchy?
When my sister is not being nice

What a joy Fia has been in the classroom.  Her smile lights up the room.  She comes in the classroom showing me what she is wearing.  She loves to “bake” at the play dough table.  She makes all kinds of cookies and cakes.  She also loves sand and water.  These last two weeks we had sand in the sensory table and Fia was making sand castles.  Her buddy has been Evelyn.  They like to do puzzles together and play play dough.

I think Fia’s teacher nailed her right on the mark! She is such a joy and she DOES light up rooms! She also loves to show me everyday what she is wearing, and she is proud of her outfits she puts together.   Even back in Ghana, she was that way.  She has been into shoes and clothes before I even met her.  She is wired that way. Fia is definitely my daughter, huh?

Sorry that I have been MIA.  This spring season has been crazy with 3/5 kids playing on baseball/softball teams, one of those three also playing soccer, all three playing piano, two in Norwegian Dance, one in chess, one in marimba, and one in a Talent Show! I am not sure how we are going to do it in a couple of years when we will most likely have all of the kids playing or participating in some sort of afterschool activity. 

Right now, Norwegian dancing  just ended for the older two girls, but we have signed up  all three girls for next year.  Yep, Fia is going to be their first Ghanaian-American Norwegian dancer at this lodge….she may even be the first anywhere???Hmmm…I will definitely post pictures of them next year.  For now, here is a picture of the big girls with Fia and Kwame on our way to a town parade for a Norwegian Independence Day celebration.

Fia is SOOOO excited to start dance next fall.  I shouldn’t have told her about it yet, because she doesn’t realize how far away it is and she asks me everyday  if it is time to start dance.  You may be wondering why Norwegian dancing???, but it is the heritage of our town, my family, and to be honest, it is AFFORDABLE FOR THREE GIRLS! 😉

I am a little nervous about the comments that we will get/or she will get, but we are choosing to live with confidence and without fear.  If Fia wants to do this because this is what she has seen her big sisters do, then I am all for it.  But, there are stereotypes everywhere and they can’t be ignored.  So, we are going to squish them!  For starters, people always comment on how Greta and Ella look exactly alike(they don’t to most that are close to them and it is actually quite humorous to me. I mean really, Greta has blond hair and Ella has white hair-that is SO different-haha!) And when I was signing the girls up for dance last week, I told Greta’s instructor that this year our youngest daughter would be dancing too.  She said, ‘Oh good, does she look just like the other two?’.  Ummm…..no.   Well…kind of.  She is a cutie, has a  great smile and she is wearing her hair in pigtails, but besides that, she has black hair and brown skin, so no, she doesn’t look just like the other two, as she is from Ghana.  Is that a problem? Does she have to be fair haired and fair skinned??? Honestly,  this lady was just having a friendly conversation, but it did make me quickly aware that Fia will most definitely not fit the stereotype that people will have, and justified or not, we have them. 

This last week, a friend turned me onto a piece by Anderson Cooper. (Click here to view it)  In this segment he interviewed kids that both have black skin and white skin.  It was sad to see what the kids were saying about themselves and what they thought of the different skin tones.  I most definitely don’t like that this false judgement is still a reality in our country and in our world.  I love when I hear my older, blond, straight-haired girls ask me to braid their hair like Fia’s….or when asked during a ‘Table Topic’s’ game what attribute they most want of their siblings, they said they wish they had Fia’s hair.  I love that my children  all think each other is beautifully made, but it scares me that some of these stereotypes might harm them in school and in life.  Check out the video and let me know your thoughts.

My kids have the best sets of grandparents and they are so fortunate! Whether they live near or far, both sets, plus great-grandparents, have embraced their new grandchildren as they have all the rest.  It is so special to see the bonds between them and the love that was quickly there. 

Grandma Farm(who obviously lives on a farm) loves to sew and surprised Fia with a new dress with some fabric that we bought in Ghana.  It turned out beautifully! I love that we(and what  I mean by that is my shopping and my MIL’s sewing talent) can combine both cultures to make a new family heirloom.  I can’t wait to open the next package from MN

….I hear that there is a matching shirt for Kwame and some ruffled bloomers for Fia!

Did you know that it is best if I lotion Fia and Kwame at least twice a day?  If I don’t do that, their skin will get so dry and ashy and they will start to itch.  Believe me…I have forgotten a time or two and I have felt awful! A spot that was particularly hard to remember before was under the toes and Kwame would start to get cracks under his toes if we went too long.  😦  I felt so bad the first time I realized this.  My older children hardly ever put lotion on, so this was something new that we needed to put in our schedule…that, and hair!

We tend to do it now the same time every day so that we don’t forget.  We  lotion up in the morning when we are having family devotions before school(yep, multi-tasking is the only way!)  and again before going to bed(along with a glass of wine-ha!-multi-tasking again).  There are lots of lotions out there and I trying to make sure that I was buying the lotion with Shea in it.  Did you know that shea butter is from Ghana? Pretty cool, huh? I tried using different brands, but I didn’t want anything with petroleum in it and preferred an organic base.  Nothing worked quite as good as a homemade shea butter that my friend, Amy,  found.  You can find the recipe here.  I have made a big batch now two times since the kids came home over a year ago and it is fabulous! Check it out-nothing better than whipped shea butter; and you don’t have to be Ghanaian to enjoy it!