Friday January 9 2026
Romance
- July 21, 2020
Romance in the Sunset Years
When you watch television or the movies, you would come to the conclusion that romance is only the stuff of those in their teens or 20s. As though somehow once someone reaches full adulthood, much less senior citizen age, the concept of romance is completely out of the question. This may be more a function of the fact that more people in those age groups go to the movies than any grounding in reality about romance. But we know for a fact that romance in the sunset years not only is possible, it might be the sweetest romance of them all. Part of the confusion may lie in another misconception or "myth" about senior citizens that they are not capable of sexual activity. There are two levels of error in this misconception. The first is the idea that people over 50 are sexually inactive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sexuality is a healthy component of adult life at all phases of our maturity and senior citizens are just as capable of sexuality in their relationships as your most randy teenager, albeit probably good deal more careful. The second misconception that is good to confront and put to rest is that even if sexuality is not part of the mix, seniors are not romantic people. This misconception is without a doubt held people who don't spend any quality time with senior citizens themselves. If anything, the opposite is the truth. If anyone tracked the movie rental patterns of senior citizens, they would witness that seniors have a healthy appetite for romantic comedies and have a healthy interest in romantic relationships. Retirement very often is a time of tremendous rebirth of the concept of romance between senior couples. Married couples who may have seen the romance fizzle in their relationship during the child raising years often see that element of their relationship blossom and become even more sweet and exciting than it was when they were dating. Adult life before retirement is often packed with pressures of raising kids and getting them "launched" as well as work and social pressures. This kind of thing can take away the emotional and mental energy needed for romance. So when a marriage matures into retirement years together, its common for senior citizens to rediscover why they fell in love in the first place and experience a new era of romance that is fun and thrilling for both. But senior citizens who find themselves single are perfectly capable of looking for romantic times with others of their own generation. If they have managed their finances well, senior citizens may be well equipped to enjoy an active dating life and enjoy romantic evenings with each other that enrich their lives and keep them upbeat and looking forward to their next romantic experience. Moreover, seniors have the time and the leisure to nurture their romantic relationships slowly. So the suspense of building a romance makes that romance full of excitement of discovery is easily afforded for a senior citizen who may not be as "eager" to see the romance "go somewhere" as a youth looking to start a family. But dating and enjoying romantic times with the opposite sex also provide much needed companionship and deep friendships can evolve from romances in the golden years. If the senior citizen has lost a spouse, these times with others their own age can fill a gap left by that spouse and help ease the transition and the grief so the senior citizen can move on to single life successfully.
- July 19, 2020
Romance – The 10 Biggest Misconceptions
Whether you've been in a relationship for over 25 years or are just starting out, we all have our own idea of what romance is. Romance is an essential element of every successful and passionate relationship. Usually relationships start with romance but life has a tendency to interfere. I have listed below what I believe are the 10 biggest misconceptions that people have about Romance: Romance and Sex are the Same Thing: This could not be any further from the truth. Although romance can lead to sex, a person being romantic just for sex will be completely transparent and possibly backfire. Think of Romance as 'Mental Foreplay'. Romance let's your loved one know that not only did you think about them but you took the extra step to show them how much they mean to you. Romance isn't important in a relationship: Between our jobs, hobbies, and all the other things that life throws at us, our relationship with our partner tends to take a back seat to those things we perceive as more important in life. The reality is that the relationship with our partner is the glue that holds everything else in our life together. Adding Romance to your relationship will not only make it more exciting but also more enjoyable. Being Romantic requires a lot of money: Romance isn't about how much money you spend on your partner. It's about trying to make some of their fantasies and dreams come true. Most of the time just opening the door for your partner or complementing them on the way they look will make them feel more loved than buying them an expensive gift. Romance requires a great deal of time and effort: While some aspects of romance can require lots of time, romance is also about the little things that make a big difference in a relationship. A simple thing like turning down the lights, putting on your favorite CD and dancing in the kitchen while dinner is in the oven exudes Romance and takes very little time and effort. Only Women are Romantic: In most relationships, the woman is considered to be more romantic, however this does not have to be the case. Both men and women need to partake in the hunt for romance. The only difference between a romantic person and the unromantic person is the amount of time they devote to doing the little things for their partner and their relationship. Flowers and candy always work: Although flowers and candy are a nice gesture, they are so commonplace. You can still give your partner flowers and candy but spice it up some. Try taking your partner to the place where you first met or kissed and present the flowers and candy to them there. Going that extra step and not stopping at ordinary makes all of the difference when it comes to Romance. You're either born a romantic or you're not: The truth is, no one is born with a 'Romance Gene'. Everyone has to learn how to be romantic either from a book, the way your friends or family treat each other, movies, TV, or some other resource. One nice thing about Romance is that it is contagious, as time goes on you want to be more and more romantic towards your partner and chances are your partner will be more romantic in return. Saying 'I Love You' is enough: Everyone likes to hear 'I Love You' but when it comes to Romance, actions can say more than a thousand words ever will. Being truly romantic is about backing up the words with something your partner will remember. Try something like writing 'I Love You' on the top of the stick of butter with a toothpick before setting it on the table for dinner. Romance takes a lot of preparation: The nice thing about Romance is that there is no exact formula – what one person finds extremely romantic may not be romantic at all to someone else. The key to being Romantic is to find out what your partner finds Romantic. Don't be afraid to ask them, they will be glad you did. Being Romantic on Valentines Day and Sweetest Day is enough: Being romantic on the days you are supposed to be is expected. Being romantic all year round on the other hand is vital to the overall health of you relationship. Every successful relationship needs impulsiveness and spontaneity – it keeps things exciting.
- May 29, 2020
Readers of Romance Novels Have Better Sex Lives
According to BusinessWeek, every 5 seconds someone buys a romance novel. For those more mathematically inclined—that makes romance novels a $1.2 billion dollar a year industry. And it's no wonder. Experts agree that readers of romance novels find it easier to "get in the mood" and on average, even have sex with their partners more often. Psychology Today states that women who read romance novels make love with their partners 74% more often than women who don't. Why? Because, according to a scientific study conducted by Harold Leitenberg of the The Journal of Sex Research and Psychological Bulletin, when women fantasize frequently (as they do when they read romance novels), they have sex more often, have more fun in bed, and engage in a wider variety of erotic activities. Many therapists now go so far as to recommend reading steamy romance stories to boost a woman's sex drive. Their reasoning: "taking part in enjoyable activities such as walking with a partner, listening to music, having a glass of wine, taking a bath, or reading a romance novel can help put women in the mood for sex. These activities can help women shift into their "sex self" from their role as mother, wife, employer, or employee," says Carol Rinkleib Ellison, PhD, a psychologist and author of Women's Sexualities. Christiane Northrup, M.D. of Women's Health Wisdom also says: "Consider reading novels or renting movies that contain sexual content to help you get in the mood." For those of us that enjoy a steamy romance novel on a regular basis—this is not new news. We've been trying to tell mainstream nay-sayers this all along. We women are turned on by "emotional stimulation" the way men are aroused visually. Though more and more romance authors are leaning toward more erotic romance, women don't always require graphic sex scenes to become aroused. After reading an emotionally intense love scene, a woman feels more open to the "idea" of making love—or "in the mood" for sex. Maria Veloso, author of Midwinter Turns to Spring states, "Contrary to popular belief, the ability of romance novels to fuel a woman's sexual desire doesn't lie in the stereotypical bodice-ripping, sexually explicit scenes so inherent in romance novels – but rather in the realm of emotions. In most cases, a woman's libido is directly linked to emotions that revolve around romance and love. These emotions are a connected set of processes that involve physiological changes, such as heart rate, blood pressure and hormones circulating throughout the body—and these comprise the cornerstones of a woman's sexual drive. Therefore, when a woman's emotions are stirred by a romance novel, that's a recipe for an emotional aphrodisiac. It's like giving a woman emotional foreplay." She goes on to say that "when women read romance novels, their emotions are stirred. Because a woman's emotions are directly linked to their libido, romance novels then virtually become aphrodisiac cocktails – or what I call emotional foreplay for women. And that's a prelude to sex." Just as men become aroused while perusing nude magazines, women stimulate their emotional and their libido while reading a satisfying love scene. Some critics of either men's magazine or steamy romance novels may doubt this activity as an acceptable alternate for couples in a committed relationship for bettering a person's sex life. Some may believe these habits may actually take away that special something from a sexual relationship rather than enhance it. Based on this current scientific studies, this is, thankfully, not the case. Women's sex lives and the level of intimacy they have with their husbands, boyfriends or partners will show a noticeable improvement after reading a romance novel because it simply puts them in a more romantic state of mind. So what's the link between romance novel and better sex lives? Emotional satisfaction. That's something to think about when you're at the counter trying to decide between this month's Cosmo and the latest steamy romance novel!!! Bonnie Williams Copyright(C) 2006 Sources: BusinessWeek Online – 02/12/2006; Romance Novels: Reading for Love, The Journal of Sex Research - 2/1/2001; Harold Leitenberg - Sexual Fantasies About One's Partner Versus Someone Else: Gender Differences in Incidence and Frequency, WebMD – 07/26/2004; Dulce Zamora - Revving Up Women's Sex Drive, Women's Health Wisdom Online Newsletter - March 2006; Christiane Northrup, M.D. - Turn Up the Heat on Your Desire, Psychology Today - Sep/Oct 95; Peter Doskoch - The Safest Sex, The Open Press - 02/02/2006; Maria Veloso - Romance Novels: Are They the Antidote to a Dreary Sex Life?
- May 28, 2020
6 Reasons to Read Romance
Few things are more fun or controversial than readingromance novels and stories. Critics often diss romance as fluff, and your high school English teacher probably never told you to grab the latestbodice ripper off the shelves and enjoy yourself (he or shewas probably reading them in secret, though). So whyread romance? Read romance because you like it! We all have so manythings we have to do, why read books and stories we don'tlike simply because they're on the New York Times Best Seller list? Settle back with your favorite romance novel and enjoy! The pure escape offered by reading romance novels andstories make them well worth any expense involved. Daily life can bog us down and romance novels or storiesoffer us the chance to escape into a romantic adventurefor a while. We come back to our lives refreshed and ready to tacklethat pile of dishes! Reading romance novels set in different locations andparts of the world give you the chance to learn, yes, learn,about new states and countries. You can even go back in time with a historical romancenovel and learn, yep, about how people lived during othertime periods. Why, you can even go into the future and find out whatliving--and romancing--may be like in a hundred, or evena thousand, years! Reading romance gives you the chance to becomesomeone else. Yes, when actively taking part in reading,you can become another person entirely. You may well meet yourself on the page, but find an entirelynew way to approach a romance problem you're having--sometimes you can even find the solution to a relationshipproblem. If nothing else, you have the pure pleasure of not beingyourself while you're reading. You're Lindsay in the novelwho's dashing around all over London with a dashing countmadly pursuing you--not Linda with four loads of laundry to doand dinner plans to make. Romance stories and novels are a great way to take apeek into many kinds of love lives without having to askembarrassing questions or enduring conversations you'drather not have. So reading a great romance story or romance novel hasthe distinct advantage of giving you information and ideasthat you can try out with your partner! And it's for sure, your partner will be grateful! Think of the fun you have when reading romance! Thatin itself is reason enough for indulging in a romance novelor romance story. Fun! These days, fun seems to have goneout of style. Everyone's so busy working and rushingaround like crazy that few people have enough fun. So read romance for the sheer fun of it! And if it happensto make bedtime more fun too, well, good for you! You deserve it. Now, go, grab that romance novel or click to a greatromance story, snuggle up in your favorite afghan andhave some fun!
- May 1, 2020
Add Romance-Doesn’t Always Mean Roses and Candles
When most of us think of the word romance, we think of love, making love and having an incredible connection with another person. When most of us wonder how we can add romance to our relationship, we often think of sexy nights filled with lingerie, soft music and wine. But is that it? Not that there is anything wrong with this version, but is that the only option we have? Personally, I don't think so. I'm not sure if I could be considered the most romantic person around. I think I am, but who knows? To me, romance is about a deep connection with someone else. A connection that goes beyond just the lingerie and wine. I think that anytime two people who love each other are able to spend time together doing activities that they both enjoy, that can be a form of romance. True, it isn't necessarily the type of romance that gets written about but that doesn't mean it can't be romantic for the couple. If you think about it, the good memories that we hold throughout our lifetime involve two major themes: doing something we enjoy and/ or being with someone we love. When you combine the something you enjoy with the someone you love, I think that is perfect and I think that can be an (often overlooked) way to add romance to any relationship. Of course, the important distinction here is that is has to be something you both enjoy. It's not really romantic if you want to go hunting and your partner hates to hunt. Even if your partner agrees to go, the romance will be lost on her. So, pick these "non traditional" romantic gestures carefully. Don't delude yourself into believing that your partner enjoys a certain activity when you know darn well, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself, that they don't. Another aspect of something that is romantic, again in my opinion, is something out of the ordinary. Years ago I knew a couple (to be honest they were a little weird) who liked to brag that they had sex every single night. As expected, the husband bragged about it but when I asked his wife if she really enjoyed it that much she said no, it had become more of a habit and wasn't really anything hot and exciting. She said it became a little like brushing her teeth every night before bed... it became routine So, whatever romantic gesture(s) you like to do remember that if anything is done too often it becomes routine. Something that is done often will quickly lose it's intensity and can become if not boring than at least not nearly as exciting. So, if you want to add romance to your relationship, don't restrict yourself to the traditional things (not that there is anything wrong with those, but you want to keep things interesting too). Think about you and your partner and the things you both love to do. Then set up a time when you can do those things together. That can be enormously romantic.
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