A few years ago, I spent some time thinking about the meaning of Christmas. I am afraid I shocked my Christian neighbors when they realized I was looking for the secular meaning of Christmas, not the story of the baby in the manger. I think there is a wider,...
What skills are needed to follow through on a plan for the day? A plan that was made up at least one day before? And actually get the tasks accomplished in the time allotted for them? That is a question I have been working on for some years. The idea of deciding the...
I recently read The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner, and I highly recommend it. The topic is how you continue to grow your skills to a higher and higher level by means of systematic practice. He is a musician and concert-piano tuner and reached a high level of...
Do you speak up about issues in your sex life with your romantic partner? Or about political issues with close friends and family who disagree with you? Or about fundamental philosophical differences with friends from work or school? Many people are afraid to discuss...
Emotional presence is a sometimes elusive state that is variously called being "in the moment," or "in the flow," or "centered," or "grounded," or "present." I think of it as a state of mental poise, which you achieve by being fully aware of your surroundings and your...
Every emotion needs to be introspected to identify the deep values at stake. Don't misunderstand this advice. I am not recommending that whenever you get triggered, you should stop whatever you are doing to go to your desk to work through an introspection tactic. My...
Last week I wrote about the problem with setting twofers as goals. Drafting that article took longer than I planned, as I mentioned. What I didn't say was that it took 5x as long as I planned! 14 hours! That was ridiculous in some ways, and okay in others, because it...
When your goal is really a “twofer" — two benefits you think you can get for the price of one project — it often turns out that you don't get either benefit. That's because a "twofer" doesn't guide action the way a properly integrated goal does. What makes something a...
When you set a challenging goal, you need to plan multiple ways to motivate yourself to ensure you follow through. There will be days you are distracted or have low energy. There will be unforeseen difficulties. Some of the necessary steps will seem like drudgery. You...
Are you still keeping your New Year's Resolutions? And/or working toward the goals you set for this year? Or did your plans flop? If you're thinking they flopped, you need a new way to set goals — one that motivates you to follow through instead of breeding...
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