❧ runningwild/
(more...)
heart of a daughter, soul of a fighter.
( Yours sincerely, ♥ )
I'm XantheChow ♥ :)
And I'm turning TwentyONE! @ 20 September
Mayflower Primary / YioChuKang Secondary / ITE College East, Accounting.
& now Republic Polytechnic.
" RealEyes Realise RealLies "
I'm who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.
Dont compare me to someone else because there's no one else like me.
( Just give me a reason, just a little bit is enough. )
" Absence makes the heart grow fonder. "
The path I chose six months ago, it was never easy, never was. So many reasons for me to leave, yet I still choose to look for one, even if its just one, to stay.
Where there is a desire, there is gonna be a flame.
Where there is a flame, someone bound to get burned.
But just because you get burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die.
You gonna get up and try, try.
ps,
Every time I talk to you, everything just feels alright.
You never knew, never did I know too,
I would hold this long, walk this far for you, that i didn't do for anyone else before.
Gave up many thing, keeping these feelings not to fade away. Trying to make those impossible to be possible.
I never truly felt this happy after so long, and I found that feeling back, whenever I'm with you.
Boy, perhaps you never knew, you meant so much to me.
&You are that reason, I smiled, my 喜怒哀乐...
As long as you're staying, I will never give up on you, on us.
x, xoxo.
Monday, April 01, 2013, 10:31 PM
" April means; A. P-riceless. R-elationship. I. L-ove. "
♥♥
, 10:18 PM
" 早 就该放手
你的天空 有太多云朵
放 早该放手
却没有风 把我带走
在分开以后
回到一个人生活
偶尔会难过 再想起你的时候
不再联络 也许这样我们会比较好过
在分开以后 回忆不停在重播
从来没停过 要等到什么时候
我才能够 不再难过
一笑而过 .. "
Wednesday, January 09, 2013, 3:03 AM
( January, Nine ) " Some things are better left unsaid. But I'll probably get drunk and say them anyway. "
This is the first post of the brand new year 2013.
I hope this year to be a good one, *many wishes*
I wanna earn many many money! $$$$
I want a serious & blissful relationship! hahahaha!
xxx
So far so good,
Stay home having a taitai life, perhaps shall find a job soon.
Tickets booked, gonna go back msia with mummy in feb.
One week, my phone somemore no wifi now.
How nice to spoil at this time :(
I seriously can emo die when I'm over there.
I will miss home, miss you, miss her, miss him, miss them.
Gary's 3rd year death anniversary had just passed.
I will visit you real soon.
If you are still here, so much things to tell you.
I have changed so much, I wonder if you still can recognize me?
Missing those days, whenever I need you, you will appear for me.
I miss you, xiaoc.
I do miss school days, somehow I miss republic poly.
But I never regret quiting school.
Right from start, studying was never my choice anymore after accounting.
I shall go back and visit my lovely girls soon. Miss them so much.
..........
Whenever I'm with him, I just feel like sticking with him throughout.
His hug, hand, shoulder is so comfortable, so warmth.
His smell, fragrance is nice, thus it automatically become attractive to me.
Guys that sing well, totally melt my heart.
The moment we separated, I will start to miss him.
Someone I would sacrifice my sleep just to reply his texts.
Even if Im busy, I would still find time to reply him.
When I woke up, seeing his text would simply made my day ^^
seeing your name appear on my screen, a smile on my face.
...... and thus, I love you a bit more everyday.
I have to admit, when we first met...
Among all of you, you're the first that caught my eyes.
(eventhou, my other frens choose the other one)
I didnt expect me to even fall for you and didnt expect how close can we be now.
& now I cant imagine if one day we stop contacting..
Because you have become a part of my routine, someone that I'll be afraid losing.
I tried stopping myself from dropping in, because I cant tank anymore heartbreak.
But somehow, I cant stop myself from falling in love with you.
I hope you dont lead me on any further if you dont intend to catch me when I fall.
I dont want this time to be like my past.
I hope you didnt give me the wrong signals.
Sometimes, I really wonder if what you told me before was also what you told other girls too.
Sometimes, the way our conversation are, is the same as others,
or im the only exceptional?
If only I can type everything out.
But some of the things are better to be left unsaid. ^^
Dear you, I miss you a little more each day.
Those silly conversations we had, those nights where we stayed up late talking to each other.
I miss every single one of them.
It's crazy how when you're really into someone, you don't even notice anyone else~
I don't think you think of me as much as I think of you.
It's sad how a guy can like you for a minute, then forget about you the next.
If he misses you, he'll call. If he cares, he'll show it. If not, he can't be worth your time because you're obviously not worth his.
我累了 太累了
他不爱我 才忘了心疼我 我做再多 也无法令他感动
Flirtationship = More than a Friendship, Less then a Relationship.
Sincerely,
xoxo xxx
Friday, November 09, 2012, 4:05 AM
{ 第九天 } 她霸占了在你的心中属于我的角落 & You left with me this anonymous pain! or perhaps 是我们没缘分，还是我们之间的爱不够深？ . . . 自从那天起，你并没有离开过我的心理。 ♥♥♥
Photos bring back memories and memories bring back feelings, and so are songs. Some songs will eventually remind you of some particular people. & those songs, simply remind me of you. I have to admit, those memories we had, still flashing through my mind. The scars you left me, don't seem to be fading away. You make me feel like you really liked me, but then you just left like nothing ever mattered.
I miss you, I really do. Ever since the day you left, I regretted for everything I didn't do to make you stay.
Never regret the moments that once made you smile, because those are the ones you will remember forever. &&
Sometimes the best moments are the ones you didn't plan at all
" 不用等你开口先说我爱你, 在那之前想对你说我愿意
你不必问你也不必等, 这一刻就值得爱到永恒...
想照顾你想守护着你
这一刻只想把你抱紧! "
P/s: November wish, I want you back. xoxo, Iloveyou.
Wednesday, November 07, 2012, 2:33 AM
(T-ara, Don't leave & Lies)
This night is lonely, baby don’t know why
As if a flower petal has fallen, your body grows further away
My reflection in the mirror is like a crazy woman
Trembling as if she’s nervous, the great depth of my sadness makes tears flow
If I hide my tears in the falling rain, can all of our memories be hidden?
If I erase your name that I long for, can all of your face be erased?
My heart in your train, whether it’s ripped, thrown away, hidden or burned
It remains like perfume, I see it like a picture, it’s engraved like a stigma, remember that
don’t wanna cry
The days where you were my world tortures me,
the memories where you were my law pierces me
I can’t let go of the string of fate, I can’t just let you go like this
Though I shout and shout to call you out, I don’t know where you are
.I loved you too much to forget you, I still wait for you
Our time has stopped, it feels like you’re next to me
Don’t leave, don’t leave me, you only gave me scars in my heart Don’t leave, don’t make me cry, come back to me!
.
.
.
Lying that you love me, lying that you miss me
Lying that you are coming back, all that you say are lies
Lying that you will watch out for me, lying that you cant live without me,
Why did you promise all these things if you were going to leave like this.
Baby Don’t Go Away
Why do you hurt me like this, why do you make me sad like this
What should I do, what should I do when you leave.
You are so bad, you are such a bad person, making me cry like this.
Again, my heart aches, I think I’m gonna go crazy.
Please come back, come back to me.
XOXO
, 2:18 AM
(November, Seventh) I miss you, I need a hug, I need your hug & baby, tell me everything is alright now!
I shall update a little bit over here.
Got my hair dyed black! Yes, B-l-a-c-k!
Been so so so many years since I have it in black colour.
Wanna change my lifestyle etc etc, hope my life can get better~
New me, new start.
Am currently not schooling, and so, am not working too.
Shall get my ass to find something that I really wanna do and like.
I need my motivation!
As I grow older each day, things around me seems pretty interesting.
Seems like my life is in a mess now & I have to find my way and fix it soon.
Despite those encounters I met, I have to stay strong.
I have to accept my fate day by day.
XOXO
Virgo & Virgo ♥ The best relationships are the ones you didn't expect to be in, the ones you never even saw it coming!
That day, you make me smile like a total idiot,
as if I'm the most blissful girl in town!
We were just beside each other and we are whatsapping!
Those silly thoughts you had, those love we felt.
You told your friends about me, and so did I.
For once, we both felt the same way at the same time! It's sweetness overload, very much! kcwh's bb. ♥
" it's not about how long both know each other,
it's about that special feelings both have at that same time "
Things getting very much complicated now. The very sudden change, make me cant adapt! In fact, 我是个容易受伤的女人~ Crying is just nothing to me nowadays. * Korean emo songs on the repeat! T-ara's Lies, Haru haru, Don't leave, we were in love & Davichi's Don't say goodbye.*
Seems somehow I can't forget you, after all that we've been through. And even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to. It'll all get better in time.
The one that cares the least, holds more power. I will still wait, ♥
Thursday, October 11, 2012, 11:47 PM
( September 20 ) Once in a lifetime, the key to freedom! #ForeverTwentyOne
Xanthe Chow is officially twenty-one years old now!
*seems like I celebrated it for over a week, hehe ;)*
Had my birthday chalet a few days before my actual.
16 sep - 19 sep @ Aranda Country Club
(extended one more day as my friends wanted it)
I'm glad that my family, friends, sisters & brothers that came
and celebrate this special moments together with me.
I enjoyed myself! :)
& of cos, appreciated all for their presence.
Add caption
me in my leopard prints ;)
*More photos on my facebook ;)*
Till now, somehow I miss those days at the chalet.
All the fun we had, memories.
Thanks for making my 21st sucha wonderful one! ;)
I have wonderful and awesome friends!
Without you all, my life won't be so colourful! *cheers for the friendships*
xoxo
.
.
On my actual day, had it stayed home!
Steamboat dinner and stayover at my place, with daboys&girls.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012, 2:28 AM
( August, 29th ) A blogpost for my ex boyfriend, Joey voon.
*If you happen to saw this, then good for you.
Yes, you are a good guy/boyfriend.
Yes, you treat me like a princess.
You tolerate all my nonsense,
When Im drunk at clubs, you will just come all the way down just to send me home.
Yes, once you enter my life, you totally changed my life.
Yes whatever I wanna eat/craving at those weird timing you would specially deliver it to me at my doorstep even you stayed at Pasir ris and mine at Yiochukang.
Yes never did one guy chase me so long like you, despite many rejections I gave you, you still never give up.
So much hurt i brought to you is I cant let go of my previous bf that I love fucking much.
I'm sorry for that and right from the start I already told you its not easy.
All the things you did for me, I know, even though I didn't say out but I deeply appreciate.
There's sweet and happy moments when we are together, I'm not cold blooded. I can totally feel it!
I hate arguments and endless quarrels, short pain better than long pain I thought.
& you never knew those words you ever told me is so much hurtful to me.
I find it so hard to continue this relationship with you.
Through so much talks we had, you just don't seems to understand.
All these can't get in your mind, not that I don't bother to explain,
is because I had explained too many times till I'm very tired already.
I gave up, on us.
I can't be that girl you thought I can change to.
I failed to be your ideal girlfriend that you wish for and envy others.
Yes, I have to agree I felt so much loner without your companion.
All these, I choose this way. I end my happiness I know I will have.
I gave up being a princess.
I'm sorry, I can't love you the way you love me.
Thank you for all you did for me.
All those sweet messages you sent me, I did screenshots and save it.
Although my replies are cold, but I'm happy when I see all these.
I know this is all bullshit to you,but idgaf.
Just a post for you, someone worth 'remembering'
.
.
.
.
But boy, you being too over too much.
Don't think I don't know whats going on.
What you say or do behind me, I knew.
Just wait one day, I exploded and you shall know what will happen.
To those people, you only knew his part.
You don't know my part of story so stop judging.
He know best himself who's lying who's saying what.
Joey voon, you know what exactly happened
and stop saying things that are untrue!
You know its best, yourself!
You can continue bitch about me to your good friends.
I know I'm fat, and never once I say myself slim.
You are not handsome, never did I say anything, but you are being a bastard now!
If you think they are good? Ask them to be your girlfriend then.
Go ahead and bitch about your ex girlfriend.
If you are happy when you say all these then good for you.
Whatever you do, karma is waiting.
Like you say I will have my karma for hurting you,
and so are you.
'Take care'
Tuesday, August 28, 2012, 11:38 PM
♥♥ Real Eyes Realise Real Lies.
" Relationship is not always finding the perfect companion who suits each other perfectly.
Sometimes its about finding the one who is willing to put in the effort trying to change his/her character and habits together with you. "
.
.
.
* To that particular 'young' girl!
You have no rights to comment on the guy i like now is ugly or what,
its the feelings that say all!
You stupid or what?
You never seen me before & you don't even know me, why judge?
Just that you heard of me before, doesn't mean you know me.
You even comment on how I look like etc, awesome much.
You aren't perfect and flawless ley girl.
So I see you stalking me? haha, joke.
You jelly my ex boyfriend treat me so nice? Ask him be your boyfriend lor.
So watch what you are saying, 'young' girl!
We shall see, kthxbye.
Monday, August 27, 2012, 12:43 AM
( August, 27th )
What is love?
In math, it's a problem;
in history, a battle;
in science, it's a reaction;
in art, it's a heart;
but to me?
Love is you.
The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.
I totally agree to this sentence. It happen to me, yes now! :(
# lenad silliwI try to not fall, not! But failed.
Somehow deeper uh, le sigh.
ri jiu sheng qing, this is it.
Dont ask me why, I also dont know why. Just like that lor. I also cant rmb eversince when :(
I might hug other guys, I might laugh with other guys and I might text other guys,
but none of them will ever mean as much to me as you do.
Ignore all their texts and just focus on only yours.
What hurts the most, is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away.
Blame myself, for dropping too fast.
But, it aren't the same compared to others.
Would you notice or care if i just disappeared?
& I wonder if i ever crossed your mind?
Because for me, it happens all the time.
Sighs.
你要的不是我
xoxo, xanthexanderella. ♥
Tuesday, August 21, 2012, 1:27 AM
( Twenty One, August ) You took your time with the call, I took no time with the fall. You gave me nothing at all. But still, you're in my way.
I'll be your shelter, I'll be your storm, I'll make you shiver, I'll keep you warm.
Whatever weather. Baby, I will be your everything.
If only I can call you mine, I want you all to myself right now.
I try my best not to want you but I still do, all the time.
Boy, you let me fall, fall deeper and deeper.
Le sighs.
If you never intented to catch me, then why did you let me fall?
I won't I thought, I never expect us to be like this, like now.
Never thought one day we would be this close,
a step more than friends yet a step less than lovers.
Perhaps its me who think more when in fact its not what I thought.
So I should just control and stop myself from falling.
Tuesday, January 07, 2014, 2:40 PM
