Humbled (1)

Pheww... what a night.... what a fantastic new year's eve.. I remembered it was a few days ago while i was hanging out with friends, i received a call from Lt Hu asking if i am interested in performing in an orchestra in the upcoming 'Joy of Music' concert organized by Huai Ang Methodist Church for fund-raising. And that performance fall squarely on new year's eve. Due to the fact that i had never perform in an orchestra before, i agreed, out of excitement and perhaps a mixture of curiosity.

It was a tiring night but i got to know more new friends... muahaha...

Josiah, me, Wen Son and Sing Kwong

Don't know his name but took a photo with him for fun, 'cause he is just so adorable =)

Isn't he just cute ? *amazed by his music talent*

Josiah, Lt Hu and me

All in all, it was a great night, although there were some mild bloopers in the performance. I ran out of breath half way in Beethoven Symphony No.9 and blew air instead *shudders*. The response from the public was overwhelming that we the performers are not given a seat but were ushered into the Chapel where we were provided with a television broadcasting the other performances live ! How cool is that !?

Us watching from the Chapel beneath the Sanctuary

Tonight's performance wasn't as good as i hoped for but it was satisfying enough. When i first came to the practice, i was constantly reprimanded by the lead conductor for my lack of timing and fingers agility. The orchestra practised hard for this performance, day and night for 3 days in a row. It was tiring and totally taking up most of our time but all of us knew what was at stake.

Took some photos during the rehearsal for the concert,

The Angels Choir

Adults Choir

Little sheeps performing in a musical

But the thing that truly got me interested was the performance depicted in the following photo. I am at awe at these bunch of people playing You Raise Me Up and Majesty by just using an instrument made out from bamboo ! I have never seen anything with the likes of it.. Truly awesome !

Aren't they just magnificent ?

Solo Cellist

All in all, the performance was a success because everyone pitched in their part and did their best.
For the first time, i performed in an orchestra together with string instruments. It was truly an eye-opener. Although it is the first, but i hope it is not the last.

I apologize to Lt Hu for perhaps not playing up to expectation. For someone who has been playing trumpet for such a long time, my timing should have been better. But i pray that through this exposure, i can identify my weakness and improve myself.

Truly, i believe and i intend to see myself with marked improvement in 2010, a brand new year.


Before i sign off, i would like to take this opportunity to wish all my friends a blessed and bountiful new year. God bless you all !

Time Travel

Awesome night out ! *grins at Mr Arthur* I attended a Christmas party at my teacher's house afew hours ago... it was fun catching up with my friends, Melissa and Hee Kiing after not seeing each other for quite some time. And i HAVE, NEVER, EVER seen such an elaborated Christmas dinner.. haha.. Mr Arthur, you sure do know how to throw a party. My gratitude to you for inviting me over, i appreciate it very much !

The VERY ELABORATED dinner *me likey like*

Hee Kiing, Melissa and Yours truly !

The time spent tonight was indeed worth every minute of it. I had the pleasure of dining with Mr Arthur's household and friends, and equally important, i got to catch up with two of my old friends. Hee Kiing is studying Dentistry in Melbourne while Melissa will be going to New Zealand to study TESL ( Teaching English As Second Language ), meaning we won't be seeing each other soon and for quite some time. So i really do appreciate every moment tonight spent with them together.

Time spent together.... that got me thinking again into my past...

I had spent a good 5 and half long years in the Boys' Brigade. I had dedicated a good portion of my time, my energy, patience into it. Lots of sacrifice had been done. Lots of tears had flowed. Lots of time had been spent. I had quarreled with my friends, rejected invitations for greater opportunities, put down a lot of dreams and ambitions for the Boys' Brigade. At times when trials and tribulations overwhelm me, i always had this question surfacing in my mind...

Is it worth it all ?

I had just attended the Music Camp which was held in the Methodist Centennial Park. I enjoyed every moment and every second of it. Not because i was learning new things, but because i was spending quality time with my Boys. I remember the last day *a much due apology to WO Lau* i switched room and slept with my Boys in the same room. We did debriefings and then we chatted till 1.30 a.m. in the morning. As we went to bed, i stayed up and watched one of my Boys sleeping beside me and i just feel this sense of tranquility and peace and i started to understand what love and care, is all about.

As i just laid there resting on the floor, and i gazed upon their faces, i just feel that, every blood, every sweat, every sacrifice i have poured in for them is worth every moment of it, if only i can just see them grow up and be happy.

At times i feel tired or exhausted, all i need to do is to look at the photos which portrayed their smile and the time we spent, and i will feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the next challenge. Everytime when i feel dejected, disappointed or heavily burdened, all i have to do is to think about and reminiscing the time we had spent together and i will feel that everything, everything in this world is beautiful after all.

They bring laughter, joy and peace to my heart and the
i will not trade every moment i spent with them
for the world.

Though it pains me knowing that i have to leave again, but i know, that the pain of having loved once and leave will always beat the suffering of not having love at all.

People normally never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes, it is important to leave, so that they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is. And i guess, all of them, they all meant something special to me all along =)

They all meant different things to me, but
they hold a special place in my heart

Now i as i am about to leave again, and knowing i will only see them again in June, the feeling of excruciating sadness and yearning overwhelms me once again, but knowing what lays ahead in my life and thinking about all the time spent with them, all the things taught and the smiles i received in return.....

The world isn't such a bad place after all ^^

P.S. I just want to tell my Boys that i am so very proud of each one of you and i am thankful for having the chance to stepping into your life. If i have to sacrifice anything for all of you, i would gladly do so. You guys meant so much to me, more than you'll ever know and i love all of you, very much

Parting Words

To Nicky, my dearest friend :

I hope you have had an interesting and meaningful experience in the Music Camp. I would like to extend my warmest appreciation and gratitude to you for joining the music camp although i know you are tired and needed rest. I had such wonderful fellowship with you as well as with other Boys of which i am truly thankful for. It has been an enjoyable experience, one of which i will treasure and cherish deeply in my heart.

I know i won't be seeing you again after the last day of music camp and i know i will definitely miss you. So before i part, i just want to share a few things that has been on my mind about you contemplating whether you have chosen the wrong path in life and perhaps making wrong decisions.

Nicky you've been brave. You've sacrificed a lot, your time, your energy and you dedicate them all into Boys' Brigade and i am so proud of you. At times, when we sacrificed a lot for others but we get so little back in return, no doubt we may feel doubtful or dejected or even disappointed. But i want you to always remember this, the thing about sacrifices is, it doesn't mean you're losing things that matters to you most, you are just merely passing it on. The sacrifices you made for Boys' Brigade, the pain felt, the tears shed, the work toiled, all of them, though it brings so little to you, but you've been a blessing to so many people, especially to me. One day when Judgment Day arrive, and you stood before the Pearly Gates, God will not ask how much you have, but how much you gave, to the Boys and to the society and i know you will not fail Him.

Though you may not experience immediately success, be at peace knowing that you have been a blessing to those whose life you have touched

Do not feel that you don't deserve our love and care or that you're troubling us with all your problems. Christ died for us while we were yet sinners and with that we are united in him as a family. And brothers, help one another to grow in Spirit and in Truth. I never did regret helping you or listening to your burdens. Even if i have to do it a dozen times, i am still willing to do so. You're like a brother to me, and i love you very much. And at times, when you unload your burden and i am not giving you any advices, it's not that i give up on you or i am tired of listening. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advices, solutions, or cures have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair and confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. Sometimes it is inevitable that we be hurt. Sometimes our hearts ache. Sometimes we cry out in pain. Reasons might not make sense during periods of intense pain and suffering, and yet, when given time and compassion, the sorrow would somehow lessen the intensity. And hope with me listening, the healing will start. I would like nothing more than to see you smile again. That's all i need and that's all i want.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change our memory of our past into a hope for our future
- Lewis Smedes

I hope i can see you in February when i come back and i will definitely be back in May till July. I hope that our friendship will never come to an end. And even if it should come to this and that i be left a a dusty corner of your memory, i will never, ever regret helping you in life. I am just thankful for having the opportunity of having the chance of being your friend and come in contact with such an inspiring person such as yourself. Though i may not always be with you, but i just want you to know you've been a very special person to me. Look at the stars if you're free, though at times when it is dark, you cannot see any stars, but you know deeply in your heart that they are forever up there, watching over you.

Thought i may not be there beside you, but know this that i will hold your hands every step of the way

So God bless you and hope we can meet again in the near future.

And remember, no matter how many mistakes you have done, how many failures you committed, i will never be disappointed in you and nothing will change my perception of you. I want you to learn that it is okay to fall down. But, it is more important to know when to get up and get back into the fight in life. I want you to understand how vital it is to move on forward in life and not be trapped in a self woven cocoon of guilt and past failures.

You are my faithful friend, my dedicated colleague and more importantly, you are my brother and i love you very, very much. So God bless you and may you find a new year and new miracles, hopes and aspirations in your life.

Torment (2)

Continuation of the post Torment(1)

I was thinking along the line, "If i am willing to compromise my principles right now, what's there to stop me to compromise in future ? What's there to stop me from shunning away from challenges ?"

Feeling a bit confused and depressed, i turned to one of my favorite book for inspiration and consolation "Dare To Fail" by Billi Lim

I came across a phrase by Abe ( Abraham Lincoln ) which started me thinking and with that, healing.

The most important principle of principles is to be flexible in
your principles

This sentence got me thinking....

Even in the best-laid plan, there are bound to be unforeseen circumstances that will require you to bend. Question is, will you bend left or will you bend right or will you simply break away into smithereens ? That is up to all of us to choose. Flexibility is important when dealing with life. In this 21st Century, we're constantly under change in this fluid environment. If we want to survive and grow, it's all about being flexible, and avoiding choices whenever possible. Choices suck, they are inherently limiting. But the limitations they bring about can be reduced if we exercise flexibility.

Sometimes, choices brings us to a mountain and in order to scale that mountain to attain greater heights, we have to let go off some weights. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. It's in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.

We need to let go, for the betterment of all

Sure, letting go of certain things may cause you to lose what you may have gain by staying put. Yeah, letting go may mean letting the time, the effort, the pain you have gone through be put to waste. But if the sacrifices is required, then letting go, is the best choice available.

I've often discussed with Su Zhao ( one of my friend ) about principles and values and often seek advices from him and his opinions for i look upon them highly. He, too, gave me a similar lecture about principles. More importantly, he stimulated me to think about the future.

He told me once, "If the principles that you follow so strictly is going to cost you your future and cause your downfall, what's the use of your principles in your life ( rephrased ) ?

I have to say...i agree with him.

For Joseph Campbell, letting go of the life we have planned willingly, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us is one of the rules of life.

For me, now, i believe that letting go means taking a step back momentarily in order to be alive long enough to fight in another day =)

Staying alive to fight in another day

After thinking all these through and reaching enlightenment, i feel so much alive and zestful once again. The ethical dilemma has been cleared. The burden has been lifted. The pain has been shed.

From its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is, in the end, still a beautiful world =)

My decision has been made, though unknown into the future i peer, i intend to see it through.

------------------------Appreciation to my Friends----------------------

By alphabetical order :

Gordon : For telling me since time immemorial to cut the roots of the problems while i still can and shedding the unnecessary for a greater good in future and also for his advices and willingness to lend me all the materials i need.

Julius Tan : For his invaluable views and sought after opinions about a life of a student who opt for tri-sci which contributes a lot to shaping this decision

Jenny Chow : For her patience and suggestions on how to tackle Physics and also on this issue

Kai Ming : For hearing my frustrations and ideas out coolly and advising me to stand firmly in whatever decisions that i have made regardless of what others may think.

Lawrence Gerald : For his undue patience and suggestions given as well as opinions on me letting go ( thought he's against it )

Su Zhao : For hearing me out, telling me about his life and giving comparisons, as well as stimulating me to think through the intellectual conversations we had and also for him spending time to listen what i have to tell.

Zi Hong : For his iron patience as i unwind my burdens upon him and for giving his much appreciated opinions on this issue as well as offering for help.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." - Albert Schweitzer

Torment (1)

After going through everything, i am still not quite convince with my previous decision. Call me lack of confidence if you may, but after weighing certain options and trying to imagine all kinds of scenarios that may crop up due to The Decision, i am starting to see certain flaws, constrictions as well as certain limitations should i proceed on with it.

I realize i am not as capable as i can, hence, rooms for limitations
should be taken into account of my decision

After talking through with some of my friends, i've done some adjustments to The Decision.

Decision making, nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. Strange. As hard as decision making is, no trumpet will sound when you make an important decision. I guess destiny will unfold silently because of it.

This Decision was hard for me to make. I know some of my friends they don't quite approve with what i think. Too often the response i get is, why make a mountain out of a mole hill. Perhaps i am, i don't know. But i feel it is hard because i am letting go of something and that something is more essential than the decision itself.

I am compromising my principles

The Decision was about letting of something that had been tormenting me for six long months, causing me excruciating pain and heartaches. I've vowed that i will NEVER, EVER be defeated by it nor will i give up while there's still breath in me. But now, after seeing as far as i could, i realize letting it go is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.


Problem is:

Am i compromising my own principles, my values and my belief ?

Not many people truly understand why i am adhering to my principles so strongly. For me, i always believe that values shape principles; and actions are shaped by your principles. In short, for me, principles are not just rules in life; they are what defines you as a person and what determines your actions in life, be it for good or bad.

The phrase, "Defeat may test you; but it need not stop you. Nothing in the world can take place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up." has always been my principle and something i fought hard and believe in. Compromise is never anything but an ignoble truce between the duty of a man and terror of a coward. Anybody who accepts defeats -- in school, on the job, in life -- is a person who compromises, and when the leader compromises, the whole organization compromises.

So after six months worth of fighting, battling, climbing and sweating, am i ready to give up ? Am i ready to give in ? Am i ready.......... to compromise ?

I thought i had it all figure out.... i thought i had it all....

Apparently not.

It's time, i think, i to find a new definition to define myself.

Coaching For Life

Pheww... Sarawak ANTS ( Advanced Non-Commissioned Officers Training School ) 2009 is finally over ! After 4 days and 3 nights of intensive training, it's about time too !

Group Photo of the ANTS Participants

This is, so far, the fourth ANTS i've been to since the revised version started in 2006 in Miri. Now it may seem strange to some, but i keep on attending ANTS and God willing, next year too ( in Sibu ). in ANTS, the participants are taught modules like Ethical Decision Making, Conflict Management, Value Centered Leadership and so on. But, those ain't the reason why i keep going to ANTS. I enjoy attending ANTS because in my opinion, this training course is like an onion. You peel it layer by layer, and with each layer peeled, you realized and learn something new. Beyond that layer, there are OTHER layers to be peeled off, tempting those who are hungering for more knowledge.

I joined ANTS in 2006 and 2007 as a Learner, 2008 as a helper and this year, i attended the ANTS & BNTS Coaches clinic.

Ah yes... coaching, an important element in the entire training course. I'm fortunate enough to meet a lot of coaches of caliber and learn from their life experiences.

Captain David Wong, the very dedicated coach who coached me
in ANTS 2006, BNTS 2007 and Coaches Clinic 2009

Lt Desmond, one of the in-between session coaches

ANTS 2009 got me contemplating on this coaching issue.

Anyone can be a coach. Coaching is not exclusive domain for people managers. While few of us will ever serve as full-time coaches, we are all expected to be full-time coaches. Even if we have never served in this role, we have been coaching unknowingly for all our life. In short, we are coaches of sorts to others unintentionally. ~ ANTS Coaches' Guide

I like what Captain David ( trainer for the Coaches' Clinic 2009 ) said; he shared with us. Coaching is pretty much like a football coach. While coaches are the ones coaching a football team, he himself is not involved in the match itself. Coaching is not about yourself, it's about sharing your story as a reference for others to write their own life's stories. Coaching, it is not about managing results through number but all about knowing the potential and how to maximize it through the ongoing coaching towards the desired performance.

Coaches Clinic 2009

As Tom Laundry so rightly put, 'A coach reminds you of who you are, even when you forget."

Coaches have to watch for what they don't want to see and listen to what they don't want to hear. A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. At times, coaches have to sacrifice themselves in order to illuminate their players and provides a sturdy shoulders to stand on so one can see further than they might see on their own.

I'm really amazed with these coaches. Although they are not young anymore, but they are still willing to go through all sorts of difficulties to ensure a brighter future for the younger generation. For the 4 days, all of the coaches slept at around 1 in the morning and woke up the next day at around 6 to prepare themselvesfor a full day of coaching. Sometimes, they had to wait for 1 hour just for lunch because the learners could not execute the lunch procedure well. They had to take leave from their work, spend a full weekend of sufferings away from their families and children, go back on Sunday tired and start working again on Monday. And the worst thing is, they need to pay for this kind of life.

But you know what, they are willing to do all those because of their passion and their love for theBoys. Coaching is truly a profession of love. You can't coach people unless you love them. And for that, i am truly duly impressed.

This Coach Certificate has marked another milestone in my life. Hopefully with it, i can start my journey as a coach, training one of the youngest and brightest minds to success in life next year starting from BNTS and slowly work my way up the hierarchy.

Coaching, like leadership, is fighting for the hearts and souls of men and getting them to believe in you. And the test of a good coach is that when they leave, others below them will carry on successfully.

Others below them will carry on

And that's exactly what i plan to do.

P.S. Photos Courtesy of LT Boney Wong

ANTS & BNTS Photos

Part I - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10362&id=100000178066907
Part II-http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10416&id=100000178066907

Gift of Gab

*Don't really feel like writing a heavy post today especially during the pre-ANTS period. I am sure after ANTS i will have a lot of heavy posts on the blog*

People who THINK they knows me, thinks i am a good speaker and a good communicator.

People who ACTUALLY knows me ( though a few ) knows i do not like to talk a lot. Don't know since when i started changing, but i prefer listening and observing to talking now.

Talking and communicating is still one of the many weaknesses i am trying to work on.

I'm working on my verbal skills

Now don't get me wrong, i am not talking about my presentation skills *though it still needs some polishing and fine-tuning*. No. I'm talking more about socializing. The part where we see friends and start talking about anything under the sun. I suck big time when it comes to that part.

I remembered what my German language lecturer used to joke. She said,

"Ein Mann ein Wort, eine Frau ein Worterbuch"
( One man one word, one woman one whole dictionary )

Wish i have 10% of the latter's characteristics LOL

It's true when i said i don't like to talk much. My friends and i, we've been hanging out in Sunway for a few times.

That's my groupies
*Gosh, it's been like only a week and i'm missing them so much*

When we hung out there, i always like to look and observe and i very rarely talk about any stuff. I don't know why. I just don't feel like talking because i can't think of anything i can comment or talk on.

You know sometimes when you sit in the kopitiam ( coffee shops ) and hear people talking about virtually anything to their pals ? Well i just can't. That's why i really envy my friends who are able to start a very engaging conversation. Me ? Nah... i'm the listener, rarely the person who talks and contribute points. I love listening. You won't believe what people tells nowadays or let slip ^^

But i think i can communicate relatively well through online messaging services ( read, MSN messenger ) or using SMSes. Those i can handle, i can actually talk non-stop there; but if you ask me to meet you up, my mind will go all blank and i will struggle with even one phrase. Ahh.. just one of the 'unexplainables' of life.

I remembered my officer used to tell me,

"There are people who have strong verbal skills and can communicate well. Meanwhile, there are also others who are more of a literal/writer type who is more expressive using words than mouth. I guess you're the latter type."

I'm more expressive with words

Another 'unexplain-ables' is, if you ask me to talk about casual stuff like 'howd'ya doing' or stuff like that, i'd give you a blank stare. But, but, if you ask me to give opinions and facts, i can talk non-stop and ideas will keep flowing out. No idea why though...

Kinda ironic. Things that you need to think ( opinions, arguments and stuff ) i can give it spontaneously; Casual chat ( about the weather ? ) i would have to think for a few seconds. Weird huh ?

Guess God distributes gifts differently to all people and yeah, i guess He works in mysterious ways LOL *smirks :)*


Now would anyone like to have a casual chat with me ? =P

Point of No Return

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I doubted if I should ever come back

Yesterday night, i made a decision.

This morning 9.15 a.m., with one phone call, i sealed the pact.

I am through thinking. I am done with the contemplations. With a blind leap of faith, i have now stepped into uncharted waters, all alone.

I have no idea what is the outcome of this decision, for the better or for the worse. I've weighed my options, i've arranged strategies to counter all the problems that may arise because of this ONE single decision, but is it enough ? =(

This decision has the potential to rock the very foundation i am in right now. Sacrifices will be made, tears will be shed, and for the first time for a very long time, i am scared. This decision will expose me to a lot of unforeseen problems, despite my effort to "look down one as far as I could, to where it bent in the undergrowth". I am now more vulnerable than before, i need my friends, more than ever.

It is just i and i alone against the world

But still, despite its terrifying consequences, i see it not a luxury but a necessity for my future, for the greater good. It is, and has been part of the big picture of life, MY life. *Sigh*

No use pondering on it now, i've sealed the pact, i have done the deal. Whether or not this decision will bring harm or good, the responsibility of this decision lies in me and me alone and i alone shall walk down this road.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. I'm on my own. And i know what i gotta do. Because i am the one who'll decide where i am to go in life, for the better or for the worse.

This is truly the point of no return, for the better of for the worse. And i am scared.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

~adapted from The Road Not Taken

I hope i have made the right decision.

P.S. Thank you Ah Hwa for your constant support and for providing me with informations. I am lucky to have a good friend like you. =D

掌聲響起來

Last Friday, after Biology examination, i tagged along with Hong's roomies to Sunway ( too bad Ming didn't go as he was busy packing *hiss at him how could you... =(* )...

Bernard Poh, Hong and Chia Soon

Bernard on DDR
( I think it is called the Dance..er... something -.- )

Karaok-ing

*No frigging idea what Dicky was doing at that time...*

From what i gathered, Biology examination was hard as hell and everyone was frustrated and just wanting to vent out their emotion by screaming, shouting and for that matters, singing i guess. Saw Hong ( and Hiew ) was not really in good mood and was a bit sadden by it. I guess Biology, like Physics is one of the harbingers of frustrations, disappointments and tears. *Sigh*

Downloaded and Edited from YouTube
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd41SAVnZOs&NR=1)

I like song, especially the second stanza of the song, it goes like this :

.....想起初的舞台 Remembering the first time i stood on stage,

聽到掌聲喝采 Hearing the applause,
我的眼略ㄕ穜慾來 I couldn't help shedding my tears,
經過多少失敗 After being through so many failures,
經過多少等待 After waiting endlessly for so long,
告訴自己要忍耐.... I kept on telling myself to bear on

I remembered once after my Form 4 mid term exam, my friend was bragging on how easy the Chemistry paper was and how he was going to get the top marks of the class ( He is smart, i won't disagree on that ). He kept on self-praising for like 10 minutes before i got so annoyed and said to him face on :

"XXX, mark my words, i'm going to beat you in every upcoming Chemistry exams and tests and i'm screw you up and sideways in Chemistry and MAKE you choke on your frigging words !*" *That's HOW ANNOYED i was -.- *

Life went on after that. So, i didn't beat him in every single test. So, i didn't exactly screw him up that badly, but i did, however, gave him a scare and he did not brag anymore ( just for the next few weeks anyway ) because i won't take shit ( pardon my language, couldn't find a more suitable word ) from him anymore. In short, i fought back. I may not have won the battle, but i had pitch in everything i got. Strangely, the thought of my promise to him serves as a motivation for me to perform better in each Chemistry test.

I fought back. Though i may not have won, i fought back,
and that to me, amounts for everything

My friends ( Physics and Biology students alike ),

All of us had worked hard for our end of semester examination. The hours we spent in our revision; the fear, the tension, the frustration we encountered during the examination period; the tears and sweat we shed for our studies were endless, and priceless. We've all put in our best effort and fought a long battle especially during the examination period. We stood tall, assured one another and faced each day in confidence, courage and a strong belief that :

"At the end of the day, we will come out victoriously from the examination hall and emerge triumphant over the day."

We soared high and fought bravely head on with our examination
against all odds

However, reality is, as hard as we fought, the outcome may not always be what we want. We may not always win every single time We may not always succeed in everything. But you know what, SCREW THAT.

It wasn't because of lack of trying that we fail; there may be a lot of factors involve. Bottom line is, as long as we throw in everything we got, we should be content and leave the rest to God, whoever you conceive Him to be. God makes three request of His children : Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have and somehow, i think that will suffice. As long as did our best, there should be no regrets.

There shall be, no regrets

I'm not telling you not to be sad because you did not perform up to your expectations and i would again stress it's not because of lack of trying. By all means, be sad, but after that we have to pick ourselves and start moving again in life, aspiring to make a come-back and fight back, stronger and wiser than before !

I know i did badly in my Physics, i am DEPRESSED about it, no denials there. But one thing set me apart from being a failure in Physics, i'm going to work harder than before, fight and screw those who laugh at me for my Physics. Mark my words. I'm a man of my words and what i say, i commit and do. After this Physics examination, i KNOW now what to expect from future examination. I KNOW now how the questions are formulated and how to tackle them. I KNOW now my mistakes and the strategies i need to arrange to counter my weaknesses. See how much we can gain from one bad experience ? Although the second semester will be harder, i sincerely believe what we gain from this compensates for the advancement in level.

Failing is not the end. In fact, failures are not failures if we learn from them, they transform into something we call 'experience' and i've just gained mine.

I like what Charles De Lint said,

"When all's said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road you take, as how you take it."

Handling life's difficulties and setbacks by learning from them is an important part of pursuing one's life's vision

So cheer up, let us learn from this EXPERIENCE and strive harder than ever to make a strike back against Biology and Physics in the next semester and prove to the lecturers and to the world that WE CAN AND WE WILL FIGHT BACK AGAINST ALL ODDS, AGAINST ALL THINGS. We will not give up =)

So smile friends, tomorrow will be a brand new start, a brand new day. It's, after being through everything, stilll going to be a beautiful day.

A renewed life, a brand new day

And perhaps one day, after bearing failure and waiting for so long, we'll stand tall and gain a standing ovation from others for playing our role well in a sketch called "Life" XD

P.S. : This post is dedicated to all INTEC A Level Biology and Physics students, especially for AL10M13 students, and specifically Hong and Ming as well as myself to remind me of this quote by Norman Pearle

"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have."