ACE 5

XVI.

I texted him I want to try bondage.

In hindsight, the setting was poor. We only have a very small window of time, about two hours, to fuck. If it's just a basic fuck, there's ample time, but bondage with the blindfold and all that for the first time would require a lot of time. At least I was wearing my jockstrap at that time. Black with laces on the front.

After I entered the front door, I was ordered to kneel and wait orders.

A blindfold was slipped to me and my wrists were bound in front of me.

I was commanded to crawl to the bedroom. I crawled.

I was commanded to hop on to the bed and I did. I sucked him off for a while.

Then I was commanded to the edge of the bed and I did.

Then he slid himself in and told me to fuck myself. I was on my toes and my ankles tied, with my ass up, and face full of bed sheets. The pain and pleasure of going deep because of my fault balance is overwhelming.

There was a lot of resistance in my part. I was really humiliated and the verbal abuse was not really turning me on, probably triggering some trauma from the past. It was awful.

"I want to piss SIR." I was pissed and I really want to fight back, but you cant do that with a blindfold.

I was blindfolded, so there was no need to turn on the lights in the bathroom. I sat down to piss. Then that flashing white light blinked at me again. I know he was taking pictures from the start.

When I got back on the bed, he fucked me on my stomach with my hands tied. My ankles were far apart now, and he was getting in there deeper. He then stopped and flipped me over.

He told me he wont cum inside until I cum. It was difficult to concentrate, but I managed to. He told me to flip back.

He used the cum as lube and bred me. It felt different than spit and lube. More abrasive.

 As much as my fantasy was arousing, reality said otherwise. Later, he'd tell me I have "trouble with control." I'd also learn I'm not into verbal.

The pictures were sent to Security. Me in my jockstrap. Me sucking him. Me being fucked from behind. Me on the toilet and pissing. My ass glazed with cum after fucking me. Security liked them.

"God I'm fat," I said.

"No you're not." He's right.


XVII.

He was in a phone call about someone's accounts or something like that.

He seems to be talking with a client.

A woman from the sound of it.

Something about an event.

Receipts were needed and some other document(s).

I gave up trying to listen. It's none of my business.

I meet his hips to my face. That's my fucking business.

My business is opening my mouth wider while he fucks my face and answers this business call.


XIX.

I gave him a watercolor painting (one of the best), and a Ray Bradbury ("that was weird," he said). He gave me Aloha shirts, regular t-shirts, sport shirts, some underwear, and four Handjob Magazines from a stash under his bed.

Sunlit

Logistics suggested that the best time to fuck would only happen if I didn't attend that class.

There were no objections so I went and did it. I apologized to the professor and I asked something about the coming exam and some points from the homework. I wish I could tell you that I let him fuck my face, but in due time.

I met Security in a mall halfway to his apartment and he drove the rest of the way. We talked about stuff and there was the sleight of hand to my thigh. I like it when that happens.

Security is the first person I've actively campaigned to Ace in having a threesome with. So they know about each other and sees no problems with regularly fucking me separately or all together. Security asked if Ace was jealous or something to that effect. I told him no, he's completely fine with it. He knows.

I finally got to see his apartment. Bare, spacious, and nondescript. White walls, cream carpets, and stucco white ceiling. There's a large screen TV, a large cream sofa, and a small shelf with a picture of him and his roommate/ex mid-drop from a roller-coaster with the frame that might have come from the same amusement park they went to.

On the way to the bedroom which they currently share 'cause of some repairs, is a large floor to ceiling painting divided into nine rectangles. A bird in mid flight. It seemed that the personality of the whole house was concentrated in this painting and nowhere else.

The bedroom was almost the same. Bed, TV, two art prints, on way to the bathroom (no door*), and then a TV. There's a box of 90s porn in the veranda.

On my suggestion, we showered together. We made out under the spray and soaped our bodies. touched each other until were hard.

We got dried and went to the bedroom. Since were almost the same size and his dick is about the same size as mine, he entered easily while I was on my back. It felt nice.

Security is a bit tame except for those moments of excitement (with my suggestions) and the enthusiasm that he brings in is contagious. So I was glad I suggested the pictures and veranda.

He took some pictures of him inside, halfway inside, and only head inside. The flash was on so you can see his cock glazed and glistening with juices and we sent them to Ace.

Then the veranda. Lined by concrete and that went up to our chests.

We walked past the sliding doors and I can see the whole view of the city from about thirty stories high. Later, I'd actually realize how clearly visible we are to people below. There were also neighboring apartment buildings, so it was really easy to spot naked men fucking.

We got a rhythm, great sunlight, and a view for a few minutes until it got really cold from the breeze and we went back to bed and end the day with him and me in various positions: on my back, side, with my ass hanging from the edge of the bed, and cumming inside. We were in the middle of the bed soiled with lube and/or whatever, and he fingered me while I stroked myself to climax.

It was great that he lasted that long. We were both spent.

I asked earlier if he should've put a towel or something.

He said, "Do you think I care?"

Is the lube machine washable? Was one of my thoughts.

ACE 4

Changes are happening and I feel fucking off. Before I go spiraling into the deep, I manage to catch myself and lift myself up into the light. I get a hold of my doubts and just throw caution to the wind. I have to say I'm doing well compared to me a few years back.

--

XI.

If you're my top at the moment, and you're looking into my eyes at the millisecond of penetration, you might say the same thing Atlas has said. He said that I have this combination of fear and want in my eyes. He likes it.

The initial pain always gets to me. Was it because of that experience or does it go deeper into childhood? The cause does not really matter, and I'm getting better at acceptance. (Pun intended.) Relaxing the body, especially the shoulders and the hole, as one enters is a conscious effort.


In most times with Old Guard, especially when I'm tied down, I close my eyes and it helps (it heightens the other senses). During my time with Ace, fucking mostly happens in the spooning position which also helps.


XII.

I never knew how to consciously get out from the deep.
Series of life events made me avoid a certain point en route to my house. A lady, I imagined from the volume of the flowers by the post, killed herself. Maybe it was just a car accident where a lady was involved.

I played the imagined scenario in my head. It scared me to feel the zero gravity.
I told Ace about the stuff.

All I can remember was a very long hug. I clung to the fabric of his t-shirt, and inhaled really deep.

The fuck was very soft. Very gentle.

The usual spooning position. He had his arm around my neck, the other crossing my chest. Rather than pressing on to my throat, the arm was just there. Solid.

I held on to his arm and kissed it.


XIV.

We had coffee together and hang out by the beach. Almost sunset.

I told him that I was feeling insecure, lost, and not satisfied with there I am.

He recommended that I work on my goals.

Straddling the bench beside me, he put his left hand under my jeans in the front and the right hand on the other side.

As he played with the ring, prodding it, and rubbing my cock I tried not to make a sound.

I told him I want to give him a blowjob in the public restroom a few feet away. I didn't push so it didn't happen.


XV.

Recently, I texted him that the daddy he told me about wont be back from a business trip until several weeks or so.

Z: I'm writing daddy a note though. LOL
A: Nice
Z: Old Guard taught me patience.If it takes Month, I'm going to wait till Month for my Daddy. LOL.
A: Damn who r u and where's my boy?
Z: Your boy's grown up daddy. (But I'm still your boy. Lol)
A: LOL

--

Thank You. 

Challenge Accepted

As of posting, I'm in the middle of being chaste till I meet with Old Guard. This would be the longest period of not jacking off; a week and a few days. This would be easier if there was a chastity device preventing me to even touch my cock (I leak a lot), but when you're not jacking off for someone it's a little easier. In addition, there are also tons of distractions from jacking off like work, projects, friends, and family. (Except the fucking dog whose licking all over the fucking place.)

After seeing Old Guard, I have at least a day and a half to jack off like a gym rat on a cheat day. One porn after another (I try to cum after the seven minute mark) in a quiet space where I can't be disturbed, licking my fingers of the evidence. When we schedule the next meeting, I tell him that I wont be jacking off until then. Fucking genius.

Reminding myself of this predicament, I remember jacking off in the school bus; I was the last kid to get out and all I need to do was to open the fly of my school uniform shorts (sexy amirite?), and later on slacks pants, and rub my cock through my white briefs until I explode. It was easy, all I need to do was look normal from the chest up and leave the cum on my briefs till I go home.

I can lie about being chaste and since I can do multiple orgasms alone (Seven within approx 24 hours) and with someone (Old Guard: four, two of which are dry, within approx 32 hours), I need to make sure not to jack off 5-6hours before I get to his place. But like any overachieving asshole, I'm into games and challenges. Also, I actually believe in the value and integrity of my word, and when I say, "I will not cum," I will not fucking cum. I don't know why I make it harder on myself.

Exhibit A: On one of our first tries for a missionary position, Ace's 7" would really hurt me. Sometimes, I make his job harder by not telling him and taking it like a trooper. He'd notice though and we'd go back to spooning.

"I was just seeing if I can go further," I reasoned as we cuddled.

"uhuh," he replied. His cock still inside me.

Exhibit B: I borrow a dozen library books all at once. I also try to read two at a time.

Exhibit C: I actually fainted during a workout. (2)

This adventurous spirit probably came from a past so restrained in all material and non-material ways (most where my fault), that one day I just said, "fuck it, let's let loose."

However, in some twisted paradox, I come to love the restraint Old Guard provides.

At one time, we started to drift off to sleep and it's the most comfy and horny state I've been in. My wrists and ankles are cuffed together with soft black leather, and he's spooning behind me, hands all over my body. My shallow breaths and mewls were interrupted by an occasional smack on my ass or stomach. He told me I was hard all night.

Maybe this "kink", as Old Guard would say, comes from my love of the bear necessities. The appreciation I have to the limits I learned to appreciate, respect and, at the same time, push against.

Or maybe I'm just a pig with untapped potential?

ACE 3

VIII.

One time my ass got really sore, probably from an enema gone wrong.

We were lying side by side and jacking each other off. I came and he came.

Then he went down on me and took all the cum, I reciprocated. Cumming in one's mouth is much better then licking someone's cum off.

Then we made out.

IX.

One time Roommate was on vacation, Ace invited me to stay over. (#FUCKYEAH!)

I arrived with the last bus, and he was dozing off. It took a few calls for the front apartment door to open.

He was moving an old sofa out. When I came in, the same sofa I sat on the first meeting was the first thing I saw. With it's feet against the wall, I still have to tip toe around it to avoid stepping on the back rest. I was wearing socks, so it's okay.

We sat on the sofa while I watched Family Guy and owned his tablet to read some comics. V for Vendetta (better in print) and Before Watchmen (better in digital).

"I don't think so!" Ace replied to Peter.

I laughed while I leaned on him while I flicked through the comics. I felt peaceful and serene.

I also felt I was procrastinating on reviewing for my Calculus 2 Finals.

When I finally ceded to sleep, we went to the bedroom and I got ready. We slept naked, and fucked me a few good minuted before officially sleeping. I wanted him to cum, but he didn't. So, I didn't.

He warned me of his snoring. I didn't care, he's right next to me.

I read a few more pages, the bright light bleeding to my side of the bed. I finally fell asleep. It's a different bed so, "you move too much," he said. It was more of an observation than an accusation really. 

he has his back to me and I leaned my forehead against him.



I woke up from the sounds in the bathroom.

I spent most of the early mornings doing my Calculus (and procrastinating with the tablet) review in my boxer briefs while he did some house stuff. Like everyone else, they have clutter problem, and he was fixing his side of the mess.

He recommended that I take a break from studying. He recommended by taking my head that I use in calculus and making out with it and taking my other head that doesn't need that much attention while doing calculus while making a side trip on my nipples. I was easily persuaded.

He bred me, calming me down.

He told me to leave around afternoon, as the roommate would be back from his vacation, and that everything in the fridge is up for breakfast.

I plundered the kitchen and made myself spinach omelet with a side of spam. Unfortunately, there was no rice so I went with wheat bread. I also took one of those carbonated flavored water. I should've ate more.

Sucking Faces 2

I don't think much about kissing. I just go and plaster my face to the person willing to lock lips with me since I honestly thought that kissing was a natural and innate human thing. But I guess it's just more about feeling.

My first kissing experience was around five or six, when RJ, probably younger than me, and I made out with no tongue behind the parked cars on the apartment lot. That afternoon was unreasonably bright as I peeked out and saw his lashes. On the other side of the van was the rest of our friends playing. I also made out with his brother RB.

At one time, I was at the bottom of what seemed like a three story necking game where RB was kissing RJ's neck from his back and RJ was kissing my neck, and this was all happening when our parents where inches from the other side of the sofa. It was really funny, it reminded me of those janitor fishes rather than anything sexual.

Recently, mom told me that RJ was "like me", because at one point he was wearing a dress or something like that, I didn't ask about it. I have no idea what that news meant or why she told me that, but a look at his profile while writing this would say that he's living well in the Homeland, devoutly Roman Catholic and likes David Pomeranz. The D-man got some serious ballads man.

Ace is aggressive. Like a SWAT team, he rams his lips into mine and we'd just tongue fence opening each other up like it's our last breath. I'd cling to him for dear life. In the later years, we'd gone a bit more aggressive than the last. After making out behind the front door, he'd attack my neck and my collar bone. Automatically like some machine, my knees would buckle and I've completely surrendered. I'd claw his back as if it was a legitimate attempt to right myself up, and he'd hear my shallow breaths and moans. He told me that apart from the sounds I make, he likes the goosebumps that appear on my arms and shoulders.That time when he had a three day stubble; it felt great.

Merman takes his time and I'm very okay with that (sometimes). He doesn't fully open to the kisses sometimes; our lips would massage each other and I'd lick at his lips to ask for an entry. He doesn't always open, and if he does he withdraws again. He's very very very soft. Like Merman himself, Merman's kisses would give privilege to the lips he's most comfortable with. Some might get impatient with him, but as long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Security is wet and dirty (in a good way). As he takes me on his lips, he drags on leaving my lips glossed with his spit. There was spit everywhere. Learning as I was, I did the same.

One of the kisses that boggles me would probably belong with Atlas. if we ever meet again, he might not even remember I dubbed him Atlas. He doesn't know my name either so I called myself Ganymede. I'll change it to Patroclus in case. How about Hercules? I can feel eye rolls coming at me.

Either because we rarely kissed or his kisses were so.... minimal that It matched his apartment. Minimal in a sense of "now you see it, now you don't", It was so quick and clean I'm tempted to call it a peck (for lack of tongue). There's such a fleeting quality to it; I know it happened, but did it?

Probably because there was no (strong) emotional fervor in that kiss; he was looking for some fun thing to do and I just happened to be in the vicinity. Glad I was there.

ACE 2

I tried to recall things in order. Nope.

I.

It took us about four meetings to finally say each others names.

Sometimes, I'd get really tense when he enters. I'm still trying to get used to fucking.

He'd stop. "Zen," he'd say, his tone was serious.

"I'm fine." Sometimes I really needed that space, but most times I just wish he's stop asking these things.

Though, sometimes it takes real effort to relax. But I'd be meeting his thrusts a few minutes later.

II.

"It's not that I'm paying you for sex," he says as he hands me a 20. Apparently, my complaints for being broke earlier were heard and Ace thought that giving me money was a solution. It has it's benefits and drawbacks.

I took it reluctantly because I'm not interested in getting paid for sex (with him at least).

He assures me he can afford it. This is trait of his is the one I aspire to emulate the most.

At one point, I didn't cum because I was too hungry. I didn't eat anything last night and I hadn't had breakfast because I need to be clean down there (I was still learning on how to be a good bottom). He can only host in the mornings. (When I asked him for enema advice, he doesn't have anything to offer.)

We have our clothes on, I was on top of him and his finger assaulted my hole. Second knuckle deep I was moaning and salivating and kissing him. We were staring at each others eyes and I made sure he knows by the sounds that I make, my kisses, and the way I look at him that I was enjoying being fucked by just a finger. His cum was the lube.

He stopped. "Get off the bed before I rape you."

Fully resigned, I buried my face in the angle of his neck and just grumbled. I was tempted to disobey, but I was really hungry.

He took me to his regular restaurant (he doesn't cook that much), and we ate breakfast. I took a picture of my food like some hipster fucker and he made snide comments on how fat that other person is ordering a second meal, I shushed him and told him to mind his own business. I thanked him for the meal after as he drove me to one of the usual spots.

III.

Sometimes, when he's inside me, he flexes his cock.

A moan was my usual reaction and a snigger behind my ear was the reply.

One time, I was on my back and my legs were up. He was assaulting my hole with his fingers until it got really painful. But I really loved the way he pressed that spot repeatedly.

IV.

While fucking me in the spooning position, the perfect position for us, he'd reach around and rub my precum with his thumb and make me lick it.

After a few dozens of this ritual. He just needs to raise his thumb to my face and all I'll meet it halfway. I made sure I lick it and suck it dry.

I love it when were facing each other. Like a dad feeding his boy.

V.

I told him about this guy who was a bit more than horny for me.

Can I ask you for some guy advice?

Of course!

Sucking Faces

One night at work, I was deep in thought about the topic of sucking faces. Hours before, after Movie 6, Merman asked me if Old Guard was a good kisser. I'd like to think I'm a good kisser as JD said, but I never really got validation to the men I'd really love to suck faces with.

Z: I need to ask. Was I a good kisser?
Ace: I had no complaints! And I love to kiss!
Z: You're so fucking sweet man. Thanks! Lol.
A: Why someone making u question urself??? [He turns into such a dad sometimes..]
A: Always remember we all have our own reality!
Z: I was just curious. I do believe that theres no bad kisser or good kisser. It's just that your way of kissing doesn't match their way of kissing. Remember that wheezing guy? He just stuck his tongue out...
Z: And someone asked me, "is he a good kisser?" And I thought about it. I like his kisses, is that enough?
A: It's all in the moment!
Z: Of the kiss?
A: Yup
Z: I see.

Z: I need to ask. Am I a good kisser?
Merman: Yes you are why?
Z: Just curious.
Z: I realized recently that there are no good kissers and bad kissers. It's just that sometimes, their kissing doesn't match with your kissing.... or is there really a right way?
M: I think your analysis of kissing is spot on
M: Except of course when that kisser happens to be a smoker yuck
Z: .... yeah, there was a tobacco chewing dude. But from the taste, he seemed to have chewed on a handful of mint. Lol, sweet but ineffective.

ACE

The first meeting was way back, months after that horrible experience. By some miracle, I still want to fuck and I have faith that I'll have a good fuck. I'm glad I'm an optimist.

I met Ace in an app few minutes before my shift ended. I think I initiated the conversation, after a poke from him. We agreed to meet a few days from then. I remember telling him, for some unknown reasons why... probably instincts, of my awful experience with butt fucking. He reassured me I'll be fine.

----

I figured out which buses to take (a route I've memorized), and I passed by a house that's being built while doing uphill to his apartment building. Over the years, that skeleton would be a full fledged beautiful house with a large parking space.

I made it to the street of the building and we met outside, he looks like a regular 50 year old white guy (we're thirty years apart to the dot). Nothing spectacular or anything. He lead me inside and we talked a little, about the bus ride. I was in combination nervous, anxious, and downright scared. Later on, I'd recognize the cocktail of feelings I wrestled with as a "who-do-you-think-you-are-having-sex?". A combination of surprise and shame that questions the fact that I, of all people, can have sex and be sexy?!

I drank a glass of water, and after 15 seconds in the sofa we got to the bedroom ("Should we move to the bedroom?"). He was really gentle at maneuvering me to his bed (that he shares with his ex/roommate) and I needed it at that time. I got too eager though.

He stopped me in my kiss and said something like, "It's okay, slow down. No need to rush." Right after that something in me clicked and I calmed down so he could take the lead.

One of the things I enjoyed doing with him, was that he'll straddle me and close my legs together. Then he'll lift my balls and put a large wad of spit in the crevice. Then he'll fuck my taint. It feels amazing in between there, and I'll meet his thrusts. Sometimes, he'd hit it so right, I'd shudder.

I have no idea how long we fucked, but it was a great experience. I remember doing it doggy style and my hands were gripping the headboard. I remember it as a sort of validation that sex feels awesome; that sex is good. Later I realized that it was better because there was trust and mutual love and respect involved. At that moment, I was just meeting his thrusts.

We went to spooning. "Can I cum inside?" He was thrusting in and out of me, and I'm in some kind of pleasurable space.

"Yeah." A whisper enough for him to hear. I was unsure of this answer, but I'd say the same thing if I came back in time.

This was my first official bareback fucking experience (that got completed). The pleasure was intense as his cum expanded in my innards. Oh man, I can still feel ghosts  of it when i recall it.

After I came from jacking off, I froze from pleasure. The ceiling has a soft glow, my hand suspended in mid air, cum dripping off. I didn't think of anything other than the moment. He wipes me off and offers the shower, he has some nice sea saltwater soap. I love that scent because it's his too.

After cleanup, we talked for a little while. It'll take months to really be at ease with him, but I'd say we hit it great initially. The first strings of conversation involves a hint from him, that basically frames our relationship from then on (a complaint about overzealous sexual partners who cant distinguish between sex and a relationship proposal). Fuck Buddies. Nothing bad in that; "yeah, you're right," I agreed.

Then he'd talk about realizing his past life.

I was more materialistic back then, scrunched up my face.

He laughed at my response.

I laughed too.

I wish he was my first of firsts.

But I'm just very glad that we met.

Appointment

Ace:  Slut
A: LOL
Z: You knew that the moment you laid eyes on me. LOL
A: HaHa

Week After.

Z: Guy #2 is an ex-military. Fucking hot and quite an inspiring guy.
Z: It might not look like it, bit it really is a productive day today. LOL
A: Nice.
Z: I made a mistake of making him cum outside. Dude. He's as big as you. AND HIS ASS WAS DELICIOUS.
Z: Then I wrote some e-mails did some some work and read a magazine. I can't believe it man, I'm a really lucky guy.
A: Damn wish I was playing maybe we could do a three way
Z: It was a real quick one. Fucking rough. God I love it.
Z: Skinny type of guy. Looks like that actor.
Z: Heeeey. Aren't you supposed to be a good boy? [Ace is dating someone]
A: Hmmmmm, Could be fun!!
Z: Lol. The mister might not be that strict. lol
A: Hmmmm
Z: Hmmmmmmm [fuck, I hate the "hmmmm" the fuck does that mean?]
Z: My fear of staying after hours in the shop. Because that seems to be the only place, is that I'll miss the last bus. But thats just 6 hours of reading and napping at the bus stop [for the next bus]. Lol. Whatever. There are other cocks.
A: The adventurer!

Later that night.

Z (from my phone): That day seems best.
Old Guard (his desktop computer): ok, you plan to be here 8am? also, sleep here then when rested want to learn more sub play? how long do you want to stay?
Z: As long as you can. Last bus at 12 I believe. I'll double check. I was wondering if we can use the fleshlight if thats ok.
O: Sure, guess u never used one.
Z: Nope
Z: Also, teach me that tie thing. Lol.
O: different feel, u will find out esp if u are tied
O: on ur cock/balls?
O: u liked it huh?
Z: I did. It was so interesting I wanna take pictures.
O: sure.
Z: I think I'm not ready for a blindfold yet. I dunno why, I think its because I like my vision so much.
O: confirm the day before if that day is definite, hope u are not working too hard
Z: Nope. I learned to take the right amount. Also vitamins and sleep.
O: sure, perhaps later, blindfolds creates more of a mental aspect in bondage, the mind works alot if cant see
Z; That;s the thing. The mind gets to more thinking. You just shut one of the avenues.
O: yes but that is the idea. e.g. bondage ur feeling now is transferred to ur skin on ur body, u will become very sensitive even areas not before
Z: I trained my mine to be more quiet. Then this?
O: well see how u enjoy bondage, then see how things evolve
Z: Yup.
O: to me that's when bdsm play is all about, experimentation and potential expansion of pleasures and growth
Z: how many subs did you go through so far?
O: actually not many as u think, people talk of it more than willing to try it. it tends to be more fantasy than reality to most.
Z: Would it be called different if lets say drawing blood was involved?
O: actually no, blood is in the realm of bdsm, just a vast majority don't do it. e.g. breath control, etc. there are areas very few venture into
Z: Ok. Hows your end doing?
O: am doing ok, nothing much, also, seems u have not participated into a lot of "kink" play?
Z: rough fucks seems to be the closets ever. Its so funny I had sex twice yesterday and I really like the shorter and rougher second one. I didn't even cum.
Z: turns out I really really like rimming
Z: *love
O: rough makes u feel more like an "it" versus a person? for u?
Z: It's not really being objectified. the second one made me feel a little like masturbatory material rather than a sex partner.
Z: so being used wasn't that fun.
Z: what I really liked and had fun with the guy was the blase-ness of it and the intense sensations.
O: ah ok, we'll see. I like feedback from u what turns u on or not. I tend to develop methods to excite
Z: there was no pretense. We just drove right in it. Then we talked about shit and whatever after.
Z: I'll tell you more about it. It's still fresh in my head.
O: ok, seems u are being experiential with different guys.
Z: I guess so.
O: ok, going to bed, catch you later
Z: yep
O: have ur wrists been tied to ur ankles to expose ur ass for fucking
Z: nope.

Before I could ask why did he ask, I was cut off by his reply.

O: ok
O: anyways chat more, gonna go offline, take care
Z: K

Son of a bitch. The next day.

O: need to cancel tomorrow meeting, wont be able to host.
Z: okay. That put a damper in me.

Then silence, I didn't bother. I have a feeling that was intentional.

Moron

We met from my post in the internet. When I look back at it, I was a desperate immature git; it's a relief that I actually improved. I was green, stupid, and horny late teenager. He was around twice my age.

We met at a park in his part of the state. I was tired from lack of sleep and too warm from my jacket.

He drove me to his house. Roughly an hour.

Being a little more prudish back then, I balked when his hand went over to my crotch. Well, he was driving through a crowded street.

He owns a large lot with a small house and a vegetable garden.

We went inside. Foreplay wasn't that much. He smoked weed and I sucked his cock.

I had no knowledge of anatomy whatsoever and I have an awful thing about learning things the hard way.

I insisted that he wear a condom and fuck me on my back.

Years later, I would've told this youngster that unless the person has a disproportionately small penis, fucking on his back is a little painful unless there's A LOT of lube in there and a lot of stretching involved. Also, lots of foreplay.

Good news was, I didn't end up being fucked on my back. It was on my stomach.

Bad news: no lube.

It was one of the most painful sexual experiences ever. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I didn't have enough mental and physical strength to actually get this man off me, so I fucking took it. The pain and all.

It felt like hours.

But as you can see, I'm alive and better.

When it was done, he took out the condom and I got a shower. Got dressed. He gave me some stuff from his vegetable garden, and I got to the furthest bus stop as he can take me. He told me how expensive the gas was. I told him I'm having a headache.

My long hair's wet, I have a headache and I didn't cum.

Months after I met Ace.