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Bald: How I Slowly Learned to Not Hate Having No Hair (And You Can Too)
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'The funniest book of the year' SPECTATOR
'The funniest imaginable version of a grief memoir and brilliantly unpacks male vanity and insecurity' GUARDIAN BOOK OF THE DAY
'Stuart is made for baldness' LARRY DAVID
'A genuine tonic and very funny read' NATHAN FILER
'Excellent and should be read by vaguely vain men of all hair types' SIMON USBORNE
This is a guide to life in the club that nobody wants to join.
Nobody chooses to be bald. Nobody wants to look into the mirror and be confronted with an absence. Nobody gains any comfort from having a slightly better idea of what their skull looks like.
Stuart Heritage has been bald for two years. But before he accepted the inevitable, he spent a number of years ineptly trying to conceal this fact with an array of expensive treatments and terrible haircuts. Can a man go bald with dignity? Maybe. But can a man go bald with more dignity than Stuart Heritage? Oh good god yes, and this book is his attempt to make that happen for you.
Part-manual-part-tantrum, this is a self-deprecating, funny and genuinely helpful guide to being bald: what really happens, why it matters and how to feel much less crap about it.
- Print length192 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherProfile Books
- Publication date25 April 2024
- Dimensions10.92 x 2.54 x 18.03 cm
- ISBN-101800818564
- ISBN-13978-1800818569
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From the Publisher
Product description
Review
Going bald can scramble a man's self-esteem and leave those around them walking on eggshells.
Stuart Heritage reveals the unvarnished truth about his own hair loss - and how he learnt to survive it
It's excellent and should be read by vaguely vain men of all hair types including none -- Simon Usborne
Speaking as a man who is getting too rapidly acquainted with the contours of my own skull, this book was a genuine tonic. And a very funny read. -- Nathan Filer, author of 'This Book Will Change Your Mind About Mental Health'
Cards on the table, I'm not a bald man yet ... [and] Heritage fills me with renewed confidence about my future -- Hugo Rifkind ― Times Radio
Very very funny [and] LOL-packed while also quite poignant and weird ... all things I like a lot in a book -- Jessica Dettmann, author of 'How to Be Second Best'
Stuart's head is made for baldness -- Larry David
The funniest imaginable version of a grief memoir ... Heritage does what he does best: he lays on the laughs. Happily, all the wry self-deprecation packed into an appropriately thin volume serves a grander goal ... Heritage gives sensitivity scores to things people say to balding men. Managing to brilliantly unpack male vanity and insecurity, Bald stands ready to hold the hand of any vulnerable man who might otherwise fall into a pit of despair on the internet ... I'll never hear 'you have a nice-shaped head' the same way again ― Guardian Book of the Day
The funniest book of the year - an extended rant on the terrible unfairness of male pattern baldness , and particularly how it has destroyed the life of one Stuart Heritage . It's deranged , and priceless , whether you are as bald as a coot , moving in that direction or merely spending every waking minute worrying about going bald (that covers most men). Larry David thought the book was very funny indeed and , as so often , he's spot on. -- Marcus Berkmann ― Spectator
I love Stuart's constantly visible skull -- Robyn Wilder, author (and Stuart’s wife)
Praise for Bedtime Stories for Worried Liberals ― :
Laugh-out-loud ― i Paper
No one writes about the incidentals and the characteristics of British life better than Stuart Heritage -- Dolly Alderton
The funniest book I've read this year ... Superb -- Will Storr
Praise for Don't Be a Dick, Pete ― :
Really funny and crazy -- Bob Odenkirk
Almost unfairly funny -- Hadley Freeman
I loved it so much I read it in one fell swoop. Fantatically funny but also so touching -- India Knight
The funniest book of the year -- Cosmopolitan
Hilarious ... a touching take on modern masculinity and family ― Grazia
This is (very, very) funny, but it's also a story about brothers and families and home, and it's as warm as it is rude ― Stylist
Book Description
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Profile Books
- Publication date : 25 April 2024
- Edition : Main
- Language : English
- Print length : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1800818564
- ISBN-13 : 978-1800818569
- Item weight : 200 g
- Dimensions : 10.92 x 2.54 x 18.03 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 461,431 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 31 in Hair Loss
- 568 in Doctors & Medicine Humour
- 5,388 in Social & Health Issues Biographies
- Customer reviews:
About the author

Stuart Heritage is a feature writer and columnist for The Guardian, The Times, Air Mail and Men's Health. In addition to this, he has written for a range of publications and television programmes, and founded and edited award-winning blogs.
For two years running he was named as one of the 50 most influential emerging figures in the British media by The Independent, an honour that has singularly failed to manifest itself into anything even slightly meaningful. He is bald.
Stuart’s first book, a biography of his brother called DON’T BE A DICK, PETE, was published by Square Peg (Random House) in 2017. His second, BEDTIME STORIES FOR WORRIED LIBERALS, was published by Profile in 2019. His first picture book JONATHAN THE MAGIC PONY (illustrated by Nicola Slater) was published by Puffin in 2020.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings, help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyses reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonTop reviews from the United Kingdom
- 5 out of 5 stars
Not just for bald men...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 March 2025This book isn't aimed at me - I'm a woman with all my hair - but I've been a fan of Heritage's writing for a long time, and I loved his other non-fiction book (Don't Be A Dick, Pete), so I had to buy this too. I really enjoyed it - it's laugh-out-loud funny and an eye-opener, offering a fascinating glimpse into the world (and egos) of men who have lost or are losing their hair. Well worth reading, whether you're the target audience or not.
Sending feedback...Sending feedback...HelpfulThank you for your feedback.Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try againThank you. We’ll investigate in the next few days.Sorry, We failed to report this review. Please try again - 5 out of 5 stars
An enjoyable read about a trivial but painful experience
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 26 April 2024Hair loss for men is such a strange thing. You spend your teenage years hoping by some miracle that someone finds you attractive and when it happens it's a euphoric feeling. Then something happens that makes you significantly less physically attractive to most of the people that you want to attract, and you're told it's not important.
Anyway, I found the book to be quite a cathartic read and I can relate to a lot of the author's experiences. For something that doesn't really matter it isn't a very nice experience but eventually you get over it.
3 people found this helpfulSending feedback...Sending feedback...HelpfulThank you for your feedback.Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try againThank you. We’ll investigate in the next few days.Sorry, We failed to report this review. Please try again - 4 out of 5 stars
Good natured
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 12 July 2024A good natured, sensitive and informative view of an ever-present issue which causes much embarrassment for those who have it and those around them.
Heritage shows great compassion and respect for his fellow "sufferers" but does not forget to enjpy the humour attaching to baldness.
Sending feedback...Sending feedback...HelpfulThank you for your feedback.Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try againThank you. We’ll investigate in the next few days.Sorry, We failed to report this review. Please try again - 3 out of 5 stars
Be bold
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 May 2024I’m a big fan of Heritage and was looking forward to the book, as I’m balding badly myself.
First impressions: slight with a large-ish font.
It is largely about identity and how this has been filtered through the years of him having less hair compared to the apparent brilliance of him with a mane.
Incidentally, on an objective viewpoint Heritage looks better without, as opposed to the Norwegian incel of yore.
However, it is more sterile in tone when looking at the science of hair loss compared to the primal unfairness of some losing more than others.
There are pleasant detours with his personal experiences that give the occasional chuckle but overall, it could have done with being more fleshed out.
4 people found this helpfulSending feedback...Sending feedback...HelpfulThank you for your feedback.Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try againThank you. We’ll investigate in the next few days.Sorry, We failed to report this review. Please try again - 1 out of 5 stars
Light in every way
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 December 2024Not really worth the time or money based on the description
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Top reviews from other countries
Marc Kagan1 out of 5 starsNo Way Jose
Reviewed in the United States on 25 December 2025Stuart could write 100 books on the same subject but it would never convince me to accept the loss of one follicle. I have been angry and pissed about my hair since my 20’s and have been as angry and pissed about it every single day and hour since then and I just turned 79. I want all that time back or there is no “God”! How about THAT Larry David! Anyway…. Nice try. Not really a review just another rant, I know.
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