Hey my loves! Melvis here; How are you doing? Sending a lot of love out. ..times are extremely wild and sensitive right now, so I hope you can take some time to find some mental peace and find some time to find some joy in something. Welcome and welcome back to my blog.
Today I’m going to talk about some of the things that I do and that you can do when the mood swings kick in. Hope you enjoy and learn something.
Mood Swings and Bipolar Disorder
It’s tough to go through the mood swings of bipolar disorder. Depression can make it hard to do the things you want and need to do. During manic periods, you may be reckless and volatile.
The best way to avoid mood swings is to get treatment. You may not be able to totally prevent bouts of mania or depression. Even people who always take their medication and take care of their health can still have mood swings from time to time. That’s why it’s important to catch changes in your mood, energy levels, and sleeping patterns before they turn into something serious.
Mood Swing Triggers in Bipolar Disorder
At first, mood swings may take you by surprise. But over time, you might start to see patterns or signs that you’re entering a period of mania or depression. Aside from a shift in your mood, look for changes in your:
Sleep patterns
Energy level
Alcohol or drug use
Sex drive
Self-esteem
Concentration
Mood episodes in bipolar disorder often happen suddenly, for no particular reason. Sometimes, you may notice that there are specific things that can trigger mania or depression, such as getting too little sleep, changes to your daily routine, or jet lag when you travel. Many people find they’re more likely to become depressed or manic during stressful times at work or during holidays. Some people see seasonal patterns to their mood changes.
One good way to spot your triggers is to keep a journal. Make note of big events, stresses, your medication dose, and the amount of sleep you’re getting. Over time, you might see some patterns.
Of course, there may be triggers that you just can’t avoid, like a serious illness or the death of a loved one. But if you can recognize the things that are likely to bring on mania or depression, you can prepare for times when you might be most vulnerable. Work with a mental health professional to plan what to do when you think a mood swing might happen. Ask for more help from family and friends. Have them check in more often so you get extra support.
If you see the signs of potential trouble, get help. Don’t wait for the mood episode to pass on its own. You might be able to stop a minor change from becoming a serious problem.
The Appeal of Mania in Bipolar Disorder
When people with bipolar disorder are depressed, they almost always know that something is wrong. Nobody likes feeling that way.
But it’s different for people who are manic. Often, they don’t think anything is wrong. Or if they notice a difference in their mood and personality, they think it’s an improvement.
Mania can be seductive. You might feel more energized, creative, and interesting. You might be able to get tons of work done. So what’s the problem?
Manic phases often turn destructive. You might wipe out your savings account on a shopping spree. You might have affairs that ruin your marriage. Most dangerous of all, mania can make you do things that risk your life or the lives of others. And it’s often followed by depression.
Although mania can feel good at the moment, in the long run, you’ll be happier, healthier, more productive, and more successful if you can keep a stable mood.
Everyday Tips for Living With Bipolar Disorder
There’s a lot you can do to help manage your bipolar disorder. Along with seeing your doctor and therapist and taking your medicines, simple daily habits can make a difference.
Start with these strategies.
Set a schedule. Many people with bipolar disorder find if they stick to a daily schedule, it helps them control their mood.
Pay attention to your sleep.This is especially important for people with bipolar disorder. Being sleep-deprived can sometimes trigger mania in those with the condition. It can also be a sign of a flare-up of your symptoms. For instance, just a few nights of less sleep may mean that a manic episode could be coming on. Or if you start to sleep a lot more than normal, it might mean you’re depressed.
Use these tips;
Go to sleep and get up at the same times every day.
Relax before bed by listening to soothing music, reading, or taking a bath.
Don’t sit up in bed watching TV or scrolling through your phone.
Make your bedroom a calming space.
If your sleep patterns start to change, tell your doctor or therapist.
Exercise. It may improve your mood whether or not you have bipolar disorder. And you’ll probably sleep better, too.
If you’re not active now, check with your doctor that you’re healthy enough to get started. Keep it simple at first, such as walking with a friend. Gradually, work up to working out for at least 30 minutes a day on most days of the week.
Eat well. There’s no specific diet for people with bipolar disorder. But just like anyone else, choosing the right kinds of foods can help you feel better and give you the nutrients you need. Focus on the basics: Favor fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains. And cut down on fat, salt, and sugar.
Tame stress. Anxiety can worsen mood symptoms in many people with bipolar disorder. So take time to relax.
Lying on the couch watching TV or checking your social media accounts isn’t the best way to go. Instead, try something more focused, like yoga or other types of exercise. Meditation is another good choice. An easy way to do that is to simply focus on your breathing for a few minutes, letting other thoughts come and go without paying them a lot of attention.
You can also listen to music or spend time with positive people who are good company.
Make adjustments athome and at work. Are there stressful things in your life that you might be able to change? Whether it’s in your family or on the job, look for solutions.
For instance, could your partner handle more of the chores at home? Might your boss be able to cut down on some of your responsibilities if you’re overloaded? Do what you can to simplify your life and make it easier.
Limit caffeine. It can keep you up at night and possibly affect your mood. So don’t drink a lot of soda, coffee, or tea. And take it easy on chocolate, too, because it has caffeine. You can even cut these items out completely. It’s often best to do that gradually so you don’t get headaches and other signs of caffeine withdrawal.
Avoid alcohol and drugs. They can affect how your medications work. They can also worsen bipolar disorder and trigger a mood episode. And they can make the condition harder to treat. So don’t use them at all.
Bipolar disorder can be a lot to deal with. Many people turn to alcohol or drugs and have a substance abuse problem.
If you think that you have a problem with alcohol or other drugs, get help now. Bipolar treatment may not be enough. Substance abuse often needs its own separate treatment. You may need to tackle both conditions at the same time.
Talk to your doctor or therapist about your options. Look into local substance abuse support groups. Dealing with your alcohol or drug issues is a must for your recovery.
What are some of your recommendations or what helps you when you are just having one of those days? Let me know in the comment section below. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me incase you need someone to talk to or are feeling overwhelmed or stressed,angry or sad… Or happy… Whatever it is,you can talk to me. I got you!
Hello everyone! For those who are new here my name is Melvis Mogambi. Welcome to the Kintsugi Support family, and to the fam, welcome back to my blog. Make yourself comfortable.
Myths about type 1
No doubt you’ve heard people say stuff about type 1 diabetes that simply isn’t true. Next time you hear a myth, come back with a fact. Here’s a quick guide to help you.
Myth
You get type 1 diabetes because you’re overweight.
Fact
Type 1 diabetes is actually caused by the body’s immune system attacking and destroying the cells in your pancreas that produce insulin. Anyone can develop it, whatever their body size and shape.
Myth
With type 1 diabetes you can’t have any sweets, chocolate or anything sugary.
Fact
People with type 1 diabetes can have a normal, healthy diet which includes some sugar – just like people without type 1. Whatever they eat, people with type 1 need to regularly measure the glucose levels in their blood and have insulin injections.
Myth
With type 1 diabetes you can’t join in PE lessons or do sports.
Fact
As long as people with type 1 diabetes check their blood glucose level is stable first, there’s no reason why they can’t play sport. They may need to have a snack before they start and check their blood glucose during exercise.
Myth
All diabetes is the same.
Fact
Most people have heard of diabetes but few know there’s more than one type. The most common are type 1 and type 2. People often get confused between them.
Here are the facts about type 1 and type 2 diabetes:
Type 1 diabetes
Your body can’t produce any insulin.
Type 2 diabetes
Your body can make some insulin, but not enough. Or, the insulin it produces doesn’t work properly.
Type 1 diabetes
Usually is diagnosed in young adults and children but can start at any age.
Type 2 diabetes
Usually appears in people over 40.
Type 1 diabetes
If you have it, you need to do finger prick tests and insulin injections every day, or wear an insulin pump. You also need to eat a healthy diet and take regular exercise.
Type 2 diabetes
It’s treated with a healthy diet and exercise. Medication and/or insulin is sometimes needed, too.
All you really need to know about type 1 diabetes Eric Hamblin likely learned in kindergarten. This 8-year-old was diagnosed at 18 months of age, and he already has enough smarts to teach first-year med students a thing or two about the disease.
“I just want to say one thing, and that’s you guys don’t know anything about diabetes,” the class clown told a capacity crowd at a University of New England Medical School seminar.
His line got the laughs he was after, but there’s truth behind it. Of an estimated 29 million Americans with diabetes, about 3 million have Eric’s form of the disease. The smaller proportion of people with type 1 may be a big reason the condition so misunderstood.
Types 1 and 2 both cause high blood sugar and have insulin as the problem. Insulin is a hormone that unlocks cells to let in blood sugar, and that creates energy.
You can’t live without insulin. If you have type 1 diabetes, your body doesn’t make enough of it. If you have type 2, your body can’t use it properly. There are many other differences between the conditions.
Rumor Has It
Eric’s mom, Elizabeth Pratt Hamblin, knew the basics thanks to her job as a medical editor. “But I didn’t know what having type 1 really meant or how it was treated until he was diagnosed,” she says.
What began as an overwhelmed mother’s quest to learn how to care for her son turned into a self-help book for others: 100 Questions & Answers About Your Child’s Type 1 Diabetes.
Pratt Hamblin covers many myths about type 1 diabetes in her book, including that it only affects children. That’s not true, although it doesn’t help that the condition used to be called “juvenile” or “juvenile-onset” diabetes.
About 18,000 kids a year are diagnosed with the disease, but it can happen at any age. About 5% of adults with diabetes have type 1. And you never outgrow it, no matter how old you are when you get diagnosed.
Let’s set the record straight about some other common tales, the kind of hurtful hearsay that many people with type 1 diabetes often hear:
“You must have OD’d on sugar to get type 1 diabetes.”
Not so.
“Type 1 is like being hit by lightning. It happens sometimes, and it’s not anybody’s fault,” says Steven Griffen, MD, a vice president for JDRF (formerly called the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation). “Unfortunately, we don’t know exactly what causes type 1 diabetes, and researchers are still trying to get a clear picture about genetic and environmental factors that may play roles, including exposure to viruses or bacteria that live in your gut.”
One thing we do know, though, is that it’s not brought on by too much sugar.
“Could it come from getting a vaccine as a kid?”
Scientists haven’t found a link between vaccines and type 1 diabetes.
“You put on too much weight. That’s what caused it.”
No, weight is not to blame for the disease, either. Obesity and inactivity are big risk factors for type 2 diabetes and many other health problems, but there’s no such connection to type 1.
“Oh, you have the ‘bad’ kind of diabetes.”
There’s no “good” kind of diabetes, nor is it a matter of better or worse. Types 1 and 2 are different, and they have to be managed as such.
“I can’t catch it, can I?”
Nope. Diabetes is not contagious.
“No sweets for you!”
Wrong. In fact, that’s just what the doctor orders when blood sugar nosedives, a condition called low blood sugar or “hypoglycemia.”
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, diagnosed with type 1 at age 7, wrote in her autobiography about a time she set all good manners aside to grab and stuff cake in her mouth to fend off a sugar low.
You can eat or drink anything you want as long as you take the right amount of insulin to balance out the carbohydrates.
“It’s probably not a good idea to play sports.”
If you pay attention to how you feel and closely watch your blood sugar levels to adjust as needed, you can stay safe and reap the rewards of getting in the game.
You can even excel. Swimmer Gary Hall, Jr. has type 1 diabetes — and 10 Olympic medals.
“You were feeling so good last week. Why are you having trouble now? Don’t you have it figured out?”
Sometimes the disease can be hard to control, even when you stick to your meal plan and dosing schedule.
Many things — including stress, hormone changes, periods of growth, and illness — can cause your blood sugar to swing out of control. Ups and downs don’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.
“When can you stop the insulin? Shouldn’t you be cured by now?”
Taking insulin keeps people with type 1 diabetes alive. They must have it, but it doesn’t make the disease go away.
“There is no cure, but we are making major strides,” Griffen says. He points to life-changing treatments, including new classes of drugs, insulin pumps, continuous glucose monitors and, someday, maybe even an “artificial pancreas” to fill in for a faulty original organ.
Ironically, recent advances have also created more misconceptions. Those go something like this:
“Why don’t you get one of those devices to check your blood sugar for you?”
For many people, certain technology isn’t an option. It can be expensive, and insurance may not cover the cost.
Eric had a continuous glucose monitor for a few years. But that device wasn’t in the budget when his mom lost her job during the economic crisis. He uses a meter now.
“There is a misconception that just because it is out there, anyone can get it, which is not true at all,” Pratt Hamblin says.null
Here’s another:
“Thank goodness you have that pump so you don’t have to worry about your blood sugar.”
When people find out her son has an insulin pump, they think it automatically fixes his blood sugar, Pratt Hamblin says.
“The pump helps a lot, but every time he puts food in his mouth, someone has to do a math calculation, enter information, and give him insulin unless he’s low, in which case I have to manually shut it off,” she says.
The reality is that managing type 1 diabetes is a 24/7 job.
“Sure, it’s a complicated disease that affects all aspects of your life, but it shouldn’t keep you from doing anything you put your mind to,” Griffen says. “You can eat what you want, you can play sports, drive cars, get pregnant, have kids… It just comes with a condition, which is being aware of the situation and managing your sugar.”
Sources
WebMD, LLC. JDRF
Thank you so much for reading my blog. Don’t forget to check out more blogs below. Tell me what you think, or what you learnt. Any questions? Suggestions? Ask me. Leave a comment down below or reach out to me using the contact information in the contact button on the menu. If you liked it you can also share this with friends and family, you never know the impact you might have on someone or the lives you can save just by educating and learning; giving people hope and letting them know that they are not alone. And that you care,it really does feel good. I appreciate each and every single one of you. Love and light! Till next time, byyyyyyyeeee! Continue taking care of your beautiful selves and staying safe.
Hello everyone! For those who are new here, my name is Melvis Mogambi, welcome to the Kintsugi Support family and to the fam welcome back. Hope you are doing well, I am so happy you are here, make yourself feel right at home!
When I received my diagnosis in 2012, I knew very little about the condition I did not even know that I had it; but when I did, I researched and researched, talking to my doctors, and educating myself until I understood what was going on.
Although we are learning more about bipolar disorder, there remain many misconceptions. Here are a few myths and facts, so you can arm yourself with knowledge and help end the stigma.
1. Myth: Bipolar disorder is a rare condition.
Fact: One in four Kenyans (11.5 million people) suffer from one or a combination of mental disorders. The exact figure of people living with bipolar disorder in Kenya is not available
2. Myth: Bipolar disorder is just mood swings, which everybody has.
Fact: The highs and lows of bipolar disorder are very different from common mood swings. People with bipolar disorder experience extreme changes in energy, activity, and sleep that are not typical for them.
The psychiatry research manager at one U.S. university, who wishes to stay anonymous, writes, “Just because you wake up happy, get grumpy in the middle of the day, and then end up happy again, it doesn’t mean you have bipolar disorder — no matter how often it happens to you! Even a diagnosis of rapid-cycling bipolar disorder requires several days in a row of (hypo)manic symptoms, not just several hours. Clinicians look for groups of symptoms more than just emotions.”
3. Myth: There is only one type of bipolar disorder.
Fact: There are four basic types of bipolar disorder, and the experience is different per individual.
Bipolar I is diagnosed when a person has one or more depressive episodes and one or more manic episodes, sometimes with psychotic features such as hallucinations or delusions.
Bipolar II has depressive episodes as its major feature and at least one hypomanic episode. Hypomania is a less severe type of mania. A person with bipolar II disorder may experience either mood-congruent or mood-incongruent psychotic symptoms.
Cyclothymic disorder (cyclothymia) is defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least two years (1 year in children and adolescents) without meeting the severity requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
Bipolar disorder otherwise not specified does not follow a particular pattern and is defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.
4. Myth: Bipolar disorder can be cured through diet and exercise.
Fact: Bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness and there currently is no cure. However, it can be well-managed with medication and talk therapy, by avoiding stress, and maintaining regular patterns of sleeping, eating, and exercise.
5. Myth: Mania is productive. You’re in a good mood and fun to be around.
Fact: In some instances, a manic person may feel good at first, but without treatment things can become detrimental and even terrifying. They may go on a big shopping spree, spending beyond their means. Some people become overly anxious or highly irritable, getting upset over small things and snapping at loved ones. A manic person may lose control of their thoughts and actions and even lose touch with reality.null
6. Myth: Artists with bipolar disorder will lose their creativity if they get treatment.
Fact: Treatment often allows you to think more clearly, which will likely improve your work. Pulitzer Prize-nominated author Marya Hornbacher discovered this firsthand.
“I was very persuaded I would never write again when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. But before, I wrote one book; and now I’m on my seventh.”
She has found that her work is even better with treatment.
“When I was working on my second book, I was not yet treated for bipolar disorder, and I wrote about 3,000 pages of the worst book that you have ever seen in your life. And then, in the middle of writing that book, which I just somehow couldn’t finish because I kept writing and writing and writing, I got diagnosed and I got treated. And the book itself, the book that was ultimately published, I wrote in 10 months or so. Once I got treated for my bipolar disorder, I was able to channel the creativity effectively and focus. Nowadays I deal with some symptoms, but by and large I just go about my day,” she said. “Once you get a handle on it, it’s certainly livable. It’s treatable. You can work with it. It doesn’t have to define your life.” She discusses her experience in her book “Madness: A Bipolar Life,” and she is currently working on a follow-up book about her road to recovery.
7. Myth: People with bipolar disorder are always either manic or depressed.
Fact: People with bipolar disorder can experience long periods of even, balanced mood called euthymia. Conversely, they may sometimes experience what’s referred to as a “mixed episode,” which has features of both mania and depression at the same time.
8. Myth: All medications for bipolar disorder are the same.
Fact: It might take some trial and error to find the medication that works for you. “There are several mood stabilizers/antipsychotic medications available to treat bipolar disorder. Something that works for one person might not work for another. If someone tries one and it doesn’t work or has side effects, it’s very important that they communicate this to their provider. The provider should be there to work as a team with the patient to find the right fit,” writes the psychiatry research manager.
Takeaway
One in five people is diagnosed with a mental illness, including bipolar disorder. I, like so many others, have responded extremely well to treatment. My daily life is quite normal, and my relationships are getting stronger than ever. Though I’ve been having episodes, I’m getting better and my career is getting stronger.
I urge you to learn about the common signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder, and talk to your doctor if you meet any of the criteria for diagnosis. If you or someone you know is in crisis, get help immediately. Call 911 or 999. It’s time to end the stigma that prevents people from getting the help that can improve or save their lives.
Not everything you’ve heard about bipolar disorder is true. Learn what’s real about the disorder so you can better understand it.
Unfortunately, much of what people think they know about bipolar disorder is not accurate. It’s easy to absorb bipolar misconceptions, especially given the extreme behaviors portrayed on TV and in movies. But it’s important to learn the facts.
Bipolar: Myth vs. Truth
Myth: Bipolar disorder is not a real illness.
Truth: Bipolar disorder is a highly treatable, but cyclical, genetic illness that can be controlled. “The perception [of bipolar disorder] should be in the same vein as other chronic illnesses,” says Suresh Sureddi, MD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas and a director of Lifepath Systems, a community mental health clinic in Plano, Texas. Dr. Sureddi explains that it helps to remember that bipolar disorder is a chronic illness, like congestive heart failure or diabetes, which sometimes results in patients having to be hospitalized and needing ongoing treatment.
Myth: Once you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, your life as you’ve known it is over, and you won’t be able to achieve your goals.
Truth: Although there is no cure for bipolar, many people with the disorder are able to control their condition. “I can’t tell you how devastating it was to believe my life was over,” says Larry Fricks, vice president of peer services for the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Fricks was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1984 and later profiled in Strong at the Broken Places, by Richard M. Cohen. “But you don’t have to have your life taken over by a mental illness,” Fricks says. “You’re still a person with hopes and dreams and you can get those. Bipolar disorder has a very high recovery rate if you are proactive about managing your illness.”
Myth: People with bipolar disorder cannot keep a job or serve in a position of authority.
Truth: A person’s job performance does not have to be affected by bipolar disorder. “A lot of people with bipolar disorder hold high-functioning jobs. They become lawyers, doctors, scientists, engineers,” Sureddi says. By managing bipolar disorder with medications and positive lifestyle habits, such as adhering to regular schedules and sleep habits, they are able to live very stable and productive lives.
Myth: Bipolar disorder defines who you are.
Truth: “I have bipolar disorder. I am not bipolar. There’s a big difference,” says Kristin Finn, the author of Bipolar and Pregnant, a mental health advocate, and a member of the speakers bureau of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Finn was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1979 and is the mother of a 17-year-old who also has bipolar disorder. “Just as my next door neighbor may have cancer but wouldn’t say ‘I am cancer.’ I think it’s important not to define yourself by the condition.”
Myth: If someone has bipolar disorder, all their moods are a product of the condition.
Truth: People with bipolar disorder have moods and feelings just like everyone else, and their moods are not always connected to the illness. Sureddi says family members sometimes think that once a loved one has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, the condition cannot be stabilized, so any misspoken word or perceived misdeed is blamed on the fact that that person has bipolar disorder. Finn agrees, adding that her daughter feels that she’s not allowed to just have a bad day. When she’s upset about something, those around her assume she’s having a bipolar episode. It’s important to remember that that’s not always the case.
Myth: Everybody who has bipolar disorder has wide mood swings, going from very depressed to super manic and out of control.
Truth: While that range of mood symptoms does exist, not all people living with bipolar disorder experience symptoms that way. Some people have predominantly depressive episodes, with very few, mild symptoms of mania, called hypomania. Sureddi says people can have bipolar disorder symptoms for 10 or 12 years before they are diagnosed, because the symptoms of mania are not prominent and are therefore missed.
Myth: Once you’re feeling better, you can stop taking your bipolar disorder medications.
Truth: When people living with bipolar disorder decide they’ll be fine without medications and stop treatment, the mood cycles start again. “Medications are necessary to maintain an active lifestyle,” says Sureddi. “Just as with other chronic illnesses, bipolar disorder requires ongoing treatment, without which symptoms only get worse rather than better.”
The more you know about bipolar disorder, the more you can help stop the spread of these misconceptions.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. Remember to share,like,comment and subscribe to my blog to stay up to date and to reach more people. Sharing is caring! Any questions,leave a comment down below or reach out to me using the contact information in the contact button on the menu.
Till next time! You are so beautiful, You are so worth it and You are always,always enough! And as always,You are not alone.
Hey warriors! For those who are new here my name is Melvis Mogambi, welcome and welcome back to my blog! I am sooo happy you stopped by. Last time I talked about what bipolar is like for me and I mentioned that I’ll talk about psychosis in my next post which is…this one! If you haven’t checked out my previous blog I suggest you do, I’ll link it down below.
For those of you who don’t know, psychosis is a mental disorder characterised by a disconnection from reality.Psychosis may occur as a result of a psychiatric illness such as schizophrenia. In other instances, it may be caused by a health condition, medication or drug use. It is treatable by a medical professional and requires a medical diagnosis. Lab tests or imaging is not required. It is also critical and needs emergency care.
So… I’ve experienced psychosis,or psychotic episodes twice. All in 2018 and there is nothing more terrifying. In bipolar,if an episode of mania or depression becomes very severe, you may develop psychotic symptoms. I’ve talked about that in one of my previous blogs, Bipolar Disorder.
The first episode was mid year,I think June/July there. I had broken up with my boyfriend at the time and I was very depressed. It was so bad, I felt physically sick. My thoughts and emotions were so impaired that,looking back,I really was loosing touch with reality. I was just lushing out saying all sorts of things on my WhatsApp status. I was so harsh on literally everyone,family,friends course mates… Some of my family is still like hurt by those outbursts. And due to that as well I think my sugars were just haphazard… Or just highly fluctuating. Uuuh,and to add on to that, wah, I remember I got piles (haemorrhoids) Swollen and inflamed veins in the rectum and anus that cause discomfort and bleeding. I remember one morning just waking up and going to the washrooms and uuuuwwwiii… I’m in pain and just seeing blood coming out from down there. I’m wiping myself and I just see blood on the tissue, I just thought this is it now, I am dying. I have never been so scared in my life. It is even one of our family friends who told us that. I remember I got so scared after the washroom visit I just went and literally slept the entire day that day. I just felt here I am so depressed and then I’m being added something else so painful and uncomfortable to deal with? I couldn’t…I just could not.
So the depression continued,and probably got worse with all the break up drama going on at the time. I remember I even started seeing things,in the night. It was so bad. One night,I fell sick and I had to be rushed to hospital, they checked me out and found out that the sugars were high as well and I had to be admitted. I was also mentally ill or like the stress levels were too high as they put it, and had to be checked out by a psychiatrist who’s my current doctor to this day. I was treated, I remember the meds were so strong. There’s this one time I was literally staggering going to the washrooms in the middle of the night. I think one of the other patients noticed I was in the toilets too long and I probably needed assistance. Ah, it was terrible. During that period as well, I recall there’s a time some people were just talking to me, saying God knows what because I couldn’t even understand them. My mother was crying in our mother tongue,wailing literally… My heart breaks. Apparently I had hit her or slapped her… I honestly don’t remember. I just remember her crying and those people I don’t know; standing up for her. They probably did not know that I was mentally unstable at the time.
I did not want to be in hospital any longer because on admission day they said 1/2 days and it was past that? So I just, got bipolar rage. I really wasn’t there because… How can I hit my own mother? My love,my friend… My everything. Yet you say mental illness is not real or someone can just snap out of it. My mum became afraid of me even, she stayed with me in hospital because I remember it was so bad I couldn’t even bathe myself…I was being bathed. But that night she slept else where. The next morning I think, my physician came and told me what had happened and was like I should apologize to my mum. I was very ashamed,very remorseful…I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know if it’s the same day or not,but I did apologise. The guilt however was so bad, I remember I went to the toilet and sat there, I didn’t want to come out because I just knew everyone was judging me and all of that. The doctor and nurses literally had to come and forcefully drag me out. Gosh! What pain! I really was sick! Apparently I stayed there only 4 days. 4 days?! I really felt like I had stayed there too long, I still do and I’m even shocked. I did not like how I was handled there. It was terrible.
So I returned home. I returned to school some time later and the first night was hard. I felt… Unwell, the side effects of the drugs I was given in hospital. It was hard,anxiety inducing; just returning to the school environment. With the break up as well. I was twitching so bad I couldn’t do anything well: hold anything even shower and walking. I shook every where. My ex was there for me, and I called him when I started shaking, he took me to the school hospital even, together with his friends. He was there for me, I didn’t really have any friends. We eventually got back together. Soon I went for the doctor’s appointment and he immediately recognized that symptom and gave me the necessary drugs to treat the condition. My mum and boyfriend helped with the hospital visit and buying the meds and even just like getting from school to town and back because I was still quite weak. I got better and continued with school.
Till however, end of November and early December, when I felt unwell and decided to go home because we were still in school. So I went home and I was just, not myself. I believe I was severely manic. I had like, these delusions and grandiose beliefs about myself and that I was on an important mission and had special abilities. Once again WhatsApp status just lashing out over there. Angry at everyone, I deleted most of the people’s numbers, telling them to stay away from me because I felt that they didn’t care about me. I was also listening to a lot of music during both episodes. So a lot of time on you tube to get away from it all. I was also suicidal or had suicidal ideations. It was so bad. And even before this I recall some element of hypersexuality some period before both episodes. I couldn’t sleep well, I was restless, extremely moody. I then had to be taken to hospital, to my doctor at the time who was all the way in Nairobi. I was accompanied by my boyfriend at the time and his friend together with my mother. They had come to see me before I left for Nairobi. And I knew that I was probably going to be admitted because I was not doing well at all. It was a nice gesture. I was scared. I didn’t know how long I was gonna be there and it scared me, being away from family and him and school…. It was a lot…
So we went and got a matatu. Started our journey. I was so obsessed with music I was just watching that on you tube almost all the way I think. I had this anger, I don’t know what it was. Hardly talked with mum. And I remember I had this yogurt with me,I drunk it weirdly,or it was probably in my head but I really didn’t give a damn. We reached Nairobi but there was heavy traffic… And it was also during the time the governor of Nairobi had prohibited all public service vehicles from entering the CBD. My goodness it was a mess! I hated him! I literally felt that I would kill him if he by bad chance just happened to be in front of me. I even wished for his death. He really just made everything worse for me. We reached,we don’t know Nairobi and we’re left I don’t know where, it’s getting late, I need to see my doctor. Just a mess!!! We were stranded a while,we walked a little trying to figure things out with other equally sorta confused commuters. We waited somewhere a while, but we were able get a motor bike that got us to the city center, the most harrowing thing, I literally thought I just might die that day. Yaani the corners and the speed and the ducking the police it was scary. Two motorbikes actually. So expensive, that day was just the worst. On calling the clinic, the doctor had already left so we had to wait till the next day. I was so angry. I couldn’t understand why the doctor couldn’t just see me because this was an emergency. There are no PSVs in the CBD, so we had to take a cab. Expensive. Finding a cab itself took a while, wah… I’m getting tired just thinking of that day. We got one went to my uncle’s. My fury towards the governor just increasing because he made me miss the doctor and there I was just suffering. I’ve never been so angry at a human being. We reached at my uncles.
I couldn’t sleep that night, and I insisted something was wrong and we had to go to hospital. So I told my mother and we had to go. My uncle wasn’t there at the time he had traveled with their car I think, and my aunt just had a baby, so she couldn’t do much,we had to call my cousin. So we looked for a cab, went to a certain hospital and I was just like please call my doctor because I’m very depressed. They were doing the usual physical check up but I didn’t understand why they were doing it because my problem wasn’t physical it was mental. So I was like, “how are you treating me? You’re not treating me like you should!” And there was just something with the nurses or whoever they were at that hospital, they were just rude and weren’t patient with me even after revealing the conditions I live with and all that. I was disgusted… And angry, offended so I wanted to leave the hospital. So they allegedly tried to call the doctor he did not pick up or respond or whatever. So I’m wondering how are you a doctor just sleeping somewhere and there’s a patient in need of your care and/or services and you are nowhere to be found? How exactly are you a doctor? Because emergencies happen all.the.time. I just… I could not believe it. I was just having enough of this day and it’s struggles I just was like,I hit that breakdown. It was literally close to midnight and I’m telling you I was suffering, I was very suicidal I even remember in my uncle’s house I almost stabbed myself with a knife when we got back from hospital. Everyone else was sleeping but I couldn’t, just wrote and wrote and entered the kitchen just looking at that knife but the courage failed me to actually kill myself. I’m still upset about this, I think it was very unethical,if I died my blood would be on his hands. Sorry not sorry.
So back to hospital, I am there… Since the doctor can’t be found…allegedly or whatever the f*ck was going on… I was just left there waiting… For a doctor or whoever I don’t know…psychiatrist of that hospital to see me but I highly doubt it was a psychiatrist… It took a while and I just thought… “What exactly is this? How are they treating me like this?” I thought. “I mean if I was involved in a road accident or just came in with whatever manner of physical illness or issue,and I’m literally bleeding; gushing out blood or writhing in pain, I mean would they be this complacent still?” I got furious and was just like I want to leave I can’t stay here anymore I mean this hospital is a joke. They are not treating mental illness with the seriousness it deserves. I clearly wasn’t well, how I looked physically,how I was talking I was not well at all. But the complacency, I did not take it well. Was I wrong for thinking this? Let me know in the comment section below. Or was I delusional and just having a psychotic break?
I wanted to leave,but they wouldn’t let me. My cousin who’d accompanied us was like trying to talk me into staying but I just was so angry and all those thoughts. I could hear none of it. On reaching the gate, wah the beginning of drama began. Mungu wangu, it was terrible. Wah, truly I’ve gone through so much. It stings just remembering. So I reach the gate and I want to leave because the hospital environment is just suffocating me. My mum was doing something inside,I don’t know waiting for the ‘doctor’ or payment…just something. So I was like let me just stand outside the gate and wait for her because I don’t want to be here. The guards, oh my god, I’ll never forget it was a male and female. I don’t know if some other one was there but they man handled me. I’m telling you the way they were holding me back and just like refusing me to just go outside I couldn’t understand. I was screaming and shouting literally fighting with them to let me go. I was crying so loudly it was a whole event. Hitting and being hit, wah it still blows my mind. I don’t understand, I mean is this how you handle a patient? I asked them that. And I specifically remember them laughing at me, “she wants to go outside,who does she think she is and blah blah blah and whatever nonsense they said” Laughing. Wow. I even asked them, “yaani mnacheka?! Mnanichekelea?! Unajua watoto wenu waneza pata hii ugonjwa, unajua unaeza pata hii ugonjwa!!” I died that night. I could not believe what I just went through and laughing…why were they laughing…at me…why? Was there anything to laugh about there? Was it a joke to them?! F*ck them wherever they are! A watchman and you can afford to be so rude,no offense but please…jiheshimu nani! Nkt! I hurled insults at them! I was so vulgar and I didn’t give a damn about those useless people. Clearly I haven’t forgiven them,may God punish you wherever you are! And you know what the irony is… That they work in a hospital…hospitali… I mean, was I the first mentally ill patient to ever step in that hospital? Aren’t they taught how to handle such cases? I mean WHAT THE FUCK?!! I was such a spectacle, people…patients and whoever just came out to see what was going on. A crowd was already building up behind me. I mean what a hospital. I cried,cried, thinking about my life and all the pain I’ve been through and my father I just… I think I sorta dissociated for a minute. I recall crying to my cousin to help me, I still don’t understand what he was doing just watching the whole thing but…yeah… I was sitting on the tarmac,it’s freezing cold past midnight. I’m sitted there with some watchmen and women who think they are the OGs because they just won a fight with a young girl who just wanted to wait outside the gate for my mother so we can leave,laughing their ugly faces off! Heeeeiii…! Lord just have mercy! I called my boyfriend crying told him what was happening and I don’t even know or think he understood me. I think that also was funny to them. I will never forget that night and that hospital, if it is the only one in the world and I’m dying I’d rather die and be buried in whatever way possible but may my body never be taken there. “Chuki ndo nahisi, nikiwaza jinsi… Ulivojitolea kuniudhi,bila matokeo yaani… Chuki…” I mean, hahaha, it just popped into my head! Only the OGs will get it😂
I did not want to go to the hospital completely. Mum finally came out she was given whatever meds and we left,looking for a cab and all. It was a hustle. At some point one of the watch people was approaching us and I was just hurling, shouting insults that they should stay back or I’ll bewitch them, I literally picked up stones to stone whoever it was he had to go back,I don’t know what he wanted but my cousin dealt with it. The cab finally came and on our way back we realized that I had left my bag at the hospital and we had to go back for it; I mean this day, hehe…this was just a day from the devil because…I don’t even know… We went back got the bag and finally got back.I carried my bag because I just knew I was going to be admitted,but lo and behold… There we were. I talked a lot that night wah, I said a lot of things. Things were just flying out. I never even took the meds that hospital gave me.
Morning came. As I said, I hardly slept if not at all. So we freshened up, and I just wanted to go back home, to Nakuru because Nairobi was just too much. I was so angry I remember talking to my therapist at the time on phone and I was just so loud; like I don’t want to go to hospital I want to go home if it is dying I die at home. I had had it. But they talked with mum some more and apparently she pleaded with mum not to take me home. So when we finally left, I’m thinking ey,we are going home. So I’m just there listening to music… Some time later I’m like aii, how come hatujatoka Nairobi it was on a board somewhere. I asked and they were like (mum and my cousin) we’re going to pick up someone or something like that. So I…relaxed, a bit. But then eventually we reached the facility, in a home environment so I didn’t figure that out till we got in and lo and behold, we are in a facility. The anger,wueh… It was on another level.I was like,I’m not alighting this vehicle because I don’t want to be in any hospital in this city. Sishuki na sishuki! Haha, so I still stayed in the car music loud not minding anything. Then I don’t know what made me alight,hehe! I was just… I lost it. Completely.
We were in a facility, or hospital. It’s all quiet and serene. There’s other patients there. I was LOUD! Like really loud. Asking where my mum was,why do they want to keep there,I don’t wanna be there… Scene number 2 in less than 24 hours. I was speaking very rudely to my mother because I remember one of the nurses telling me exactly that. That I’m being very rude or whatever. Mimi hata sikuwa naelewa. I couldn’t understand honestly what she was saying,all I knew was that no one was understanding me,forcing me to stay where I did not want to be. Before that I remember they came tried to get me out of the car but I didn’t budge. So on getting out of the car, I tried to go back but there was no car insight. Apparently they did that because obviously I was not the first one to do that. So immediately the patient gets out of the car if they came in one, the security people tell the drivers to take it else where so that when the patient thinks of going back or whatever they don’t find it. So there was me, seeing that there was no way out of this. I angrily gave in shouting aki, screaming. It was… Terrible. Telling my mum that if she left me there she should just go and never come back and forget that she ever had a child like me. I was even like I’d change my name. I just really thought I’m being taken there to be left there for a really long time, maybe forever. I got in, was shown my room and that’s when things got worse. I got in and there was a cup and plate all made of glass and I smashed them on the ground, pah!Breaking them one after the other,pah! The second sound. I was still reeling in anger still not believing that I’m being left here. No sooner had I broken the utensils than pwah!!! I kicked the door with my right foot so hard, oh my gosh, I literally broke little toe. The door was heavy wood so you can imagine,I was wearing some shoes with light material on the top so… It didn’t help much. After that the nurses came in and were like holding me so tightly sijui to the bed or what, just like trying to restrain me. They were literally like more than two of them ,male,so I’m really strong, haha. Ironically I didn’t feel any pain on my foot till later on when I woke up. I was tranquilized or sedated, whatever it is, and next thing I know I woke in another facility in a dark room. Can’t recall much after that. I was put in a room and that was it. My foot was so swollen, it was swollen actually the whole of December. I couldn’t walk well till 2019. This was an actual hospital setting completely with people just really sick and really out of touch with reality. It was so scary. There were others like me,others depression, others for drug addiction issues there were a number of different people there and different cases. It was however a good facility. After 2 or so days, I was transferred back to the initial facility when I was a lot more calmer, toned down, less violent. Speaking of which I actually hurt a nurse in the initial hospital, I scratched him so badly, I think he’ll forever have a mark. I apologized later on but he was like, it’s okay. It’s the illness. I stayed there for almost two weeks. I got better, and with the exuberant hospital bill increasing, we asked for a discharge and I was discharged. Someone is typically supposed to stay there for two to three months, but the bills… Yoh… The place was really nice, I actually get bouts of wanting to go back because I felt so understood and with people like me and just being taken care of the way I should be taken care of.
So my uncle brought us back home. The journey back I really just was not okay. I kept thinking, is this all for show? Am I going to go to a concert with all my family and friends them congratulating me, that I made it through all these trials and tribulations in my life? Was all this real? Was all this just a test? I recall thinking that I’m going to meet Chris Martin and he was coming to Kenya to marry me and how my entire life would change being married to these beautiful singer who’s music literally saved me from the jaws of death. In the first psychotic episode I also was almost killing myself,I was home alone and literally went to the kitchen took a knife and tried stabbing myself,and I don’t know what I thought I went to you tube and listened to one of his songs and I thought it was me he was singing to. I don’t know how to put it… I got so mesmerised by his music, his lyricism… And in the process of being awed by him, my mum came home,and I was safe.
I continued recovering at home till the next year 2019… Tried to go back to school and all that but I kinda couldn’t. Because catching up with the rest was a problem so I had to defer. So that is my psychosis experience, and I hope not to ever get another again. Have you ever gotten a psychotic episode? What was your experience like? Did you harm yourself or anyone?What caused it? Have you had a friend or loved one experience psychosis? How did it affect you? How did you handle the patient and the situation? Any questions,comments,suggestions,compliments anything at all you’d like to share with me? Feel free. This is like home and I’m inviting you all in and get comfortable. You can leave a comment down below or send me an email or reach out to me on my other social media platforms.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. Till next time… Byyyyeee! You are seen and you are loved and as always; You Are Not Alone. Mel.
Hello everyone! If you are new here, my name is Melvis Mogambi. Welcome and welcome back to my blog. Today I wanna talk about what life is like with bipolar disorder and even my diagnosis story.
Disclaimer: There’s talk of suicide in this post. Kindly do not read if you are likely to be triggered.
I’m really struggling at the moment with depression. I feel empty, I feel really confused. Like why am I still here despite wanting to die a few days ago? What is my worth? It’s not that I want to live, I’m just pushing forward because of…my loved ones. I really was dying on Monday,Tuesday… I wanted to die so badly because the pain, the pain was overwhelming. I cried in the night, and I thought, “I wish they could see this;these tears,feel this pain. Curled up in bed struggling to breathe because I don’t want anybody to hear me; heart wrenching,chest paining,suffocating pain.” And it’s not even the first time, I’ve had outbursts of tears and crying like thrice in the past couple of weeks. Crying nonstop, for hours on end,till my eyes are red and swollen. Painful to even just,see. The whole time just asking God, “Why? Why?”
I would also like to apologize because it’s been a whole week without me writing anything. I felt terribly guilty for that. And it’s not because I don’t have content; it’s just… I couldn’t. I couldn’t just sit down and concentrate,or my brain would just have too many thoughts… But mostly I think fear. Fear of being judged,because bipolar is one of those things that people don’t typically talk about and it has a lot. A lot of things that people don’t want to talk about. What would people think? You know. And me being vulnerable and open invites a lot of criticism and negative feedback. But I cannot be triggered, I am dealing with my sh*t in the best way I know how. This is my story and I’m owning my truth. No one can come here telling me whatever to trigger me. I am a leader, YOU. CANNOT. TRIGGER. ME. PERIOD. You cannot even live a day of my life and you’re here running your mouth. Please, if that is your agenda let me just put it out there straight: there is no room for such negativity here. We are here to learn,empower, support and grow with each other. Anything other than that has got to go!Ah, just what it’s like living with chronic illness, but now that I have some energy to write… Let’s go,let’s get it!
So I live with bipolar. Bipolar 1 in specific. I talked about bipolar disorder and the types, in depth in one of my previous posts. I’ll link it down below; if you haven’t checked it out you can do so right now or even after reading this. Whatever is comfortable by you!
I’ve been living in a fog, a heavy, suffocating mist that obscures my reality. This is the shame bubble, a silent tormentor that has consumed me since my recent manic episode. Can I break free from its grasp?
The world outside moves on, oblivious to the storm raging within. I’m a ghost, haunting the halls of my own existence. The isolation is crushing, and the loneliness is all-consuming.
I wake up each day, a prisoner in my own body. The weight of chronic illness and mental health struggles presses down on me, leaving me exhausted and hopeless.
Bipolar Disorder. Hey there warriors! Happy New Month! Wishing you lots of love, money, success and healing. Oh, for those who are new here my name is Melvis Mogambi, a mental health and chronic illness advocate, welcome and welcome back to the Kintsugi Family. It is diabetes awareness month as well, so send me thoseContinue reading “Ways to relax.”
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2012, June/July. I was in highschool at the time, form 2. I had experienced symptoms of depression before hand. I could tell something was wrong and something wasn’t quite right. I was really low for a long time;unhappy, I wasn’t enjoying the things I used to find pleasure in,being unable to enjoy things, I lost my self confidence a big one,feeling like I want to cry even for no apparent reason,I felt so useless,hopeless and inadequate, thinking of suicide. Right now I’m also experiencing irritability on another level,I get so angry at literally everything and everyone. Do you experience the same? Let me know in the comment section below.
I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t look at things positively;kinda still struggle with this,finding it hard to make even the simplest of decisions. I at times didn’t really eat well and other times I would eat in excess, I had difficulty sleeping even if I was tired,sometimes I would wake up earlier than usual, I would feel so utterly tired as well. I would avoid contact with other people;I’ve always been the quiet one ever since primary school, didn’t really talk much but once in a while I would interact with others and all that, I’m an introvert as well so I guess it just became; double the introversion, my grades also took a huge hit; it was so bad, I would cry a lot and also have trouble starting or completing things even everyday chores. I experience all of these symptoms to this day. I’ve explained the emotional,thinking,physical and behavioural changes I experience in depression, let’s go to mania.
Well for mania, I notice that I am very happy and excited,I feel more important than usual,irritable with other people who don’t share the same optimistic outlook,hearing voices that other people can’t hear,full of new and exciting ideas and moving quickly from one idea to another. At these time I’m also so full of energy, unwilling or unable to sleep, more interested in sex. I also sometimes make plans that are grandiose or unrealistic,I’m very active as well, I talk so quickly and even loudly at times- other people don’t understand or just think I’m being extra. Recklessly spending money; gosh this one really stings. Making odd decisions on the spur of the moment,most times with disastrous consequences. Wah, The things I’ve done… I just look back and say ” How could I have done this? This is not me.” I just… I cannot believe it honestly and it breaks my heart that I did such things because of an illness. I don’t even know how honestly. Not everyone I met or was with knew that, and there are others that knew and chose to take advantage of me and the situation. Not only did bipolar rob me off of my sanity, it robbed me off of my life! Because the real me is so idealistic,so so idealistic.
Being over familiar or recklessly critical with other people. Sometimes I just say things especially to family and it’s like, “woah it wasn’t that serious!” Or “why would I even say that.” In my head I’m not saying anything wrong but to the other party I’m really hurting their feelings you know. And it sucks, I would like to apologize to anyone who’s been with me at those times and words just flew out. I’m so sorry. It’s not me, it’s bipolar. To add on to that I am generally less inhibited. I’m just out here doing things and it’s like how could I and why can’t I stop myself?
So after the depressive episode, I had a manic episode in school. Uuh it was a mess, lol. My classmates and cubemates walijionea. Y’all are the real OGs wherever you are. I miss y’all so much by the way if you ever come across this hit me up tafadhali *chukles* Oh, and even before this I tried to commit suicide. There was a time in school I remember I just felt so inadequate,so worthless; I was just like why bother anyone with my existence,I’m putting mum through so much and it went on and on and on… And I just wanted to end it all especially with the academia, I just thought what is…I mean how stupid could I be surely? And it’s not that I’m not reading because I did but when it came to performance it was just like…” Have you ever been to class? I mean?” Haha,wah… Shida. So one night I decided I was gonna end it all, I took an excess insulin shot and just slept hoping that I didn’t wake up the next morning. Next thing I hear in the morning is a siren I think and me being dressed or something, I just remember my highschool mum dealing with the ambulance and the matron, I really don’t remember much but I was taken to the sanatorium and I was treated.
I remember just saying everything that I just couldn’t do it anymore and all of that. Mum was called. The doctor was really nice I remember. He was so humane and kind… I love how he handled me. All through the time I was there because I was a sanatorium frequent, I’ll never forget him though I cannot remember the name. I recall him telling mum that I probably didn’t want to kill myself I just wanted to I don’t know,show how difficult it was living with diabetes at the time? Trying to console my mum or something. I was later on admitted and checked out by a psychiatrist and went back to school. The school hospital at the time was so nice they sent me a card in hospital, it’s the little things in life for sure. My uncles gave me a visit as well.
So on returning, of course no one knew anything they just thought it’s the diabetes again and it’s ups and downs. I got back and things got back to normal, I guess till one fateful evening,hehee. I honestly don’t remember the details so well, I think there’s something with memory loss and and bipolar or trauma… I often feel like there’s a lot I don’t typically remember or recall as I should. This is me now drifting off topic,but that evening I was so happy and excited, full of energy! I was talkative, generally less inhibited and the singing wuuuiii aki the things I was doing, I don’t know… I sang… I sang literally the whole prep inside class in front of everyone. I was drumming on my desk and humming… I’m telling you the whole shebang’. Mark you it was preps time, there’s people who want to study aki ya nani. I was making noise ati mpaka I was telling people to send me their requests; goodness me, disastrous is not even the word. I don’t know if anyone tried to…keep me quiet,and how no teacher walked by or heard the commotion…I don’t know, but I remember some peeps coming to check out the quite girl suddenly gone psycho;word got round, I think. Even after preps the energy and the singing…wah, I was so active…I am sure it was a Friday because we were cleaning and whatever,and I barely slept. I just remember waking up too early singing going to shower. Till the matron probably saw this girl is not alright. I don’t remember much after that, I just remember being shocked when I was told mum has come for you. When she was called I have no idea, but she came for me and we went.
Think we went to the psychiatrist in Nakuru first off. Think I was given a sedative drug, I slept a lot,because since I left school,saw the doctor, I slept somewhere in between till the following day. The following day we left for Nairobi to see one of the best psychiatrists in the country for a second opinion. Again my life changing for ever.
This part I truly hardly remember anything, but mum tells me we had our consultation and the diagnosis of bipolar 1 disorder. I was allegedly told this but I don’t remember, at all. Till a few years ago when I found out through a prescription somewhere or just something written bipolar disorder I thought I was living with depression. That’s what I even told some who asked. On the realization I remember I was so angry with the psychiatrist and my mum for withholding such crucial information from me because it had already impacted my life in a huge way especially since I was in campus at the time and I didn’t know or understand why I was like that or doing some things you know. I was so upset. I don’t know, maybe I blocked that piece of information to cope I don’t know. But apparently I don’t remember and mum chose to keep it from me so that I could actually live, because ever since I found out it’s like things just got worse. I can’t stop thinking about it,it’s just always there. She was right, sometimes I wish I never found out, because as of now I can’t name any single positive of living with bipolar disorder. Nothing. All it’s done is just take,take,take from me. It’s like having a family member living with cancer, most families actually keep that information from the patient because them knowing, actually like kills their spirits. If they don’t know their survival rates increase, visa vi, just letting them know that they have cancer or whatever chronic illness, I totally get that direction.
So I was diagnosed and taken to a facility, where I stayed 9 days. And the doctor said that I shouldn’t go back to school yet till the next term which was third term… So I missed quite a lot of school work and my chance to do music with it. Ah, I will never forget. I think I went back sometime later for my books and that’s it. Just kept on catching up ever since it seems.
Since then, things were different but I really didn’t understand why; all the mentioned symptoms till 2017/2018… And it all made sense. The anxiety,the overwhelm,the sadness, the impulsivity,poor judgment,the not so much talked about symptom of hypersexuality, hyperfocusing on something when I’m able to do it finally,finding it hard to start something or be consistent; alladat. It made sense, somehow.
I’ve had psychotic episodes as well. Nothing is as scary as that. I cannot even find the words. It’s like a demon takes control of you because you have no control over your thoughts, emotions, actions, behavior all of that. I shudder, I’ve had this twice in the last couple of years… 2018/2019 to be exact and I had to defer my studies because of this sh*t. I hate it totally. But slowly, I am healing. I’ll talk about the psychotic episodes in another post because my posts are already quite long as it is.
Do you prefer them this long or should I tone it down a notch? Let me know. I’m so glad you read my post. Share with me your diagnosis story, what was your experience like? Was it hard to get the correct diagnosis? Whether you live with bipolar or any other mental illness, or you have a friend,relative or loved one living with the same. This is your home. You are welcome here and we don’t judge. This is a safe space for all of you, especially the youth and I would very much like to interact with you. I’m inviting you all to share your experience with me. You never know how your story might impact someone. Encourage us and give us hope.
Bipolar is like a roller coaster sometimes you are up sometimes you down other times you are just in that nice stable place. Sometimes you are all over the place. That is me, I do get my episodes and I also am stable and functioning. I know I’ll always get them,and every day is something different and I’m learning,everyday how to live with this. If I could do this, you can too! Till next time, byyyeee! You are seen, you matter, you are enough, you are loved and as always You are not alone.
Hey you! Yes you beautiful! It is another beautiful day we have been blessed with that we may rejoice and be glad in it. Welcome to my blog, my name is Melvis Mogambi and I’m so glad you stopped by! Feel right at home. 😊
Today as promised, I want to go a little bit deeper into one of the conditions I live with and that is Type 1 diabetes.
So I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes also called juvenile diabetes in 2006 when I was 9yrs old. So from then till now it’s about 14yrs living with the condition. For those of you who don’t know Diabetes arises when an individual cannot make enough insulin or the insulin that he or she does make is ineffective at controlling blood glucose levels. Insulin is a hormone (chemical messenger) that is critical for maintaining healthy life. It causes too much blood glucose (sugar) to build up in the blood. There are 2 main types of diabetes. Type 1 diabetes occurs when your body doesn’t produce any insulin. It is sometimes called juvenile diabetes because it is usually discovered in children and teenagers, but it may appear in adults, too.Type 2 diabetes occurs when your body doesn’t produce enough insulin or doesn’t use the insulin as it should. Read more in my previous blog, down below.
I’ve been living in a fog, a heavy, suffocating mist that obscures my reality. This is the shame bubble, a silent tormentor that has consumed me since my recent manic episode. Can I break free from its grasp?
The world outside moves on, oblivious to the storm raging within. I’m a ghost, haunting the halls of my own existence. The isolation is crushing, and the loneliness is all-consuming.
I was in standard 4 at the time and I started showing the symptoms. I was very thirsty, I was passing more urine than normal. My gosh the excessive urination is no joke, even in the night I remember struggling to go pee in the middle of the night. And then the tiredness, fatigue or drowsiness. I used to struggle so much in school and when I’d reach home I’d be completely run down. Exhausted, I would just plaster myself in bed when I got home. Bouts of hunger… Extreme hunger as well, I’d be so hungry even when I just ate a few minutes before. And also I remember I had hurt my left foot…just at the back close to my ankle but not quite. Just a scratch I think from a nail or something like that and it took quite some time to heal.
Symptoms of diabetes
Symptoms vary from person to person. The early stages of diabetes have very few symptoms. You may not know you have the disease. But damage may already be happening to your eyes, your kidneys, and your cardiovascular system. Common symptoms include:
Extreme hunger.
Extreme thirst.
Frequent urination.
Unexplained weight loss.
Fatigue or drowsiness.
Blurry vision.
Slow-healing wounds, sores, or bruises.
Dry, itchy skin.
Tingling or numbness in the hands or feet.
Frequent or recurring skin, gum, bladder, or vaginal yeast infections.
People who have type 2 diabetes also may show signs of insulin resistance. This includes darkening skin around the neck or in the armpits, high blood pressure, cholesterol problems, yeast infections, and skipped or absent periods in teen girls and women.
Uncontrolled type 2 diabetes also might include:
Nausea or vomiting more than once.
Deeper, faster breathing.
The smell of nail polish remover coming from your breath.
Weakness, drowsiness, trembling, confusion, or dizziness.
Uncoordinated muscle movement.
If diabetes is left untreated, your blood sugar levels become too high. When this happens, symptoms may include shortness of breath, pain in the abdomen, vomiting, dehydration, and even coma and death.
What causes Type 1 diabetes?
In type 1 diabetes, your body doesn’t make insulin. This is because the immune system attacks and destroys the cells in the pancreas that make the insulin. Doctors aren’t sure why this happens.
So for the most part, I didn’t think something was wrong… Or you know I was sick. We didn’t know nothing. So it went on for a while till finally my mother noticed something wasn’t quite right. How extremely tired I was especially after school kinda sent a red flag in her radar and one day after school… Some time in July… She saw again, me just lying so fatigued in bed and was like; we got to get you checked out.
We lived in Langata, Nairobi at the time and we just went to a clinic. Had our consultation and they checked my blood glucose levels and it was high. They of course probably told me and my mum but I was probably too young to understand at the time. They said that I had to be admitted and the doctor there referred us to a certain hospital where I could be admitted. Hired a car and off we went. Little did I know our lives more so mine was about to change forever.
So we got there and treatment started. Uuh the horrors of being put on drip and being pumped intravenous fluids. My heart breaks thinking of this moment. The amount of finger pricks from checking the blood glucose levels almost 5/6 times every day. The not so good readings. The insulin shots… Can you imagine all this happening to a 9 year old girl? I cannot imagine the pain my mother went through seeing all that. She is incredibly strong and brave. She had to leave my then a year or slightly less than a year old brother to stay with me in hospital. Finally my blood glucose levels were controlled and I was released from hospital. Two weeks or so later. I remember the bill was horrendous and even at my young age then I felt really bad about that… Guilty even. All the pricks and insulin shots, the IV fluids, I remember they even were billing the toilet paper we were using! My gosh… I shudder just thinking about it. But God. He came through. He provided.
How is diabetes diagnosed?
After examining you, discussing your symptoms, and going over your health history, your doctor may test for diabetes if he or she suspects you are at risk. To check for diabetes, your doctor may request the following tests:
Fasting blood sugar test. This test is usually done in the morning, after an 8-hour fast (not eating or drinking anything except water for 8 hours before the test). The blood test involves inserting a small needle into a vein in your arm to withdraw blood. That blood will be sent to a lab for testing. If your blood sugar level is 126 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL) or higher, your doctor will probably want to repeat the test. A blood sugar level of 126 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL) or higher on 2 occasions indicates diabetes. Test results from 100 mg per dL to 125 mg per dL suggest normal blood sugar level.
Oral glucose tolerance test. During this test, you will drink a beverage containing 75 grams of glucose dissolved in water. This tastes like sweet water. Two hours later, a doctor or nurse will measure the amount of glucose in your blood. A blood sugar level of 200 mg/dL or higher indicates diabetes.
Random blood sugar test. This test measures the level of glucose in your blood at any time of day. It doesn’t matter when you last ate. Combined with symptoms of diabetes, a blood glucose level of 200 mg/dL or higher indicates diabetes.
A1C blood test. This test provides information about a person’s average levels of blood glucose over the previous 3 months. The results are reported as a percentage. A normal A1C level is below 5.7 percent. If your A1C is higher than that, it means your blood sugar has been higher than normal. A test result of 6.5 percent or above indicates diabetes. A result between 5.7 and 6.4 indicates prediabetes.
The AAFP recommends screening adults for type 2 diabetes as part of a heart risk assessment for people between the ages of 40 and 70 years who are overweight or obese. Doctors are encouraged to offer or refer patients with abnormal blood glucose levels to behavioral counseling to promote a healthy diet and physical activity.
I was so brave… I remember the two of us,mum and I;being taught how to inject the insulin shots, and being told about the diet… I was so keen,learning… I think mum injected me probably once or twice; but even then I always took the insulin shots myself. I didn’t want her to do it. Even the change in diet I…think I adjusted too smoothly per say. I just,adjusted…adapted.I cannot imagine the anxiety and fear mum must have had,one minute I am healthy the next there’s injections and pricks and meals…all these new things that had to change for your child. The hypos and the hypers were particularly the hardest part,one time the hypos were so bad and many during the night; and you know they can kill,they are actually fatal, mum had to sleep with me to check on me and help me out when I had a low in the middle of the night. Bless her heart. Shout out to all type 1 parents! You all are the real MVPs! I celebrate you all today. It’s not easy,every night going to sleep knowing your child could die in the middle of the night… That thought scared me when I was little; still does,and every day with it’s set of challenges but still you keep going. I cannot thank you enough honestly, no words suffice. The hypers particularly when I went to the hospital for an appointment,there was a time I used to go for check-ups and for every one I would be admitted because the sugars were too high. It reached a point I had a real phobia of going to hospital or appointments.
I don’t think the difference really hit me, because I was just a child depending fully on my parents: till I joined highschool. Where now for the first time, ever, I was on my own; with so many other different students from all over and there I was eating brown rice and lots of veggies or boiled meat and brown ugali,brown chapati,brown bread and sugarless tea… And taking my meds especially the shots; it was not easy. At the time I took injections twice every day,which was kinda…better, considering the hustle and bustle of school life. There was a difference at home too,my other siblings would eat different meals,yes, and I would feel bad at times but my mother did her best for what I should eat to be like something the whole family could eat. At that time we didn’t know that I could pretty much eat anything and everything just with moderation.Ah, life oh life. We made it anyways. And we are still learning.
Can diabetes be prevented or avoided?
Talk to your doctor about your risk factors for diabetes. Although you may not be able to change all of them, you can make changes to significantly lower your risk.
Exercise and weight control. Exercising and maintaining a healthy weight can reduce your risk of diabetes. Any amount of activity is better than none. Try to exercise for 30 to 60 minutes most days of the week. Always talk with your doctor before starting an exercise program.
Diet. A diet high in fat, calories, and cholesterol increases your risk of diabetes. A poor diet can lead to obesity (another risk factor for diabetes) and other health problems. A healthy diet is high in fiber and low in fat, cholesterol, salt, and sugar. Also, remember to watch your portion size. How much you eat is just as important as what you eat.
Diabetes treatment
Although diabetes can’t be cured, you can still live a long and healthy life. The single most important thing you can do is control your blood sugar level. You can do this by eating right, exercising, maintaining a healthy weight, and, if needed, taking oral medicines or insulin.
Diet. Your diet should include lots of complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains), fruits, and vegetables. It’s important to eat at least 3 meals per day and never skip a meal. Eat at about the same time every day. This helps keep your insulin or medicine and sugar levels steady. Avoid empty calories, such as foods high in sugar and fat, or alcohol.
Exercise. Exercising helps your body use insulin and lower your blood sugar level. It also helps control your weight, gives you more energy, and is good for your overall health. Exercise also is good for your heart, your cholesterol levels, your blood pressure, and your weight. These are all factors that can affect your risk of heart attack and stroke. Talk with your doctor about starting an exercise program.
Maintain a healthy weight. Losing excess weight and maintaining a healthy body weight will help you in 2 ways. First, it helps insulin work better in your body. Second, it will lower your blood pressure and decrease your risk for heart disease.
Take your medicine. If your diabetes can’t be controlled with diet, exercise, and weight control, your doctor may recommend medicine or insulin. Most people who have type 2 diabetes start with an oral medicine (taken by mouth). Oral medicines can make your body produce more insulin. They also help your body use the insulin it makes more efficiently. Some people need to add insulin to their bodies with insulin injections, insulin pens, or insulin pumps. Always take medicines exactly as your doctor prescribes. Oral medicine doesn’t work for everyone. It is not effective in the treatment of type 1 diabetes. Insulin therapy is necessary for all people who have type 1 diabetes and for some people who have type 2 diabetes. If you need insulin, you’ll have to give yourself a shot (either with a syringe or with an insulin pen). Your doctor will tell you which kind of medicine you should take and why.
Your doctor will test your blood sugar every 3 months with an A1C test. Also, you can test your blood sugar on your own throughout the day. You will need to use a blood glucose monitor to check it on your own. This involves pricking your finger for blood and putting a test strip in the blood to get the results. If your blood sugar gets too low, you might feel tired, experience problems with muscle coordination, sweat, have difficulty thinking or speaking clearly, twitch, feel like you’re going to faint, become pale, lose consciousness, or have a seizure. At the earliest sign of any of these symptoms, eat or drink something that will raise your blood sugar fast. This could include candy, juice, milk, or raisins. If you don’t feel better in 15 minutes or if monitoring shows that your blood sugar level is still too low, eat or drink another item to raise your blood sugar fast. Always keep a supply of these items on hand for emergencies.
You may not know if your blood sugar is too high unless you test it yourself. However, you may experience common symptoms such as frequent urination, extreme thirst, blurry vision, and feeling tired. Some factors unrelated to food can make your blood sugar high. This includes not taking your insulin correctly, overeating at a meal, illness, having hormonal changes, and stress.
If your blood sugar level is too high and you take insulin, you may need to take an extra dose of rapid- or short-acting insulin to return it to normal. Your doctor can tell you how much insulin you need to take to lower your blood sugar level.
Living with diabetes
Living with diabetes… Well… Sucks for luck of a better word. It becomes especially harder for me because I live with bipolar 1. I didn’t use to exercise at first because we thought any thing strenuous was a no no. I ate well, most times, especially in highschool because of the routine & discipline and all of that. But the real problems began in campus. Uuuh child, now here you are just thrown in a world where you have to learn how to be independent. So I was called to a university close to home,couldn’t live in a house of my own because I mean…home is just here, *eye roll while chuckling* and I didn’t want to commute from home; I mean who does hahaha. At that age we are all so eager to be far from home,practicing our independence and just living life you know. And so there I was; a bipolar, diabetic girl in campus. Innocent as can be,anyways not to drift off topic, the reality was too different than I thought it could ever be.
I couldn’t cook in my room because the school doesn’t allow that. The hustle of the tiny kitchenettes and the many students and the school schedule… I just could not. So I survived mostly on bought food or food from the mess. My gosh it’s difficult,taking the meds and shots and the stares and the talk… The questions… Hypos and hypers not caring whether I have class or not. Class hours clashing with meal hours or shot times, aki ya nani. It was so overwhelming at some point I think I just burnt out… I didn’t care what I ate,how much,what time,what I did… I mean how is it possible to live with so many rules in this typa setting? I thought? As long as I’m taking the shots and the meds then I’m good. It’s so tiring… Wish there was such a thing as cheat day in diabetes. But there is none, 24/7 work all day,every day, no off days, continuous endless work. Basically taking on the work your pancreas is supposed to be doing for you. Shout out to all type 1 warriors! We do this all day every day with smiles and all. We are strong! We are so brave! We got this!
I sometimes lived in plain denial,that it’s not there. I wanted so badly to believe that,but it doesn’t even give me the space to breathe because I’ve got to take these shots and meds and whatever and I’m reminded daily; “hey,I’m still right here.” I get so angry and bitter sometimes, with God,friends,family,everyone; I question “why me?” sometimes. Sometimes I think if only I didn’t have this then I’d be further in life or I wouldn’t have lost that or I’d have more friends and a much better more interesting life… If only I got healed you know… I get downright depressed; don’t wanna get out of bed,crying so hard,not showering,not eating so well and just eating because my body can’t function without food and alladat… Not wanting to talk to anyone and just wanting to be alone. But I am slowly learning to accept what this is,that I live with this,it’s chronic,it’s not going away so I might as well just make friends with it. That I have to do what’s best for me, because I’m the one who’s living with myself. I’m the one who’s gonna face the consequences of my choices. I gotta own it,own my story and just let God’s strength be made perfect in all of this. Right now I’m injecting four times a day and I’m doing so well, if I do say so myself!
You can live a normal life with well-controlled diabetes. However, you have to pay attention to your diet, weight, exercise, and medicine. If you don’t control your diabetes, you will have too much glucose in your blood. This can lead to serious health problems, including heart disease and damage to the nerves and kidneys. These are known as diabetic complications. Complications include:
Diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This makes it hard for your nerves to send messages to your brain and other parts of the body. You may lose feeling in parts of your body or have a painful, tingling, or burning feeling. Neuropathy most often affects the feet and legs. If you have neuropathy, you may not be able to feel a sore on your foot. The sore can become infected. In serious cases, the foot may have to be amputated (removed). People who have neuropathy may continue walking on a foot that has damaged joints or bones. This can lead to a condition called Charcot foot. Charcot foot causes swelling and instability in the injured foot. It can also cause the foot to become deformed. However, this problem can often be avoided. Check your feet every day. See your doctor immediately if you see swelling, redness, and feel warmth in your foot. These can be signs of Charcot foot. Your doctor should also check your feet frequently. Neuropathy also can cause erectile dysfunction in men and vaginal dryness in women.
Diabetic retinopathy (eye problems). This affects the part of your eye called the retina. It is the part of the eye that is sensitive to light and sends messages to your brain about what you see. Diabetes can damage and weaken the small blood vessels in the retina. When the blood vessels of your retina are damaged, fluid can leak from them and cause swelling in your macula. The macula is the part of the retina that gives you sharp, clear vision. Swelling and fluid can cause blurry vision. This makes it hard for you to see. If retinopathy gets worse, it may lead to blindness. Laser surgery can often be used to treat or slow down retinopathy if found early. People who have diabetes should have an eye exam once a year. See your doctor if you have blurry vision for more than 2 days, sudden loss of vision in 1 or both eyes, black or moving gray spots often called “floaters,” flashing lights, or pain or pressure in your eyes.
Diabetic nephropathy (kidney damage). This is damage to the blood vessels in your kidneys. This means your kidneys have trouble filtering out waste. Some people who have nephropathy will eventually need dialysis (a machine treatment that eliminates waste from the blood) or a kidney transplant. The risk for nephropathy is increased if you have both diabetes and high blood pressure, so it is important to control both of these conditions. Protein in the urine is usually the first sign of nephropathy. This should be checked yearly.
Heart disease and stroke. People who have diabetes are at greater risk for heart disease and stroke. The risk is even greater for people who have diabetes and smoke, have high blood pressure, have a family history of heart disease, or are overweight. Heart disease is easiest to treat when it is caught early. It is very important to see your doctor on a regular basis. He or she can test for early signs of heart disease. This includes checking cholesterol levels. If your cholesterol is higher than the recommended level, your doctor will talk to you about lifestyle changes and medicine to help get your cholesterol under control.
The longer your diabetes is uncontrolled, the more damage you do to your health. That’s why treatment is important at any age. Keeping blood sugar levels very close to the ideal can minimize, delay, and in some cases even prevent the problems that diabetes can cause.
Questions to ask your doctor
Can your diabetes get worse even if you do everything right?
How can I tell the difference between Charcot foot and gout in my foot?
Can I prevent gestational diabetes?
Will the babies of a mom with gestational diabetes develop diabetes?
Thank you so much for reading my blog. I know it was a little long but I gotta give you my absolute best, what’s the point of giving you any less? Please remember to share this with one and all. If you have any questions or comments or suggestions you can get in touch with me or leave a comment down below. Share with me your diagnosis story,what was your experience like? Did you struggle to get the right diagnosis? Feel free to share with me your story. I’m all yours. All ears. I love you all so much and remember; you are beautiful,you are enough,you matter,you are loved and You are not Alone. Mel.
Hi there resilent being! That’s worth celebrating! Welcome to my blog my name is Melvis Mogambi,a counseling psychologist based in Nakuru,Kenya. Feel right at home 😊 This being the second of May I’d like to wish you all a lovely new month. May God shower you with abundant blessings,abundant peace,abundant joy, abundant love, opportunities and good health. Every spiritual blessing in abundance basically.
May is also Mental health awareness month. How exciting is that! It is a month where we get to normalise the discussion of mental health without fear, raising awareness,educating, ending the silence and the stigma. Do not be ashamed to get help. It is okay not to be okay. Talk to somebody,but more so a professional who will guide you towards the right path,help you in the right way. Let me know what you want to know. Don’t hesitate.
I live with type 1 diabetes and bipolar 1 disorder. I’ll get into each one individually as we go along. I talked about bipolar in my previous post you can check that out down below. And today we are looking at diabetes. Let’s go,let’s get it!
Kenya is one of the 48 countries of the IDF African region. 463 million people have diabetes in the world and more than 19 million people inr the AFR Region; by 2045 it will be around 47 million.
Total adult population:25,587,600 Prevalence of diabetes in adults:2.2% Total cases of diabetes in adults:552,400
Jotham Angatia being injected with insulin by his wife, Electine, at their Ibokolo home in Butere, Kakamega County. He has battled diabetes for 39 years. [Nanjinia Wamuswa, Standard].
Every November 14, World Diabetes Day is marked to raise awareness on the disease whose prevalence experts warn will shoot past projections if rising trends of obesity are not controlled.
Diabetes — a chronic, incurable, costly and increasingly but largely preventable non-communicable disease — is responsible for millions of deaths annually.It affects about one in every 11 adults worldwide and increases the risk of heart attack, stroke, blindness, kidney failure and limb amputation.In Kenya, the prevalence of diabetes mellitus is reported at 2.7 per cent (rural) and 10.7 per cent (urban), with over 3.3 per cent of the population affected and an additional 7 per cent un-diagnosed.
According to a Ministry of Health official, there are about 468,000 adults with diabetes in Kenya.
Below are some key facts on diabetes:
What is diabetes
It occurs in two ways; either when the pancreas does not produce enough insulin or when the body cannot effectively use the insulin it produces.
Insulin is the hormone in our body that regulates blood sugar.In essence, the insulin allows glucose from the food we eat to pass from the bloodstream into the cells in the body to produce energy.
Illustrated vector diagram of how insulin works. [Getty Images]
Types of diabetes
Type 1 diabetes
Previously known as insulin-dependent, juvenile or childhood-onset.Patients cannot produce insulin and have to depend on a daily injection of the hormone.Cause is not known and it largely affects children and young adults.There is no known way to prevent type 1 diabetes which is characterised by excessive excretion of urine (polyuria), thirst (polydipsia), constant hunger, weight loss, vision changes, and fatigue.
Type 2 diabetes
Formerly called non-insulin-dependent, or adult-onset and occurs when your body can not effectively use the insulin it produces.It is associated with age, overweight, hypertension, abnormal cholesterol levels, an inactive lifestyle, stroke and genetic factors. It accounts for up to 95 per cent of all diagnosed cases of diabetes.Symptoms may be similar to those of type 1 diabetes but are often less marked.Women who have had four or more pregnancies are at increased risk of developing Type 2 diabetes later in life.
Gestational diabetes
It is a form of hyperglycaemia (too much glucose in the blood) in which blood glucose values are above normal but below those diagnostic of diabetes.Scientists say it is a form of glucose intolerance diagnosed in some women during pregnancy.Women with gestational diabetes are at an increased risk of complications during pregnancy and at delivery.They have up to 50 per cent chance of developing diabetes in the next 5 to 10 years.
Who is most affected?
Those in low- and middle-income countries, who are middle-aged (45-64) and not elderly (65+).
Morbidity and Complications
It can lead to heart disease and strokes, high blood pressure, blindness, and damage to the kidneys. It also causes infections and gum disease.The overall risk of dying among people with diabetes is at least double that for non-sufferers.
Treatment
There is no cure for diabetes and treatment involves lowering blood glucose and other known risk factors.
How to manage diabetes
Nakuru residents undergo diabetics screening. Managing the disease in Kenya is a huge challenge owing to a lack of general awareness about diabetes and its complications, and scarcity of healthcare personnel, monitoring equipment and even drugs. [Mercy Kahenda, Standard]
Some of the options but not limited to those listed include:
Keeping blood glucose level under control to prevent urological and other diabetes-related problems
Balancing your meals with the right amounts of starches, fruits and vegetables, fats and proteins
Taking meals in small portions spread across many meals in a day
Avoiding excess sugar, especially in carbonated drinks such as soda
Avoiding stress
Treatment of diabetes in men involves options to treat erectile dysfunction including injections with hormones prescribed by health experts.Urologists and endocrinologist also prescribe treatment for low testosterone. Testosterone is the male sex hormone key in regulating fertility in men.
Facts and figures
In 2017:
Approximately 425 million adults (20-79 years) were living with diabetes; by 2045 this will rise to 629 million.
More than 1,106,500 children were living with type 1 diabetes
79 per cent of adults with diabetes were living in low- and middle-income countries
The greatest number of people with diabetes were between 40 and 59 years of age
Diabetes caused 4 million deaths
352 million people were at risk of developing type 2 diabetes
IDF Diabetes Atlas Eighth Edition 2017. [Courtesy, International Diabetes Foundation]
Sources: World Health Organization, British National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, International Diabetes Foundation, Standard
Thank you for reading my blog. Remember, You are not alone. Stay safe. You got this. ❤
Hi there reader! My name is Melvis Mogambi, welcome to my blog! So today we are going to talk about bipolar disorder (sometimes called bipolar affective disorder or manic depression) This is for anyone who wants to know more about bipolar. It is especially helpful for anyone who has bipolar disorder,their friends and relatives. Many patients prefer the term “bipolar” rather than “bipolar disorder” as they have an illness not a disorder.We are going to cover:
the disorder
some of the problems it can create
ways of coping
some of the treatments available
WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Bipolar disorder used to be called ‘manic depression’. As the older name suggests, someone with bipolar disorder will have severe mood swings. These usually last several weeks or months and are far beyond what most of us experience. They are:
Low or ‘depressive’ feelings of intense depression and despair High or ‘manic’ feelings of extreme happiness and elation Mixed for example, depressed mood with the restlessness and over activity of a manic episode.
One in four Kenyans (11.5 million people) suffer from one or a combination of mental disorders. These include mood disorders, thinking disorders and behaviour disorders such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia and substance-induced psychosis. Research has also shown that between 20 to 40 per cent of Kenyans seeking outpatient treatment have one or more mental disorders. From the Daily Nation 2018.
With proper diagnosis after psychiatric review, a condition like bipolar disorder can be treated and managed.
And while there are less than 100 psychiatrists in Kenya, general doctors can help diagnose and refer the patient to a specialist.
Bipolar disorder, in particular, is diagnosed after psychological evaluation of the patient’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns. One of the key symptoms is racing thoughts (too many ideas at the same time that are difficult to articulate).
Drugs are not easily accessible. Due to some of the challenges of accessing treatment, patients often turn to alcohol or bhang for relief and become dependent. This worsens their condition since drugs like alcohol act on the same brain region as many antidepressants, and often make depression symptoms worse.
In addition, the mind-altering chemicals in bhang and alcohol do not help sustain mental stability.
“People with bipolar disorder are more likely to have episodes if they drink, no matter how much (or little) alcohol they have. So it is best for people diagnosed with bipolar disorder to avoid alcohol at all costs,” warns Elvis Osimbi, the lead addiction counsellor at MediVa Wellness Centre.
It is noted that Kenya has invested poorly in mental health, including in policy,facilities and access to experts. There are less than 100 psychiatrists for the entire country,most of whom are in the urban areas. Access to medication is a problem especially to those without medical cover.There are many types of medication and one may not get what works for them immediately.
HOW COMMON IS BIPOLAR DISORDER?
About 1 in every 100 adults has bipolar disorder at some point in their life. It usually starts between the ages of 15 to 19 – and it rarely starts after the age of 40. Men and women are affected equally.
WHAT TYPES ARE THERE?
Bipolar 1
If you have had at least one high or manic episode, which has lasted for longer than one week.
You may only have manic episodes, although most people with Bipolar I also have periods of depression.
Untreated, a manic episode will generally last 3 to 6 months.
Depressive episodes last rather longer – 6 to 12 months without treatment.
Bipolar 2
If you have had more than one episode of severe depression, but only mild manic episodes – these are called ‘hypomania’.
Rapid Cycling
If you have more than four mood swings in a 12 month period. This affects around 1 in 10 people with bipolar disorder, and can happen with both types I and II.
Cyclothymia
The mood swings are not as severe as those in full bipolar disorder, but can be longer. This can develop into full bipolar disorder.
WHAT CAUSES BIPOLAR DISORDER?
We don’t understand this well, but research suggests that:
Bipolar disorder runs in families – it seems to have more to do with genes than with upbringing.
There may be a physical problem with the brain systems which control our moods – this is why bipolar disorder can often be controlled with medication.
But – mood swings can be brought on by stressful experiences or physical illness.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
This depends on which way your mood has swung.
Depression
The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives. In clinical depression or bipolar disorder, the feeling of depression is much worse. It goes on for longer and makes it difficult or impossible to deal with the normal things of life. If you become depressed, you will notice some of these changes:
Emotional
feelings of unhappiness that don’t go away
feeling that you want to burst into tears for no reason
losing interest in things
being unable to enjoy things
feeling restless and agitated
losing self-confidence
feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
feeling more irritable than usual
thinking of suicide
Thinking
can’t think positively or hopefully
finding it hard to make even simple decisions
difficulty in concentrating
Physical
losing appetite and weight
difficulty in getting to sleep
waking earlier than usual
feeling utterly tired
constipation
going off sex
Behaviour
difficulty in starting or completing things – even everyday chores
crying a lot – or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to
avoiding contact with other people
Mania
You have an intense sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so strong that it affects your thinking and judgment. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and – occasionally – dangerous ways.
Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with day-to-day life. Mania can badly affect both your relationships and your work. When it isn’t so extreme, it is called ‘hypomania’. If you become manic, you may notice that you are:
Emotional
very happy and excited
irritated with other people who don’t share your optimistic outlook
feeling more important than usual
Thinking
full of new and exciting ideas
moving quickly from one idea to another
hearing voices that other people can’t hear
Physical
full of energy
unable or unwilling to sleep
more interested in sex
Behaviour
making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
very active, moving around very quickly
behaving unusually
talking very quickly – other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
recklessly spending your money
over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
less inhibited in general
If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong – although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel annoyed if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues – and with other people’s feelings.
Psychotic Symptoms
If an episode of mania or depression becomes very severe, you may develop psychotic symptoms.
In a manic episode – these will tend to be grandiose beliefs about yourself – that you are on an important mission or that you have special powers and abilities.
In a depressive episode – that you are uniquely guilty, that you are worse than anybody else, or even that you don’t exist.
As well as these unusual beliefs, you might experience hallucinations – when you hear, smell, feel or see something, but there isn’t anything (or anybody) there to account for it.
Between Episodes
Some people can get back to normal in between their mood swings. But this is not so for many people with bipolar disorder. You may continue to experience mild depressive symptoms and problems in thinking, even when you seem to be better. Bipolar disorder may result in you having to stop driving for a while.
TREATMENTS
There are some things you can try to control mood swings so that they stop short of becoming full-blown episodes of mania or depression. These are mentioned below, but medication is still often needed to: keep your mood stable (prophylaxis) treat a manic or depressive episode.
Medication To Stabilise Mood
There are several mood stabilisers, some of which are also used to treat epilepsy or schizophrenia. Your psychiatrist may need to use more than one medication to control mood swings effectively.
Lithium
Lithium has been used as a mood stabiliser for 50 years – but how it works is still not clear. It can be used to treat both manic and depressive episodes.
Treatment with Lithium should be started by a psychiatrist. The difficulty is getting the level of Lithium in the body right – too low and it won’t work, too high and it becomes toxic. So, you will need regular blood tests in the first few weeks to make sure that you are getting the right dose. Once the dose is stable, your doctor can prescribe your Lithium and arrange the regular blood tests.
The amount of Lithium in your blood is very sensitive to how much, or how little, water there is in your body. If you become dehydrated, the level of Lithium in your blood will rise, and you will be more likely to get side-effects, or even toxic effects. So, it’s important to:
drink plenty of water – more in hot weather or when you are active
be careful with tea and coffee – they increase the amount of water you pass in your urine
It can take three months or longer for Lithium to work properly. It’s best to carry on taking the tablets, even if your mood swings continue during this time.
When to start a mood stabiliser
After just one episode, it’s difficult to predict how likely you are to have another. You may not want to start medication at this stage – unless your episode was very severe and disruptive. If you have a second episode, there is a strong chance of further episodes – so most psychiatrists would usually recommend a mood stabiliser at this point.
For how long should a mood stabiliser be continued?
For at least two years after one episode of bipolar disorder, and for up to five years if there have been:
frequent previous relapses
psychotic episodes
alcohol or substance misuse
continuing stress at home or at work
If you continue to have troublesome mood swings, you may need to continue medication for longer.
Psychological Treatments
In between episodes of mania or depression, psychological treatments can be helpful. Treatment usually involves around 16 one-hour sessions over a period of 6 to 9 months.
Psychological treatment should include:
psychoeducation – finding out more about bipolar disorder
mood monitoring – helps you to pick up when your mood is swinging
mood strategies – to help you stop your mood swinging into a full-blown manic or depressive episode
help to develop general coping skills
cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for depression.
Pregnancy
You should discuss any pregnancy plans with your psychiatrist. Together, you can arrange how to manage your mood during the pregnancy and for the first few months after the baby arrives. If you are pregnant, it’s best to discuss with your psychiatrist whether or not to stop Lithium. Although Lithium is safer in pregnancy than the other mood stabilisers, the risk to the baby needs to be weighed against the risk of you becoming depressed or manic. The risk is greatest during the first three months of pregnancy. Lithium is safe after the 26th week of pregnancy, although you should not breastfeed your baby if you are taking Lithium.
STOPPING THE MOOD SWING – HELPING YOURSELF
Self Monitoring
Learn how to recognise the signs that your mood is swinging out of control so you can get help early. You may be able to avoid both full-blown episodes and hospital admissions. Keeping a mood diary can help to identify the things in your life that help you – and those that don’t.
Knowledge
Find out as much as you can about your illness – and what help there is.
Stress
Try to avoid particularly stressful situations – these can trigger off a manic or depressive episode. It’s impossible to avoid all stress, so it may be helpful to learn ways of handling it better. You can do relaxation training with CDs or DVDs, join a relaxation group, or seek advice from a clinical psychologist.
Relationship
Depression or mania can cause great strain on friends and family – you may have to rebuild some relationships after an episode.
It’s helpful if you have at least one person that you can rely on and confide in. When you are well, try explaining the illness to people who are important to you. They need to understand what happens to you – and what they can do for you.
Activities
Try to balance your life and work, leisure, and relationships with your family and friends. If you get too busy you may bring on a manic episode. Make sure that you have enough time to relax and unwind. If you are unemployed, think about taking a course, or doing some volunteer work that has nothing to do with mental illness.
Exercise
Reasonably intense exercise for 20 minutes or so, three times a week, seems to improve mood.
Fun
Make sure you regularly do things that you enjoy and that give your life meaning.
Continue With Medication
You may want to stop your medication before your doctor thinks it is safe – unfortunately this often leads to another mood swing. Talk it over with your doctor and your family when you are well.
HAVE YOUR SAY IN HOW YOU ARE TREATED
If you have been admitted to hospital for bipolar disorder, you may want to write an ‘advance directive’ with your doctor and family to say how you want to be treated if you become ill again.
ADVISE FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Mania or depression can be distressing – and exhausting – for family and friends.
DEALING WITH A MOOD EPISODE
Depression
It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who is very depressed. They see everything in a negative light and may not be able to say what they want you to do. They can be withdrawn and irritable, but at the same time need your help and support. They may be worried, but unwilling or unable to accept advice. Try to be as patient and understanding as possible.
Mania
At the start of a manic mood swing, the person will appear to be happy, energetic and outward-going – the ‘life and soul’ of any party or heated discussion. However, the excitement of such situations will tend to push their mood even higher. So try to steer them away from such situations. You can try to persuade them to get help, or get them information about the illness and self-help.
Practical help is very important – and much appreciated. Make sure that your relative or friend is able to look after themselves properly.
Helping Your Loved Ones Stay Well
In between mood episodes, find out more about bipolar disorder. It may be helpful to go with your friend or loved one to any appointments with the GP or psychiatrist.
Staying Well Yourself
Give yourself space and time to recharge your batteries. Make sure that you have some time on your own, or with trusted friends who will give you the support you need. If your relative or friend has to go into hospital, share the visiting with someone else. You can support your friend or relative better if you are not too tired.
Dealing With An Emergency
In severe mania, a person can become hostile, suspicious and verbally or physically explosive.
In severe depression, a person may start to think of suicide.
If you find that they are:
seriously neglecting themselves by not eating or drinking
behaving in a way that places them, or others, at risk
talking of harming or killing themselves
Get Medical Help Immediately
Keep the name of a trusted professional (and their telephone number) for any such emergency. A short admission to hospital may sometimes be needed.
Looking After Children
If you become manic or depressed, you may temporarily not be able to look after your children properly. Your partner, or another family member, will need to organise the children’s care while you are unwell. It can be helpful to make plans for this in advance when you are well. You may find that your child may feel anxious and confused when you are not well. If they cannot express their distress in words, toddlers can become difficult or clingy, and older children will show it in other ways.
Children will find it helpful if the adults around them are sensitive, understanding, and can respond to their difficulties in a calm, consistent and supportive way. Adults can help them to understand why their parent is behaving differently. Questions will need to be answered calmly; factually and in language they can understand. They will feel better if they can keep to their usual daily routine.
Explaining Bipolar Disorder To Children
Older children may worry that they have caused the illness – that it is their fault. They need to be reassured that they are not to blame, but also to be shown what they can do to help. When an older child takes responsibility for caring for a sick parent, they will need particular understanding and practical support.
Sources: International Bipolar Association, Africa Mental Health Foundation, Ministry of Health, World Health Organisation,Daily Nation,Standard,Chiromo Lane Medical Center.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. Don’t hesitate to reach out! Remember to subscribe and share. Love and light. And remember, you are not alone.
Hello world! Welcome to my blog! I’m so happy tomeet you. My name is Melvis Mogambi, a counseling psychologist based in Nakuru, Kenya.
I live with type 1 diabetes as well as bipolar disorder. You guessed it, I blog about the same. “Why not keep a diary or journal?” “Why blog publicly?” You may ask.
I decided to blog publicly to be able to reach more people while advocating for bipolar disorder and diabetes as well as other mental illnesses;educating on the same. Matters mental health are very close to my heart. I also want to encourage and uplift others living with or taking care of people living with these conditions.
I want to empower them and make a difference in their lives. To end the stigma and end the silence especially around mental health and mental illnesses. It is not your fault, you are enough, you matter,you are loved and you are not alone.❤ You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. You are so resilient. Never forget that.
Research round-ups,healthcare basics, “How-To” guides, opinion pieces,myths and misconceptions about bipolar disorder and type 1 diabetes plus my favorite home remedies are some of the topics I think I’ll write about. I’ll also share the story of my diagnosis, clinical research,travel tips,how these conditions are portrayed in the media and many more topics that I hope you’ll love. You can also let me know what other topics you’d like me to talk about.
I would love to connect with people living with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses all over the world but more so in Kenya and in Africa. Furthermore I’d love to connect with people living with diabetes but more so type 1 diabetes. All these together with those who take care of them or are related to them both directly and indirectly. Together with other mental health or illness bloggers and advocates as well as diabetes bloggers,advocates or activists. Not to mention doctors,psychiatrists,psychologists and counsellors. And all those who want to learn more about mental health and diabetes or want to help.
If I blog successfully throughout the next year I hope to have spread more awareness about bipolar disorder,mental illnesses,mental health as a whole and diabetes,type 1 in particular in Kenya and even Africa. To end the silence and the stigma surrounding these conditions. And for the people affected to be comfortable in their skin, to own their story, to be empowered and encouraged. To know that it is not their fault for being sick and that they too can live long,happy,fruitful lives.
Thank you for reading my blog. You are more than enough, you matter,you are so strong and so brave. I believe in you and remember, You are not alone ❤
I use my personal experience over the past 18 years battling multiple, chronic, autoimmune conditions to create and raise awareness about them; what they are, how we handle them and their impact on the sufferers of these conditions.
Welcome to the Diabetes online newsfeed. Here you’ll find all the latest research, news stories, policy updates and guidelines. View our other newsfeeds for more subject-specific news.
Kintsugi Support. 
