Being a Leader

Consider your overall role and responsibilities at work as a leader. Even if not in the job description, leaders have an important role in the success of the employees. Remember, a leader is someone who knows the way to go and guides those behind him without fear.

Managing challenging conversations is essential to success!

So, what is the most difficult task of a leader? What would be the most reluctant or challenging task? Of course, having tough conversations with employees! Because talking to an employee about their performance and behavior is not easy. Managing these difficult conversations well is essential to the success of both the employees and the company!

How is the “Grow” Approach Applied?

The key to overcoming challenging situations; is an approach to people. Your behavior toward a person determines your attitude toward your entire environment. And even the key to overcoming difficult situations is your approach to people.

‘’G’’ Goals

Let’s start with the letter G. The first letter indicates goals. When talking to your employees about a problem, set your purpose. State facts about the person’s behavior or performance.

However, instead of blaming, try to help. This will make that person trust you. It shows that you support them.

For example; “Hi, something caught my attention recently. You have problems with communication and compliance. Your teammates also mentioned that you don’t cooperate.” It can be a breaker to say.

But “Hi, I asked you to come so we can find ways to improve our communication. Since we are a team that values cooperation, we should also pay attention to this issue. I am here to help you.” It would be very effective.

‘’R’’ Reality

The letter ‘R’ indicates reality. What is stated here is, to tell the truth about the person’s behavior or performance. But beware! Be careful not to offend or humiliate the person in front of you!

Also, when giving feedback, interpret events impartially, without personalizing them. You can express your thoughts by giving a few work-related examples. You need to pay special attention to the issue of deficiency. Remember, generalizing is wrong. If you see a deficiency in any subject, only give feedback on that subject!

‘’O’’ Options

The letter ‘O’, that is, options, indicates options. Choose a few options for one’s self-improvement. When you tell the employee about something that is missing or wrong, it is very important that you give him a choice about it. Highlight areas for improvement and make suggestions.

The important thing is to focus on the solution rather than the problems. Believe me, when you show solutions, people trust you and themselves!

‘W’ Willingness

The letter ‘W’, willingness, indicates willingness. After asking the employee what they want to do, give them time to think. Don’t force a decision right away. Forcing causes the person to become defensive.

However, the important thing is that he makes a choice voluntarily. Do not use intimidating or accusatory language. First ask yourself: Where does employee enthusiasm come from? Is it sincere or out of fear?

These questions keep you from getting away from your purpose. The next step is the agreement. Take action for the solutions you promised. Yes, you can follow all the steps we mentioned to manage difficult situations. However, there are a few points you should pay attention to.

Attention, please!

First, be brave, and don’t be afraid, to tell the truth. To improve yourself in this regard, focus on the source of your fear. If you are afraid, to be honest, try to find out why.

The second important point is to care. Show that you care about the other person’s feelings. This behavior makes the other person feel close to you. Show that you care about him and be honest about it too.

Remind yourself that each individual’s background is different. We all have different personalities and lifestyles. So look at what his life is like outside of work. And most importantly, accept everyone as they are.

The third important point is to forgive. Forgive yourself first and then others. Yes, we may not always make the right decision.

Remember, everyone can make mistakes. So don’t be heartbroken for small mistakes. Treat yourself and your surroundings with love.

Finally, choose to be a loving leader. Care about all employees for the success of both you and your company. When making a decision, consider the well-being of everyone and act accordingly. Unfortunately, this choice takes more time and effort.

Remember, at the end of the road you will get what you pay for!

How Do You Master Difficult Conversations In Business? was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

That ‘Aha’ Moment When My Full Cycle Was Broken

How did I live so many years stuck on one truth, and it wasn’t even my thought?

That was the day when I felt like I was spinning in a circle because of some changing circumstances in my life…
I had an ‘aha’ moment. And this has really changed my perspective on everything I own in my life.

Before I make you impatient, I want to tell you about my ‘aha’ moment. I am engaged and preparing for marriage. You know, this requires financial preparations. Before the pandemic, I was working at the airport. I took a break afterward. But for financial reasons, I went back to my old job.

The work at the airport, which has different working hours, was making me very tired. I wasn’t enjoying it. During the hours when I wanted to watch the sunset, I had to do my job in that gloomy building all the time.

Why, because I needed to make money. Because my family, friends, etc. they say I need to save money to get married. And they kept saying that I could only earn it by working in a corporate job. The reason I got the job was that I found what they said to be true.

One day, I got ready for the evening shift again. I parked my engine at the place where I was going to get on the service and started to wait for the service.

When the service did not come, I got bored and wanted to turn on the music. Just when I was on my playlist, the wise voice inside me called out to me; “Buse, it’s like you need to learn something new. You know, you haven’t been able to devote much time to reading and learning new information because you’ve worked so hard and are tired.’’

She said, “I think you should listen to the podcast, it will be better for you.”

Yes, the wise voice inside me was right. Since I was tired from working, I could not spare time to do things that would be good for myself and improve myself. And this made me very sad.

I immediately entered my podcast list and a podcast about minimalism caught my attention. I have been trying for two years to enforce minimalism in every field. I thought maybe it would be good to learn new information on this subject and pressed the play button.

Just as I was listening to her, I suddenly turned my head to the sky and saw the little lights of the moon. I thought, if I didn’t have to go to work, I’d go to the seaside now, grab my chair and watch the moon with that soft, warm summer breeze.

While I was thinking like this, the lady describing the podcast suddenly said;

-Why? Said.

I suddenly paid attention to what you said.
-Why are you working, she said.

-What and who do you work for, she said next.

I froze and stayed. At that moment time stopped. Passing cars stopped. People running around in the street stopped. And I stopped breathing.
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Yes! Why am I working?’

To buy me fashionable clothes that are constantly renewed?
Or to show my friends on Instagram that I travel a lot in my stories and attend too many events?

What was all this effort and effort for?
All the ideas that had been told to me that I thought were right crossed my mind. What my family, friends, and people around me say.

When I stopped and asked myself, my answers were never among the ones I wrote above.

I didn’t want to spend my life and time buying more clothes and stuff, eating expensive food in cafes, and showing off to the people around me.

These were not things valuable enough to give me back the time that had passed.

I know there are a lot of people who believe that money can only come from a salary and that a salary can only come from big businesses that are corporate.

I was one of them. But at that moment I lived that day, it was as if everything had changed for me. That was the whole thing.

Our life was the meaning we ascribe to things. If I choose what is valuable in my life, those things become valuable in my life.
If I consider watching the sunset more valuable by inhaling that iodine-filled scent of the sea, watching the sunset was much more valuable to me than a dress I bought for myself.

And I know that if I constantly thought that I needed new things, I would constantly need new cosmetics, new jewelry, and new bags.

But I think I need the moonlight, the fresh scent of the forest, the pink clouds that turn into cotton candy after sunset. And if I continue to work in this job, I will spend my life giving meaning to those things that give temporary happiness.

I say temporary because it takes a week or two at most that all the things we buy to make us happy. Then we throw them away, we keep our eyes on the new ones.

Or we take a picture of it after eating an expensive meal and post it, and when that story is deleted 24 hours later, we now keep our eyes on new cafes and eateries.

So what happens when you take advantage of nature’s beautiful gifts?

The happiness hormone is secreted in our body. Peace fills us. We are experiencing improvements. Our inspiration grows. It is good for our mental health. The way we connect with ourselves is changing.

Most importantly, we begin to recognize our true identities. We shape our lives by being inspired by nature. And it’s all free can you believe it?

After that day, my life circle completely changed and I became a Buse with brand new thoughts.

Because I’m not going to waste my life by wasting all of its energy just like the hamster keeps turning and turning all the time in the same circle.

It was a tremendous decision that got me out of that full circle. Everything in my life suddenly started to increase in value.

The things I started to be thankful for were such small things… But as I became grateful for those little things, the little things turned into giant clouds of gratitude.

I am still preparing for marriage. But I no longer calculate where the money will come from.

I surrendered myself to the unlimited abundance and abundance of the universe. I feel much more comfortable and safe now.

Everything that is reserved for me comes to me, I have no doubt about it.

In fact, you know, I don’t have to give my health and all my time for the things that will come to me. What more do you want from life?

If you want to participate in the writing challenge, please use this link. Who knows, your ideas and stories may be good for someone’s heart.

Stay loving yourself!

That ‘Aha’ Moment When My Full Circle Was Broken was originally published in Flint and Steel on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Maybe the things that excited and satisfied us in the first part of our lives may not give us the same excitement and satisfaction today. Maybe we structured the first 20–30–40 years of our lives according to certain wishes, and that structure no longer gives us what we expect for the moment we are in.

And we look for something new in our life. A few things are necessary to look at and understand this situation.

Discover your path and embark on a journey within yourself!

Firstly; To find that new thing that will excite us, we need to enter a dark forest and discover a path for ourselves there.

If we entered the dark forest and there seems to be a way for us, we should know that it is not our way. It is a path drawn by someone else. And because each of us is unique, the path that everyone has to walk is different. Of course, the lessons we will learn from that journey will always be different.

There is no single formula for life.

For us to live with our inner feelings, we need to find our pause button and press it. It is necessary to silence what is going on in our minds a little bit.

Lift your head from the ocean of the ancients and look at the shining light of the sun!

Sometimes we need to have the courage to let go of the old things to make room for new things in our lives. Our old habits are not just theoretical attachments. They’re deeply etched pathways inside the brain. And erasing the traces of these old ways takes time.

It is a complete fantasy to expect a magnificent change in 1 month. Because every habit affects our body. For these traces to be erased, we must give ourselves time and show understanding.

For example, the bodily movements we make during physical activities help us to do that job more easily every time.

We have a system that allows us to adapt so that we can do better what we do more often. This is an excellent ability that our body offers us.

But this excellent ability works with the same system for negative thoughts. If we are not aware of our thoughts, we can get caught in the web of negative thoughts and become that mouse in a spinning wheel.

What we think about more and what we spend more time with, the brain constantly thinks about it and shapes our thoughts accordingly. This is called neuroplasticity.

When we use neuroplasticity in a good way, we get great results. Therefore, we develop in direct proportion with the habits we make for ourselves.

In order to experience the new, we must change our perspective on the new!

The moment we enter a room with a large group, if our first reaction is judgment and we have a negative thought about the people and environments we see for the first time, our reaction will be negative every time we encounter something new.

And each time we do that, the next time we have even stronger judgments. There continue to be stronger negative pronunciations. This is why if our thinking has a negative disposition rather than something new, nothing new means anything to us.

No matter how much we search for new things or find something better, as long as negative thoughts continue in our minds, what we call new will always remain old.

But we want to be a more positive people. When we enter a room, instead of finding things to judge in the room, we want to be grateful for the benefits that room has given us.

That’s why we need to have the courage to let go of negative thoughts. Because we can’t have both positive thoughts and negative thoughts in our minds.

If we want to make room for the new, we must let go of negative thoughts.

Of course, we can let go of our old habits. And for that, meditation is the gold nugget of our time. When we constantly focus on the breath during meditation, we weaken the vibrational signals from negative thoughts.

Sometimes we may want to make room for something concrete in our lives. For this, we must focus on the concrete things around us. For example, when we do a deep cleaning in our house, we feel as if we have started a new life when we can leave the things that we are very attached to.

If our old friendships do not satisfy us and we feel that they support and grow us, it is possible to let go of these old friendships gradually and without offending anyone. We don’t feel bad if we do it politely and gently.

Because let’s think about it, we have really limited time during the day we set aside for ourselves.

Therefore, meeting new people instead of constantly spending our days with the same friends and the same activities allows us to make room for innovations in our lives.

If we can rely on meeting new people and letting go of those old friends, it means we live in balance.

Living life in balance in all areas brings balance to all our affairs and relationships.

If we have lived 20, 30, or 40 years of our lives with the system we have created according to the truths given to us, nothing new in our lives today may be exciting.

Then we can thank him for preparing us for the current new ones without complaining and suffocating this system with feelings of regret. We can also look at this old system as a part of the whole.

Because the old system we created satisfied us at that time and brought us to today. But right now, we can add excitement and beauty to our lives by improving this system, or by leaving it completely and creating a brand new system.

Here we need to trust life and where it takes us. If we can’t trust life in this cycle and fearfully cling to the old system, letting go feels like the end of the world for us.

But as we meditate, we see the abundance within us. Then we say to ourselves, I guess there is nothing to be afraid of. Because at the point where we can say this, we begin to be satisfied with life.

Very easily we start to let go of those fears and say, “This thing will come into my hands”.

We make sure of this because now we feel it with all our heart and soul. Even if no one believes it, we make sure it will happen. And the stronger that feeling is, the easier it is to let go of the old ones.

What would you think if you learned that all the innovations and achievements we will take into our lives are hidden in our ability to connect with ourselves? Maybe getting to know ourselves better is getting to know and understand our dreams first. You may want to read from Neha Sonney, Author who tells this subject in a very useful and narrative way.

How To Plant a Dream and Have Faith in Yourself

You may want to accompany Yean Foong (M.Ed.) on his journey, who explains the importance of supporting thoughts with love and compassion without judgment while meditating. Each of us has different experiences and journeys, so reading and learning about each other’s experiences is the most important thing that develops us.

“You Are Welcome Here, Too!”

Stay loving yourselves!

Thank you for your time. If this story added value or brought awareness to your life, please show your support by buying me a coffee or book.

How Do We Know When The Old Ones In Our Lives Have Expired? was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Why did I start my story like this? Because when I turned 28, I realized that my story is always full of the guidance, advice, and experiences of others. It took me a long time to understand this.

As a child, I was afraid to speak, even at my optimal age when I could express myself without fear. I was afraid to express my thoughts or say “I want this”.

This was followed by my really difficult school years. I wanted to be with my friends all the time and I couldn’t feel safe when I was with my family. Sometimes I always blamed myself, “What’s wrong with me, why do I think like this, why can’t I love my family”.

I thought to myself, “How can you not love your family, Buse, there is something wrong with you.” But it’s pointless to blame me or my family for nothing.

Because they did what they saw from their family. That’s why I don’t blame them, but I can’t blame myself for seeing myself apart from them.

Because I don’t have to do anything that isn’t good for my body and mind, and it’s my decision. This situation caused me to grow up as a self-confident and non-responsible person.

I did not know how to love because I could never experience my mother’s, unconditional love. The lack of trust and love that I couldn’t get from my father prevented me from experiencing the feeling of trust in life.

The love or attention I received or would receive from my family was always conditional.

If you’re a smart kid, I’ll love you, Buse.

I love you, Buse, if you sit down without making mischief and without crying or whimpering.

Would it be easy to misbehave and voice your opinions if your life was tied to such conditions?

No, it didn’t. At least it didn’t for me. That’s why I never found myself worthy of being loved.

The lack of love is like a flower seed that has never bloomed for a growing child. If it doesn’t get water and sunlight on time and love it, it may not bloom at all in its lifetime.

At the age of 24, I went on a journey and made a decision.

I would be the only hero of my own story. Yes, I had a troubled childhood. I always put my wishes and dreams in the background, trying to get others to like me. But now it had stuck with me.

I tried to do what everyone said and never said no to anyone. I thought that if I got along well with everyone, I would get love, attention, and appreciation from everyone.

But life has shown me that this is not so at all. Because every time I did what someone asked me to do — regardless of my own thoughts — that person treated me even more unworthy.

Then I looked back at my past life when I couldn’t please myself, nor did my effort to please others find its place.

And then to myself; “Buse, come to your senses! Trying to get along with everyone, you forget yourself. You mute yourself by doing what others say.”

And now a new life has begun for me. I have thought of all the advice I have received from my family, friends, and teachers, and I have done them without question.

But I never thought of this; what if the person giving me advice is making comments based on his own life and experiences.

What if this person is interpreting my life based on their own experience.

But does the person whose opinions I value or love the most, even know my insides? Can he interpret my life better than I?

That’s when I became aware of this, and I realized that no matter what happens, I will act with my own thoughts.

Not by ignoring the presence of those in my life, of course. But it will be me, not them, in the main position.

In other words, I will be the protagonist of my story and I will advance my route by putting myself in the center.

At least, even if I take the wrong decision and make a mistake, I say that I made this decision and I take the responsibility. Saying this is life’s greatest freedom.

Just as water finds its own way and flows despite external directions or obstacles, I was going to be like this and I promised myself last year.

When I look back this year, I say that you have really gone through a lot, Buse. But I’m glad you lived through it because this was your story, I add.

If a person is the hero of his own story, she feels stronger even when struggling with difficulties. Yes, I was a person who almost did not even eat without getting approval.

Others have always decided for me what to buy and what to wear. Then I realized that my story became their story.

As long as I continue to do what everyone says, there is actually no room for the concept of self.

My first step toward the awareness of making my own decision was to go to America.

I wanted to visit and see places that I had seen in movies and TV series. In order to meet people from different cultures and experience new things, I applied to the Wat program of America and was accepted.

First, my family did not want to send me and they tried to prevent me. But it was almost the first time in my life that I was so insistent about something. And now I say good. Fortunately, I insisted on them and left.

I had the best months of my life. I met a lot of people and saw a lot of places.

I tried to visit famous places in America. I still keep in touch with the people I met there.

And I think that’s the meaning of life and living.

You go on a road, everyone tries to prevent you with their weapons. You fight them fearlessly because you have a purpose. After fighting all the bad characters, you move on.

Even stronger and more willing, you continue on your way. Then when you come back after fulfilling your dream, you will never be the same person you first came out with.

Because you are no longer at the beginning of the road, you are the one who has successfully overcome all your struggles.

If life is an adventure, isn’t it to live fearlessly and as you want, that brings that adventure alive…

In 2018, I finished my department and university, which I chose under the guidance of my father, and started working at the airport in 2019.

I was doing my job when we looked. But I was not happy. I was not enjoying my job. I could not get along with my co-workers. So what would I do now?

In the second year, I quit my job due to the pandemic. ‘’Never mind’’, I said to myself. Of course, it took me a year to say that. Because that was all I did and I felt like a useless person.

At a time when there was no good news about aviation all over the world, I made a decision. I had already read that in a section that I did not choose myself.

But what I wanted could be something else? A light went on in my mind when I realized that my decisions were based on my family and friends.

Yes, that wasn’t me. Who was I and what did I want? If I could find this, I would find out what I wanted to do and what I wanted to achieve in this life. That’s what happened.

I met with yoga and started to feel my own body. How disconnected I was from my body for years.

Sometimes I have a hard time recognizing even a pain I feel in my body, but now I feel every cell of my body. It was an amazing feeling.

I was doing classical yoga and I unconsciously pushed myself hard. Of course, I was injured.

The injury in my hip again dragged me into the unknown. I faced an obstacle on my way to becoming a yoga teacher.

The doctor forbade me to do yoga. Then I turned to the best communication in which I express myself, writing.

I met Medium while I was studying blogging.

This was one of the turning points in my life. First, I tried to gain 100 followers for the Medium Partner Program.

I commented on everyone’s posts and made a 100 follower call myself. After reaching it, I had another disappointment.

This program was not valid in my country. Then I fell into space again.

But writing was truly my passion. I wanted to write like crazy. Because I believe you healed me. And I continued to research.

Then I decided to set up my own website. Now I’m still striving for it and dedicating myself to producing content.

The biggest thing Medium has given me is a loving friend, a comrade. Thanks to Neha Sonney, Author , I regained my morale on Medium and stood up with even greater enthusiasm.

The supportive messages she did and said attracted me more and more every day.

Medium filled most of the missing parts of my story. Love, friendship, communication… The only thing missing was money. If you want to complete it, I leave the link to my buymecoffe: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/busermennn

Disbanded Emotions

Just as everything that is irregular and unorganized goes off the air, they are prone to develop beyond our control when we cannot control our emotions. And when we can’t control our emotions, undesirable events can happen to us.

Well, let’s assume that you have been ruled by your emotions until now and you didn’t realize it until you read this article. Then right now, don’t you think it’s time to change something?

Do not believe in coincidences! There is no such thing as a coincidence, but you thought of something or an intention at that moment, and the information you wanted to became to your feet.

1. Learning to restrain your emotions

Our emotions correspond to what we feel in life. Can we then call emotions everything we can feel and think about?

We all go from one emotion to another throughout the day. Sometimes we wake up with good dreams, make a good start to the day, have a nice breakfast with delicious banana pancakes, turn on our favorite music, dance, get dressed, and get ready for work.

The mornings we wake up with such a scene of starting the day, of course, allow us to start the day well and we turn into someone who always smiles with the role of the happy woman in the same television commercials. What if we woke up to a morning where the opposite happened.

If we joined the endless dream vortex that we could not get out of, we tried to wake up, but every time we thought we woke up, we got into absurd events where the absurdities in the dream continue. Think about it, how can we wake up from such a dream and start the day happily?

Maybe we have seen our obligation to start the day happy only from commercials, TV series, and movies. Maybe we are not obliged to follow such an opinion or rule. Feeling happy and perfect all the time is a very difficult, even tiring feeling, don’t you think?

I used to believe that I should always look happy to everyone. And when someone asked me how are you today, I always say “I’m fine”. However, that day, I felt weak, broken, and bad. But since the perception that we should always be happy and always good is created, I see that everyone is hesitant to say that they have a problem.

Or even those who feel that they are bad or upset about something continue to pretend they are happy by hiding it. This was a mistake I once made.

2. Emotions don’t always have to make you feel good

Our emotions, our emojis that we use on social media, or our texts and pictures are all means of conveying emotions. That’s why we always see the same kind of emojis, pictures, and posts on some people’s social media accounts.

And right now, everyone on social media is acting like they’re happy all the time. I say pretend because I don’t think it’s possible for a person to be happy all the time.

Emotions are like running water in a river and are constantly changing.

When we see people who are happy every day on social media, we always question that emotional state — the state of being happy — why we don’t feel the same way. There is a perception as if being happy is a necessity. Sometimes we force ourselves to be happy, and when we can’t, we blame ourselves.

I even remember saying, “Have you been happy enough today, Buse!” What a motivational phrase!

The first thing we need to do is remember that we are human and learn to feel our emotions. I say remembering that we are human because the definition of being human is not “a being who can always be perfect and happy in any situation”.

I don’t know who created this definition. But everyone acts as if this is an unwritten rule that must be followed. Don’t listen to them! When we are constantly happy, how can we eagerly and desire to reach the next state of happiness? If I am constantly feeling happy, how can I tell when I feel truly happy?

3. Let the feelings transform and change

Our emotions have a constant path of change and transformation. An event that makes us very angry for a moment does not affect us as much as the moment we get angry a day or an hour later.

Because it is an emotion, it is lived and it ends. Then it turns into another emotion.

For example, our anger may turn into anger at the next stage. Then perhaps it will turn into relaxation. Maybe some think that I am doing myself a favor when we let the anger that comes from within us, so I should not get angry here.

You may also think that I overcame my anger and displayed a positive approach towards my surroundings.

For example, our anger may turn into anger at the next stage. Then perhaps it will turn into relaxation.

Maybe some think that I am doing myself a favor when we let the anger that comes from within us, so I should not get angry here. You may also think that I overcame my anger and displayed a positive approach towards my surroundings.

But no friends, I restrained that anger and did not let it come out of my body. Well, has this anger gone?

No, of course. Since I didn’t let him out, he came and went into a cafe and chose a place on my body as if he liked a place to sit and reserved it for himself. His place was even ready for his next visit!

Who knows, maybe every time I throw my anger inside, I’m just sending new friends to the other person. Have you ever thought like that?

Anger is just an example, any of many bad emotions; it can be sadness or resentment, it can be a feeling of disappointment or humiliation.

The bad and suppressed emotions that we throw inside can also be the cause of our diseases. Many sources explain this scientifically.

Letting an emotion come is guiding it to go. If we prevent emotion from coming and going, we allow it to live in our soul and body.

I share with you some examples of emotions that we do not allow to pass through our bodies and a few diseases they cause.

Here they are, and as long as we allow them, they will live in us and continue to be the cause of our ills.

• Anger: Earache, migraine, injuries (usually we injure the body in some way when we are angry), fever
• Fear, fear of living: overweight, loss of appetite, fainting, forgetfulness, tonsillitis, stomach ailments
• Worry: Indigestion, gastritis,
• Inability to assimilate the new, difficulty in accepting what has happened to them: Stomach ailments
• Stubbornness: Neck pain, tinnitus

4. Naming emotions makes them easier to embrace

Wouldn’t it be great if you could recognize your emotions when they come? For example, let’s assume that there is a feeling of embarrassment.

While speaking to a large audience, my voice was hoarse and I could not speak. And I was embarrassed. At this moment, this feeling of shame came to me and he said, “Hello, I am coming from within you.”

I said, “Hello, the feeling of shame is welcome. I know you’re here right now because I couldn’t help but make a mistake and because everyone started laughing, I was so angry and embarrassed.”

I know that everyone will go and tell their relatives about this incident today, maybe they will laugh together again later. Well, then? No one will ever remember. Just like that, no one will remember, not even me.

Imagine that we constantly remember every bad event we have experienced. How bad and boring would that be.

Fortunately, we humans are created to hardly remember what we ate yesterday. So we don’t have to worry.

We welcomed a bad feeling and greeted it nicely. He also did his duty and made us feel shame. When his mission was over, he left our body and mind.

I can almost hear you say, “Oh, it’s not that bad, just letting the feelings come”. It’s beautiful, easy, and free to try. Try it yourself and see the difference.

We can all be people who feel better, and we don’t have to constantly pursue happiness to feel that way.

5. Letting the emoitons pass

The strange thing about emotions is that when we resist them, they lose control over us. So only you can decide how much it will affect you. This is a choice.

By staying with emotion and approaching it with awareness and naming it, we become a recipient of it.

After a while, when that emotion comes to visit us, we experience the comfort of knowing what that emotion is while opening the door. As human beings, we tend to be afraid of things we don’t know.

If we define, classify, and even name an emotion, we can realize it’s coming. Everything that we approach with awareness is at the top of the category for us.

For example, my business did not go well, I could not find an empty parking space for my car, and on the second tour, when I found an empty place, someone came and parked it before me.

Yes, now I am very angry. I think for a moment and turn to myself and ask myself: What feeling is this?

I immediately call it “anger” and recognize it. Then I take a deep breath and focus on my breathing. I’m thinking ‘’what happened Buse, why are you angry now?’’

I was angry because I couldn’t find a parking spot, and when I found it later, someone else got in and parked before me, it was my right.

“Yes, Buse, this is a perfectly normal situation and you are right to be angry, anyone would be angry anyway” I suggest to myself.

And I add “You got angry and you had those emotions. These feelings have expired, Buse. Now you can move on to a new emotion.”

Because emotions come, crash, and go like water in an already flowing river. You just let it go!

After making my suggestions, I continue to live. I wonder what I will experience in my next adventure. Sometimes I wait eagerly and for the next second to see what emotion is showing on my stage now.

Because friends, no matter what we experience, not knowing what we will experience in the next second always throws us in the middle of an adventure.

Seeing life as a game increases our enthusiasm for life.

What adventures are you embracing today? For example, would you want to do something you’ve wanted for a long time, even if your body doesn’t want it, just because it’s in your heart?

Well, don’t you want to take a small step today to make it happen?

Stay loving yourself!

5 Golden Tips That Will Make It Easier for Us to Connect with Emotions was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

How does Our Mind’s Perception Function work?

The source of most of the information we have created in our minds from the past to the present is the information coming from our sense organs. Signals from our sense organs are stored in our brains.

For example, when we see a snake, our brain tries to predict what we see based on past experiences.

We form this prediction through the signals we receive from the information transmitted to our sense organs by experiencing that fear. A second option is the situations in which the information created by the environment throughout our lives affects our minds.

But what if our senses mislead us and stored the wrong things in our minds?

We cannot hate and get angry and expect the organism not to consist of hatred and anger.

We cannot love and hope and expect the organism not to physiologically consist of love and hope.

Hate, love, hope are not psychological states that exist in a vacuum. It takes care of the entire living organism. (Thomas Hanna)

How is Perception Formed?

How our mind perceives the world determines our direction in the world and the way we live.

Our unconscious mind determines the habits and attitudes it creates in our minds with the information it receives from our senses.

That’s why we live the way we perceive the world. And even if each of us living in the world sees the same things, we perceive what we see or hear as our consciousness is at that moment.

There is no perfect perception; perception is almost always evidence of what we feel now and what we have learned before. (Dr. Daniel J. Siegel)

Modes of Our Mind

With the emotions and events that our mind experiences during the day, its mode can change constantly. To adapt to the environment we enter, both our mind and body react.

For example, when you enter an environment, if the people there are sad, after a while you realize that you also get into that mood. Or when you enter a very entertaining environment where everyone dances and has fun, your energy rises and you start to feel better.

Because the mirror neurons in our brain reflect the outside world to our minds as it perceives it. As Dr. Daniel J. Siegel explains in his book Mindsight, ‘’mirror neurons are antennae that attract the intentions and emotions of others, and they create behavioral reflections within us.’’

Our mind, on the other hand, sends positive or negative signals to our sense organs, enabling us to keep up with the environment.

But sometimes we can be in moods where we can’t keep up with the environment and don’t want to do anything.

We do not manage our minds here, we leave it as if it is an automatic pilot and do what it says and act accordingly. So, how do we know if we are controlling our minds?

Focusing on the senses and sensations unites our body and mind and creates a whole.

Maker Mind Mode

If our mind is in the maker mind mode, everything happens automatically. In other words, our mind acts with automatic reactions by the sense organs and works to protect us from external dangers. Such a mechanism is necessary for our survival.

• The maker mind mode is productive for external (real) problems.

• It focuses on the past or the future.

• Makes use of ideas.

• Thinks thoughts are real.

• His wishes his present moment to change.

• He chooses to focus on the target until he reaches the target or gets tired.

“The nervous system only supports health and balance when it is not engaged for protection.” (Stephen Porges)

Being Mind Mode

Our being mind, on the other hand, helps us identify and sense the effects that are currently happening to our body. It is the state in which we enter the state of behaving functionally and being able to interpret our thoughts by feeling.

• Works with intentions and situations.

• Focuses on the main.

• He does not avoid experiencing something and accepts what he has experienced as it is.

• He perceives that his thoughts consist of processes of the mind.

• It tries to understand the whole process from a larger perspective.

Is It Possible To Interfere With Our Mind’s Thought Structure?

We mentioned above that most of the judgments we form about the world change according to the situation we perceive.

Our mind forms our judgments about life and our body based on what we feel.

In dangerous situations faced by people living in ancient times, the body senses sent messages to the mind, offering options of a run, fight, freeze.

Although the probability of us encountering any dangerous situation decreases in the age of technology, the perception of dangerous situations in our time is different.

For example, if you are in an environment where you do not feel comfortable at work, you may feel in danger when you do not like and trust your boss or friends.

In such a situation, the stimulants in our body indicate that we are in danger in the messages they send to our minds and judge that we are not safe.

Therefore, when we do not interfere with the ideas that the body perceives with the senses, we constantly feel and act as if we are in a dangerous environment.

We begin to avoid people and crowds, and we automatically protect ourselves and our bodies. It gives us great strength in this struggle for life.

But the problem is that the body and mind adopt this state permanently. Being constantly stressed and feeling insecure both deteriorates our physical health and our mental health begins to deteriorate over time.

We look for the predictable when you don’t feel safe. When we are safe, we seek a new experience.” (Stephen Porges)

Mindfulness methods also work for this. When the emotions we perceive through our body reach the mind, instead of feeling them automatically, we gain the ability to experience the sensation that those emotions bring. This experience is a conscious experience.

When our mind is on autopilot, our state of awareness is actually what we perceive at that moment.

In other words, the state of an object or behavior that we perceive at that moment is directly reflected in our minds and we have difficulty in perceiving what it makes us feel or what emotion it creates in us.

In this case, Mindsight is absent, and our situation-dependent perceptions, behavioral responses, beliefs, and emotional responses come into play and take over our minds.

You can think of the mindsight as a very special lens that allows us to perceive our minds much more clearly than in the past. This lens is indeed something anyone can cultivate, and once we have it, we can dive deep into the mental sea within us and explore our own inner lives and the inner lives of others. (Daniel J. Siegel)

When we become sensory awareness, we activate our functional memory, the ability to evaluate what we perceive, by focusing our attention.

Is our Mind Aware that it is Safe?

When our minds feel secure, we also experience a sense of security. For our minds to be able to do this, we need to be aware of our senses and have the ability to feel them.

We may not feel a sense of trust even when the danger in the environment we are in is removed.

Our nervous system perceives dangerous situations in others when we lack awareness. Therefore, feeling the sense of trust with awareness helps to prevent the occurrence of both physical and mental illnesses.

When our mind cannot feel a sense of security, it creates run, fight, freeze strategies.What triggers the transition to a defensive state is our trauma history and social isolation situations, which are generally caused by physical means.

In safe environments, we go into a state of frost, and when we feel danger, we go into a state of flight or war.

Sources:

• Thomas Hanna- The body of life, 1980
• D.r Daniel Siegel- Mindsight, 2010
• Steven W. Porges- The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe, 2011

Follow The Orange Journal so you don’t miss a post. Do you love to write about self-improvement and personal development? Learn how to be added as a writer here. 🍊

When Our Minds Stay on the Defense for a Long Time, How Does It Keep Us Away From Ourselves? was originally published in The Orange Journal on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

My Little Main Character: Marnie

‘’What is the thing your main character is the most ashamed of in their life?’’

If you are afraid of people, talking may not heal you.

Marnie was a 7-year-old, well-behaved but very quiet child. She had a brother named Jason. Marnie, could not be friends with anyone easily, could not easily communicate with anyone.

Talking to someone was terrifying for Marnie because Marnie thought her voice was too bad for anyone to hear, and she always spoke in a low voice so as not to hear her own voice.

When someone approached to talk to her, Marnie would see herself as a ugly dwarf and the person she was talking to would turn into a giant creature. That’s why no matter how loud Marnie spoke (loud for her), no one else could hear her, and she kept asking her to repeat what Marnie had said. Because she hated her voice, because she hated herself.

One day, while Marnie was at school, her teacher is M.s Thomson told her that she wanted everyone to give a summary of the story they were reading. The story was pretty long, Marnie thought, so the summary would be long.

What should she have done so that the teacher had not chosen her. She immediately started making plans in her mind. Marnie couldn’t talk among all those students. She could never tell a long story summary, especially she. Such a thing was impossible!

She thought of pretending to be sick. So maybe her teacher could send her home. She thought about how she could be sick until the next lesson. Then she suddenly remembered that a child who ate chalk dust in a movie fell ill with a fever. Yes, she had seen it in a movie.

Marnie immediately came up with a plan that suited her and slipped a piece of chalk in her pocket, unseen, at recess. She then went to the restroom and tried to crush the chalk and eat some of them.

But it tasted so bad that Marnie felt as if lime powder was thickening up her throat. Then she was afraid that it would turn into a thick piece in her stomach and cover her stomach.

In fact, when she surrounded her body and mind with the thought of being sick, she had already begun to experience the symptoms of the disease.

But Marnie wasn’t aware of that. She believed the chalk dust would make her sick. And yes, we live what we believe, and we integrate with what we believe.

Suddenly, Marnie heard someone say her own name. She approached behind the door, trying to hear the footsteps. And along with the footsteps, the voices of speech were approaching. Marnie, heard her friend Sarah’s voice.

Sarah was worried when she saw Marnie grab chalk from the classroom and go to the restroom. That’s why she told her teacher about this incident. M.s Thomson came and called out to Marnie from behind the door.

Marnie, on the other hand, was sweating, spilling the chalk dust in her hands, and waiting on the other side of the door in panic and fear with a tearful expression.

She can’t decide what to do, she wondered how the whole class and the teacher would make fun of her when she found out that what she had done was understood and that no one would ever want to talk to her again. But she knew that no one was talking to Marnie anyway. She also didn’t want to talk to anyone anyway.

M.s Thomson said to Marnie that she was starting to get angry now and that she had to open the door immediately. Marnie heard the curious voices of her friends next to the teacher and did not want to open the door, while trying to remove the chalk dust.

Hearing the voices fade away and then disappear, Marnie slowly opened the door at first. When Marnie saw that M.s Thomson was alone, she opened the door wide.

Then, with the door wide open, Marnie appeared with flushed cheeks that covered part of her white face, wavy hair that almost completely covered her face, and sad brown eyes.

After seeing M.s Thomson Marnie like that she thought about how she could connect with this girl, who was now frightened and helpless. M.s. Thomson decided to send Marnie home.

Marnie knew there was no one else in the house but her mother. Her mother is probably busy with the housework and doesn’t even notice Marnie. And she took a giant step into her own peaceful and happy world to tell what she experienced today.

Marnie went to her room, arranged her toys, and told them what had happened today. She was relieved by telling her troubles and excitement to her friends, that is, to her toys. Besides, Marnie didn’t have to raise her voice when talking to them. After all, no one hears their toys talking except Marnie.

Marnie could be anyone she wanted in the world she made out of her toys. And it wasn’t as hard as it was in real life. She just wanted it and it happened. All she had to do was think and dream, for Marnie’s wishes to come true.

She thought that she lived the world she had created as she wanted, and lived happily, without having to be afraid of people.

Because in the world she created, everyone becomes what they want to be. In the world she built, no one judged her for speaking little or speaking in a low voice. In this way, she could feel comfortable and happy without having a situation to fear.

Where Marnie belonged was hidden behind the walls she had built of her own dreams.

In response to this writing prompt:

https://medium.com/flint-and-steel/writing-prompt-challenge-contest-from-flint-steel-c444f17bc429

My Little Main Character : Marnie was originally published in Flint and Steel on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Which Questions Should You Ask to Meet Yourself?

Finding yourself, understanding yourself is always on the top list of things that people who are successful in many subjects advise us. All of them have experienced different things and discovered themselves and created their road maps according to themselves.

When we look at our lives, most of us are surrounded by people who make more comments than we do about who we are or what we should do. But sometimes neither our family, nor our closest friends, nor our partners, nor our siblings ask us the question, “What do you want to do?”

Then I ask you and you ask yourself, who are you? What do you like? What makes you feel enjoyable to do?

If it weren’t for the life you live, if you didn’t have the family you were born into, if you didn’t have the school you went to or your current job, if you didn’t have yesterdays and all this was removed from your memory, who would you choose to be?

If the tomorrow you dreamed of yesterday did not reach today, if the goals you set and everything expected from you, even what you expected from yourself, had disappeared now, who would you be?

Who would you be right now if you didn’t have the next second, let alone the tomorrow you have to reach?

Where Should You Start Getting to Know Yourself?

In order to find out who you are and what you want to do, you must first prepare a good area for yourself. May there be good things for you in this area. The area that is special to you.

You can find all the elements around you that will make you think deeply. Even if you can’t decide, you can try them all.

Maybe you will find what you want in the soil, you will feel that soft and cool feeling when you step your feet on the grass when it enters your body, you will feel the energy of finding yourself.

Maybe when you light an incense, you will see who you are with the rise of each of the curves of that smoke, your energy will increase and it will make it easier for you to think and focus on what you are thinking.

Maybe you are a water element lover and you will go to the sea or riverside and observe how the flowing water sometimes gets stuck on obstacles and changes shape and adapts to the obstacles that come your way.

Ask yourself: Which one are you?

Everyone’s experience in life is different because we have the same body systems but different souls. How can we compare ourselves with others and shape our path accordingly when even our fingerprints are different from each other? This is actually an insult to our souls and our own selves; comparing yourself to others.

Trying to find out who you are by comparing yourself to someone else and deciding what to do in this way is a much more effective virus for our body than a contagious disease. That’s why our environment is full of creatures with this disease. And that’s just a human trait. Imagine a giraffe comparing himself to another giraffe and saying “I’m taller than you and I can reach everywhere because I’m more talented”.

This situation, which sounds ridiculous and funny even when you imagine it, unfortunately, has spread to the whole body like an advanced cancer disease in some people. So much so that he can no longer find himself neither in his body nor in his soul. Because he has compared himself to others so much and convinced himself that they are better, that he has lost himself and cannot find it.

The worst thing you do to yourself, your body, and your soul is to compare yourself to someone else.

Your desire to discover yourself gives you today

Every sunrise is a gift with a huge ribbon given to a person. If you look at it as a gift, you will make lists and create tasks for yourself all day. You start by listing whatever is good for you or needs to be taken care of. And those lists have the power to wake you up the next day with enthusiasm and hope. When you look at your list before going to bed at night, you will see how many things you ticked and what a productive day you had.

You will be the one who brings you together with yourself.

Do something for yourself today and stop. Think about it. Who are you? What do you like to do, what to listen to, what to read? If it wasn’t for your past experiences, would you still believe what you believe now?

Or what traits that you don’t want to have in yourself, maybe even embarrassed and uncomfortable, do someone else around you? From whom could this behavior that you are uncomfortable with be passed on to you?

Asking these questions are golden questions that will guide you in shaping your life. You will try to find the answers to these questions, and maybe you won’t find them the first time.

Always keep going because the way you walk is your way. Today, you are one step closer to yourself when you ask these questions. And as you approach yourself with these questions, the inside of you does not leave you unanswered.

Being You Is The Best Gift Given To You

It’s actually possible to live together when you and I don’t act selfishly. I want you to experience the peace of tasting the harmonious state of being together. Your heart becomes so relaxed and calm… You can do everything you do with peace of mind, actually, it’s your choice.

One of your choices is the way you live life. Do you live by your own decisions or can’t you make decisions without advice from others? Man has been given the ability to choose anything.

How much of our lives have we lived by making our own decisions? For example, when did we freely say that it was my decision even when we made a mistake? However, we were the ones who made mistakes, and those who experienced successes. We just have to walk by taking responsibility for everything we do.

I leave you some good questions to help you understand whether the path you are on is your path or at least so that you can realize that your decisions are made up of the right choices. Here they are:

• Make a list of things that are good for you and make you happy (hobbies, talents or things you dream of and wish to do)
• Make a list of the things you do every day (what you do when you go to work or when you go to school, what you do at home and your responsibilities)
• Compare both lists
• Which of these two lists do not fit together, or which do not match with your dreams and the life you really live, check this and mark the ones that do not fit with a red or distinctive colored pencil
• Now you have come to the last and most difficult stage. What can you do to change them?

Every time you ask yourself “What can I do to change it” or “How can I solve this problem in another way”, your brain is looking for ways to solve these problems. But the main point here is to listen to the call coming from your brain, that is, your inner voice.

If you listen to it, maybe your ability to solve problems will improve and your self-confidence will increase. Now you will be able to do every action and behavior with peace of mind.

If you don’t listen to it, it will be offended by you and fall into a deep silence and remain silent as life throws you here and there. You choose; Is it better to live what your own decisions bring, or is it a life that you stick to the decisions of others and regret later?

You choose because life is all about choices!

Stay loving yourself!

Realize That You Have The Person You Are Every Day was originally published in Age of Awareness on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Fear of Uncertainty

How frightening uncertainty can be for someone who is constantly trying to keep themselves in check. It’s scary as well as terrifying. I know I gave this meaning to it. Since childhood, everything in my life must be controlled for me. My morning wake-up time, mealtime, study time, and playtime should always be the same. If one day someone changed places, I would be angry and afraid that it would turn into something I could not control. Things I couldn’t control would make me feel uneasy.

It’s like I’m alone in a deserted forest. And I was always on the alert in case a danger would come from around. This was terrifying for a child.

Sometimes you want to let go of everything. To leave things where they belong without checking anything. But that first warning comes immediately, like an arrow shot from a bow, into the very center of the mind.

All of a sudden, your body becomes rigid and you feel as if someone is waiting outside to attack you, and even at that moment, you startle with the coldness of the barrel of that gun that is held up to your neck.

And again you can’t let go, what you want to let go. It sticks to your body, just above your back, sitting on your shoulders. And every time you don’t let go, each day it gets a little heavier and a little heavier. Then you see, at the age of 15, the feelings of 45 years of age surrounding your body. Because under what you can’t let go, your old soul gets more and more crushed every day. Try to improve your appearance as much as you want to hide it from the outside…

When your soul is 45, your body cannot show 15.

Who owns your soul?

One day someone comes into your life and tells you that the things you have burdened yourself, up to this time, suck your soul. You start by thinking about what he means first. Then you ask yourself, could he be right? Then you question; how he can enjoy life so much even though nothing is going well in his life, even though he has many problems.

The answer is simple. Because he just lets everything flow. And he doesn’t choose to be that magical prisoner of self-control.

Experiencing uncertainty; It’s much better than thinking it will always be bad

There’s also the possibility that at least uncertainty can be good. But it always remains bad when you think only negatively.

Let’s go on a trip, my boyfriend said one day. We made a plan and decided where we were going. But after a while, we decided to get up and return home on an unknown road. We were going to live together, an experience that neither of us knew.

For me, who is constantly controlling even the smallest things in her life, this experience was a complete mystery. Because I was trying to think and determine what we would live on, on the road, and I also had a nice feeling of wonder about what would happen in my body.

Our enthusiasm and desire for uncertainty suddenly led us to a path we did not know. And this situation made me think about things in my soul and body that I had not realized before.

Had I misapplied the desire to control, which I had always believed was right and was protecting me? I suddenly thought of my childhood. Well, I didn’t want to live like that. Who is this inner voice?

If it was speaking for my own good, why was it trying to control me? Who actually belonged to this voice that mixed in and commented on everything? I suddenly had the opportunity to question myself on a journey I did not know.

When I turned 28, I realized that the voice in my head did not really reflect either my ideas or my desires. Actually, I wanted to be free like in my dreams. But I knew I wouldn’t be free if I listened to the voice in my head. I cannot live as I dream. When I thought I was in control of everything in my life, the voice in my head was actually controlling me.

That’s when I decided. I will choose the path of my own free will and live. Ever since I was little, I always believed that what the voice in my head was listening to was true.

I never questioned her until now. I let her rule me. But now it was my turn to lead. If I realized that she was controlling me, I would also have the power to resist her. This was the turning point in my life. And I had to choose.

How I want to continue my life from now on…

Would I act with my free will and ideas that I call my “me” thought, or with my value judgments consisting of the sum of the thoughts of my family, environment and friends that I have been influenced by since my childhood?

It all depended on my choice. Now was the time to make a choice and stand behind that choice and take responsibility for it.

And sometimes you have to take the path you never knew, to wake you up hidden in the unknown corners of your soul.

I knew that I couldn’t walk this road just for it to end. The path I walked meant my life. And I wasn’t going to live my life just for it to end.

It is such as me, the inside me, who is excited about her journey without knowing where she will go, which doors she will open in her life, which people she will touch.

Because sometimes it’s the tree in the corner that reminds you of you. Maybe the path followed by the trees on both sides of the road will lead you to you.

Then the lake view begins where the trees end and you start too; to live your life with the excitement of uncertainty.

It surrounds you like the smell of orange groves that you come across on an unfamiliar road, the smell of curiosity and excitement in the things you let go without control.

Then, when the rays of the sun look out from behind the hills, you find yourself grateful for the moments you lived one day with uncertainty, without thinking about what might happen to you. You stay for a while with the satisfaction of those moments that make you feel that you are alive, really alive.

And you want to relive that moment again and again. That contentment is so strong and it makes you so strong… You find the strength in yourself to endure the difficulties on your way out. And the stronger you become, the more fearless you become. Then you see, this strength becomes a steel vest for you while you experience your body and all the difficulties in your life.

Now is the time to live life without fear, to open your heart to uncertainties without fear. Because the way is your way, live the way you want to live. As long as you live your life for yourself!

Stay loving yourself!

Journeying in the Seat of Uncertainty was originally published in Flint and Steel on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“The mind is the cause of all sickness and the heart is the source of all healing. And when you don’t create problems, life opens up all its mysteries to you. He never opens up in front of someone who keeps asking questions.” (Osho)

The mind and the boundaries of the mind continue to be kept confidential even today. No matter how much work is done, no matter how much technology advances, there is still a lot waiting to be discovered. As the work progresses and goes deeper, what is discovered carries deeper meanings.

It’s like the life we actually live. The world inside us, our mind, and the outside world, our lives, are on the path of constant change and progress.

Mental illness

The mind, as a thinking being, has undertaken a task that separates us from other living things. What distinguishes humans from other living things is actually the ability to use the ability to think. This phenomenon can be both an advantage and a disadvantage for us from time to time.

Just think about it, you have a never-ending machine in your head that never shuts up and constantly makes comments both about itself and about the people around it. And this machine feeds on thoughts, so you charge it as you think.

In fact, even if such a point of view makes an inference about what could be bad, one cannot always have good thoughts. In fact, it has been seen in studies that around 60 thousand thoughts pass through our minds during the day. While 80% of these thoughts belong to negative thoughts, positive thoughts only cover 20% of them.

Sometimes we ask ourselves how much I think. And this question often remains unanswered. The thoughts that are constantly circulating in our minds multiply by spreading from one thought to another, like a contagious disease.

As I mentioned above, most of these are negative thoughts. And most of the time, we cannot get out of this confusion of thoughts and enter into a huge thought cloud. When we are aware of it and do not ask what I am doing and whether I need to stop and rest for a while, we become an aggravated life sentence prisoner of the thought cloud prison.

Freeing our mind from negative thoughts

I would like to start my sentence by saying that scientists have developed a button that will open our minds to thinking when we want and stop it when we want. But for now there is no such thing. But you know what? Since we can’t stop ourselves from thinking, let’s make changes in the quality of our thoughts.

It is as if we can produce a solution such as turning most of the negative thoughts and ideas that have the majority of our thoughts into positive ones. Although it sounds like an easy thing, it is actually a very difficult task, but if we want, we have the solution; within ourselves.

Just as we need an alarm to wake up from our nap, we also need a stimulus to get out of the thought cloud and wake our minds.

Directing the mind to the positive

We said that the mind is more prone to negative thoughts and they are more numerous in number. So is the solution really the cliché to focus on the positive? Why not? If we don’t have superpowers and a button to control thought hasn’t been invented yet, we can at least to direct ourselves to the positive.

Meditation and the effects of meditation are the greatest means of gaining the ability to direct our minds to positive thoughts. As a result of long-term trials that I have tried on myself, I can say that it has tremendous effects. With meditation:

By giving yourself a sense of immunity, you imagine yourself as someone who wanders through your thoughts but is not seen by them. As if you took a sip of the invisibility potion…

The answer given by most of us to the question, “Which superhero would you like to have the power of in your childhood?” We had the power of invisibility.

Do you remember your answer to the question, “Which superhero would you like to have the power of when you were a child?” My answer was to have the power of invisibility. Because this is really a great power.

Meditation has a wonderful effect in helping you experience it yourself. Negative thoughts that come into your mind while you meditate are looking inward. If you don’t get up and follow them when they come and call you, they just leave as if they didn’t see you there.

After a while, they start to reduce their visits because they think they can’t find you at home. Do you know what happens next? You now have a superpower: Invisibility. Now, when negative thoughts can’t see you, you turn yourself into a superhero who can control your mind.

Meditation Effect on the Mind

Apart from my experience, I would like to tell you about the scientifically proven effects of meditation. Then it’s time to make a sentence like this.

Scientific evidence shows that meditation nourishes the parts of the brain that provide well-being. Various parts of our brain work for certain activities. With brain scanning technology, the scientists studied these various regions while meditating and after an 8-week meditation workout.

As a result of the research, a thickening was observed in the gray structure in the center of the brain. You can say what it means, let me tell you right away. The development of this structure in the center of our brain means increased positive emotions, emotional resilience, and increased focus and concentration in daily life.

In other words, the positive effect of meditation that we feel in our daily life is not just a thought but a reflection of it in our lives.

It is possible to control the mind

Instead of letting your mind guide you, you guide it. You decide what you want to think, watch from afar if a negative or unpleasant thought knocks on your door. Let it in. Don’t be a hindrance.

How we exist, how we live in this life, they are also a part of this life. What matters is what kind of host you have when they arrive. How you welcome them.

When they come to your house, they will see if you are just watching and reacting to them. When they realize that they are not giving you any effect, they will understand over time that you are not a home to knock on the door.

At least that’s how I do it. And don’t worry, when they can’t make an effect, they don’t even want to stay for coffee when they see it.

If you have suggestions or observations about the deep resting (meditation) experience, you can share them with me in the comment section.

Stay loving yourself!

Resources: https://www.sensumpsychology.com/dusuncelerin-dansi
https://www.innerjoy.app/effects-of-meditation-on-brain%E2%80%8B/

Superpower Inside Our Mind was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.