What sorrow stung you so deeply,
that you’d steal someone’s chance to be proud of themselves — 
just to bury your own unhappiness?
Did you raise it?
Did you stand beside it when the rain fell?
Weren’t you the one who cursed it with your words?
Was your past not enough to make you proud of you — 
so you took from other instead?

Crushing the seed wasn’t enough — 
you bound its growth, like all the others.
Did you raise them?
Did you stand there when the rain fell?
Did you shield them when the sun scorched?
Did you offer water when they were close to wilting?
Weren’t you the one who cursed them with your words?

Do you remember?
Your curses — your crimes?
Do you remember us?
To tend the plants for their own life,
not to parade them as the prettiest in one’s garden.

You speak too loud,
full of pride, arrogance, and yourself.
Your promise was never a promise,
your apology was never sincere.
Your pretty words aren’t alive to the plants — 
all that just to show your ownership over them.
But you cannot own what you have never nurtured.

Time alone will reveal the true gardener — 
The one who knows their plants,
who offers water when they thirst,
who shields them when the sun stings,
who stays when the rain falls.

And when that time comes,
I hope the past lies far behind them.

12/05/2025
by @gerrypov

@gerrypov on Solo Exhibition “Infinity Yin Yang”

On 3th September, Lini Natalini Widhiasi returned with another three dimensional art. This time, using the concept of Yin and Yang, Lini brings the visitor a spiritual and psychological meaning through the concept of human as spiritual being, human energy and souls, the cycle of human life such as birth, social interaction, the turbulent life and emotions of humans.

This concept is also shown in her way of making the art itself. One of her unique methods is the process of melting the aluminium, showing the attitude of surrender and sincerity when facing life’s turbulence. This attitude shows the acceptance of reality that does not always come smoothly, which can lead people as a person to a bright side that brings happiness.

Not only that, Lini also wants to show the competence and benefit of national resources on an international level by using local-made materials such as aluminium and stainless steel as the arts materials, which can be shown in every piece of her art in the exhibition.

Some of the Lini’s art shows quite a similarity with today’s struggle such as tickled the fairy-tale thinkers, the one with unwillingness to accept the value of struggling in our life which leads to an unrealistic idea of life, the happily ever after dreamers.

Often times, as the world goes faster and wider, we’re able to reach almost everything around the internet, brings us to new culture of comparison one to another, ended up to apathy towards themself, or having a fear of trying, or even become the victim of the inevitable cruel, cruel world, and other things that can be named of.

Lini humbles the visitors by bringing the reality of life which is shown through her several art such as “Journey of Life”, “Suffer-Hope-Glory”, “Passion and Hope”.

Through “Journey of Life”, “Suffer-Hope-Glory”, “Passion and Hope”, and “Influence and To Be Influenced” which is telling us the unbroken ties between humankind and life’s turbulence.

Using the metaphor of a gem, Lini shared her thoughts through her art “Suffer-Hope-Glory” and “Passion and Hope”, how we as humans have the need to be polished with friction to achieve the beauty of a gem.

There is also another one called “Influence and To Be Influenced”, that shows us how influence, including influence from humans, can be such a motivation and help us find our purposes in life and become an influence to others too.

With “Paradoxical Life”, she is trying to show how life often applies the world’s backwards law and how that attracts our emotion, thoughts and attention. We attract what we don’t wish or want to happen in our life.

“Sometimes life’s truths turn out to be false, and vice versa. Sometimes illogical things can also prove to be logical. We don’t realize the depth of a paradox until we dive deep into its meaning.

The more knowledge you master, the more you realize how little you know.

People treat others as they treat themselves.

If you are afraid of failure, you are more likely to fail. The more we expect something to be difficult, the more difficult it becomes.” — Lini Natalini Widhiasi

This one might tickled some of Mark Manson’s fans, about paradoxical life. This art become a reminder of a figure that is used as the example in Mark Manson’s best seller book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, and Charles Bukowski’s not-so-motivated word in his gravestone that says “Don’t try.”

Paradoxical life, even though it is still hard to understand how life can work that way, might have big correlation with the attitude of accepting life the way it was and us as a human that is born with weaknesses and strength.

Another art called “Upside Down Mind” brings us to our perspective and how often we are trapped in routines and unable to observe more than what happens in the present situation. Lini also tickles us by asking the truth of how we see things and judge.

“In life, we frequently become mired in routines, unable to see past our present situation.

We like the idea of thinking that we see the world as it is, when in reality we see it through our perspective.

Our perspective is largely determined by our environment, experiences, and ideas.

But do we always see things as they are and judge the world correctly? Yes, but not all the time.”- Lini Natalini Widhiasi

Through these four art pieces, she explains how human kind will never be separated from turbulence using the metaphor of a gem that is polished with frictions and how influence including influence from humans can be such a motivation and help us find our purposes in life and become an influence to others too.

With “Paradoxical Life”, Lini shows the visitor how life often applies the backwards law and how we attract what we don’t wish or want to happen in our life.

“Sometimes life’s truths turn out to be false, and vice versa. Sometimes illogical things can also prove to be logical. We don’t realize the depth of a paradox until we dive deep into its meaning.

The more knowledge you master, the more you realize how little you know.

People treat others as they treat themselves.

If you are afraid of failure, you are more likely to fail. The more we expect something to be difficult, the more difficult it becomes.”

— Lini Natalini Widhiasi

Lini’s art became a good reminder of how life often works. Variety of the life line and we as living creatures with conscious thinking move around with it. Despite the ideology that she put into her own exhibition that might confuse visitors for not being able to understand it on a deeper level, she is able to use an approach that is still connected with the ideology she brings but also relatable with the visitors psychologically as a social and individual being. This offers us the simplest way yet can be the hardest battle of life, and that is acceptance. Through acceptance, we not only help ourselves to embrace life and its obstacles, but also pursue growth.

I’m telling you this just happen to me about four hours ago.

This often happen to mankind, seriously. It happen a lot at night, I mean, obviously. It is not because of our ancestors really, but more like relaxing activity at night? Playing with phone, scrolling through Instagram, or TikTok these kids nowadays. I’m guessing with the rise of productive influencers who become success and being productive is one of the reason people ended up motivated to do the same in order to achieve success. If we are talking about class, can we assume that all this happen to low and middle class?

Anyway, that is not my point of writing this, because what happen to me, is something that is the opposite of what we all know. The fact is, I randomly motivated at 10 am, and it last until two and a half hours. And of course, this happen to my regular goal as a job seeker.

I’m not a person who can easily be motivated, I’d rather be pessimist about it (sound depressed really). So, everytime I look for a job, I’d act small, which leads me to delaying my schedule to do what I actually have to do, but not today.

If I’m looking back to my recent activity, all I do is just the same. But also to be honest, I am doing a social media detox for the last two days. I don’t know if this related to the fact that I could be more productive in the morning and be able to apply many jobs.

If it is really have connection to each other, then I could say that thee result is quite good tho, I’m able to work on more project and more productive with my time. Plus, I’m not so interested in knowing people’s life to compare it mine. But really, I wish there were a scientific explanation to this. What do you think?

i seriously think people should be more serious about making a decision to learn new languages

This randomly just come to mind. I don’t even blame you if you find a grammatical error in my articles, but without confidently speaking in a language that doesn’t come originally when I’m growing up, I wouldn’t dare to create an account on this platform.

When it comes to second languages, people other than US and UK mind think that this only referring to English as a second language. It is, but it is also in the past. I mean, we all know that English as language is now having the position as “REQUIRE” or “STANDARD”. That is why, a lot of influencers these days, based on how frequent these type of influencers making appearance in my social media timelines, speaking in at least three languages or more.

I completely understand, “fish, like you think it was easy”. It is totally not. I mean I tried to learn Korean and it didn’t last long, I mean the interest. Everything just seems fine until the sources that I use have some errors on it. It got me thinking to look for new resources, and of course, that gives free access to learn.

Seriously, a job that I think is quite easy if I just study hard, is being a Translator. I mean, in this global network, what can I offer to translate if I only know my mother language and English? Most of job that they offer is rarely related with using my mother language, especially knowing that mother language is either not a trend, or the fact that English is not only for high-class only, and that my country has great speakers already. So where can I step in?

That is why learn new languages other than English felt so important, at least to me. I think the excitement when I can observe and understand what people do or act based on how they speak, is what makes me want to learn more about languages.

And to be honest, I love learning new languages, specially that doesn’t comes with alphabet that I use right now (except France, this language is like hot man to me). Languages like Korean, Japanese, or even Hebrew (this is the hardest one for me), is something I wish to learn in the future. What about you?

coming from a woman who just so frustrated looking for a job.

When it come to Job Seekers, of course we would do everything to at least get money or adding some skills by jumping into something “easy to do” or “taught by success influencers” who works while sleeping. It giving me idea that looking for a “small job” must be easy.

Turns out, it is not that easy. The thing with influencers is that they did not really show it how they do it, they just selling their voices. Every free download things that they over is like a preview or the title of something that we need to pay before actually get the access.

Seriously, I try my best not to put the blame on these influencers, I mean everyone needs to find their way to live right? But it gives such a headache to people like me, especially when it comes to promoting remote job places. That just change everything, i start to stop blaming on others and instead, I start to blaming myself.

I’m starting to see how these “remote work”, even for such entry-level, is not really an entry-level. It is just like how other company would hire people, high quality since born, makes me realize that these job position is not real, but it is the same as a real job would ask for.

I’m not trying to be fake and cuss all the remote work, and to be honest I still look forward to it. Plus, I still blame myself for not smart enough to do it. So, yeah. I’m still looking for a job. This is just a hope that anyone would see it and help me with tips. I try my best to take all the critics too, because, pfft obviously, life’s hard and I need to face it.

To what extent human can hold a pain? Can that be described by a number? Or is it unaccountable?

What level of pain of holding that we have to bring about others until they realize that there is something wrong?

Some people are just too empath. Some people know what it’s like to be screamed at, to be yelled at, to be ignored or being bullied by someone, to the point reach them that they won’t do what these people do, to be an saint in disguise. But this kind of act are just easily become a play to some jerks.

I never really yell, nor scream, verbally angry at someone, because it is awkward. But some people chose to dominance other in order to live.

It’s so unfair, especially when people like that are smart, acknowledge by people, realiable, while you over there, sitting in the corner, wondering why they doing this to you.

Is it because i’m small? Stupid? Weak? Probably. I never have the ball to step forward. To point what is wrong or what is it that needs to be fixed. In the end, i’m just sitting there.

I know everyone is just the same, while they were acting like that, they were also holding something i dont understand.

But, until when i have to understand that all alone while people can just live a life like there is no past to be fixed? Or at least, a lesson to learn.

I believe every human has specific period time where they having ‘the chosen one’ moment

That is also why we kept kn wondering, struggling and falling

Wondering where God went

Struggling keeping up the faith

And falling to the same pot we fell yesterday

It’s like a ladder snake game, where you stuck between the fate of going up and down

Where you standing on 99 but only given six dots dice

Where you look back and all the reptiles invites you to go downhill

Or when you become a champion but nowhere to go

G- 22.19 || 080324

A quite room full of scene

Some of walking dead and military forces of ants are in one places together

I was there too, funny how i just standing there like an outcast who tried so hard to make my own space, in my own anthills

Then the fire start to burn and my colony become a chaos

So i pet their back and said, “You’ve done so well, I’m proud of you. You must be felt tired.”

Droplets fall.

Once.. Twice..

Funny. There are also a rainbow there

None of them were leaving, they choose to stay and singing altogether like a choir on a church

What a chaos yet beautiful not-so-perfect harmony.

G — 29022024

It is just like yesterday, where your company brings comfort to ears

When the worlds sometimes can be too quite to be heard

When all the senses become a forces of thrumpet to bring comfort to the body

Now everything become a flash bring a drum to my ear

Like when the news reported someone’s suicide

When the cat touch a foil or cucumber

Or when the you fall from a tall building and wakes you up

Losing all the joy from the sound of the rain

And all that left is thunder without the calming sound of falling droplets

Like a mountain that suddenly blast without a warning

Like when the ground is dancing and the ocean join to the ball

All i heard is screaming man

And all i have is hands to cover myself up.

G-

05/01/2023

When everything back to their places

Some are not welcome by mind

Some offer sequel war

Some offer war of peace

Everything vanish in a second when we thought it last forever

Wondering what sin that cause all of this

Some parts are hanging while slowly dying

Most tears won’t come out

Praying for the end while gripping on fear to a new chapter

-G.

/15/11/2023