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        <title><![CDATA[Stories by Nicole Tholmer on Medium]]></title>
        <description><![CDATA[Stories by Nicole Tholmer on Medium]]></description>
        <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
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            <title>Stories by Nicole Tholmer on Medium</title>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
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        <lastBuildDate>Sat, 27 Jun 2026 12:46:27 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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            <title><![CDATA[How to Interrupt the Pattern Without Shaming Yourself]]></title>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-to-interrupt-the-pattern-without-shaming-yourself-dcccce83dd49?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/dcccce83dd49</guid>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Mon, 01 Jun 2026 13:06:00 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2026-06-01T13:06:00.637Z</atom:updated>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<figure><img alt="A woman sits in her car near a convenience store, holding a drink and snack bag while looking thoughtful. Text reads, “The Urge Is Not a Command: How to interrupt unhealthy habits without shame.”" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*66aBpJRe2Uzv7Q5irlIW3Q.png" /><figcaption><strong>The Urge Is Not a Command</strong></figcaption></figure><p>By now, Maya understands that the gas station stop was not just about food.</p><p>It was about stress.<br> It was about hunger.<br> It was about frustration.<br> It was about feeling criticized.<br> It was about needing something to take the edge off after a day that felt like too much.</p><p>That awareness matters.</p><p>But awareness alone does not always stop the habit.</p><p>Because there is a moment when the urge shows up and the old routine starts calling.</p><p>For Maya, that moment happened on the drive home. She was tired, hungry, and emotionally drained. She had already told herself this week would be different, but the closer she got to the gas station, the more her mind started making a case for stopping.</p><p><em>You had a hard day.<br></em> <em>You deserve something.<br></em> <em>It’s just one snack.<br></em> <em>You already messed up with the pastry anyway.<br></em> <em>You can start fresh tomorrow.</em></p><p>That is the moment where many people get stuck.</p><p>Not because they do not care.<br> Not because they do not want to change.<br> Not because they are weak.</p><p>They get stuck because the old habit has a script, and that script can get loud when stress is high.</p><h3>The Urge Does Not Mean You Have to Act</h3><p>One of the first things to understand is that an urge is not a command.</p><p>It may feel strong.<br> It may feel uncomfortable.<br> It may feel like it will not go away unless you give in.</p><p>But an urge is not the same thing as an action.</p><p>Maya could feel the pull toward the gas station. She could imagine the chips, the Cherry Coke, and the Kit Kat before she even pulled into the parking lot. Her mind was already rehearsing the relief.</p><p>That is how urges work. They try to convince us that the old habit is the fastest way to feel better.</p><p>But the urge itself is not failure.</p><p>The urge is information.</p><p>It tells us something is happening inside: stress, hunger, exhaustion, loneliness, anger, shame, or overwhelm.</p><p>The goal is not to shame yourself for having the urge.</p><p>The goal is to pause long enough to ask, “What is this urge trying to tell me?”</p><h3>The Pause Is Where Change Starts</h3><p>When the old habit shows up, most people try to fight it with force.</p><p>They say:</p><p>“I’m not doing this.”<br> “I need to stop.”<br> “I have to be stronger.”<br> “I should be over this by now.”</p><p>But fighting yourself often creates more tension.</p><p>A pause works differently.</p><p>A pause gives you space.</p><p>It does not have to be long. It may be thirty seconds. It may be two minutes. It may be the length of a deep breath before you make the next choice.</p><p>For Maya, a pause could have looked like sitting in the gas station parking lot before going inside.</p><p>Not to judge herself.</p><p>Not to shame herself.</p><p>Just to ask:</p><p>“What am I feeling right now?”<br> “Am I actually hungry, or am I trying to calm down?”<br> “What do I need besides food?”<br> “What choice will help me feel better later, not just right now?”</p><p>That small pause can interrupt the automatic pattern.</p><p>It may not make the urge disappear immediately. But it can give the healthier part of you enough room to speak.</p><h3>Name What Is Really Happening</h3><p>The old habit becomes stronger when we keep the feeling vague.</p><p>“I just want something.”<br> “I just need a treat.”<br> “I don’t care anymore.”<br> “I already messed up.”</p><p>Those thoughts can move us quickly into the old routine.</p><p>But naming the real experience slows the pattern down.</p><p>For Maya, the truth may have sounded more like:</p><p>“I am hungry.”<br> “I am embarrassed.”<br> “I am irritated.”<br> “I am exhausted.”<br> “I feel like I failed before the day even started.”<br> “I want comfort.”<br> “I want relief.”</p><p>That is different from “I have no self-control.”</p><p>Naming the feeling helps you respond to the real need instead of reacting to the urge.</p><p>If the need is hunger, the answer may be food.<br> If the need is comfort, the answer may be soothing.<br> If the need is anger, the answer may be expression.<br> If the need is exhaustion, the answer may be rest.<br> If the need is shame, the answer may be compassion.</p><p>The clearer you are about what is happening, the better chance you have of choosing something that actually helps.</p><h3>Make the Next Right Choice Smaller</h3><p>When people are trying to change a habit, they often make the next step too big.</p><p>Maya might tell herself, “I can never stop at the gas station again.”</p><p>That may sound strong, but in a stressful moment, it may feel impossible.</p><p>A smaller next step could be:</p><p>“I will sit in the car for one minute before going in.”<br> “I will call someone before I stop.”<br> “I will buy one planned snack instead of eating from stress.”<br> “I will go home and eat the meal I already prepared.”<br> “I will drink water first and check in with myself.”<br> “I will take three breaths before deciding.”</p><p>Small choices matter because they give the brain a new option.</p><p>The goal is not to become perfect in one moment.</p><p>The goal is to interrupt the pattern long enough to choose differently.</p><p>Even one small change weakens the old routine.</p><h3>Replace the Habit, Do Not Just Remove It</h3><p>This is important: Maya cannot just remove the gas station stop without replacing what it was giving her.</p><p>The stop gave her comfort.<br> It gave her relief.<br> It gave her a sense of reward.<br> It gave her something to look forward to after a hard day.</p><p>If she only says, “I’m not doing that anymore,” she may feel deprived, frustrated, and unsupported.</p><p>Instead, she needs another way to meet the same need.</p><p>Maybe she keeps a planned snack in her car.<br> Maybe she has a comforting dinner ready at home.<br> Maybe she makes tea as soon as she walks in.<br> Maybe she changes clothes and sits quietly for ten minutes before doing anything else.<br> Maybe she keeps a playlist for the drive home.<br> Maybe she calls someone who helps her feel grounded.</p><p>The replacement needs to be realistic.</p><p>Not perfect.<br> Not complicated.<br> Not something that only works on an easy day.</p><p>It has to work for tired Maya.<br> Hungry Maya.<br> Irritated Maya.<br> The Maya who is trying, but still human.</p><h3>Watch the Shame Spiral</h3><p>One of the biggest threats to change is shame.</p><p>Shame tells us:</p><p>“You already messed up.”<br> “You have no discipline.”<br> “You always do this.”<br> “You might as well keep going.”<br> “You can start over tomorrow.”</p><p>That is how one choice turns into a spiral.</p><p>For Maya, the pastry in the break room could have become the beginning of that spiral.</p><p>She may have thought, “Well, I already messed up today, so what’s the point?”</p><p>But one unplanned choice does not have to erase the whole day.</p><p>Eating the pastry did not mean she had to stop at the gas station.<br> Stopping at the gas station did not mean she had to give up for the week.<br> Having a hard day did not mean she was back at zero.</p><p>That is where self-compassion becomes practical.</p><p>Not soft.<br> Not permissive.<br> Practical.</p><p>Self-compassion helps you recover faster.</p><p>Instead of saying, “I ruined everything,” Maya could say, “This morning got away from me. I need to take care of myself before this turns into the whole day.”</p><p>That kind of response gives her a chance to come back to herself.</p><h3>Build an If-Then Plan</h3><p>A helpful way to interrupt a habit is to decide ahead of time what you will do when the cue shows up.</p><p>This is called an if-then plan.</p><p>It sounds simple, but it can be powerful because it gives your brain a script before the stressful moment happens.</p><p>For Maya, it could look like this:</p><p><strong>If I forget my lunch, then I will buy a balanced meal instead of waiting until I am starving.</strong></p><p><strong>If I feel criticized at work, then I will take two minutes to breathe before I move into the next task.</strong></p><p><strong>If I want to stop at the gas station after a stressful day, then I will call someone or drive straight home and make tea first.</strong></p><p><strong>If I still want a snack after dinner, then I will choose one planned snack and eat it sitting down, not standing at the counter or in the car.</strong></p><p>The point is not to control every moment.</p><p>The point is to give yourself support before the old pattern takes over.</p><h3>What Maya Could Try Next Time</h3><p>Let’s replay Maya’s day with a small interruption.</p><p>She wakes up late. Star hides the shoe. Traffic is terrible. Her meals are still on the kitchen island. Penelope makes the comment.</p><p>None of that changes.</p><p>But this time, Maya notices her stress earlier.</p><p>She tells herself, “I am already on edge, and I need to be careful with myself today.”</p><p>At lunch, instead of waiting until she is starving, she buys something that will actually hold her over.</p><p>Before leaving work, she eats a backup snack she keeps in her bag.</p><p>On the drive home, she still feels the pull toward the gas station.</p><p>But this time, she pauses.</p><p>She says, “I want comfort. I want relief. I do not have to shame myself for that. But I can choose a way that does not leave me feeling worse.”</p><p>Maybe she still wants something sweet.</p><p>So she decides what she is going to have before she walks in. Or maybe she drives home and has the dinner she already prepared. Or maybe she calls someone and lets herself talk through the day.</p><p>The point is not that she never struggles again.</p><p>The point is that she creates a moment of choice.</p><p>That moment matters.</p><h3>A Small Practice for This Week</h3><p>Think about one unhelpful habit you want to interrupt.</p><p>Then complete these sentences:</p><p><strong>When the urge shows up, I usually feel:</strong> _______.</p><p><strong>The old habit gives me:</strong> _______.</p><p><strong>What I actually need is:</strong> _______.</p><p><strong>Before I act, I will pause and:</strong> _______.</p><p><strong>One healthier replacement I can try is:</strong> _______.</p><p>For example:</p><p><strong>When the urge shows up, I usually feel:</strong> stressed and overwhelmed.</p><p><strong>The old habit gives me:</strong> quick comfort and relief.</p><p><strong>What I actually need is:</strong> food, calm, and reassurance.</p><p><strong>Before I act, I will pause and:</strong> take three breaths and ask what I really need.</p><p><strong>One healthier replacement I can try is:</strong> eat a planned snack, drink water, and take ten minutes to decompress.</p><p>This is not about perfection.</p><p>It is about practice.</p><h3>The Moment Between the Urge and the Action</h3><p>The old habit may still call your name.</p><p>The craving may still show up.<br> The stress may still rise.<br> The familiar routine may still feel easier.</p><p>But when you learn to pause, name what is happening, and choose one small replacement, you begin teaching your brain a new path.</p><p>That does not happen overnight.</p><p>And it usually does not happen just because you know better.</p><p>It happens through repetition.</p><p>One pause.<br> One different choice.<br> One moment of not shaming yourself.<br> One small return to the person you are trying to become.</p><p>And once you begin practicing that pause, the next question becomes: <strong>how do you build a new habit that actually lasts?</strong></p><p>That is what we will look at next.</p><img src="https://medium.com/_/stat?event=post.clientViewed&referrerSource=full_rss&postId=dcccce83dd49" width="1" height="1" alt="">]]></content:encoded>
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            <title><![CDATA[The Habit Is Often a Coping Strategy]]></title>
            <link>https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/the-habit-is-often-a-coping-strategy-a87f61649ccc?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/a87f61649ccc</guid>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2026 18:51:00 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2026-05-29T07:23:00.974Z</atom:updated>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<figure><img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*CCG_KAdkQC3zQl5cLcAQWA.png" /><figcaption>It’s Not Just About the Food</figcaption></figure><p>Most people focus on the behavior itself.</p><p>The chips.<br>The soda.<br>The candy.<br>The scrolling.<br>The procrastination.<br>The text they should not have sent.</p><p>But many unhelpful habits are not just random bad choices. They are coping strategies.</p><p>For Maya, the gas station stop was not just about wanting Ruffles, Cherry Coke, and a Kit Kat. It was about needing something to take the edge off after a day that left her hungry, frustrated, overstimulated, and emotionally worn down.</p><p>The habit was already familiar. What happened that Monday was that the stress got loud enough for the old pattern to take over.</p><p>That is why changing a habit takes more than saying, “I need to stop.” We have to understand what the habit is helping us cope with.</p><p>The Habit Usually Has a Job</p><p>When a habit keeps showing up, it is often doing something for us.</p><p>It may be helping us avoid a feeling.<br>It may be helping us calm down.<br>It may be helping us feel comforted.<br>It may be helping us feel in control.<br>It may be helping us disconnect from a hard moment.</p><p>That does not mean the habit is healthy. It means the habit makes sense when we understand the need underneath it.</p><p>For Maya, food gave her a quick sense of comfort. It gave her something familiar after a day that felt unpredictable. It gave her a moment where she did not have to think about Penelope, the missed meals, the traffic, or how disappointed she already felt in herself.</p><p>The problem was not that Maya needed comfort.</p><p>The problem was that food had become one of the fastest ways she knew how to get it.</p><p>Stress Makes Old Patterns Louder</p><p>It is easier to make thoughtful choices when we are rested, fed, calm, and supported.</p><p>It is much harder when we are hungry, embarrassed, overstimulated, and emotionally drained.</p><p>That is why Maya’s Sunday plan felt so clear when she made it. She had prepped her meals. She felt motivated. She could picture herself following through.</p><p>But Monday evening was different.</p><p>By then, she was not operating from calm motivation. She was running on empty. Her body needed food. Her mind needed relief.</p><p>In that state, the old habit felt easier than the new choice.</p><p>This is why willpower alone is not enough. Willpower gets weaker when stress gets stronger.</p><p>The Habit May Be Trying to Help, Even If It Hurts Later</p><p>This is the part that can be hard to accept.</p><p>Sometimes the habit we are trying to stop is also the thing that has been helping us get through.</p><p>For Maya, food helped her soften the sharp edges of the day. For someone else, scrolling may help them avoid loneliness. Shopping may help them feel a quick sense of control. Procrastination may help them avoid fear of failure. Going back to an unhealthy relationship may temporarily quiet the fear of being alone.</p><p>The habit may work for a moment.</p><p>But then comes the cost.</p><p>The regret.<br>The shame.<br>The physical discomfort.<br>The lost time.<br>The emotional crash.<br>The feeling of “Why did I do this again?”</p><p>That is what makes unhelpful habits so frustrating. They give relief quickly, but they often create pain later.</p><p>Ask What the Habit Is Helping You Cope With</p><p>Instead of starting with, “What is wrong with me?” try starting with, “What is this helping me cope with?”</p><p>That question changes the whole tone.</p><p>It moves you out of shame and into understanding.</p><p>For Maya, the question might sound like:</p><p>Was I trying to cope with hunger?<br>Was I trying to cope with frustration?<br>Was I trying to cope with embarrassment?<br>Was I trying to cope with feeling criticized?<br>Was I trying to cope with exhaustion?<br>Was I trying to cope with the pressure of trying to get it right?</p><p>Once she names what she is coping with, she has more options.</p><p>Because now the goal is not just “stop eating chips.”</p><p>The goal becomes: “How can I care for myself when I am hungry, stressed, embarrassed, and exhausted?”</p><p>That is a very different question.</p><p>The New Habit Has to Meet the Same Need</p><p>If an old habit is giving comfort, the new habit has to offer comfort too.</p><p>If the old habit gives relief, the new habit has to offer relief.</p><p>If the old habit gives escape, the new habit has to offer a healthier kind of pause.</p><p>That is where many people get stuck. They try to remove the old habit without giving themselves another way to meet the need.</p><p>Maya’s healthier eating routine cannot only be about discipline. It also has to include a plan for stressful days.</p><p>Maybe that means keeping a backup snack in her bag.<br>Maybe it means having an emergency meal option at work.<br>Maybe it means calling someone on the drive home.<br>Maybe it means going straight home and taking ten minutes to decompress before eating.<br>Maybe it means reminding herself, “I am not failing. I am overwhelmed and I need care.”</p><p>The new habit has to be practical enough for real life.</p><p>Not perfect-life Maya.</p><p>Real-life Maya.</p><p>The Maya who sleeps through alarms sometimes.<br>The Maya whose puppy steals shoes.<br>The Maya who forgets lunch on the kitchen island.<br>The Maya who gets her feelings hurt by Penelope and still has to finish her workday.</p><p>That is the Maya who needs the plan.</p><p>A Small Practice for This Week</p><p>Think about one habit you keep repeating.</p><p>Then ask yourself:</p><p>What does this habit help me cope with?</p><p>Does it help me cope with stress?<br>Loneliness?<br>Boredom?<br>Anger?<br>Shame?<br>Fear?<br>Exhaustion?<br>Feeling out of control?</p><p>Then ask:</p><p>What do I actually need in that moment?</p><p>Comfort?<br>Rest?<br>Food?<br>Connection?<br>Encouragement?<br>A break?<br>A way to calm my body?<br>A way to feel less alone?</p><p>Now choose one healthier response that meets the same need.</p><p>Not the perfect response.</p><p>Just a better one.</p><p>Where Change Begins</p><p>Unhelpful habits are often coping strategies that have outlived their usefulness.</p><p>They may have helped us get through stress, loneliness, fear, or exhaustion at some point. But if they are now costing us our peace, confidence, health, or self-trust, they deserve our attention.</p><p>Not our shame.</p><p>Our attention.</p><p>For Maya, the gas station stop was not just about food. It was about stress, hunger, frustration, and needing comfort after a day that felt like too much.</p><p>But understanding what the habit is helping us cope with is only part of the work.</p><p>The next question is: what do we do in the moment when the urge shows up?</p><p>Because that is where many people get stuck. They understand the pattern. They know the habit is not helping. They even know what they want to do differently.</p><p>But then the stress hits.</p><p>The craving shows up.</p><p>The old routine starts calling.</p><p>And suddenly, the new choice feels far away.</p><p>That moment — the space between the urge and the action — is where change begins.</p><p>In the next part, we will talk about how to interrupt the pattern without shaming yourself, so you can create enough space to choose something different.</p><img src="https://medium.com/_/stat?event=post.clientViewed&referrerSource=full_rss&postId=a87f61649ccc" width="1" height="1" alt=""><hr><p><a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/the-habit-is-often-a-coping-strategy-a87f61649ccc">The Habit Is Often a Coping Strategy</a> was originally published in <a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind">Clear Yo Mind</a> on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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            <title><![CDATA[Why We Keep Doing Things We Know Aren’t Good for Us]]></title>
            <link>https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/why-we-keep-doing-things-we-know-arent-good-for-us-56ed4c75ed20?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/56ed4c75ed20</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[self-improvement]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[habits]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[this-happened-to-me]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[clear-yo-mind]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2026 06:56:57 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2026-05-22T06:56:57.488Z</atom:updated>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<figure><img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*KR7olAQEs23foiR-AeXdTg.jpeg" /></figure><p>What a miserable Monday morning.</p><p>Everything that could go wrong for Maya did.</p><p>When Maya woke up, she was already behind. She had slept through her alarm. While rushing to get dressed, she discovered that Star, her mischievous puppy, had decided one of her shoes was the perfect toy for a morning game of hide-and-seek.</p><p>By the time Maya found it, finished getting dressed, and made it to the expressway, traffic was at a standstill.</p><p>In all the chaos, Maya completely forgot the breakfast and lunch she had packed sitting on the kitchen island.</p><p>By the time she finally made it into the office, her stomach was growling, her nerves were already frayed, and she could feel herself getting closer to snapping.</p><p>As soon as she walked in, she ran into Penelope, her “always perfect” coworker, who never seemed to miss a chance to point out someone else’s mistake.</p><p>“Late start today?” Penelope asked with a polished smile.</p><p>Maya forced a tight smile of her own, rolled her eyes, and said, “Good morning to you too,” before walking to her desk.</p><p>On the way to her desk, she passed the break room and spotted one lonely pastry sitting on the counter, practically calling her name. She grabbed it without thinking. She justified the decision by telling herself she needed something on her stomach. But the voice in the back of her mind was already critiquing her worse than Penelope had, listing every mistake she had made that morning.</p><p>And the day had barely started.</p><p>By the time Maya left work that evening, she was exhausted, irritated, and overstimulated. The whole day felt like too much: Star hiding her shoe, traffic stealing her morning, Penelope’s comment replaying in her mind, the pastry she grabbed because she skipped breakfast, and the work tasks she forced herself to complete while running on empty.</p><p>She had promised herself this week would be different. On Sunday evening, she had prepped her meals, packed her breakfast and lunch, and told herself she was done letting stressful days decide what she ate.</p><p>But by Monday evening, after the kind of day she had, that promise felt a lot harder to keep. Before she even fully realized what she was doing, Maya pulled into the gas station.</p><p>She walked out with a bag of Ruffles sour cream and onion chips, a large Cherry Coke, and a king-size Kit Kat.</p><p>At first, she told herself it was not a big deal. She had a hard day. She deserved a treat.</p><p>But by the time she got home, the bag was already open, the Cherry Coke was half gone, and she could feel that familiar mix of relief and disappointment settling in.</p><p>Long gone was the promise she had made to herself Sunday evening, right after prepping her meals for the week. The plan that once felt clear now felt far away, and the old habit felt easier than the new choice she was trying to practice.</p><p>That is how unhelpful habits and stress eating patterns often work. They do not always show up because we are careless, weak, or undisciplined. Sometimes they show up because we are overwhelmed, emotionally tired, underfed, and looking for relief.</p><p>For Maya, food was not just food in that moment. It was comfort. It was escape. It was a coping strategy for stress — a way to quiet what she had been carrying all day.</p><p>And that is why breaking unhealthy habits takes more than telling yourself to stop. Whether the pattern is emotional eating, procrastination, scrolling, overspending, or returning to unhealthy relationships, real habit change starts with understanding what the habit is doing for you.</p><p>Before we can change a habit, we have to understand how it became part of the way we cope.</p><p>For Maya, the gas station stop was not just about chips, soda, and candy. It was about stress. Hunger. Frustration. The need for comfort. The need to take the edge off.</p><p>And once we understand that, we can begin looking at the habit differently — not as proof that we failed, but as information about what we need.</p><p>That is where real change begins.</p><img src="https://medium.com/_/stat?event=post.clientViewed&referrerSource=full_rss&postId=56ed4c75ed20" width="1" height="1" alt=""><hr><p><a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/why-we-keep-doing-things-we-know-arent-good-for-us-56ed4c75ed20">Why We Keep Doing Things We Know Aren’t Good for Us</a> was originally published in <a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind">Clear Yo Mind</a> on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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            <title><![CDATA[Beginner Coloring Supplies You Actually Need]]></title>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/beginner-coloring-supplies-you-actually-need-efde16fc7baa?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/efde16fc7baa</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[coloring-supplies]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[adult-coloring]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[adult-coloring-books]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 14:47:39 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2026-05-21T14:47:39.970Z</atom:updated>
            <content:encoded><![CDATA[<figure><img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*HLilvnUT-UojJV4Tc5Z1-w.jpeg" /></figure><p><strong>Disclosure:</strong> This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I may also earn a commission from Walmart Creator links, at no extra cost to you.</p><p>When starting your coloring hobby, don’t be like me and buy every supply someone recommends online.</p><p>I watched a few too many YouTube videos, got excited, and bought marker sets, gel pens, pencils, coloring books, storage cases, and tools I thought I <em>had</em> to have. The truth? Some of those supplies barely got used. Some I still do not use.</p><p>And the coloring books? I learned the hard way that buying full books before knowing what style you enjoy can leave you with a shelf full of barely touched pages.</p><p>That is why I created this guide.</p><p>Adult coloring should feel relaxing and doable — not like another hobby that requires a cart full of supplies before you can begin.</p><h3>But What About TikTok Favorites?</h3><p>If you have spent time on Coloring TikTok, you have probably seen people recommend Ohuhu markers, Bobbie Goods coloring books, acrylic markers, and big supply hauls.</p><p>Those products can be fun, and some are popular for a reason. But that does not mean every beginner needs to start there.</p><p>Before you spend money on trendy supplies, figure out what kind of coloring you actually enjoy. Try free coloring pages or low-cost downloadable pages first. Test styles like bold and easy designs, cozy scenes, mandalas, flowers, inspirational words, and detailed pages.</p><p>Once you know what you like, it becomes easier to decide whether you want alcohol markers, colored pencils, acrylic markers, gel pens, or a specific coloring book style.</p><p>The goal is not to avoid popular supplies. The goal is to avoid buying a cartful of products before you know what suits your coloring style. My truth? Once I learned what I actually liked to color and which supplies worked best for me, I started to “rinse and repeat” instead of chasing every new recommendation.</p><p><strong>Here’s a practical list of beginner coloring supplies that give you the biggest bang for your buck, so you can start coloring without overspending.</strong></p><h3>1. Free or Downloadable Coloring Pages</h3><p>Before buying several coloring books, try free coloring pages or downloadable pages from places like Etsy.</p><p>Downloadable pages let you test different styles before committing to a full book that may sit untouched.</p><p>You may discover you prefer:</p><ul><li>Bold and easy designs</li><li>Inspirational words</li><li>Flowers</li><li>Mandalas</li><li>Cozy scenes</li><li>Animals</li><li>Grayscale pages</li><li>Detailed patterns</li><li>Simple beginner-friendly pages</li></ul><p>Not every coloring style feels relaxing to every person. Some people love tiny details. Others find them frustrating. I learned this the hard way when I first started with very detailed coloring pages. Instead of feeling calm, I experienced analysis paralysis trying to decide where to start, what colors to use, and how to finish the page.</p><p>Many of those pages ended up unfinished because coloring started to feel more like a task than a relaxing break.</p><p><strong>Need help finding free pages?</strong> Check out my list of<a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/where-to-find-free-coloring-pages-top-10-sites-for-free-coloring-pages-d8d7b1ba5634"> websites that offer free coloring pages</a> so you can try different styles before buying full coloring books.</p><p><strong><em>Beginner tip:</em><br></strong>Print or download a few different styles first. This can save money and prevent you from collecting dozens of blank or barely completed coloring books.</p><h3>2. Colored Pencils</h3><p>Colored pencils are one of the easiest supplies for beginners.</p><p>They are great because they:</p><ul><li>Give you control</li><li>Are less likely to bleed through pages</li></ul><figure><img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*5CypnUgOX7tZ3cxIqS4ymg.jpeg" /></figure><ul><li>Works well for shading</li><li>Are easy to store</li><li>Are easy to grab and use</li></ul><p><strong>Beginner tip:</strong><br> Start with a basic 24-count or 36-count set. You do not need a huge set right away, but if you want more color variety without spending a lot, a larger budget-friendly set can be worth it.</p><p><strong>Budget pick:</strong><br> The Amazon Basics colored pencil set is a good option if you want a larger color range at a beginner-friendly price. The 72-count set gives you plenty of colors to experiment with without jumping straight into more expensive artist-grade pencils.</p><p><strong>Shop my Amazon colored pencil pick:</strong><br> <a href="https://amzn.to/4fzaoMw">https://amzn.to/4fzaoMw</a></p><h3>3. A Blender Pencil</h3><p>If you plan to use colored pencils, a blender pencil is worth adding to your beginner kit.</p><p>A blender pencil helps soften harsh lines, smooth out color, blend colors, and make colored pencil work look more polished.</p><p><strong><em>Beginner tip:</em></strong><br> Start by coloring lightly instead of pressing hard. After you add a few light layers of color, go over the area with your blender pencil to smooth the color and soften harsh pencil lines.</p><p><strong>My blender pencil pick:</strong><br> The Prismacolor blender pencil is a helpful add-on if you want your colored pencil work to look smoother and more blended without needing advanced skills.</p><p><strong>Shop my blender pencil pick:</strong><br> <a href="https://amzn.to/4dzJstw">https://amzn.to/4dzJstw</a></p><h3>4. Gel Pens</h3><p>Gel pens are great for adding detail and making a page feel finished.</p><p>They work well for:</p><ul><li>Small spaces</li><li>Lettering</li><li>Sparkle accents</li><li>Borders</li><li>Mandalas</li><li>Highlighting details</li></ul><p><strong>Beginner tip:<br></strong>Use gel pens for accents instead of coloring an entire page with them. This helps your pens last longer.</p><p><strong>Bonus tip:<br></strong>A white gel pen is useful for highlights, dots, shine, and small finishing touches.</p><h3>5. Markers</h3><p>Markers are helpful when you want bold, bright color.</p><p>For beginners, washable markers, water-based markers, or dual-tip markers are a good starting point before moving into alcohol markers.</p><p>Markers work well for:</p><ul><li>Bold designs</li><li>Large spaces</li><li>Quick coloring sessions</li><li>Bright color</li><li>Simple coloring pages</li></ul><h3>6. Budget Alcohol Markers</h3><p>If you want a smoother, brighter color, a budget alcohol marker set can be a good next step after colored pencils and gel pens.</p><p>Alcohol markers can make simple designs look polished, but they usually bleed through thinner coloring pages. A budget set is a good way to try them before investing in a large professional set.</p><p><strong>Budget pick:<br></strong>Huto Art Markers are a beginner-friendly option if you want bold color and smoother coverage without starting with a more expensive set.</p><h3>7. A Good Pencil Sharpener</h3><p>A dull pencil can make coloring frustrating. A sharp pencil gives you cleaner lines, better control, and easier shading.</p><p>Look for a sharpener that:</p><ul><li>Works with colored pencils</li><li>Has a shavings container</li><li>Is easy to clean</li><li>Does not break pencil tips easily</li></ul><h3>8. A Pencil Case or Storage Pouch</h3><p>You do not need fancy storage, but you do need something that keeps your supplies together.</p><p>A pencil case, pouch, small bin, or marker bag makes it easier to grab your supplies when you want to color.</p><p>When everything is in one place, coloring feels easier to start.</p><h3>9. A Clipboard or Lap Desk</h3><p>You do not need a full art desk to enjoy coloring.</p><p>A clipboard or lap desk gives you a sturdy surface, especially if you color on the couch, in bed, or away from a table.</p><p>This helps with comfort, portability, and keeping pages flat.</p><h3>10. A Blank Sheet of Paper or Cardstock</h3><p>Keep a blank sheet of printer paper or cardstock behind the page you are coloring. This protects the next page from marker bleed-through, gel pen transfer, or pressure marks.</p><p>This is especially helpful when using markers, gel pens, alcohol markers, dark colors, heavy pressure, or double-sided coloring books.</p><p><strong>11. White Gel Pens</strong></p><p>A good white gel pen helps add highlights, fix small mistakes, add shine, and create finishing touches.</p><p><strong>Shop my Amazon favorite:<br></strong><a href="https://amzn.to/4dDj4z5">https://amzn.to/4dDj4z5</a></p><h3><em>What You Do Not Need Right Away</em></h3><p><em>When you are just starting, you do not need to buy every coloring tool or coloring book you see.</em></p><p><em>You can skip:</em></p><ul><li><em>Expensive professional marker sets</em></li><li><em>Very expensive copy paper</em></li><li><em>Huge pencil or marker sets</em></li><li><em>Multiple coloring books at once</em></li><li><em>Every trendy supply someone recommends online</em></li></ul><p>Start simple. Learn what you enjoy. Then build your collection over time.</p><h3>My Suggested Beginner Coloring Kit</h3><p>Start with:</p><ul><li>A few free coloring pages or downloadable pages from Etsy</li><li>One set of colored pencils</li><li>One blender pencil</li><li>One set of gel pens</li><li>One basic marker set</li><li>One budget alcohol marker set, optional</li><li>A pencil sharpener</li><li>A pencil case or pouch</li><li>A clipboard or lap desk</li><li>Blank paper or cardstock to protect your pages</li></ul><h3>That is enough to get started without overspending.</h3><h3>HOTU Art Markers</h3><p>HOTU Art Markers are a budget-friendly option if you want to try alcohol markers without jumping straight into a more expensive set.</p><p><strong>Shop my Amazon favorite:<br></strong><a href="https://amzn.to/4wOkAHp">https://amzn.to/4wOkAHp</a></p><h3>Shop My Beginner Coloring Supplies Collection</h3><p>I created a Walmart collection with affordable beginner-friendly coloring supplies, including markers, gel pens, colored pencils, sharpeners, storage tools, and cozy coloring essentials.</p><p><strong>Shop my Walmart collection:<br></strong><a href="https://walmrt.us/4upRJaI">https://walmrt.us/4upRJaI</a></p><h3>Final Thoughts</h3><p>Coloring does not have to be complicated. You do not need to be artistic or highly skilled to enjoy it.</p><p>Start with free or downloadable coloring pages, try a few styles, and learn what you actually enjoy before buying a stack of books. That small step can save money and help you avoid collecting dozens of blank or barely completed coloring books.</p><p>Let coloring become a small moment of calm in your day — not another hobby that creates clutter, pressure, or buyer’s remorse.</p><h3>Disclosure</h3><p>This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I may also earn a commission from Walmart Creator links. If you choose to use one of my links, I may be paid a commission at no extra cost to you.</p><img src="https://medium.com/_/stat?event=post.clientViewed&referrerSource=full_rss&postId=efde16fc7baa" width="1" height="1" alt="">]]></content:encoded>
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            <title><![CDATA[When You’re Not Sad — but Overwhelmed and Unmotivated: 7 Small Shifts That Help]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/when-youre-not-sad-but-overwhelmed-and-unmotivated-7-small-shifts-that-help-464339a12040?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2600/1*jgGlAZmjPu8TiDQtFVq2cQ.jpeg" width="8017"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">Depression doesn&#x2019;t always show up as tears.</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/when-youre-not-sad-but-overwhelmed-and-unmotivated-7-small-shifts-that-help-464339a12040?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Medium »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/when-youre-not-sad-but-overwhelmed-and-unmotivated-7-small-shifts-that-help-464339a12040?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/464339a12040</guid>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Fri, 30 Jan 2026 19:45:42 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2026-01-30T19:45:42.546Z</atom:updated>
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            <title><![CDATA[How to Survive the Holidays With Your Toxic Family]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-to-survive-the-holidays-with-your-toxic-family-631f5dc1d53e?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2600/1*jMsZ0rLk-kufzjHcv5DupA.jpeg" width="8192"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">A simple guide to staying calm, grounded, and at peace this holiday season</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-to-survive-the-holidays-with-your-toxic-family-631f5dc1d53e?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Medium »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-to-survive-the-holidays-with-your-toxic-family-631f5dc1d53e?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/631f5dc1d53e</guid>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Mon, 08 Dec 2025 15:09:06 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2025-12-08T15:09:06.395Z</atom:updated>
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            <title><![CDATA[Open Letter: This Feels Like Psychological Abuse on a National Scale]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/open-letter-this-feels-like-psychological-abuse-on-a-national-scale-037636908abb?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2600/1*oe_yU2JZC-e4_a6czfX06g.jpeg" width="4608"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">I&#x2019;m writing this not just as a concerned citizen, but as someone who is emotionally exhausted and increasingly afraid of what&#x2019;s happening&#x2026;</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/open-letter-this-feels-like-psychological-abuse-on-a-national-scale-037636908abb?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Medium »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/open-letter-this-feels-like-psychological-abuse-on-a-national-scale-037636908abb?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/037636908abb</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[justice]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[psychological-abuse]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[federal-government]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[constitution]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Tue, 22 Jul 2025 00:15:08 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2025-07-22T00:26:12.637Z</atom:updated>
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            <title><![CDATA[10 Tips for Improving Sleep: Wake Up Feeling Rested and Refreshed]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/10-tips-for-improving-sleep-wake-up-feeling-rested-and-refreshed-4fcde3f75d10?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2600/1*B-O2zk-nNSEqlSWpadoF0A.jpeg" width="7718"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">Are you tossing and turning at night? Struggling to get quality rest? Sleep plays a crucial role in our mental and physical health, yet&#x2026;</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/10-tips-for-improving-sleep-wake-up-feeling-rested-and-refreshed-4fcde3f75d10?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Clear Yo Mind »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/10-tips-for-improving-sleep-wake-up-feeling-rested-and-refreshed-4fcde3f75d10?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/4fcde3f75d10</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[stress-relief]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[sleep-hygiene]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[relaxation-techniques]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[better-sleep-tips]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[nighttime-routine]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2025 15:37:05 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2025-03-17T15:37:05.620Z</atom:updated>
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            <title><![CDATA[How Breathwork Changed My Life]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-breathwork-changed-my-life-306fc9703252?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/2600/1*Jx8-6keLCMZ7hO0obstyLw.jpeg" width="6378"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">For years, I struggled with limited awareness of my anxiety and stress reactions. I jokingly said that my default emotion was anxiety&#x2026;</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-breathwork-changed-my-life-306fc9703252?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Medium »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/how-breathwork-changed-my-life-306fc9703252?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/306fc9703252</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[breathing-exercise]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[trauma]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[breathwork]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[breathing-technique]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[anxiety-relief]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Wed, 12 Mar 2025 18:00:50 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2025-03-12T18:03:14.614Z</atom:updated>
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            <title><![CDATA[The Psychology of Habits: Why We Repeat Unhealthy Patterns (and How to Break Them)]]></title>
            <description><![CDATA[<div class="medium-feed-item"><p class="medium-feed-image"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/the-psychology-of-habits-why-we-repeat-unhealthy-patterns-and-how-to-break-them-df5f0a3a2f5a?source=rss-adceae8add15------2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1600/0*4Pn9j2wd4T4U2qna" width="1600"></a></p><p class="medium-feed-snippet">Have you ever found yourself reaching for that extra cookie or scrolling mindlessly through social media, even when you swore you&#x2019;d stop&#x2026;</p><p class="medium-feed-link"><a href="https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/the-psychology-of-habits-why-we-repeat-unhealthy-patterns-and-how-to-break-them-df5f0a3a2f5a?source=rss-adceae8add15------2">Continue reading on Medium »</a></p></div>]]></description>
            <link>https://medium.com/@solaceIntervention16/the-psychology-of-habits-why-we-repeat-unhealthy-patterns-and-how-to-break-them-df5f0a3a2f5a?source=rss-adceae8add15------2</link>
            <guid isPermaLink="false">https://medium.com/p/df5f0a3a2f5a</guid>
            <category><![CDATA[habits]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[self-improvement]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category>
            <category><![CDATA[habit-building]]></category>
            <dc:creator><![CDATA[Nicole Tholmer]]></dc:creator>
            <pubDate>Wed, 30 Oct 2024 19:27:29 GMT</pubDate>
            <atom:updated>2024-10-30T19:28:51.946Z</atom:updated>
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