There’s No Place Like Home

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

First come the pitchers and catchers,
Then the infielders and outfielders.
Ballplayers exchange gardening gear and evening wingtips
For oiled fielding gloves and sharpened metal cleats.

Reversing Dorothy’s migration in The Wizard of Oz,
They click their heels three times,
Leaving home for Spring Training’s cause.
They dream of America’s welcoming climes.

First come the Koreans and Venezuelans,
Then the Japanese and Puerto Ricans.
They’re stopped at patrolled borders,
Denied re-entry by thuggish hoarders.

But don’t you think politics spoils all the fun?
We’re all rooting for the home team in Arizona’s desert.
How about we just play ball in the Florida sun?
Baseball’s a balm for our divided country’s tragic hurt.

 

MLB All-Lincoln’s-Birthday Team

1B   Frank “Honest Abe” Kellert
2B   Abraham Toro
SS   Ollie Beard
3B   Abraham Núñez

LF   Abraham Almonte
CF   Ted Beard
RF   George “High Pockets” Kelly

C    Nat “Of the People, By the People and For the” Peeples

LHP   Len Whitehouse, Abe Alvarez
RHP   Brad Lincoln, Mike Lincoln, Dennis “El Presidente” Martínez

MGR   Connie “The Tall Tactician” Mack

Image

Life is Good, Revisited

by James Finn Garner

Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff,
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp,
Your curtains caught fire from a knocked-over lamp —
.      Relax!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp —
.      Smile!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

DC’s infected by grifters and tramps,
Pushing democracy off a steep ramp,
But they are outnumbered and we are the champs —
.      Keep the faith!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

Mickey Lolich, 1968

by James Finn Garner

RIP, 1940-2026

It was the Year of the Pitch-
ers, Gibson, McLain.
No thought given to Lolich
Who threw a complete game.
Mick (not one to bitch)
Tossed another again
And scratching an itch
Hit a homer like Novocaine.
Cards fans tried to bewitch
Him for the final game.

But Mick found his niche
Didn’t show a glitch
Feel a twitch
Or a hitch
And gained
New fame
In Mich-
Again.

 

MLB All-Yule Team

By James Finn Garner and Jim Siergey

1B   J.T. Snow
2B   Cupid Childs
SS   Dasher Troy
3B   Yuli Gurriel

LF   Cookie Rojas
CF   Jesus Alou
RF   Rob Deer

C     Jorge Posada

PH  Steve Christmas, Brett Carroll

RHP Jon Garland, Dave Frost, Dick Pole
LHP Al Clauss, Jeff Holly, Don Rudolph

Mgr.  Jolly Cholly Grimm

Image