Unknown's avatar

Stepping into 2026, with three guiding words by my side.

by

The sun has risen and set on this, the first day of 2026 with a promise of a touch of extra daylight tomorrow, and the day after as winter solstice slips into the distance behind us, and the spring equinox smiles at us. It always feels just that bit closer when we cross over the imaginary line that is the old year to the new.

Image

And I step into another intangible space, one which has been resting quietly for exactly a year now, and that is the place where I am now putting my thoughts and words down where there was once a great deal more action. Yes, the blog has been quiet, and has been woken to carry on my practice of selecting and sharing the three words which I have selected as my mantra for the coming year. In the past there were updates about diagnosis, treatment, health and insights from my life and work over the seas. Life has moved on and while there are continued health updates, perfectly natural when at this stage of life, this not the newsy space it once was. The gecko and I are in conversation about how to keep this space alive and interesting and that is somewhat reflected in my choice of the three words for 2026.

But there is pressing business for today. As ever I have spent the past weeks gently reflecting on the year, sitting with my 2025 words and starting to think of the coming year and opening my heart to the universe of possible words to accompany me through 2026. And it is time to share those words, as has become my tradition.

I find it hard to believe that I am entering my 17th year of selecting a three word mantra. And every single year, I have found the practice to be which keeps me focused and motivated on the areas I want to prioritise. I love looking back over the words which have accompanied me since Hogmanay 2009, and the space beside 2026 brings a shiver of anticipation.

Image

Last year, I settled on “Orchestration, horizon and constellation” to articulate my intentions for the year. They have walked alongside me through the year, keeping me on track. This has been especially important this year as I made the decision at the start of the year to step back almost fully from work assignments and into proper retirement. This brings the risk that days are squandered and boredom could set in. My first word, orchestration, highlighted the importance of bringing structure to my days and weeks and being proactive. I am incredibly fortunate as I find that there is so much that I want to do, and now have the time to do it. Living a frugal and simple life means that I am not talking about extravagant activities and plans, but my days are filled with actions that are mostly inexpensive and often free. My reading obsession is fed by a wonderful local library, and with a monthly read for a “Women in Translation” book group, that brings both new and fascinating reading as well as a modest set of books to procure. In addition to time spent at home writing, I also attend (mostly online) writing groups and workshops. Most are free, some are not and a very few are costly and are an occasional treat. But a treat where I learn and develop enormously. It is a balance which it turns out has been carefully orchestrated. I am so fortunate that boredom is something which is unable to find a space to intrude. I have also been proactive and intentional in refining and reworking my poetry and writing and submitting to various openings. I have developed quite a system of planning and organising and my skin has thickened in relation to the inevitable rejections. I have reframed this process, and consider poems which have been submitted to be in limbo and when they returned to me I call them “liberated” rather than rejected. They then receive some pampering and TLC (also known as editing) in preparation for the next appropriate call. This has resulted in being able to submit frequently and that has increased the chances of some poems finding homes. And the year has been a really warming one with a number of poems now in a place in the world. And this has guided me in thinking of this year’s words, more of that very shortly.

My second word was horizon, and alongside the intentional tone to my days, I found that keeping an eye on the horizonmeant that I was in the mindset to stretch and improve, and to seek out new opportunities and grasp them when they appeared. A January write-in evolved into a weekly session, the opportunity to return to Galloway for another poetry retreat and the establishment of a new initiative run by a collaboration of poets located near Scotland’s north eastern coast brought many opportunities to stretch and grow. My geographical horizons have changed since Covid for various reasons but I enjoy adjusting my sights into the distance and while the horizons might not be quite as distant, they are still new to me. I travelled to the Isle of Skye with a friend in the late spring, and in the summer set off with grandmother’s suitcase and my bus pass to the Isle of Mull for an adventure. These are areas I had never visited, having always spent time with my father on Lismore when he was alive. And there are so many horizons to explore right on my doorstep.

My third word was constellation, and was a constant reminder of our tiny individual place in the world and the importance of the collective. In this troubled world, I have found it vital to stand alongside others against the wrongs and seek out like minds who also care about the world and all in it. From tiny actions in my own world, I have made continued efforts to be part of collaborations and collaborative working. As I wrote a year ago “each one of us has the responsibility and potential to make sure that we make a difference in our own world and we can’t do this in isolation. We are all part of a constellation, and that is such a privilege”. This year I have made an effort to keep this lens on my actions and thoughts.

That is the briefest of reviews of the year behind us and the words which have accompanied me and again it is time to look ahead.

I love the way that the words settle beside me and nudge me frequently throughout the year. I have also found that potential words also have their own way of communicating with me. And the very first word was gifted to me some months ago and has been resolute in its setting its place for the coming year. The three words for 2026 which have formed into my guiding mantra are:

Sandlark, Honour and Curate.

Sandlark

Back in June, I was in one of our morning workshops at the Galloway poetry retreat. We were reading round what we had written to the morning’s prompts and work of the poet we were looking at that day. One of the participants had the word “sandlarking” in her poem, a word many of us were not actually familiar with. She explained that this is the term for searching seashores and beaches for interesting or possibly valuable items in the way that mudlarking describes the search along river banks for interesting, old, or valuable items like coins, beads, pottery shards, and other historical objects washed up by the water. Sandlarking is similar to beachcombing which is something I cannot resist when wandering along a beach. My pockets are full of unusual pebbles, shells and the occasional fragment of seaglass. This word immediately spoke to me. As well as its very specific application to the seashore, I also felt that it has a much broader application. Sandlarking invites you to open your eyes and mind and see the tiny wonders under our noses. Alongside pebbles and shells in my pockets, I have notebooks brimming with ideas and observations, random thoughts, and the fragments of possible writings. I feel that adopting sandlark as my first word ensures that my mind and heart are open and my curiosity always ready for new thoughts and ideas. I also found out that the sandlark is a small bird of the lark family found in the very parts of South Asia where I spent many years. It is found mainly on sandy islands along rivers and nearby fields as well as on coastal dunes and dry mud-flats. I have been holding sandlark close through the year, knowing it would very likely have a special place in my 2026 mantra.

Honour

For my second word I have had to search more deeply. I want to continue to manage my physical and emotional wellbeing as well as I can, particularly as I march through my sixties and beyond the age when my mother died. I try to be as active as possible but am hindered still by some of the cancer sides and afters. Late in 2024 I injured a rib at poetry group. Yes, a poetry injury. I dropped my pen and hurt my rib when picking it up. It eventually transpired that the pain which followed was due to a fractured rib. It took a number of months and different scans to identify both the fracture and the cause, particularly because there was not a trauma to cause the fracture. It turns out that the years on Tamixofen and Letrozole have caused osteoporosis so I have another condition to manage, particularly in relation to care with my diet. This has to be juggled with diabetic control and a sensitivity to some cow’s milk products which contradict each other. Furthermore, the peripheral neuropathy in my toes continues to make me clumsy and this year I have fallen a couple of times. Plenty of opportunity for fractures, but fortunately this year’s tumbles have not caused the damage that the poetry injury did!

So I want to keep on top of the variety of health issues and be proactive. I struggled to find the right word which spoke to the importance of prioritising and managing wellbeing, being attentive to my health, playing with words like pamper(too indulgent), nurture (too narrow in meaning, invest (just not right), flourish (the result rather than the action)… and this resulted in many many words, but none of them being right.

Image

It was when I was reading before I went to sleep that my eyes picked up the word honour. And that was it, I immediately knew I had found the right word. Honour speaks of respect to myself, and to others, and especially to my wellbeing. It speaks of being true and authentic, and taking actions and decisions to prioritise my health. My weekly Qi Gong class is a commitment to honour my wellbeing and is an example of honour giving me permission to live the most healthy life I can. The perfect word to influence my lifestyle and ethical choices. 

Curate

My third word was far less hidden and came to me a good few weeks ago. I have spent a lot of time this year compiling and shaping small collections of poems to submit to various pamphlet and collections calls. This has made me very aware of the whole art of curation and opened my eyes to how all kinds of collections are brought together. We are probably most familiar with curating when it comes to art exhibitions and understand it as the process of carefully choosing, arranging and presenting a number of individual items to create an overall effect. The more I spend time writing, the more fragments and random poems and stories gather, to be strewn around my Scrivener cellar in need of proper curation. This will motivate and remind me to work on tidying and organising my bundle of writings particularly as I continue to refine how I shape groupings of pieces. But more than this, I think it applies to life. I love the idea of curating my time so that I spend it wisely. I am keen to curate the physical space where I write, and shape a space which is motivational and encourages creativity as well as being a vantage point to watch the birds on the feeder. I think it even applies (and I am being practical, not morbid here) to looking into the Swedish practice of “döstädning”, a kind of end of life decluttering. I am keen to look carefully through the bits and pieces I have gathered along my journey which I cannot bear to be parted with, but which are perhaps not in their best space and curate them properly so that I can enjoy them now and ensure that they are not a burden in the future. After all, I can’t take everything to Binning Wood!

I am especially keen to curate my online presence, the silence here on the blog and number of social media platforms mean that it is important to refine how and where I share my words. I also have a number of poems which have homes in various places online and in print, and I am eager to curate a space to bring them together. Maybe that will be my first curating task.

Every year I am nervous that the three word mantra will not come together, or the right words won’t quite gel so when the third word lands I am always relieved. Sometimes they settle in fairly good time, sometimes I am kept waiting longer than is comfortable. As ever, I am quite surprised at just how delighted I am with the three individual words, but also how they interact. And I realise that this process in itself is one of curating the right three word mantra for the year.

The day is now late, and I am eager to set my three words into the world and with gratitude set last year’s words – orchestration, horizon and constellation aside.

Welcome to:

Sandlark, honour and curate.

Happy New Year to those whose year begins today, and wishes to each and every one for a peaceful, just and healthy world for all.

Image
Unknown's avatar

Casting light on the year ahead, a three word mantra for 2025

by

The first day of 2025 has dawned, but only the clock tells me so. Outside the cloud cover and rain are so dense that even at midday I sit obstinately in an almost twilight gloom rather than give in to switching the lights on. Just as well I have the practice of my three word mantra to shine some light on the way ahead. 

Image

The past weeks have seen me reflect on 2024, on the three words which have accompanied me and thoughts of how I want to shape 2025. I have three shiny new words waiting to take over and guide and motivate me, but first a few brief reflections on the retiring mantra “Contrive, Preserve and Glow”. I aim to write a more detailed reflection on 2024 in the coming days, so these are initial reflections.

Contrive 

I stepped into 2024, the second year of unfurlment or soft retirement, with the intent of being proactive and in control in shaping my life, especially my time and space. I was reminded throughout the year to be intentional and balanced and this helped me to focus on my creative goals, health and wellbeing alongside the right level of work-related assignments to take care of the costs of living. In particular, contrive pushed me to be proactive about writing and submitting my work. I attended a number of writing groups and workshops online and in person, including a wonderful poetry retreat in Galloway in May and a month-long poetry course online in August/September. This meant that I have been creating new work as well as learning more about the fine art of fine tuning and editing my pieces but even more precious has been connecting with like minded souls. Friendships and support networks have formed and I have been fortunate to get to know many new talented and generous spirited poetry friends. On the practical side, I have developed a few helpful tools – a submission calendar, a detailed log of poems submitted (in submission limbo as I call it) and those which are returned home to me, which I try to view as liberations rather than rejections. And a very small log of those which found homes … and that was where the second word came in.

Preserve

Connected with contrive was my effort to preserve my work and at the start of the year I joined the intriguingly named “Spiny Cult” which is a community of poets brought together by the nourishing and innovative Hedgehog Poetry Press. This brings submission opportunities as well as monthly poetry challenges which indeed challenge with some really innovating writing prompts. With my submission calendar, growing connections with online and in person writing communities, I increased the number of submissions considerably towards this aim and hope to “preserve” some of my writing. And this is where I need another post to share progress in more detail. In summary though, the year started encouragingly with longlistings and a precious shortlisting of pamphlets submitted, which allowed me to daydream until results were announced, inclusion of three poems in a “Poetry in Protest” exhibition, acceptance and publication of poems in three print anthologies, one electronic anthology and an online journal. The year came to a close with another poem being selected as a finalist in a writing competition which included reading it at the online award ceremony and at Edinburgh’s Push the Boat Out Poetry Festival. 

Image
Reading my shortlisted poem at Push the Boat Out Poetry Festival

I will detail and share the poems which were accepted, but these are the headlines for now. I should say that I am quite delighted with these pieces finding homes and being preserved, but would need to be realistic – this was amidst a yearlong slog of submissions, welcoming home liberated poems, refining and re-submitting. At one point there 64 poems out in submission limbo and as I move into 2025, 45 poems are out in various places for deliberation and consideration for potential homes. But this is progress, and a few poems now have homes in the world.

Glow

My final word was glow and spoke to general wellbeing and contentment as well as being intentional about my health. Continued slowing of work commitments has enabled me to embed a healthy balance and this has undoubtedly contributed to a contented and relaxed lifestyle. I have continued to prioritise health, and in addition to the dental plan and the fear I faced up to, I have indeed taken care of eyes and am also seeing a physio to try and address the longstanding pain which has bugged me for way too long. I have also (with the crutch of daily blood sugar monitoring) finally managed to bring my diabetic levels way down to a “well managed” level – which I must maintain. So while I am not the picture of health, and I still don’t enjoy adulting and having to deal with stresses like misbehaving central heating boiler and jammed back door lock, I am in a good place in my wellbeing and work life balance. I still feel that I am an outlier in making the decision to step away from the hamster wheel of work, but living a frugal and fairly non-materialist lifestyle finally makes this possible. I know I am lucky. A different type of glow meant that one of the wishes in my “wish bucket” was unexpectedly granted not once but twice. All of my life I have longed to see the Northern Lights, or Aurora Borealis and this year I was treated to an incredible display in May, and then again in October – from my garden!

That is the briefest of reviews of the three words and a snapshot of some of the ways that they have guided a year which has seen my stepping out of comfort zones, spending time further afield than I have for many years and reconnecting with special folks. Time to look ahead.

The past weeks have seen me gathering and collecting possible words for 2025, words which align with how I would like to shape the year. And as always, there have been many words and ideas, and my notebook has captured these as has my mind.

Image

Words have spoken to me while reading while thinking and sometimes from nowhere. But finally, they have settled into their places for this year’s mantra:

Orchestration, Horizon and Constellation

Orchestration

This is a wonderfully versatile and motivating word. I love the many meanings it has, and how it moves me on from contrive. In secondary school I had violin lessons, and was eventually invited to join the school orchestra. I was not a gifted player and so this was a Big Achievement. I was given a slip of paper with two lines of music on it and instructed to turn up for orchestra practice and to be ready to play at assembly that week. The music was for the hymn to be played at assembly. I was delighted and eagerly took out my violin to practise the short piece. However when I played it, the tune was unrecognisable and I could not understand how this was the hymn I thought I was familiar with. When I turned up at orchestra practice, I was a tiny piece in the whole ensemble and was hidden with at the back of the second violins. When the orchestra started playing, magically the melody which sounded was that of the hymn I knew. That was the first time I realised the complexity of all the different harmonies and pieces that the various instruments played and how each combined ingeniously to create a rich, harmonious piece of music. Orchestration captures the sense of careful thought, planning, creativity and the highest level of collaboration – by putting pieces together a wonderful creation comes to life and this has influenced my choice of  orchestration. I feel that it not only motivates me to be intentional, but also reflects the joy of creation, and surprise of what can be achieved when working collaboratively. And it also reminds me that there is a world of music and I don’t spend enough time with music as a back or foreground. 

Horizon

My second word is horizon, and eluded me for quite a while. I was seeking a word which would encourage me to stretch and reach to improve and not to become complacent and lethargic. I can spend hours gazing towards a horizon, whether it is the currently snow-covered hills I can see from my window, or the smudged line where sea meets sky not so far from me at the coast or a view completely new to me. The sun setting on the horizon always warms my heart, remind me that while the sun moves on at the end of one day, it will rise on the opposite horizon the next morning. I am reassured and filled with trust in nature. I want to be reminded that while the world sees tension and injustice, hope exists in each new tomorrow and horizon. Horizon also encourages me to reach towards improvement and development, particularly in my writing. I am joining a 30 day write-in for the month of January, which will see a short online session with prompts and writing time at the very start of the day. That will be a particular stretch for me as 7.30 am is long before my usual time to surface. Horizon also gives me the sense of trying new things, building on my small adventures this year and venturing further, health permitting and being open to new opportunities. This is a precious time of life when I have time and fewer responsibilities but not yet constrained by serious health and ageing challenges. 

Constellation

My third word, was the first to find me this time. I love stargazing and am fascinated by day and night skies. The word constellation is formed from the prefix ‘con’ which means with or together and ‘stella’ meaning star or of the stars. A constellation is a grouping or gathering of the stars and as humans we tend to give meaning to the groupings that we can see. The naming of constellations has been influenced and dominated by which peoples and cultures hold power and influence at that time, and vary across the world. I am especially drawn by the idea, similarly to orchestration, or connectedness and collaboration which I feel is articulated in the idea of a constellation. The idea of the universe is overwhelming, it is impossible to comprehend the concept of infinity and the fact that on level our world is vast to our own eyes and we are individually insignificant. Yet in our own galaxy, let alone the universe, our planet is beyond tiny and insignificant. The universe is made up of gatherings of stars and planets (in my most basic of understandings) and somehow operates in its own sophisticated way. I have selected constellation because it contains awe and mystery, and reminds me of the importance of being humbled and amazed and of our own insignificance in the bigger scheme of things. However, each one of us has the responsibility and potential to make sure that we make a difference in our own and the wider world and we can’t do this in isolation. We are all part of a constellation, and that is such a privilege.

The sun has now set on the first day of 2025 in my world and surprisingly the clouds appear to have cleared enough to allow a few of the larger, brighter stars to shine. It is time to share my 2025 three word mantra, and to let my words guide, motivate and inspire me in the months ahead.

Happy New Year to those whose year begins today, and wishes to each and every one for a peaceful, just and healthy world for all.

Image

Unknown's avatar

Seasons

by

It’s that time of year, again. The autumn equinox is behind us, as is the summer which never quite materialised. And already the days are shortening rapidly, the transition from British Summer Time (BST) back to standard Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) is now on the horizon and over the past few days temperatures have dropped significantly. The Scottish winter is approaching, a time of year which I find hard as the hours of daylight are short and while crisp, sunny days are glorious, more often the weather outside is not enticing.

Image

As we step into October I enter another “season”. Milestone season. A few days ago I quietly reflected on the 15 year anniversary of finding the lump which was to take me into unexpected territory. And the original reason for this blog to come into existence. A few days ago, I quietly and inwardly marked my 15th “Cancerversary”. Fifteen whole years since I heard those life-changing words. And as I reflect back to those days in 2009, while it is clear that cancer is not as large as it was then, it still has a footprint. Pain levels this week have been troublesome again, and although the precise cause has not been identified, many (worrying) possibilities have been ruled out and it seems that Twang Arm and its long term impact could well be at the root of the periodic pain. Hmmmmph. As well as the physical, the psychological continues to niggle too. I had my regular mammogram last week, and once the imaging was complete, the radiographer bade me farewell saying “that’s you for today”. Which immediately alerted my anxiety radar, wondering if she has seen a reason for me to be back another day. Possibly, probably heightened scanxiety, possibly a sign that all was not quite right. In any event, all will become clear in the coming weeks, but for now a reminder that healing is complex and takes much longer than we would want or expect.

But it is also another season, one which for me dates back to the time of the original diagnosis, but has stayed with me over the past years and been a grounding and motivating force in all areas of my life. And that is the season of three word reflection. As the days shorten, the temperatures drop and the leaves turn and fall from the trees, it is the time of year when I sit with my three word mantra for the year. We have travelled through 2024 together – my three words have guided and reminded me of how I want to shape the year. As I reflect on the months behind us, I also start to think of the year ahead and what will matter. I collect words which might capture the essence of these hopes and intentions, as the next three word mantra starts to take shape.

In the coming weeks, I will gather my thoughts on my words for this year, yet already I know that they have guided and encouraged me and “Contrive, preserve and glow” whisper 2024 to me.

Image

And winter somehow feels more welcoming.

Unknown's avatar

The sun rises on 2024, with three new words.

by
Image

The sun rises on another day, the first day of 2024. It is hard work for the sun, rising on a midwinter day in the northern hemisphere. In this part of Scotland the sky is still dark when my body wakes naturally and if the sky is not overcast, golden light spills in through the windows as the sun approaches the horizon.

Image

Silhouette shadows of plants dance on the walls as the sun creeps up and moves slowly across the lower sky.

Image

Every day brings promise and curiosity about what it will bring. Just like the start of a new year. And I broach each new year with curiosity and optimism. Along with my hopes and intentions for the coming months. I bring my new three word mantra into the New Year to remind me of those hopes and intentions and to guide and inspire me to realise them.

For the past weeks I have been savouring my process of reflecting on the past months, thinking about the coming year and seeking the perfect words to capture those intentions. This past few weeks however, have had a mist thrown over them in the form of my second bout of covid. It has left me with a heavy fatigue and a mind that is foggy and slow. Seeking words has been a sludgy process. But as ever, the words themselves seem to play an important part of the magic. I have been holding on to a few precious words, trying them individually, sitting them together to see if they fit. They need to stand on their own communicating their particular intention, as well as being teammates which bring a synergy to the flavour of the coming year. I have been trying on three words for the past few days, but they seemed to jar a little together when placed side by side, a little like a jigsaw piece which looks fine but sits a little awkwardly. Distracted, I turned to my book yesterday morning and one of the first words I read called out to me from the page. I hadn’t found the right word, the right word had found me and slipped comfortably into the place of the word which didn’t quite fit. The jigsaw piece was a perfect fit, the mantra sighed and settled, and so did I, with my three words for 2024:

Contrive, preserve and glow

Contrive

In the coming year it is important that I use this precious time of unfurlment, or soft retirement, wisely. I have been drawing in a number of threads as I settle into this time of my life and I find that these threads have woven into a tapestry which is somewhat ragged and messy at the edges. I want to simplify and disentangle the edges and be able to focus on the main picture. Life is too short to be caught up in distracting details. The word which will guide me in this is “contrive”. This builds on ‘sculpt from last year. Contrive holds a number of nuances, and in particular I like the suggestion from contrive to be in control and proactive in shaping my space and life. This will remind me to be more intentional. I want to ensure that my time is balanced around those essential tasks which need to be done, adulting and the like, life admin and taking care of my responsibilities but also ensuring that I am spending enough time on the things which I enjoy and which are the whole reason for stepping into soft retirement. The lockdown years stalled many plans to shape my physical space and I want to pick up those ideas again. I want to contrive and create spaces which I enjoy to be in. I need to organise shelving for books, storage space for lifetime treasures and declutter some of the keepsakes and papers which amass. I have been simplifying the garden and I now want to shape that into the space I want it to be, where I am drawn to spend time. Contrive will remind and guide me to declutter and simplify my life and design that space as I want. The greater part of this focus is around my home, in recognition of the health limitations which recent years have brought. The past year saw continued health issues bring limitations and along with a change in perspective following the pandemic and an acute awareness of climate emergency, I am no longer drawn by the level of travel which used to be a major part of my life. My focus is more local now, and in the spirit of “contriving” to shape my time, I have already booked a poetry retreat in Scotland in 2024. This will be the most significant travel I will have undertaken since before the pandemic, such a contrast to life and work overseas. Grandmother’s suitcase probably believes she has been retired for good. Contrive will encourage me to carpe the diem in a way which is true to the much gentler life that I am now living. One where frugality and thrift are wise and fitting for the world we live in and for my own space in it.

Preserve

My second word is “preserve”. This word came to be first, and very early in the process. Again it builds on an idea from one of last year’s words. This takes forward  the focus to “harvest” last year. I have made some encouraging progress, consolidating the snippets of writing and swathes of ramblings and I have been refining that into a more structured state. I have been working particularly on my poetry, and find that with all the pieces written over the years and more recently I have a lot of material. I have been shaping that into what I hope will be some smaller pamphlet collections and (in my dreams) a larger collection. I have continued to engage in poetry and writing groups and sessions through the year and feel that I am learning and developing. I was delighted to be asked to share my poetry in the local library one evening talking through my journey both geographically and in writing, covering countries and experiences in many words. I have also been submitting work and had another couple of pieces included in an anthology, a few words in a collective poem to world leaders and performed a poem in an event at Edinburgh’s Push the Boat Out Poetry Festival. A real highlight was being longlisted in a poetry pamphlet competition. Not shortlisted, and nowhere near winning, but the longlisting gave me the valuable validation that there is something taking shape and that I need to keep working on it. What I would love to see would be for that to come to fruition in the future, and for my work to be preserved in a physical format, something that will outlast me. I have also been harvesting my photographs and similarly am thinking of putting together some collections, possibly into photo books but there are so many to choose from. That is a major task, but one which preserve will encourage and remind me to spend time on.

Glow 

My final word is “glow”. I chose this because it will encourage me to thrive, to live my best life and manage limitations rather than feel constrained by them. I won’t be running marathons or climbing mountains but I want to feel as healthy and thrive asfar I can. To see my limitations as something to work around rather than feel regretful or frustrated. Glow can’t change health realities, but it can remind me to be on top of managing my health and wellbeing. The past year has been a challenging one health-wise. I am a terrible worrier, and had been struggling with symptoms which were likely side effects of medications that I was on. Medication changes were slow to bring an improvement and I had to face up to investigations and tests to seek clarification. I also pursued a mental health journey to address unresolved issues from the recent and not so recent past. These have not be easy to work through, but the physical tests have eliminated sinister issues and while there is not a clear answer or diagnosis I have reassurance. The mental health process has brough peace and a level of acceptance of things which cannot be resolved or changed but which can now be rested. In the spirit of facing up to demons, I tackled one of my biggest fears this year. All because of an apple from the tree in my garden. A bite of this sweet fruit triggered a wildly sensitive area of tooth. After years of avoiding dentists following some awful childhood (and adulthood) experiences, I walked into a dentist, sat in the chair and have had that and another tooth treated. This was not in the plan, and I did not honestly think I would ever be able to go to a dentist. Now I have a Dental Plan which includes regular checks, hygienist appointments and a discount on treatments needed. My next plan is to find an optician and check my eyes and replace my glasses if needed. All of this work on my health and wellbeing puts me in a good place to thrive and glow in 2024, not assuming I will be in perfect health, but in the right frame of mind to manage whatever constraints I face.

Glow mirrors and complements the other two words, as it also encourages me to  strengthen the gentle contentment I have found with my life choices. It will encourage me to be active, prioritise my health and with my surroundings contrived to be pleasant spaces, I can enjoy being present in my home and garden. This also encourages me to enjoy opportunities which come my way, and to continue involvement in the writing groups, poetry workshops, Qi Gong sessions and other activities which I enjoy.

This is my 15th three word mantra, and as ever, as soon as the words settled, I knew they were right. I am ready to rest my 2023 words, “harvest, sculpt and flutter” and pick up my new mantra, perfect for 2024.

This mantra will be especially important as the year will see a particular milestone, one which has been in my mind for many years. I will reach my 65th birthday in the summer. One which I did not expect to see when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, and for which I am incredibly thankful. This birthday is also filled with emotion however, as my mother died on her 65th birthday, 26 years before I reach the same milestone, a shadow which has sat beside me for all these years. I will be leaning heavily on my three words this year to support me and bring me strength as I approach such a loaded date. All the more reason to seize every day, and to “contrive, preserve and glow” throughout 2024.

May 2024 be kindly, and bring health, happiness and peace across our world.

Image
The sun approaching the horizon on the first day of 2024
Unknown's avatar

Seasonal Reflections

by

Once we arrive in autumn in the journey towards winter in Scotland, we are surrounded by change in the landscapes around us. We are been mesmerised by a fiesta of colours as trees and foliage transformed from fifty shades of green to  every possible colour through the leaf rainbow towards soft brown. We have seen all shades of red, orange, yellow, russet in a constantly changing kaleidoscope of autumnal colour all around us. 

Image

The trees rapidly shed their colours and glorious branch sculptures emerge, spectacular especially when silhouetted against a stark wintery sky. Since returning to Scotland six years ago where the seasons have different characteristics, I have found this process humbling and it continues to take me by surprise.

Image

A number of weeks have already passed since we shed Summer Time in the UK, and returned to standard GMT (Greenwich Mean Time). This shunted sunset abruptly by an hour and in Scotland we suddenly lost daylight well before the end of the regular working day. The days continued to shorten rapidly, by around 2 minutes in the morning and another 2 -3 in the afternoon. Soon by mid afternoon the light and colour starts to bleed from the sky and the sun sinks earlier each day, eventually slowing to a sunset well before 4 pm, though the onset of evening is felt often by 2 pm, especially on a day when cloud cover is thick. There are days when the light is reluctantly switched on long before the low sun actually sets.

It is at this time of year that my thoughts focus on my three word mantra. It has accompanied me all year long, walking quietly by my side, encouraging me and reminding me of the tone  and focus I had wanted to set for this year. It is at this time of year that I reflect on how each of the three words has guided me as I prepare to move towards a new year, and a new set of three words.

My three word mantra for 2023 speaks to me of my first full year in this middle land of “soft retirement”. Not quite full retirement, but a pause from the merry go round of formal work and the increased space to spend time truly unfurling – prioritising time to write, explore creative outlets , writing, rebuilding my strength and health, and venture out on gentle explorations around me. 

My first word of 2023 has been “harvest”. This recognised that over my lifetime I have a gathered a hoard of treasures. In addition to the physical collection of tiny and not so tiny mementoes of a life in many different places, each with their own memories and significance, there is a wealth of less physical items. I have so many memories, stories and experiences to relate, thousands of photographs, and so many words! Words in half written and fully written stories, poems, and fragments of bigger works such as the memoir. A clear intent behind “harvest” has been to gather these together and shape them into something more manageable and meaningful. And this has galvanised me into refining, organising and shaping my writing in particular. The year has seen encouraging progress in putting together poetry into a broader collection and even resulted in a longlisting for a poetry pamphlet, an evening in the local library sharing my poetry with a warm audience and other steps forward in the writing journey. There is still a long way to go, but the processing of harvesting has undoubtedly guided and encouraged me on the path.

My second word has been “sculpt”. It holds precious association as my mother discovered her talent for sculpture late in life and in her final years was able to develop that creative outlet. It is an important reminder that finding and pursuing that passion requires a balance in shaping our days. “Sculpt” has both validated my recent decisions to prioritise my creative activities as well as pushing me to be intentional and deliberate in how I shape my time. I have been proactive in connecting with the many opportunities, activities and communities which exist. This has resulted in days and weeks which are pleasantly busy and a diary which requires a bit of juggling. But how wonderful to be juggling diary commitments such as writing groups, poetry sessions, Qi Gong classes and the like. If I sit back and don’t sculpt my days, they disappear with a sense of regret. Of course, I do enjoy being able to take my days gently but having some shape is not only motivating but has also produced results from my harvesting.

My third word has been “flutter” and it complements the other two. While sculpting has planning and shaping integral to its purpose, “flutter” gives the permission to wander off when a new idea or opportunity flitters across my vision. I love spontaneity, and I perhaps relish in distraction a bit too much. However, giving myself permission to allow some fluttering when my attention is caught by a surprise, means that I am more intentional overall and have space for flutterings. And in the more literal sense, I still have a fascination for butterflies and their incredible innate magical transformations and migratory patterns. I am constantly astounded that a butterfly will migrate across continents and generations to settle in a place where that little butterfly has never been. How amazing that fluttering can open up unexpected journeys and possibilities.

Image
A waxing crescent moon reminds us of our place in the universe.

The days march rapidly forward, and as I emerge from an unwelcome visitation from Covid, I find that I have lost precious weeks at this time of year. We now have just three more sunsets until we reach the winter solstice, when the sun will reach its furthest point from the north and begin its journey back towards us. Knowing that the days will lengthen and that a new year will soon begin breathes renewed energy to the search for the perfect three words to guide me through 2024.

Unknown's avatar

Outing

by

Things have been quiet on the blog. And the is largely a reflection of the quiet that is life these days. In some senses.

I wouldn’t say that means that life is not full, but busy in a still kind of way. These past months have been a time of unfurling and leaning in to the realities of a world skewed by covid over the past months as well as adjusting to constraints of health matters and breathing in the gentleness of such a life. One which is mostly sculpted by matters which inspire and interest me rather than those timetabled. Ah yes, a life in soft retirement has so far been mostly kindly and tranquil.

Only a year ago, I was living a very limited existence as Covid continued to circulate, mutate and play on fears. Vaccination, being caught by the virus myself despite the limited interactions and outings and the evolution of treatments and knowledge have changed the atmosphere. While I am still relatively cautious, I have been able to venture out more frequently, further afield and to a far less limited type of activity. I still avoid crowds but no longer shun any inside venue or activity.

This is an enormous shift compared with 3 years ago. But alongside this, have been continued health concerns and limitations. these had not been so evident during the pandemic, but ironically, with greater freedom comes the realisation that these health constraints have been increasingly more difficult to manage. Side effects of medication for diabetes have played havoc with my digestive system and unpredictable episodes of pain have made simple planning very difficult. Holidays, outings and general involvement in activities which once I would do without a second thought have become much more complex. Unsure whether medication side effects are at the root of these symptoms has meant trying out different options to and as these symptoms continue, questions about whether there are other underlying nasties have to be explored. I don’t need to spell out the Big Worry that has been on my mind. And with some symptoms raising some red tinted flags, I have been on a path over the past weeks to find out what is causing the problems. So far no answers, but the major nasties are being ruled out and scans have been reassuring. That path continues, but it does mean that I am gently able to venture a little more adventurously and further afield.

And that is what this post is about – not the health situation itself, that is just the backstory to why there is a story. The story is the outing. An overnight outing. This is a major step in well over three years, and one which deserves to be highlighted here.

My outing was a two night stay near Loch Lomond, in the west of Scotland. Less than 2 hours from home, but a very different landscape.

Image

In line with my life in general, this was a gentle outing. Pleasant evenings, picnic lunches, local exploring and early nights. Taking time to breathe in tiny wonders, such as watching hungry ducklings diving for food, their little webbed feet waving in the air while they scoured the water for tasty morsels.

Image
Image

And a glorious boat trip on the Loch. The sun came out here and there, the breeze was lively and while there were moments of discomfort, I was mostly well throughout the break.

Image
Image
Passing an osprey nesting, the little one visible to the naked eye but not the camera.
Image
The picturesque village of Luss, well known as “Glendarroch” of “Take the High Road” fame

A change of scene is good for the soul. This was truly a pleasant and welcome outing after such a long period of containment.

Unknown's avatar

Opening the door into 2023, with three little words.

by

In Scotland, the stroke of midnight heralding the New Year is known as “the bells” and it takes us from Hogmanay (New Year’s Eve) in the past forward in to the New Year. In Scotland the bells have now rung, and we have stepped into the New Year, 2023.

I hug my 2022 words close as I lay them aside, thankful for their company and guidance. They have helped me navigate an eventful yet ordinary year. Again, the year has thrown surprises amidst careful plans and my words have kept me on track.

2022 Reflections

This time last year, I was reflecting on more than the previous months and was aware of a growing sense that I wanted to slow down and spend more time on the things I enjoyed. That was captured in my first word, “unfurl”. I was exploring that balance between “living to work” and “working to live” and wondering  how to feel in control of my time. While I am not quite old enough to receive the state pension, I was increasingly aware that health has been challenging and  I am being realistic, not morbid to acknowledge that I am only a number of months away from the age that my mother died. These are precious years, and I want to enjoy them. A year ago I wrote:

“I am increasingly reminded that I do not want to spend my golden years working flat out. Moving to part time working has affirmed that, and whet my appetite for slowing down even more. My mother died on her 65th birthday and as I approach that age, I want to step off the speeding roundabout and enjoy the benefit of having worked for the past 40 years, rather than work up to my last email breath.”

Over the end of year break and with the benefit of time to think, I reached a major decision. I would truly unfurl by stepping back from the stability and security of employment. 

This connected with closely with my second word “forage” as I had to be realistic. I would need to find assignments and small pieces of work which would pay the bills and provide the necessities. Having refined life quite considerably intentionally as well as reactively from the pandemic and health issues, as well as having moved to part time work, this was not as scary as it might have been just a few years ago. I knew I could “forage” for work and draw on the resources I have to live. And I have been extremely fortunate that things have found me, as well as me finding them and I am content in a modest lifestyle. 

Which confirms that I “savour” what I have, my third word reminding me to appreciate and value my life and everything I am fortunate enough to hold close. 

Again, my mantra has guided me through the year and 2022, the year where Covid played a less prominent but not insignificant role, is characterised by those words “unfurl, forage and savour.”

Embracing 2023

This is now the 14th year that I have chosen three words for the coming year. Every year is a little different. Sometimes the words land quickly and easily. Sometimes they take longer and throw up more options. But every year, they settle and once my mantra is in place, I feel my shoulders relax and I am comforted to adopt the new words. This year, the words settled fairly quickly and I have been trying them on, ready to wrap around me as 2023 begins.

Harvest

The first word arrived very quickly and easily. I am a hoarder in that I gather and treasure little things that have meaning. I was struck during a recent writing group by mention of a “word hoard”, words which Seamus Heaney used and which chimed with a number of us. 14 years of 3 word mantras has provided me with a very rich word hoard. In addition to that though, I have a treasury of precious bits and pieces. But by that, I don’t mean valuables. I am surrounded by little “treasures”.  A Prague bus ticket, a bookmark from a little bookshop in Cambodia, a little water colour I found in a tiny shop in Zanzibar, a set of tea light holders from Morocco, a notebook from a women’s project in Nepal, an eternal desk calendar from Borneo, a lacquerware box gifted to me by a friend in Myanmar … These are treasure in that each one holds memories and sentiment which come rushing to me if I pick them up. They take me instantly to that place I was exploring and learning about and the people I connected with. That is the real treasure. I have a lifetime of memories, mega bytes and mega albums of photographs, snippets of half written poems and stories and I want to make the most of these. My first word will guide me, as I plan to “harvest” this rich hoard and shape it into something which I can share. 

Sculpt

That connects with my second word. In order to shape my harvest of goodies, I need to be structured. In fact, I need to ensure that in a life of unfurlment, I need to have structure to make the most of time and energy. My second word is “sculpt” and that will prompt me to shape and structure my life and activities. I will be reminded to bring form to what I am doing, but this will allow me to be creative and incorporate new ideas and opportunities. My mother was an artist, mainly painting and sketching but later in her life, she began experimenting with clay. I am not sure of how things came about, but her work attracted the attention of the art department of Aberdeen University and they gave her a scholarship to attend for several weeks to develop her skills and learn techniques. She would produce batches of pottery pork pies as kitsch mementoes for Melton Mowbray, the town she lived in, renown for pork pies. She didn’t enjoy making them at all, but she called them her “bread and butter.”  In other words, they provided the income and means to enable her to sculpt the pieces she loved creating. Harvesting that memory now, 25 years after her death, I realise I am doing something very similar and the word “sculpt” holds that additional precious association. I trust it to help bring shape and meaning to the coming months, and hopefully bring to life some tangible results, particularly in the form of writing.

Flutter

My third word particularly complements “sculpt” by recognising how easily I am distracted by tiny wonders from the corner of my eye and new thoughts and ideas from the corners of my mind. I am like a butterfly and when I “flutter” from one thing to another, new ideas emerge and I find myself off another adventure. That spontaneity is important to me and while I do need structure, I must allow myself to follow those flitterings of notions and ideas and see where they take me. Butterflies fascinate me, and I write about them as well as while away happy moments watching their own flutterings. 

Image

And so my words have settled into their mantra, and I can hear them whispering encouragement as I step into the coming year. 

“Harvest, sculpt and flutter”

The sun struggles to rise at this time of year, but as we reach this New Year’s Day, I am comforted to know that the days are slowly gaining additional seconds of daylight. I know that January is a cold and dark month, and with festivities behind us is tough emotionally as well as physically. So I hold on to the knowledge that the days are moving in a direction towards spring.

And I walk towards those spring days with my words to guide me, and wish to each and every one, a happy, healthy and fulfilled 2023.

Unknown's avatar

It’s that time of year …

by

It’s that time of year, finally. The day in the northern hemisphere marked in our emotional calendars as the turning point towards longer, lighter days. The winter solstice is here, and while the day today is bright, the sun barely lifts above the rooftops before it dips and not long after lunchtime the light fades. Tonight sees the longest night and from tomorrow the days will start, slowly initially, and gradually pick up speed as they lengthen. It’s a dark time of year literally, and in other ways too, so the promise of lighter days ahead is important. We are emerging from an extremely cold spell and the temperatures have now risen above zero, for a few days at least. The deep freeze outside is finally thawing and the birds can land on water instead of ice outside my window.

Image

It’s that time of year when we have ten more days left of the year, and for the past weeks I have been reflecting as well as thinking ahead. At this time of year, I reflect back on the words I selected for my three word mantra and review how well they have guided me.

It’s that time of year when I am thinking of the right words to guide me through the coming year. I step back and think of priorities and areas which I need to focus on. I am surrounded by words, as I seek the perfect way to articulate what I aim for in the coming year. For the past weeks I have been jotting down words I see, or hear or read if they chime with my purpose. I have pages in my notebook alive with spider maps of words, synonyms, ideas and random thoughts as I shape the mantra for 2023. 

It’s that time of year when I have favourite words, sometimes a reasonably firm choice, sometimes a group of words which have not yet gelled into the mantra or are missing that final perfect word. This year I have three words which may (or may not) emerge as the final choice. 

Image
Tea, words and reflections – shaping the 2019 3 word mantra

It’s that time of year when I try my words on and wear them before I commit. They need to fit and be comfortable, and we need to trust each other. 

And it’s that time of year when I wrap myself in my current words, “unfurl, forage and savour” and appreciate how they have guided and supported me through the year before I place them gently to the side with the words of previous years which have walked alongside me.

Unknown's avatar

A time to pause and reflect

by

It’s that time of year again.

The leaves are changing colour and gently releasing hold of their branches.

The morning light softens progressively each day as the sun moves further and further south towards the solstice.

Berries and leaves fall on the ground creating a tactile, audible carpet underfoot.

The scent of approaching winter is just perceptible in the damp air.

Image

I hug my three words of 2022, comforted that they have guided and looked over me these past months.

And my mind gently explores a universe of words in its search for a perfect mantra for the coming year.

Unknown's avatar

Drawing in, breathing out.

by

Time and tide wait for no (hu)man indeed.

We are now at the autumnal equinox and the daylight is shrinking on a daily basis. Every morning two minutes are shaved from the daylight as the sun rises later, and a further two or three minutes from the end of the day. I am no mathematician but can easily see that this steals over half an hour of daylight in a week. In contrast to the spring equinox when the sun rushes to stretch the day, we feel the retreat of summer as we need to switch on lights progressively earlier. More layers are needed and the scent in the air brings a chill with the certainty of autumn and winter not far beyond. The light is softer, and lower in the sky, and the flowers start to retreat and withdraw.

Image

The wider world and my personal world have changed so much, and yet so little. Two and a half years have passed since I closed my door as Covid threatened to intrude. And while its threat has been reduced considerably, it still lingers. It even stepped over my own doorstep in the summer despite living a sheltered and cautious existence.

Guided as ever by my carefully selected three word mantra, I have made some big decisions. With the intention to unfurl, I have completely adjusted that work life balance by stepping aside from the regularity of work and seeking to forage more to provide for my essentials. The past years have shown that we can manage differently, and with health continuing to constrain I need to make the most of, nay savour, these Voldemort years. I am moulding days and weeks to allow for a balance which favours reading, writing, and spending time outdoors when the Scottish weather permits. And reflecting. I have a rich bank of memory and experience to enjoy. Can you live vicariously through the experiences of your younger self, I wonder.

The onset of autumn months and years is characterised by this milestone that is the equinox. And this falls on the first of my cancer landmark days. The day I discovered the lump back in 2009. So it feels as if there is a synchronicity in this shift in the seasons, the shortening of the days and the ever bittersweet anniversary of my introduction to a life refashioned by cancer.

By unfurling, slowing down and refocusing I am striving to take control of my own little world in this universe of unpredictability and turbulence. And while the sun rises later and sets earlier on its march towards the winter solstice, it continues to backlight the plants and trees as they continue in their seasonal cycle. It is up to me to remember to open my eyes and see those everyday wonders which thrive around me.