Another death.

A day in the hospital,
Another patient sits by the corner,
Another diagnosis,
Another day,
Another death.

A relative broken by world’s circumstance,
Another story that needs to be known,
Another lover,
Another lonesome,
Another death.

 A friend who lost another,
Another brother fends for his life,
Another grief,
Another family,
Another death.

A day on the streets,
Another stranger walks you by,
Another thought,
Another joint,
Another stick,
Another death.

A day at home,
Another view at my life,
Another plunge, Another cry,
Another take,
Another death.

Fear

Across the horizon, a plain field, barren. The skies a touch of blue, moving quickly to the darkness that heralds the night; foretelling. I took steps forward, with a heart unthinking, moving, ready to experience what laid before me. My steps crunched through the thick wind-combed vegetation, each stomp almost ominous; foretelling.

I took a single step, unthinking, moving. Darkness shrouded, surrounded. My heart plummeted, confused, led into disarray. Flanked by piercing uncertainties, my mind spiraled, contorting, twisting, rotating, till almost, divulging. Matter spewing, burning, erupting, controlling, dispersed. Discontent, darkness decides, it’s insufficient, it spears, distorts, finding only pleasure in the unease, chaos.

The mind, burdened, wounded, limped. Left skimped, shortened, broken.

Fear, when the edges are clear, identified, tackled, there is none.

...

The Death of the brain; Fibrosis

When the brain fails to reflect, loads of things happen, without your knowledge. Your world shrinks, people go by, hopeful interactions become meaningless. The death of the brain is here.

The process of getting there, however, is a different story in itself. But if you asked me, I'd say, it can be summarized in one word. Fibrosis. Constant wear and tear, emotional roller coasters, love, hate, envy, jealousy, happiness, sadness...it all comes down to one thing. Firbosis. In a living person, when fibrosis occurs in the brain, functions are loss, and so it is with this cognitive process of the brain.

However, my thought for the day would be, would this process be irreversible in the cognitive process? Or would it be like it's real life analogy; irreversible.

The death of blogs...

It's been too long since i updated, and this seems to be a trend that i'll be treading along considering the ultra-packed schedule that I have device for myself; how foolish of myself.

Anyways, here's to the utter few that actually visit this dying blog... I hope i'll be able to update it a bit when i'm in canada with sights of the place. And the experiences in the far north.

So till the next post there...

Rants about work

So, it's been a good long time since i blogged. Think it's the lack of time and such. With pent-up work accumulating behind this large dam. I feel like some sort of plumber just plugging in the gaps that keep appearing- plugging but not addressing the issue- the dam is about to burst.

So what brings me here today? (As does all history takings start) The demoralizing practice scores and mediocre grades whilst studying for USMLE, the horrible school work that I haven't touched since forever and the incessant cacophony of biochemical enzymes floating in my head. The scorching horridness of torture seems sometimes, strangely pleasurable. I'm starting to think sometimes that I'm becoming a masochist of sorts, but i guess that's a wrong term to use for me, perhaps something more along the lines of being a workaholic seems to fit the description much better than masochist, but whatever, the workaholic has to bow down to the load one day...just wait...one fine day...

Then on the bright side of things, there's the posing for convocation photo, the upcoming ball at the back of my head, submitting profile for convocation magazine. Yes- it's here at last; Graduation (just) from IMU (at least that's a good thing right in the dense clouds of demonic aura), well just hoping now that i'll be able to scrap through the school exams so that at least, i'll be able to study for USMLE in peace (or somewhat peace, cos' we all know it's never peaceful studying for an exam like that). It's quite surreal really, the whole 2.5 years being here, passing so quickly...

That's all for now i guess, in the mean time, the agony of waiting for matching results haunts me.

Making Sense of Chaotic injustice- Living Human Lives.

Essay that i wrote for literature selectives...

Making Sense of Chaotic injustice- Living Human Lives.
Personal reflections from the play ‘Oedipus the King’

In today’s world, chaos and injustice seem to resonate strongly at every corner. With natural disasters raging from coast to coast to the endless rumours of wars and even to the spread of new diseases. Sadly, within all these calamities are precious human lives, people that are just passing through this earth. How do we make sense of suffering? How do we live lives that ensure our sanity? How do we come to terms with what God throws at us? All pertinent questions, that has to be overcome for us to lead normal lives.

In the play “Oedipus the King”, many issues have been brought up. But the issue that led me to be in a pensive mood for many days is the acts of the gods and the fairness of tragedies in our lives. In the play, Oedipus was a man who was supposed to have been killed shortly after his birth. However, he was sparred. Unfortunately, a generational curse brought him to murder his father and commit incest. This eventually led Oedipus to gorge out his eyes and isolate himself as a form of penance. Quite clearly, the author was trying to illustrate the interplay between free will and fate. But given the ending of the play, it is quite apparent that the author showed that there was no escape from fate or the hand of God. This led me to think, why does God allow us to undergo suffering.

Suffering on earth is viewed by many as the acts of gods, both in the past and present. Personally, I do believe in a God and the tragedies in life are nothing short of God allowing them to happen. Many make sense of this by reasoning that these trials and tribulations that we go through in life are for the betterment of our beings, and thus, have a sense of personal gratification when trials come their way. I would beg to differ from this viewpoint. Thinking trials and tribulations are for the betterment of our beings simply nudges one to think in a certain perspective, but does not avert the truth; tragedies do happen, and it is the work of God. Is there justice in a child being raped, a person born without parents, innocent people being killed or even at a personal level, reasons for us growing up in a certain way? There just is no way to make any sense in any of that. Some think that free will has paved the way for such suffering to be inflicted to man (Thus saying that man’s suffering is due to man’s problems). But this I feel is a highly contentious statement, as it does not explain tragedies that happen to the innocent. So what determines the fate of one? Quite clearly, God is the one; He controls suffering.

Will there ever be an answer to the seemingly injustice? Is there any way to quench the soul from such fiery discourse? Probably not, but as important as it is to reflect on our past, to learn from it, let us not dwell excessively on personal sufferings and trials that have come our way, but let us focus on the future that lies ahead. After all hope is that is what makes us humans. Perhaps a change in perspective is what is required in making sense of this chaotic unjust after all.