Some of you may have noticed that in my last post I mentioned in passing what the diagnosis had been following the analysis of my recently removed right kidney had been: as suspected it was a grade 3 renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer), measuring 73mm by 50mm,
I had my first post-op consultation with the Urology Team at Addenbrooke’s yesterday; they confirmed that diagnosis and also that they were satisfied the cancer had not spread anywhere else. However, there is a 10-15% chance that it may return, so I’m to go and have a scan at the six-month post operation point, and then….who knows.
Chumbawamba – Tubthumping (Album Version)
And just to act as a counter-balance for what is to follow, here’s a terrible cover version of that:
The Wurzels – Tubthumping
(NB: pre-operation, the surgeon advised me that as I would be down to one kidney, I had to take care of it, or risk being on a dialysis machine for the rest of my days. For the years leading up to his passing, I witnessed my Dad being hooked up to one such machine, saw how poor his quality of life was, despite my Mum’s tireless, valiant efforts, and have no desire to replicate it. Suffice it say, from hereon in, there will be considerably less consumption of whisky drinks, lager drinks, or, indeed, vodka drinks).
But for now, I’m cancer-free – Yey! – and incredibly grateful for the efforts of the medical teams who cared for me for the past few months.
Lucky, too.
It may seem odd for someone who had cancer to describe themselves as “lucky”, and it’s certainly not a word I would choose to describe my life generally. Yes, yes, I’m a white middle class male, part of the patriarchy (like it or not) but I’ve rarely felt the dice landed in my favour.
But at this point in time: lucky, on two fronts.
Firstly, that I’ve gone through this without having to endure the horrors of either radiotherapy or chemotherapy. Ok, I have no hair to lose from my head as a result of the treatment, but I’m very aware that those who have gone through it report the most unpleasant of side effects. I witnessed it first hand with Llŷr, who always denied finding the treatment difficult, but I could always detect a change in his demeanour afterwards, no matter how slight, no matter how brave a face he put on. I never challenged him on this, of course: whilst I wanted him to open up about it, if his way of dealing with it was to deny it was having an impact, who was I to try and break down that barrier?
I had a meeting with my employer’s Occupation Health consultant the other week, and I jokingly said that if I wasn’t to have radio or chemotherapy, then I almost felt cheated that I wasn’t going to get the whole cancer experience. A poor taste comment, probably, but finding some humour in the misery, some light in the dark is my coping method. That, and writing here.
Secondly, I was lucky they caught it when they did. To recap for newer readers: I was experiencing some of the symptoms associated with prostate cancer, so (eventually) I contacted my GP, who set the wheels in motion. That included a colonoscopy (in simplistic terms: a dildo-shaped camera up the jacksie), which found that a) I didn’t have prostate cancer, and b) caught right in the corner of one of the up-arse images, there was something amiss with my right kidney, which required further investigation, and which turned out to be cancer. So, yes: lucky that it got spotted at all, and at a stage where action could be taken without the need for radio or chemotherapy.
Currently, there is no national screening program in the UK for prostate cancer, unlike say, cervical or breast cancer (Boo hoo! Us poor, misunderstood men!).
Hear me out.
Men are notoriously rubbish at seeking medical advice. We’d much rather pretend nothing’s wrong, or that whatever symptoms we may have will magically disappear, or that the NHS service is so overwhelmed we don’t want to burden them further. All utter bollocks (apart from the NHS service being overwhelmed, that’s true enough – but they will find time for you). But we all know our own bodies, and know when something is wrong, so if you’re concerned about anything, seek medical assistance. Sod being embarrassed about the possibility of having to drop your trousers to be examined, which would you prefer? Which is worse: a medical professional catching sight of your cock and balls or having to go through much more gruelling treatment than you would have had, if whatever it is had been identified earlier? Or, worse, dying from something which could have been headed off at the pass.
My story is testament to this. Don’t ignore it.
*****
Of course, it’s not all good news. Those unfavourable dice have been rolled again.
When I was discharged from hospital, I spent a short while convalescing at my Mum’s home. I’m not going to lie, we clashed like we hadn’t done since I was a teenager. We’ve worked it out now, of course.
My buddy Richie got in touch, asking if he could come and visit me at my Mum’s house. Even better, I suggested, would he mind picking me up and taking me home? If that’s what we wanted, then he’d happily oblige.
Richie picked me up on the Friday before Christmas, the idea being I would then have a couple of days at home, to see how I coped, and we would discuss what the best way forward was when I met with my family again a few days later for Christmas. Richie and I stopped for a coffee on the way home (we try to meet for coffee at least once a month for a catch-up and a general, setting-the-world-to-right chat) and then he drove me home. As we drove along the street where I live, I scanned for a parking space as close to my house as possible. I spotted one, but it was outside a house with a For Sale sign on it. Weird, that can’t be mine.
Wait. That is my house. With a For Sale sign on it. What the actual fuck?
In the six weeks or so since I went into hospital, not a word from the letting agents that I rent my house through. Bear in mind that they knew I’d gone into hospital for surgery, knew I was convalescing at my Mum’s, but didn’t know when I would be returning to the property. And still, no heads-up, no “by the way, the landlord is looking at selling”, nothing: I’ve subsequently emailed them a couple of times about other issues, but didn’t mention the For Sale sign – as far as I was concerned it was for them to tell me, not for me to ask. They replied to the emails, but no mention of the house being sold.
Nothing. Estate agents, eh? Lovely people.
Until Friday, when I received, via email, an eviction notice. A further three copies were received in the post the following day (one of which, oddly, was not in an envelope). I have until April 4th to find somewhere new to live: I emailed them (twice) to ask how much notice I have to give if I want to move out before then: at the time of writing, no answer.
Dire Straits – It Never Rains
So, you’ll forgive me, I hope, if posts round here are even less frequent than usual, but I need to pack, clean, and find somewhere new to live.
There’ll be a Friday Night Music Club this week (all being well), and maybe one or two more of them that I have ready to go to fill the void, but other than that, I’ll be back once I have everything sorted and I’m set up in my new boudoir.
More soon (who knows when?)