Jedi Ginsu!

March 21, 2009

After our last post, we came across this Jedi-fied version of the Ginsu, and it rocks. The upping of the ante is, again, classic.

Also, keep an eye out for the bonus: Appendage Reattachment Cream! (It looks suspiciously like Benadryl—but that cream is pretty magical, so we’re not doubting.)

May the Force be with you (for only $29.99).


Ginsu: Upping the Ante

March 19, 2009

First aired in 1978, this infomercial for the Ginsu knife is a classic. The opening pitch involves karate chopping a tomato. And it gets better!

Yes, it’s a bit dated. The lighting is far from flattering, and the announcer’s voice sounds suspiciously like a narrator from one of Disney’s Tomorrowland rides in the early 1960s. Gigantic roasts are hardly fashionable these days; the amount of beef shown in a minute and a half might dwarf the amount purchased by an average, artery-conscious household in a year.

But the upping of the ante is the best we’ve ever seen. “But wait: there’s much, much more,” takes on a whole new meaning with these folks. Here’s the final tally:

  • Ginsu knife
  • Matching carving fork
  • A 6-in-1 kitchen tool (a peeler, as far as we can tell)
  • Six precision steak knives
  • Unique spiral slicer (to make the offer “completely irresistible,” says announcer man!)

The best part: it’s all guaranteed in writing for fifty years. That means that the Ginsus that housewives ordered back in 1978 are still under warranty. And they will remain that way for another decade. In uncertain times, this deal is a reassuring little piece of the American Dream. Really, is there anything that you can buy for ten bucks today with such a guarantee?


Ch-ch-ch Chia!

March 17, 2009

This Chia Pet infomercial contains—hands down—one of the catchiest jingles of all time.

We thought we’d go green for St. Patty’s Day, and what’s greener than “the pottery that grows?” The call to action may not be a phone number or website, but we’re gonna go ahead and count this one as Direct Response TV, just because the final pitch does involve visiting specific retail stores. It makes us utterly nostalgic for simpler times and simpler Christmas presents. Plus, the Chia spinoffs are examples of interbrand synergy at its best. Who wouldn’t want a Chia Scooby Doo, really?

And by the way: we know you’re going to thank us in five hours when the jingle’s still stuck in your head. You’re welcome.

*A big thanks to commenter “Melon” for recommending! Got any other infomercials you’d like to see? Post ’em in the comments, and we’ll take requests all week.


Snuggie: The Media Darling

March 15, 2009

Okay, we realize that the Snuggie has often been the subject of our posts. But we feel an obligation to relate mainstream media mentions of infomercial products, and “Funny Business” by Rob Walker in the March 10th NY Times Magazine caught our attention.

Accompanied by a photo of the Statue of Liberty wearing a superimposed red Snuggie, Walker’s piece tries to answer the all-too-common question about the Snuggie’s monumental ($60 million+) success: Why this item? And why now?

He mentions and dismisses the two most common theories:

  • “One theory is that the Snuggie has caught on because it’s comforting — as if, in these recessionary times, we have become a nation of Linuses.” A funny concept, surely, but “the cowering-at-home explanation is undercut” by the proliferation of the Snuggie Pub Crawl.
  • The second theory, of course, deals with the newly open daytime and primetime commercial slots: more people see the commercial, and more people buy the product. To this, Walker responds: “This factor is hard to dispute, but it cannot, by itself, explain why this specific bit of ‘As Seen on TV’ flotsam has attracted so much interest.” Exactly. It answers “Why now?” but not “Why this particular product?”

Walker gets to his point: it is the absurdity of the Snuggie and its ads that makes it so successful. We couldn’t agree more, and we love his phraseology so much that he gets a block quote (emphasis added by us):

Probably the crucial factor isn’t the frequency of Snuggie ads but rather their spectacular absurdity — the woman who finds it difficult to answer the phone if she’s under a blanket, the Snuggie-wearing family roasting marshmallows or attending a game, the disturbingly sedentary man with a remote control, a newspaper and a bowl of popcorn. The idea seems to be that if the product is goofy, it ought to be pitched in the most ridiculous manner imaginable. Don’t turn into camp; create camp. The upshot is something like the Pet Rock of the Depression 2.0 era.

If slumpy economic stretches have included silly fads before, this may be the first time it has happened in the era of the mainstream Web, where Snuggie advertising inspired an immediate wave of YouTube parodies and jokey Facebook groups. These propelled the product onto the radar of talk-show monologists and otherwise-serious news organizations, all of whom played the thing for laughs. “There is a bit of the ridiculous to it,” allows Scott Boilen, president of Allstar Products, which makes the Snuggie as well as Bendaroos and Strap Perfect (the Ultimate Bra Strap Solution!), among other things. “So that catches people’s attention.” But he also says that he doesn’t mind the laughter, since sales suggest the message is getting through anyway. (Indeed, while watching one particularly merciless parody, I was startled when YouTube served up a pop-over ad link for the actual Snuggie — a weird case of a brand sponsoring its own satirist.) And of course he maintains that there is in fact a real and nonjokey message: “If you think about it, why wouldn’t a blanket have sleeves?”

How meta is that? A Snuggie ad superimposed over a parody of a Snuggie ad? Beautiful. The Snuggie has officially transcended into the realm of the Infomercial Icon.


Hair Club for Men

March 13, 2009

Balding men and infomercial lovers everywhere: rejoice!

What with so many female-friendly infomercials on the blog lately, we thought we’d switch it up a little bit. Today: Hair Club for Men.

There are many iterations of this commercial online, but this one’s our favorite for a few reasons:

  • The way the announcer says the words “human hair”—the first “H” is replaced by the letter “Y” in the most interesting way.
  • “It really gave me more ways to be able to do my hair. And I could do it in more of a nineties fashion.” We just love this man (and his mullet).
  • The (many) shots of men in the water all involve the hair being combed or styled forward over the forehead. (When we come out of the water, we always push our hair back and away from our faces, but these fellows must just really enjoy the feeling of bangs tickling their brows.)
  • In the before-and-after split screens, the man’s pentagonal hairdo at (0:54) is really special. It reminds us of Will Farrell’s look in “Zoolander.”

“And by the way: I’m not only the Hair Club president, but I’m also a client.” Talk about a testimonial!


The Bedazzler: Yesterday, Today, Always

March 12, 2009

The Bedazzler infomercial was super convincing back in the day. (We all wanted to Bedazzle our jeans, shoelaces, and gift bags, right?) In this ad from the late eighties or early nineties, check out the shoulder pads on the checkered blazer-with-turtleneck. That, friends, is a Power Look made more powerful by some fantastic gemstones.

And who knew the product was still on TV in 2005? The ad has a few modern updates (pet collars for your froufrou dog, for example), but it’s still the same old Bedazzler we all know and love! (And yep, that’s Tana from “The Apprentice.”)

“Don’t be dull! Be dazzling!”


Suzanne Somers in ThighMaster Infomercial

March 11, 2009

Today, a truly classic blast from the past.

The Year: 1991

Notable Event: Dissolution of the Soviet Union

Notable Birth: Jamie Lynn Spears

Notable Deaths: Margot Fonteyn, Graham Greene, Frank Capra, Dr. Seuss, Miles Davis, Gene Roddenberry, Freddie Mercury

Notable Infomercial: The ThighMaster

It was an important year all-around.


Jar Glove (SNL)

March 10, 2009

Warning: this excellent “Saturday Night Live” infomercial is an entire minute of before shots. It’s essentially the story of what happens when you don’t have the oh-so-handy Jar Glove to remove caps from peanut butter jars. Prison time is involved.

It may very well feature the longest run-on sentence we’ve seen on television. We were just about to scream by the time we finally got to the “There’s got to be a better way!” payoff.

To be fair: SNL does a great job of calling out—and building—the tension of the before shot. They might be a little too good at it, though; this parody is more torturous to watch than many much longer spots. Funny, but torturous.


Footsie Part II: Once Again, With Pets

March 9, 2009

Thanks for all of the great footcare comments. It’s certainly a subject about which people get passionate! Therefore, we’ve decided to continue in this vein for a post—but not with humans.

Our four-legged friends have footcare infomercials, too! We may love our PedEggs, but we mustn’t forget the Pedi Paws—an automatic nail filer for animals with sharp claws.

They say that animals and children always steal scenes, and it’s true enough in this commercial for Pedi Paws. Excellent testimonials from a vet and a groomer—along with a digitized video of improperly cut nails versus Pedi Paws-cut nails—are quite convincing on an intellectual level. (It really just seems so much more humane than the alternative.)

But, to be honest: the adorable doggies are what really won us over.


Playing Footsie

March 8, 2009

The PedEgg—a small but brilliant callous remover—was one of the most successful infomercial products of 2008. The PedEgg infomercial is great. It’s filled with convincing split screens of before-and-after shots, the testimonials are strong, and the pile-o-skin that gets dumped out of the product after each use is just the right combination of gross (“Eeew!”) and satisfying (“I wish I could remove the dead skin from my feet, too!”).

While we’re on the subject of feet, it seems appropriate to offer up another well-known infomercial from the same year. Yep, the famous Kinoki Detox Foot Pads, which claim to rid your body of dangerous chemicals while you sleep. Though John Stossel did quite the critical report on the quality of the product, even he admits: “The TV ads are persuasive!” He’s right: take a look at the incredibly effective infomercial. When you see the list of chemicals and toxins at 1:01 (we recommend pausing to actually read the list—which includes mercury and asbestos, by the way), we dare you to resist the urge to dial.


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