And yeah, those moments are real. They’re sweet and they absolutely matter.

But let’s be honest: if romanticising your life turns into pretending everything is fine when it absolutely is not, then it stops being healing and starts being delusional cosplay.

Romanticising your life isn’t about denying the lows. It’s about letting beauty coexist with rather ugly parts.

Some days, romanticising your life looks like walking home with your headphones on and pretending you’re in a movie. Not because life is perfect, but because for three songs, you get to feel like the main character instead of a side funny character who kicks the bucket before the boss fight.

Other days, it looks like surviving. And survival is not un-aesthetic. It’s actually one of the most cinematic things a person can do. There is a reason, after all, for why we have romanticised dark academia.

You can light a candle and cry on the floor.
You can love your routine and hate how tired you are.
You can post the sunset and admit that today those are the colors you will bleed.

The problem starts when we think romanticising means editing out the hard parts. When we start believing that if we don’t feel calm, grateful, productive, and glowing all the time, we’re somehow doing life wrong.

But real romance — the kind that sticks — is layered. It has bad lighting and plot twists. It has quiet days where nothing feels magical and loud days where everything feels too much, it has a kid in a book who was never supposed to lose anything but loses everything anyway.

Being honest about the lows doesn’t ruin the romance, it deepens it. Because what’s more cinematic than a person who keeps choosing softness in a world that keeps being angry and difficult?

Romanticising your life means noticing the small good things without gaslighting yourself about the bad ones. It means allowing both to exist without forcing one to cancel out the other.

It means saying: “This is hard, but I will keep trying regardless.”

It means making your bed even when your brain feels messy, making tea even when you don’t feel calm,stepping outside when you don’t even feel like a person.

Not because you’re pretending everything is okay, but because you’re gently telling yourself that I deserve to live guilt free even on days when I can’t do as much.

And that, honestly, is where the real romance lives.

Vastness is natural. Yet in a world that calls itself natural. My size is treated as something else. It places me in an in-between: too big to be a woman, too fragile to be a man.

I think there’s beauty and what can’t be contained. Yesterday I saw a robin in my backyard. It took flight jumping from a tree branch. Scarlet wings scraping the blue sky. Flaming feathers, cutting open the blue air, like it was nothing.

A bright bird in a cage is decoration. But in the wild, it’s a shock — a hit to the chest, electric, almost violent in its beauty. You feel lucky to spot it. Enamoured by its way of being.

But I’m not a bird. I’m made to be controlled. I hate it. I don’t want to have to contract. To shrink myself down. Just to earn someone’s gaze. I promise to treat myself better even if it hurts. I promise.

ARENT THOSE THE SAME PEOPLE THAT TOLD ME TO BE MYSELF?

MY INSTAGRAM AND PINTREST HAVE TO BE MY TWO ALTER EGOS. WHILE IN DECEMBER MY INSTAGRAM IS FILLED WITH JOKES AND MEMES ON HOW I WASTED MY YEAR, MY PINTREST PUSHES ME FOR A COMEBACK.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE BUT I LOVE PINTREST MUCH MORE. MY PINTREST THE OTHER DAY SAID “STOP BEING SCARED OF BEING DISLIKED BY LOSERS” BUT AIN’T I SUPPOSED TO BE THE SUSHINE OF THE ROOM SO HOW CAN A GIRL WITH SENSITIVE HEART NOT CARE FOR EVERYONE? BUT I WAS SUPPOSED TO ALSO BE COOL AND NOT LAUGH TOO LOUD OR BE VERY CHALANT? AND WHAT ABOUT MY CRAZY FUNNY SELF WHO LOVES TO MAKE BAD JOKES AND LAUGH THE LOUDEST LIKE ANN HATHAWAY? BUT MY MOOD BOARD WAS FILLED BY MADDY PERZ AND REGINA GEORGE? BUT I CANT BE LIKE THEM BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE ME UNCOOL, LIKE YOU CAN’T COPY OTHERS. THE LESS I CARE THE BETTER I LIVE? BUT I LOVE WITH MY ARMS WIDE OPEN HOW COULD I NOT CARE?, IF I LAUGH TOO LOUDLY I AM WEIRD, IF I DONT LAUGH,ICARE TOO MUCH ABOU WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME. I NEED TO BE LOVING AND WARM BUT NOT GET ATTACHED TO PEOPLE, I HAVE TO ENSURE THAT I DON’T GET USED OR MANUPILATED. I NEED TO AVOID THE DRAMA AND STAY IN PEACE BUT I WANT TO BE THE DRAMA AND BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION.

I DON’T THINK TILL THE AGE OF 71 REALIZED THAT THE WORLD WAS CONSUMED BY ATTACHMENT TO THE ILLUSION OF MATERIALISTIC THINGS. NOW AT 15 MY BRAIN SAYS I WANT TO GRIND ALL MY 20S AND BE VERY RICH BY MY 30S AND ENJOY A LUXURIOUS LIFE BUT MY HEART ASKS WHO WILL I ENJOY THAT LIFE WITH? MY WORK DOCUMENTS? MY HEART CRIES WHAT WILL I EVEN DO WITH ALL THE LUXURIES WHEN I WILL HAVE ALREADY WASTED MY BEST YEARS? MY HEART SUGGESTS THAT I SHOULD ENJOY MY EARLY 20S AND WORK HARD EARN GOOD ENOUGH AND LIVE A NORMAL HAPPY LIFE BUT MY BRAIN SCREAMS AND REMINDS ME OF MY DREAM OF STANDING AT THAT PODIUM ONE DAY AND SPEAKING SO THE WHOLE WORLD LISTENS. MY BRAIN REMINDS ABOUT EVERYTHING I PROMOSED TO MYSELF? WHAT IS LOVE AND WHAT IS LIFE | ALWAYS PONDERED BECAUSE TO A SOON TO BE 16 YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL, LIFE IS HER LOVE AND LIFE IS TOO COMPLICTED BUT WHAT EVEN IS LIFE WITHOUT HER LOVE FOR THE LIFE SHE IS LIVING AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS TO HER.

Weeping, Withering, Desperate Jack

Scars from trying

Screaming for perfection

The theatre is empty

Why do I act?

Those are what I refer to as “Micromoments” (not to be confused with the similar term used in tech world) The little moments that make your day, the ones that create a sense of joy, and being a good samaritan. Temporary interactions that leave a permanent impact. They provide us with a sense of belonging, of being connected with each other. We are humans after all. We unconsciously thrive on social interactions, especially the good ones. The often gone unnoticed little but significant acts of kindness, or the ‘Thank Yous’ we say or receive, or a little push to doing something new. Even AI Chatbots love a Thanks note at the end of your search (or the long conversations you have on Character AI).

These small interactions are the silent energy we rely on every day. The greatest parts of our journey are built in these tiny acts of kindness and connection. So don’t wait for a milestone to feel connected and go create your next micromoment.

In every stage of life — school, friendships, family, and even online spaces — we are constantly pulled between two powerful forces: the desire to belong and the desire to be authentic. It’s a tug of war that almost everyone experiences, yet we rarely talk about it openly. “Fitting in” promises comfort and acceptance, while “being yourself” promises freedom and self-respect. But when these two conflict, the pressure can feel overwhelming.

The struggle often begins early. As children, we learn that approval comes when we behave, speak, or dress a certain way. Praise becomes associated with conformity, and over time, many of us internalize the idea that being liked is safer than being real. By the time adolescence arrives — when identity is still forming — this belief grows stronger. Suddenly, the fear of judgment becomes louder than our own voice. Trying to fit in feels necessary for survival, especially in social environments filled with expectations.

Yet the truth is that fitting in is rarely as simple or harmless as it seems. When you mold yourself to meet someone else’s standards, you disconnect from your own. You ignore personal opinions to match the crowd’s. You hide the quirks that make you unique. And the most dangerous part? Sometimes you do it so often and so silently that you forget where the mask ends and where you begin. The comfort of belonging comes at the cost of slowly losing pieces of your identity, like giving away fragments of yourself to gain temporary approval.

But on the other side of this tug of war lies authenticity — being unapologetically you. It sounds empowering, and it is, but authenticity also comes with challenges. Being yourself means standing out. It means facing disagreements, criticisms, misunderstandings, and sometimes isolation. It means accepting the risk that not everyone will like you. That’s a difficult truth to swallow in a world that constantly tells us that popularity equals worth. Being yourself requires strength because it often feels like swimming against the current.

So why is there such a strong tension between fitting in and authenticity? The answer lies in human nature. Humans are social beings. We want connection. We want to be seen, valued, and accepted. But at the same time, we also want individuality. We want our identity to matter. We want our voice to be heard. So we’re stuck between wanting to belong to others and wanting to belong to ourselves.

The tug of war continues as we grow older. Social media magnifies it even more. A perfectly curated feed can make you feel as if you must fit into an aesthetic, lifestyle, or personality type just to be relevant. You compare yourself to images that aren’t even real, and suddenly you feel inadequate for being ordinary. The pressure to fit in becomes invisible but constant. You feel judged even when no one is actually watching.

But here’s the part we often forget: fitting in is not the same thing as belonging. Fitting in requires changing yourself to match the group. Belonging means being accepted for who you already are. One demands performance; the other offers peace. And most of the time, we chase fitting in because we haven’t experienced the safety of true belonging yet.

The key to ending — or at least easing — the tug of war is balance. You don’t have to be rebellious just to prove authenticity. You don’t have to force yourself into molds that suffocate you either. You can blend the two by choosing which environments allow you to be comfortably real. Instead of chasing universal approval, seek communities and friendships that appreciate your identity rather than your imitation. These spaces exist — sometimes it just takes patience to find them.

Equally important is learning to listen to yourself. Ask: Are the choices I make truly mine? Or am I doing this to avoid judgment? Self-awareness is your anchor. The more you understand what matters to you, the easier it becomes to navigate when to adapt and when to stand firm.

The tug of war won’t disappear completely — it’s part of being human. Some days you’ll feel the pressure to conform more strongly. Other days you’ll feel brave enough to show your true self. And that’s okay. Growth doesn’t require perfection; it requires honesty.

In the end, the most meaningful connections you will ever form are the ones built on your authentic self, not the version you pretended to be. Fitting in might win you a crowd, but authenticity wins you a home. And the moment you choose to honor who you really are, you loosen the rope in the tug of war — choosing peace over performance, truth over fear, and belonging over simply fitting in.

One day, the hot foil of her skin began to collect dust.

They had overworked her to no return —

day and night, summer and winter —

her wired nerves had ached and her spine had collapsed

until they could no longer reset her.

The lights were switched on,

all through the moon’s rise,

the soot in her steel bones had settled —

Only when she was laid to rest,

did the dust rise —

ready to settle, once again.

Scars of my girlhood still linger in regions I have not yet granted myself access to dig into;

perhaps I lost my own ticket.

Some wounds may close when they are ready,

mine rot within my flesh like the remains of ancient cities between grains of sand.

The beat of my heart unites with long-lost leaders, waiting for me to speak their names once again.

I do not yet have the courage.

Bruises remain from where I had been maimed as a child.

One cannot heal a wound nescient of its origins.

I dig through my own body until my blood vessels crack, but the purpose is never found.

The Intimacy of Sharing Headphones
by Anshika

“We accept the love we think we deserve. And sometimes, that love isn’t spoken out loud, it’s the quiet comfort of knowing someone wants you close enough to share the same song.” — The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Intimacy doesn’t always appear dressed in grand gestures. Sometimes it’s one pair of headphones, two people, and a bit of music that speaks when words can’t.

Sharing headphones is a form of physical intimacy in itself. Leaning forward, your shoulders lightly brush, breaths synchronize. For a few minutes at least, you become one with the same score. It’s not just music -it’s about saying this is how I see the world, are you with me?

Yet it is also fragile. You offer your taste, your feelings, your clandestine favorites. When the other listens in return-not just hears, but listens truly-it feels like understanding without having to ask.

In a noisy world, this is an act of quiet rebellion. The two people press “pause” on everything else and create a private universe pieced together by that one tune.

Sometimes the most intimate things are the smallest. The simple act of sharing headphones shows how closeness can be achieved without words-and all it really requires is a melody.

Nowadays, most teenagers stop speaking at all out of fear of being misinterpreted. Most parents say, “You never talk to us anymore!” and refuse to look into the reason behind this behaviour. Depression? A myth. Get over it. No one realises that the reason they’re always on their phones is that the internet has given them a safe space to express their real thoughts and opinions. To truly be themselves without being judged or criticised. But of course, this is unacceptable. The phones and other privileges get taken away, getting rid of the only freedom teenagers get. Additionally, society puts a whole lot of pressure on the “great minds of the next generation”, while simultaneously criticising every little thing these great minds do. Naturally, they feel burnt out and tired all the time. Without motivation, nothing gets done — leading to more criticism. A harsh cycle. Thus, family, friends and lovers are faced with the infamous “teenage rage”.

This anger can be perceived as a way of asking for attention without actually asking for it. It’s them reminding others of their existence and showing them that they’re still vulnerable kids, as independent as they may seem. It’s how they show you they need affection and care as much as any other child.

It’s not just parents and caregivers. Friends bear the brunt of this too. At a stage where your emotions control you more than you control them, there are going to be more fights than usual. The contradictions of it all — you need to be popular and go to parties, but not party so much that you fall behind in class. You need to study, but not so much that it gives people the chance to call you a nerd. Doing all of this while still making sure you keep in touch with your friends seems impossible, because it is. You either end up neglecting them and feeling alone because of it, or spending too much time with them and falling behind in other respects. So you get angry. Angry at yourself. Angry at them. Angry because it’s so unfair.

But they get it. They understand you because they’re going through the same things. That’s why you’re friends. They just get it in a way no one else can. They also get angry — that’s why they don’t judge you for it. It’s safe, real, and full of love. Those people? They’re the kind of people whom you’d sit in comfortable silence with, even if you’ve known them for five minutes, because at that age? It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them — what matters is whether you can be yourself around them or not.

And of course, romantic relationships are never easy — but as a teenager? You’re considered lucky if one lasts 6 months. Age is definitely a factor — no one’s ready to commit at 16. But apart from that, it seems like the universe is against young love. People cheat and lie and ghost, and worst of all, they might just use you for their own social status. So you feel angry when they don’t text you back after an hour. It’s okay. You’re scared. Scared that they’ll leave. Scared that you’ll be alone. If they’re right for you, they’ll see that your anger is you expressing how much you care, how much they matter to you.

If there’s one thing you take away from this article, let it be this: it’ll be okay. It’s normal to feel angry and frustrated. It’s normal to want to not do anything and just sleep all day. Know that you’re not alone, and the right people will look beyond your rage and see your love.