Today I met with a social worker about joining a Mantra Class at the VA. I had to fill out a suicide safety plan with her. I guess she had to enter it in the computer to acknowledge that I had it.
Really I don’t have any friends that I can rely on and quite honestly, what would I do? What would I say if I called them?
Very few people seem to understand depression and the very negative thoughts that go with it.
Does there come a point where it becomes time to just accept that things are the way they are and you will never achieve what you want? Continue reading
I just got back from the psychiatrist. He wants me to take clomipramine nightly now instead of every other night.
I told him that I have basically resigned myself that the rest of my life will be spent in this depressed and nervous fog. Even if I ever got a girlfriend, I will probably not be able to perform sexually.
My group therapy ended several hours ago. I spent some time after the meeting bullshitting with group members then drove home. I stopped to get some chicken and started setting up to do my P90X YogaX
I began to think about the events of the group. I had been open about my depression and anxiety. Well, more open then I had been before. I discussed my loneliness and how towards the end of the day I became more depressed.
As I thought about the events the thoughts began to fire and they began to fire the depression. The thoughts themselves turned towards depression. I can’t explain it.
One of the most difficult parts of depression and/or anxiety is the feeling that nobody can hear you. Not only can’t you be heard, nobody cares to see if you are talking
alonelyrunner 