“We Lived Life Together”

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I recently wrote a letter to our beloved at-home daycare provider telling them that in the fall my daughter would be leaving to start preschool. It was not an easy letter to write. I’m told it was not easy to read.I was then asked if i’d write a similar letter as a reference to potential families. Gladly.  Below is what I came up with.

I first walked through the doors of Annette and Dusty’s home as a reporter at a local television station. I was there to interview Annette and her youngest daughter for a feature story coming up. As I sat down with the two of them, I couldn’t help but notice the sounds of laughter and the running around of a group of little kiddos. A couple of coos from some of the babies in the group. 

Having recently become a mother myself, I paid extra attention to what was going on. AnnetImagete proudly shared with me her dedication to the daycare she ran with another daughter and the love they both had for foster children they cared for.

My heart melted. What are the chances? I was in a position where I, myself, was in search of a daycare. Our son had been nannied for six months and we were ready to move him into more social setting with other children. After talking with Annette I experienced that mother’s “gut” feeling. The one we use to make so many important decisions. I had not visited a single other daycare. I just knew this is where my son needed to be.

That was eight years ago. Mason attended Annette’s daycare for four and a half years. My four year old daughter followed in his footsteps. It is with great sadness that she moves on to her next chapter of pre-school.

I knew these people  were somefamily photothing special. I had no idea how much my family and I would grow to love them. I realize this is unique. And I am not meaning to suggest that this will happen for everyone who goes to their daycare. What I can tell you is this is a loving and nurturing family. They cared for my children like they were their own. Together, we’ve experienced a lot… growing families, and weddings… and the devastations of divorce and loss.

Annette and Dusty’s youngest daughters have babysat my children. I have watched those girls grow up. I have gotten to know all three of their oldest girls. And their grandbabies, too. My children and I are so blessed to have them in our lives. And I know that long after my children have left daycare, we will be in touch. We are friends.

There are tears in my eyes and there is an aching in my heart as I put these thoughts on paper. But it is important. As you make your decision about who will nurture your children while you are away, know that with this family, they are in the most tender of hands.

A privilege and an honor

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I had the privilege of working on the below television commercial for the Sioux Falls Regional Airport. The project had already started when I joined the firm that I work for, so I was brought in during the scripting phase. As I read through the outline of what we wanted to convey, my mind immediately went to a beautiful family I know who experienced what we were trying to convey. In my mind, I couldn’t imagine finding actors to try and capture what military families go through daily. I shared some thoughts and photos with the team. And they agreed.

What was an even bigger privilege however, was this family’s willingness to share their story with all half of the state. This was a real day in their lives. This was pure emotion that continues to be raw for them and all their friends and family who shared in the reunion. They feel honored to be a part of this television spot. I am honored to know them.

 

 

Judgement turned Gratitude

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Goodbyes are never easy. In fact, when they’re someone we care about, they truly suck. And this is how I’m feeling tonight.

I have an amazing friend. And if a year ago you would have told me she would be an amazing friend, I would’ve laughed in your face. Why? Because I judge people. Or sometimes I worry they judge me. Which is the case here. 

I had met Marnie several times through mutual friends. Beautiful woman. Tall. Blonde. Blue eyes. But she was quiet. And I always felt like she hated me. Therefore, I chose not to care much for her either. I thought she was the judgie one. But here’s the truth. She’s quiet and has some insecurities of her own.

I went to work at the same place as Marnie. I couldn’t have been more worried that she would hate me. That we wouldn’t get along. That working with her would be difficult.

Instead? The exact opposite. She turned out to be one of the best friends I’ve ever had. So why the confusion? Well truth be told, we have a lot in common. A lot of the same insecurities. A lot of the same anxieties. We struggle with similar depression. But at the same time, we are both strong women who want to contribute. Who want to give it our all and have that matter. Personally and professionally. 

Why do we do this as women? I mean, I could be wrong, but I do think it’s a female thing. We’re so quick to judge one another. To put up walls. Yet… we are often are most authentic selves when we’re around other women. Take yesterday’s retreat for example. (read yesterday’s post if you’re not aware of what I’m talking about) Forty women – mostly strangers – came together and had one of the most comfortable, non-judgemental, authentic evenings. Yet you get us outside of that environment and we’re not necessarily kind to each other. Sure, we all treasure our female friends, but finding them and getting close to them is not something to be taken lightly. Why do we do this? Does anyone know? Is there an answer? I welcome your thoughts.

So Marnie is leaving me. Not me of course. Marnie is in love. And ready for a new career adventure. So she courageously is selling her house, and moving to an unknown city so she can be with the man she deserves to be with. I couldn’t be happier. But selfishly, I couldn’t be more sad. I feel like there will be a hole in my life not having her around. 

So today I am grateful for my beautiful amazing friend. She has been a blessing in my life and naturally, I am hopeful that will continue. It always does with true friends… no mater how many miles separate us. 

The whole thing taught me a lesson. Be less quick to judge. Hell don’t judge at all. I’m human. It’ll probably take a little while before I get there… but it’s a good intention I think… as I work to find my authentic self.

Manifestation Workshop

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There are people I’ve met in my life who give off an amazing, powerful energy. A positive energy. Like you can almost see it just radiating off of them. They’re magnetizing and I want to be around them more and more because they make me feel positive too. I’m happy to be around them. They inspire me. Tonight, I had the most amazing opportunity to spend some time with them… doing yoga, some powerful writing, some emotional sharing – all in a “manifestation workshop” that was over way too soon.

Thanks to my friend Melissa… I was invited to attend a Manifestation Workshop in Sioux Falls put on by the amazing Jennifer Pasitloff. I began following Jennifer’s blog and on Facebook a couple of months ago. But it was during my recent one month unemployment that I found myself seeking inspiration and solace in her messages.

Jennifer leads week-long writing and yoga workshops in wonderful places like California, Italy and Hawaii. And it’s on my bucket list to attend one someday. That someday is probably a ways out in the future – but tonight I got a tiny glimpse of what it would be like. Melissa invited Jennifer to Sioux Falls. Bought her a plane ticket and promised her that she’d get a room full of open-minded women ready to manifest something wonderful. Jennifer agreed and Melissa made good on her promise. I believe there were 40 of us who experienced this journey of opening ourselves up to all that is possible in our lives.

It was everything I hoped it would be and more. I laughed. I cried. I sweat my ass off. Thought I was gonna pass out. I reflected on who I am. What’s holding me back? I threw away my “pile of shit” excuses and gave thanks for those who love and support me. Attending one of her longer retreats is an even bigger goal. The energy in the room blew my mind. All the women there were so courageous and so much fun. I wish I could do a better job of describing the experience, but perhaps that’s what made it soMelissa Jennifer special. It’s a feeling that is just too awesome to put into words.

When I heard that Jennifer was coming, I cried. I had to attend. But I had been unemployed for a month and was literally broke. Credit cards maxed out. I swallowed my pride and tapped Melissa. She floated me the money and got me registered. I cannot thank her enough because this is something I just couldn’t miss. When you’re going through something as life-changing as a layoff, things can get pretty dark. Even though it wasn’t my fault that I lost my job, I felt embarrassed. I felt like a failure. I still felt like maybe if I had done something different, I would still have my job. I watched as my money slowly disappeared. I was scared to my very core. But I kept my chin up. I went into survival mode. I spent quality quality time with my children – because at the end of the day, that’s all that mattered. Not how much money was in the bank. I was scared to ask Melissa for the money. But, going back to where I started this post, she is one of the most kind, positive women I’ve ever met. And I knew, I just knew, that asking her was safe. I knew she would understand why I needed to be there. I am so very grateful.

I got home tonight after a wonderful meal, some tasty drinks and great laughter with a small group of wonderful women and I was tired. I wanted to write this post while the experience was so fresh. But it’s late. I’m tired. I have to work tomorrow. And then I remembered one of the exercises from earlier tonight. Get rid of those ridiculous excuses. So that’s exactly what I did. I sat down to write here. Something I haven’t done in way, way too long. And it’s liberating. I’m still tired. But I’m happy. I’m content. I feel blessed and satisfied.

Relating to Relationships

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Below is a post I wrote for Paulsen Marketing’s Blog. It’s just a little look at some of my experiences since I began there a month ago and one of the best parts of my job.

Enjoy.

I have mixed feelings when it comes to technology. It has improved the way we keep in touch, advanced our businesses, added convenience to our lives. But in this age of email, texting and tweeting, I feel it has also eliminated the human aspect of our relationships. No longer do we need to pick up the phone to check on a friend, we just get out our smart phones and check for a status update. Rarely is there a human voice on the other end of the line when we make a call. It can be simple and convenient. But I often wonder if something is missing.

Recently I was given the opportunity here at Paulsen Marketing to hit the road for a couple days worth of video shoots. My role was to discover why customers enjoyed working with one of our clients. And what I discovered is that old fashioned service with a smile and handshake is alive and well.

I met people who believe the key to success is human relationships, developing those relationships and then delivering service that helps their customers be successful. Real conversations, face-to-face meetings, lunch together in the local café, sharing a cup of coffee.

Don’t get me wrong. Technology certainly has its place, as well. The individuals I spoke with are accessible to their customers. Taking calls, responding to emails and answering questions. And when they don’t have the answers, finding them quickly. They’re proud of this business model. In a day and age where technology is changing so much, so quickly, they’re taking the time to pause and remember the men and women using their products. 

I’m as guilty as the next person, sending my sister a text instead of picking up the phone and calling her. Firing my mom an email instead of actually putting a stamp on a letter and sending it off. And that’s why trips like this are so important to us here at Paulsen Marketing, as well. It gets us out of the office and face-to-face with the people we partner with. It’s a value we share. Human interaction is priceless and I’m inspired to know that it continues to be at the root of what we do.

The Sound of Music

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Main Avenue is alive with the sound of music. The music of basketballs pounding on the pavement. A chorus of children’s laughter, dogs barking and neighbors greeting one another after what’s felt like a hibernation. I hear the percussion of runners feet approaching, crescendo and then it’s gone. Birds chirping. Listen carefully and I can hear the charcoal hitting the metal bowls of the Webers and steaks sizzling on from the heat. A can opening. A wine cork popping. It only takes one day. One day of warm sunshine and my neighborhood is alive. It’s the symphony of spring, conducted by mother nature herself, performed by the residents of South Dakota, awakening after a long, cold, blah winter. And to use another cliché… it’s music to my ears.

And Sunday? Back to 37 degrees.

I am not a terrible parent… at least according to one guy.

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I have been meaning to do another post here and naturally I’ve managed to put it off once again. Until today.

I read something that stopped me in my tracks. It’s something I’ve thought. Something I’ve discussed with my closest of friends. Something I stress over. And as it turns out… I’m not alone.

I cannot describe the sigh of relief that literally escaped from my body as I read someone who understands.

The post was from another blog (I’ll include the link below) about parenting. And all the wonderful emotions we feel as parents… particularly the ones we don’t want to say out loud or brag about. I wish I could’ve found the words to say it myself.

Link to The Actual Pastor article entitled:  “To parents of small children:  Let me be the one who says it out loud.”

To the author, thank you for reiterating what I’ve always known in the back of my head. Thank you for calling attention to something so frustratingly wonderful. 

Spring to Life

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As diligent as I am at posting on this site (sarcasm), I also try to keep up with the header imagery. And I always try to use a photo I’ve taken relevant to the season we are in. Today is the first day of spring, and South Dakota continues to look much like the dead of winter. Brown. Frozen. Drab. Depressing. Not to mention bitterly cold.

But with Daylight Savings came longer days and more sunshine and I am optimistic that the true spring will show itself soon. Fingers crossed at least.

For me this is an awesome time of year. There is always a little skip in my step. So much hope for me. So much anticipation of what’s to come in the months ahead. A bit more energy. A bit more patience.

I use that patience as I anticipate spring’s return, because in reality, I know it’s gonna be awhile before my own flowers are peeking through the frozen earth.