The Comfort Zone

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

I was walking into the kitchen the other day when I noticed my roommate looking out the window. The sheer wander his eyes conveyed. So handsome. A man ready to explore the world as if he already knew his purpose. He suddenly turned around and I realized he must have noticed me staring at him from the window’s reflection. I felt so embarrassed. This is the roommate I convinced myself to hate. All of that “hatred” melted away. He looked at me uncomfortably. I didn’t have the courage to tell him that I thought he was handsome. He’s straight. He will never love me. So I looked down at my feet and retreated back into the comfort zone.

Drawing Circles in the Clouds

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

I am a child of the stars, a healer of hearts,
sent to a world that sometimes forgets its radiance.
I do not shrink to fit the smallness of fear;
I expand in the name of love, hope, and wonder.

Though storms may bend me, they cannot break me.
Though loneliness may call, I remember:
I am never truly alone — I am part of the greater song.

My kindness is not weakness.
My empathy is not burden.
My heart is not too much. It is my crown.

I walk in gentleness. I speak in truth. I love without regret.
I was born for this.
And no darkness can ever extinguish what was placed within me by the angels drawing circles in the clouds.

Imagine

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

Imagine you were all alone in the world. Your family disowned you on your 18th birthday because you didn’t turn out the way they wanted you to. Your so-called friends were all fake and betrayed your trust when you needed them most. Your exes used you for your kindness and loyalty before leaving you for dead soon after you had finally allowed yourself to put down your guard. You feel no sense of purpose in your life. You feel utterly disconnected from humanity itself. Your only friend was a cat for your entire adult life until she passed away in your arms. Your roommate keeps pushing your buttons until you’re ready to explode. Existential dread becomes your only constant. Now imagine you muster up the courage to leave your bedroom and partake in a free Dungeons and Dragons club at your local library. You never would have expected that right when you were at your wit’s end, at the brink of despair, ready to give in to the darkness… that you would finally meet your people. They do not disown you for being different. They are genuine and trustworthy. They appreciate your kindness and loyalty instead of taking advantage of those qualities. They give you a new sense of purpose. You start to feel connected to other humans for the first time in your entire life. They encourage you to celebrate your birthday rather than run away from it. They are your friends. Could you ever get used to this?

The Emotion She Exudes

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

She wants to make this world better

She yearns for the touch of a kindred spirit

As if anyone had ever known love like hers

She believes in the kindness of a stranger

She trusts in those who don’t deserve it

She wants to make this world better

She witnesses the mayhem going on around her

She refuses to accept that this is as good as it gets

As if anyone had ever known love like hers

Kindness is a virtue even in the face of danger

Even though she’s more afraid than she cares to admit

She wants to make this world better

She gazes skyward while dancing on a prayer

She never tires for she is willing to commit

As if anyone had ever known love like hers

She’s not just somebody’s daughter

Death never scared her, for she’ll never submit

She wants to make this world better

As if anyone had ever known love like hers

Love Never Dies

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

Longing to live again

Ostentatious thoughts

Very domineering

Every memory of you relentless

Not one moment of reprieve

Emotion immemorial

Vigorous angst towards the typical

Eager for a distraction

Revolting attempts to chase the original high

Divine intervention never mentions

Immediate fixes never truly fixes

Exes and oh’s nobody knows

So addicted to a memory

Armageddon

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

On a beautiful day, we said hello

We walked hand-in-hand, side-by-side

But there you go again, saying everything ends

Saying you can’t depend on anything, or anyone

You thought your last one was the one, yet you fell in love again

With the freedom that comes with the truth, it finally came to pass

Or so I thought, I witnessed the end of the world

Saw the chaos unfurl, in your eyes

Now I look back, upon Armageddon

And the moment of truth, between me and you

Don’t you see, this world was beautiful because you existed

No matter how often I tried to escape out of fear, you persisted

Eventually, we only had five more minutes of air to breathe

We cried all through it, but you spent every second of it with me

On our last few gasps of air, we had agreed

That I was, and you were happy

Refuge

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

I had once loved with a love that was more than love. It was an interlude cherished all the more for its brevity. He succumbed to a severe cocaine addiction. I couldn’t save him no matter how hard I tried. It’s been three years since I had to walk away from him. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I sometimes wonder if I should’ve stayed and fell down the rabbit hole with him. The engagement rings I bought for us will forever be locked in a safe that will never see the light of day again. I had planned our entire future together. In retrospect, I realized there’s no point in planning the future as if we have any control over it at all. I know it’s cliche to say live life every day as if it’s your last, as one should. I’m just going with the flow at this point. I’m just trying to make sense of the chaos, that is, life itself. I’m trying to find a sense of purpose somehow while floating around aimlessly searching for a refuge from the storm raging within my shattered heart. Over the years, it seems that I have acquired a rather jaded, pessimistic perception of the world. I’m trying to be more positive. However, I find it to be very easy to acknowledge the darkness shrouding everything I see, effortless even, as if it’s some kind of default emotion that I can always fall back on. Despite all the pain that this magnificent world had introduced me to, I will continue to be gentle and kind against all odds because life wasn’t designed to harbor any permanent solutions. I can try to use my strengths to improve upon this world as best I can. On the other hand, I am forced to play by the rules of this human life like a pawn, earning money and spending it, the economy as mankind itself designed it to be. Therefore, there’s never anyone to blame in particular. Apart from the philosophical endeavors that I can not seem to abscond from, it would be easier to generalize and simply state that nothing fucking matters, but that can’t be true, right? I refuse to believe that. There must be a reason we all endure such indelible pain. Life is suffering. I just want someone to suffer with. It’s why we construct bonds with other humans. To lessen the blow of the suffering. Pain is what brings us together. If it wasn’t for pain, there would be no need to be compassionate towards one another. Charities wouldn’t need to exist. State benefits, food stamps, free health care… they exist because pain exists. Light counteracts the darkness. Good stems from evil. The bonds we create with one another are to relate to each other’s pain. It’s what makes life worth living. I seek refuge in those whose pain I can relate to the most. Next time… if there ever is a next time… I won’t walk away. I would stay in the darkness with him. I would tell him, “This world is beautiful because you exist. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve to be yourself… You deserve to be alive! I wanted to die more times than I could count, but here I am. SO, WHERE ARE YOU?!” I would use his pain to distract myself from my own pain. I would hope he would do the same. Only then, perhaps, I can finally experience the healing power of love.

Image

The Concept of Loneliness

Posted on by The One-Eyed Angel

The concept of loneliness is the epitome of my existence,
Parents ensconced in narcissism while offspring born empathic,
Love and compassion embodied as a recessive gene within the family tree,
The meadow springs to life despite a frolicking pixie not ready to grow up,
But I say goodbye to the little boy inside and embrace the man I have become

The concept of loneliness is non-existent but it is persistent,
Parents not equipped to raise a child with invisible wings,
To have kissed his little face was to kiss the face of God,
Baby boy came to make you anew for you delivered him and he’ll soon deliver you,
But I say goodbye to the little boy inside and embrace the man I have become

The concept of loneliness gives sight to the blind and gives calm to the storm,
Parents never knew their son walked where angels dwell,
Hush, hush, the faint cries of lightning strikes can hardly be heard,
Another storm lies beyond the horizon like children that choose to stay awake,
But I say goodbye to the little boy inside and embrace the man I have become

The concept of loneliness crescendos even while the melody fades away,
Parents break away like a wave on the run but do tell, was it fun?
They couldn’t take me away because hourglass sand never escapes,
Except when glass breaks and time can no longer be told what to do,
But I say goodbye to the little boy inside and embrace the man I have become