So I've gone through some really troubling stages this year. Today, for instance, I am taking Monday off work because I felt too damn lethargic after drinking all weekend. I did a dry January, but then the very first night of February I ended up in the hospital because I was basically lost and hysterical … Continue reading Starting Over
When Shit Keeps Fucking Up and You choose to do sobriety (or something damn close) for your own good
Do you have friends who drink way more than you on average, have less demanding/scheduled daily workdays, take more medication than you, get overly drunk and emotionaly more than you try to put you down after you slip up and get too drunk at some function (even if half of the people at the function … Continue reading When Shit Keeps Fucking Up and You choose to do sobriety (or something damn close) for your own good
one more note for today.
If I could have a mantra I would always think of before I moved or spoke it would be SILENCE IS OKAY. As a creative and passionate person, I like to speak. I like to make human connections. I like to text people within a reasonable time to show that I'm there. But here's the … Continue reading one more note for today.
RELAPSE.
So I gave into the weight of moving cities alone without movers. Went on a bit of a binge. But here's some things I've reminded myself just sitting on the floor in my new apartment looking out the windows: people will almost always come back around; ppl don't want to be there when you're down, because … Continue reading RELAPSE.
SILENCE OR FREEDOM?
If you've ever worked at a corporate-ish job with highly intelligent people and also been someone has emotions and likes things to be a bit more exciting, do you ever wonder where it is appropriate to draw the line between strategic silence, intentional social-ingratiation despite internal boredness, social niceties versus having a little bit of fun, … Continue reading SILENCE OR FREEDOM?
UNTETHERED.
I'm going to try to make this short and to the point, becuase I'm exhausted and don't want to ramble. I had another breakthrough of realizing that after cutting out the negative people and cutting out that relationship with a man who I didn't even realize was a major source of unhappiness--not even that he … Continue reading UNTETHERED.
VENTURING OUT.
So, I noticed starting when I was in undergrad at Berkeley that I started to have real social anxiety when I was walking around on campus. I could usually be totally fine with a group of friends, and generally made friends really easily, but I easily slip into this feeling that I'm being looked at … Continue reading VENTURING OUT.
Finding the Sweet Spot Between Paralyzing Self-Doubt and Over-Confidence–maybe it’s all about forgiveness?
I've realized in looking back upon my past that sometimes when I was going through phases where I was drinking a fair amount, but mostly keeping everything under control and never having debilitating blackouts that I could almost become kind of snooty. I didn't necessarily look down on people who liked to go out and … Continue reading Finding the Sweet Spot Between Paralyzing Self-Doubt and Over-Confidence–maybe it’s all about forgiveness?
GOOD GOD, but what feels better? Nightcap Note
BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT feels better than being in a snuggly bed for the night and knowing you gave work to your day hours. That is all there is, ever. If I can remember to refrain from getting caught up in desires or things that I "need to do" (which are really just stemming from some … Continue reading GOOD GOD, but what feels better? Nightcap Note
MAKING A SEA CHANGE.
I, like many problematic drinkers, have issues with anxiety, perfectionism, and a need for validation, approval, and accolades. But one thing that I've realized when I finally took the advice of cutting people out of my life that are negative sources is that it actually can be SO MUCH EASIER than you expect to shift … Continue reading MAKING A SEA CHANGE.
Another Drunk Girl 
