Joyous Beltane!
May 1, 2010
May Day. Does nature ever show herself more girlishly than on May Day? The flowers in my garden are so fresh and pastel: the lilacs, the apple blossoms. The sun is warm, but not hot. The air stirs only gently. There are even little drops and puddles left over from last night’s shower. I would call this day delicate, how very fitting for May Day.
I shall bring some lilacs into my house. And tonight I’ll light a ritual fire. Let the new season begin. Let passion and love grow from pure beginnings.
Kindness?
April 13, 2010
“It is necessary to help others, not only in our prayers, but in our daily lives. If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is to desist from harming them. ” Dalai Lama
Yep. Got it. I agree. Who would disagree? But some people….arghhh!
I am a reasonably tolerant person. There are many reasons for that. First of all, harming none, respecting every person’s place in the web of life, is the primary ethical rule taught to me by my parents. It is ingrained. Also, I firmly believe that we are all connected, all a part of the Divine. To think, much less act, otherwise slams up against my spiritual beliefs. And I have a less noble reason also for practicing tolerance. I see over and over again that the way we treat others does come back to us. Both the carrot and the stick, the reward and the punishment, clearly direct me to follow the wisdom of the Dalai Lama and so many other spiritual leaders who invoke us to be kind.
But balance will always win in the end. That tenet of my beliefs is my going home place, my neutral. I can aspire to think, say and do the kind thought, word and deed in all situations. And I won’t. I never will. If I am tugged too hard, I will react. I have been tugged. Doesn’t happen all that often. I ground, I center, I shield when I must. I am very good at ignoring the little stuff. And I am blessed with having a high threshold before I become angry. When that anger kicks in though, I know that I am off balance.
Sometimes the best I can do is desist from harming others. Sometimes the compassion is just not there and I must turn my back, not my cheek, and walk away. I would solve all the issues of all the people if I could. But I can’t. Sometimes I must just heal my own issues that others may claw at. That is job enough for me.
Do Not Believe
April 3, 2010
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” Buddha
Ostera, Passover, Easter, this is a time of religious observations. I am less and less religious the older I get. My beliefs are increasingly flexible. What someone believes or does not believe is of limited interest to me at this point. There is a time for seeking, a time for questioning, and a time for accepting. I believe this is my time for accepting — for accepting that the Divine is beyond my comprehension. All I care is that I live with as much compassion for others as I can.
The compassion that is hardest for me is for those who, even with the best of intentions, want so very much to be right. Believing oneself to be right forces a certain blindness and deafness, a certain kind of self-preservation that walls one off from others. May I not be one of those. May I be contented to be just right enough for me. May I find happiness with the things that agree with reason and are conducive to the good and benefit of one and all.
Ostera
March 27, 2010
My children and I had a lovely traditional Ostera last weekend. I brought out my mother’s bunny statues and we dyed eggs. The nicest part of tradition is that past and present come together for at least a brief moment. That seems especially dear to me for Ostera, the celebration of the balance in the spring equinox.
My mother was a difficult woman in many ways. She would not have been so difficult had she been born in my generation instead of hers. She wanted a bigger life than was served up to her. I have lovely memories though of spring rituals with my mother. She loved rabbits. Each year we would give her a new rabbit statue and she would be so delighted. When I put out the rabbits each year for Ostera I feel especially close to that sweet part of my mother.
My children understand the importance of the rabbits, the tie to the grandmother they barely remember. They especially understand the importance of the egg dying though. We all become five years old together, applying stickers, writing special messages in wax, and watching the pastel colors appear. My childhood, theirs, all together in tradition. Such a simple tradition. I am grateful to have adult children who understand the importance of stopping once in a while to remember and cherish the past.
Next year I am thinking we might dye eggs the traditional Lithuanian way, with beet juice and onion skins. My mother used to talk about dying eggs that way when she was a child, each year as we opened our Paas egg dying kits, but we never actually did that. She was very careful to honor the old ways but act in modern ways. I think I would like to experience the old ways.
My this spring bless us all with strong new growth.
Peace
March 13, 2010
| “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” Mahatma Gandhi
I feel some degree of peace right now. The dramas of my life are less flamboyant than they have been for some time. I click through my checklist: kids good, relationships good, health good, work good, money good. What has changed? My circumstances? Perhaps. A bit. Mostly, gratefully, I think I have changed. I have made peace with the real and imagined imperfections that were so disturbing to me for so long. At least for right now. My new moon dedication is to nurturing that sense of peace that can exist outside of my circumstances. |
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The Lotus Flower
March 8, 2010
This is the tattoo I have on my foot. Yes, ouch. I do not recommend foot tattoos. But I love mine. I love the metaphor of the lotus for many reasons. Today I have been thinking about the upward growth of the lotus: from the earth, through the water, to the air, reaching for the sun.
I was stuck in the earth for quite a while. It was a good place for me to be, grounded. Then I went through a washing phase, a coming back to life. It occurs to me recently that I am now in air. The first big gasps of, “Wow, I’m alive!” have passed and I’m breathing more easily. I trust that the sun is there. I just don’t quite feel it yet.
I look around me at those I know, family and friends. Each seems so clearly in one of the elements. And our circumstances constantly change.
Each phase has so much to offer. Things dark and heavy? This time will pass. Things sunny and light? This time will pass too.
This time for me is bright with promise. I know change is coming and I embrace it.
Full Moon Blessing
February 28, 2010
Continuity,
Even as life changes
It still continues on.
Transformation,
As life continues on,
It always changes.
For those of us who are mindful of the spirituality of the earth, the full moon represents different things at different times. This esbat, as spring and rebirth grow near, I am struck by how much things change and how much they remain the same. I am always comforted by the predictability of nature. No matter what happens, the seasons turn, the moon waxes and wanes, the sun rises and sets. Today I am equally comforted by the certainty of change. Within that safe framework of what remains the same, the details of our lives continue to evolve.
I am grateful for those things that can be expected. I embrace those things that evolve.
Magic
February 21, 2010
A friend of mine, DS, in a Forum I visit wrote an interesting tidbit today and it is well worth my contemplation. She said that she believes in magic, that we can impact the events of our lives, and yet she has simultaneously accepted limiting beliefs about herself. The dichotomy of those two polar concepts gave her new motivation to improve her life and apply her will to meet her goals. It made enormous sense to me too. So simple. So important.
This is something I have been thinking about myself, but I have not been able to put it in such clear terms. So here is my thought: If I really believe that thoughts impact words and actions, if I really believe that the energy I draw from the Divine and creation can be worked with to impact change, how can I also believe that there are some things I cannot do?
I do not believe that there is a personified God who makes choices for me. I believe that there is a Divine energy that binds us all to the Divine and that each of us impacts that energy. Or do I? If I really believed that I am a part of the Divine, how could I even think to make choices that could negatively impact me or someone else? Am I just lazy when I lie on the sofa in front of the TV instead of using my time well? Am I just foolish when I allow some silliness at work make me grumpy? Or am I really denying the Divine and the precious treasure of holding my place in the energic flow?
What I do matters. It matters to me and it matters to everyone in the web of life. Something important to remember.
Be More Inquiring
February 16, 2010
“To understand truth one must have a very sharp, precise, clear mind;
not a cunning mind, but a mind that is capable of looking without
any distortion, a mind innocent and vulnerable.
Only such a mind can see what truth is.
Nor can a mind that is filled with knowledge perceive what truth is;
only a mind that is completely capable of learning can do that.
Learning is not the accumulation of knowledge.
Learning is movement from movement to movement. ”– J. Krishnamurti
I have a friend at work, A, who is very wise. She’s one of those co-workers we are all happy to see because we know we will exchange a few casual words and, from those words, some sort of brilliance will emerge. I had a tough situation to deal with at work a while back and I went to her for some brilliance. I couldn’t figure my way around an obstacle that I just had to overcome. Ah-ha, I thought, A will know what I can do. So we chatted. It was my intention to be non-judgemental and professional, to convey facts without editorializing, to be fair. Well. I didn’t quite pull it off. I was emotionally wound up in this mess and was far from impartial — as much as I really needed to be impartial, as much as I wanted to be impartial, as much as I needed for A to see the situation from a neutral viewpoint. All the time, I was whispering in my ear, “Don’t color the story. Just outline it. ” But I colored it. Maybe not in the vibrant paints I was feeling, but in pastels anyway. There was definitely color. A gave me advice, good advice, sound business advice. She even offered to help, to facilitate a meeting I knew I could never pull off without being a total jerk. It was a good chat. I felt better. I got some good ideas. But there was no brilliance, just sound advice. We were done talking and as she walked away, the brilliance burst forth. “Be more inquiring,” she said. Those three words have stuck with me, not just for dealing with my uber problem at work, but for looking at life a bit differently.
Dark of the Moon
February 13, 2010
Tonight is the night before the new moon, the dark of the moon. It’s a great time for looking at, making peace with, and releasing our dark traits. I’ve been in releasing mode this whole month, actually; so I celebrate this dark of the moon.
We all have our dark traits. They are usually the flip side of our greatest light. It’s when we let the darkness overcome us that our light doesn’t shine as brightly as it can. For me, at this point of my life, my quietness is my binding dark trait. I’m coming out of a tumultuous time of life when learning to still myself, to let life flow, to disengage, allowed me to survive and grow. That time is over. I’ve learned to be still, and it is now time to move again.
It’s an odd kind of releasing, to release the nothingness. I’ve had to think about this for some time to understand the difficulty of my position. My darkness is not saying, not doing, not moving. Now that I see it, it is so clear. But, in the absence of actively doing anything wrong, it was hard for me to see what my lesson was to learn. My light that is not shining as it should now is just living more fully. How very simple. How silly to resist.
I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to celebrate the dark of the moon tonight. I’ve decided that I’m going to do a simple visualization. I’ll share it here in a generalized form so that you can adapt it for your own celebration, if you would like to do that.
Preparation: Put great thought into the various aspects of your dark trait so that you can visit those aspects with clarity.
Visualization: Sit before a single candle, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and release your thoughts gently. If thoughts not related to your visualization enter, just notice them and let them go. Visualize a dark moonless night. All you can see is a big dark house on a large estate of empty land. Walk up to the house, see that the door opens easily. You are in a large entryway with several doors and halls. Choose one door to open. Go in there and see yourself, without judgement, looking the way you do when you are in your dark trait. Just watch yourself until you are ready to leave, then continue your journey in the house. As you enter each new room in the house, continue to see yourself with the traits you wish to abandon. After you have observed each room containing all the aspects of your dark trait, go back to the door. Say good-bye to the darkness.
Walk outside and see how the land around the estate is not empty at all. In fact, it is not night afterall. The sun is shining. The sky is blue with great white clouds. The landscape is lush with trees, and bushes, and flowers. There is a stream gently flowing. Every kind of gentle animal is swimming, walking, and flying where you can see them. Turn around and see that the house itself is now bright and shiny. And so are you. You feel light and relaxed and happy as you walk away.
Open your eyes. Blow out the candle. Live your life well.
This Day with AquaBlueWater 
