It has been a quick year from turning 40 to officially hitting 41. Lots of big changes and new discoveries in self awareness. At times my emotions were at their peak over the last year but also, at times I found solace in quiet pain and giving myself the allowances to grow.
I am most grateful for the loves in my life, the friendships that have grown and the friendships that I am finally recognizing have evolved into something planted in my memory, revisited in my mind but are not what they used to be; beautifully present in my life. They have become a part of my past and I honor them with grace and focus on my tribe now with diligent commitment.
My sons remind me every day, every week, every month and year that our lives are limited only by the limitations we place on others and ourselves. As I slowly loosen my grip I know they are growing so fast and every moment I have with them is a gift and they were created from such an unconditional love. They are and will be the best parts of my past and present.
I have learned moments are just moments, relish in the ones I receive and never hang onto the ones that I miss. Put my tribe first and what happens around myself and them are bonuses. I have a lot more strength that I give myself credit for. I love deeply and hard, I want new, fresh experiences that challenge me and make me feel alive. I want unmeasurable passion. I don’t want to be on my heels in life, I want to be forward like a sprinter waiting for the gun to go off. I want to be caught off guard and stimulated by thought and conversation. I want to be better at seeing things through others eyes because my world can seem small within its own confines.
I want to be better, think bigger, and more brilliant in the next year.

I love the smell of old books and seeing notes on the edges of the page and highlighted areas, words and phrases that meant something to someone else. The crunch of fall leaves. I love raw and honest conversations that can catch two people off guard and the intimacy that occurs in those moments. I love being surprised, spontaneous, risky and feeling safe in someone’s arms. I love “heat,” the crackling sounds and smells that come from a wood stove. I love to feel challenged mentally and physically. I love to surprise others! I love blankets. Soft thick heavy blankets and being buried underneath them. I love getting dressed up every once in a while. But I can’t beat my love for yoga pants, Hudson jeans, and perfectly worn out sweatshirts. I love writing. I love words. But I do not like texts because things get complicated…
I love the smell of old books and seeing notes on the edges of the page and highlighted areas, words and phrases that meant something to someone else. The crunch of fall leaves. I love raw and honest conversations that can catch two people off guard and the intimacy that occurs in those moments. I love being surprised, spontaneous, risky and feeling safe in someone’s arms. I love “heat,” the crackling sounds and smells that come from a wood stove. I love to feel challenged mentally and physically. I love to surprise others! I love blankets. Soft thick heavy blankets and being buried underneath them. I love getting dressed up every once in a while. But I can’t beat my love for yoga pants, Hudson jeans, and perfectly worn out sweatshirts. I love writing. I love words. But I do not like texts because things get complicated, and thing become misinterpreted. I love exploring different environments – places I have never been, farms, fields, cities, and towns. Even more I love the high old growth trees that get lost in the sky, I love how they creak when the wind blows – the rain that drips from the needles… under these trees I would love a secret a place I only know about. A place that was mine.

I love the smell of old books and seeing notes on the edges of the page and highlighted areas, words and phrases that meant something to someone else. The crunch of fall leaves. I love raw and honest conversations that can catch two people off guard and the intimacy that occurs in those moments. I love being surprised, spontaneous, risky and feeling safe in someone’s arms. I love “heat,” the crackling sounds and smells that come from a wood stove. I love to feel challenged mentally and physically. I love to surprise others! I love blankets. Soft thick heavy blankets and being buried underneath them. I love getting dressed up every once in a while. But I can’t beat my love for yoga pants, Hudson jeans, and perfectly worn out sweatshirts. I love writing. I love words. But I do not like texts because things get complicated,