tiada stigma di sini yee

salam

recently i've been reading quite a number a blog.maybe sebab ramai yang update blog.that induce me untuk update blog jugak.aduiii~

just wanted to share pasal my current posting dekat hospital psychiatric AKA hospital sakit mental.it gonna be a long story (;

ohh isnin insyaAllah ada posting exam, dan saya masih lagi berkemahuan nak berblog.adui lagi

dah almost 6 weeks saya berposting di hospital mesra bukit padang.i think it is the only psychiatric hospital in sabah.

the most interesting thing in this posting, part nak clerk patient.
dalam erti kata lain, nak interview patient why they come here, what they suffered from etc.

i always looking forward nak clerk patient, especially patient lelaki.tiada unsur gatal di situ yaa.

i still can remember the moment i clerk them.bukan i laa, we.sebab takkan berani waa nak clerk patient lelaki sorang-sorang.even nak clerk patient perempuan sorang-sorang pun saya fikir dua kali.
atas alasan tertentu, kami dinasihatkan berhati-hati time clerk patient, especially patient lelaki.
ohh tak sanggup nak fikir apa yang mungkin boleh terjadi, nauzubillah, mintak dijauhkan laa.
they like to shake hands, siap cium tangan lagi tauu.sabo jelaaa~

the first day i entered this posting, stigma masih lagi 'tinggi'.dorang ni orang sakit mental kot.kalau kita jumpa orang gila tepi jalan, for sure kita akan jadi takut.kunci pintu kereta laaa, avoid lalu dekat dorang laaa.
tapi bila dah banyak kali clerk patient, pergi join clinic MO.seriously, my stigma towards them dah berkurang.mereka just kurang bernasib baik, to have this illness.

one uncle ni, he cried infront of us.his wife died due to some kind of cancer which i cant remembered what cancer it is.after the event, he started to become manic.everytime we mention the word 'wife', he started to cry.sayang sangat kat bini dia.and he keep mentioning, that his illness can happen to anyone.it is just a matter of time. and i agreed with him.everyone ada possibility nak develop mental illness, if cannot really cope with stress.

ada yang asyik relapse jee.keep coming back to the hospital sebab poor family support.not compliance to medication, asyik takmau makan ubat.ada yang dah berpuluh-puluh tahun di hospital, takde siapa nak jaga kalau mereka keluar hospital

antara case paling common dekat sini, is schizophrenia and also bipolar mood disorder.
schizophrenia, atau dalam bahasa kampung dia, sakit mental (gila).dorang lagi prefer kita panggil schizophrenia daripada panggil dorang orang gila padahal maksud dia sama jee pun.just because of the stigma.
and i usually i cant stop laughing everytime i clerk them. tapi pandai2 cover laa kang kecik pulak hati pesakit tuu.dalam gelak2 tu, ambil jugak laa pengajaran from their stories.selalunya memang tak lari laa dari masalah keluarga bercerai berai, berpisah dan masalah social dan yang paling common disebabkan oleh dadah.
mungkin ada yang taktau, dadah can make you crazy you know!
most of the time, they have delusions.delusions tu macam perkara pelik yang dorang percaya.let say for example, they believes that they are the sons of the god.
banyak jugak case yang related to religious belief.boleh nampak jesus laa, boleh nampak wali laaa etc which we know its never gonna be true.
ada sorang abang tu, dia percaya yang dia kebal.then, he stabbed himself dua kali.alamat masuk hospital laa lepas tu.ada yang percaya that dia ada cincin yang boleh keluarkan naga.and that dragon can fight with the ghost.aduii kelakar!

or bipolar mood disorder.they tend to have two personalities.takdelaa personality sangat.one time dia akan jadi normal.and let say dia stress, then he become manic.ataupun jadi mania.when they became manic, they will be very talkative, tidur 2jam sehari pun relax jee, suka berbelanja, berpakaian pelik-pelik, tiba-tiba terover make up etc.kalau clerk patient time dorang tengah manic, jangan harap laa nak interrupt cerita dorang.sebab in schizophrenia patient, korang akan susah sikit nak dapatkan jawapan since dorang tak berapa rational.but when they are manic, they can talk everything and they talk a lot!siap ada yang bagi tips lagi how to santau orang to make love with them.double adoii~~


ohh i have to get back to study.doakan saya (;

homesick );

alhamdulillah

silalah carik nama saya, nama saya 'aisyah binti khalil btw

alhamdulillah, syukur tak terkata bila dapat result.semua passed the exam. the result came out a day after we finised our exam. thanks to all for the wishes, support and doa. we have a loooooongg holiday before we started our 4th year.

so, welcome to 4th year ! (:

*satu tanggungjawab dan amanah yang besar menanti ku di 4th year.insyaAllah saya akan laksanakan sebaik mungkin

oh im gonna miss sandakan

aku ada dalam almost 29 hari lagi di sandakan ni.

my first impression of sandakan was like' iyekk.apasal buruk sangat sandakan ni.nak carik kedai makan pun susah.shopping complex pun takde.paling up pun ade giant jeee' (sorry, sound very kasar di situ).

tapi itulah hakikat nyee.orang cakap jaoh perjalanan luas pemandangan. 'pemandangan' tentang manusia di tempat baru. how they live.lifestyle dorang macam mane.

fyi dekat sandakan ni memang banyak pendatang asing especially dari Philippine and indonesia.maybe sebab dekat kot.ohh dah melalut di situ sebab actually aku nak cerita pasal why im gonna miss sandakan.more specifically why im gonna miss sandakan's hospital aka hospital dutchess of kent HDOK(nama nak hot aje ;D)


satu tempat yang aku selalu pergi hospital lah of course like almost every day ada kelas dekat situ kan. banyak benda dah aku belajar dan banyak benda dah aku tengok.besides the medical knowledge that we supposed to know, there are a lot yeee a lot of things that i learn about life.

how you ingat mati everytime you see patient 'expired'. how you feel pity when you see the patient was severly ill, intubated bagai. how you realized the consequences sebab banyak sangat smoking. it is all about life kan.how valuable life is

recently, aku macam rajin sikit 'melepak' dekat A&E (accident and emergency department). since that banyak sangat cuti christmas lahh, new year lahh.ape lah sangat kalau nak pergi 'melepak' dekat A&E tu.banyak benda lahh jugak yang aku belajar dekat sini.since kitorang suka datang time malam ala2 oncall macam tu, so macam kurang busy skit lahhh. datang pukul 9pm balek pukol 7am.and sometimes kitorang pilih hari nak datang.agak2 macam akan ramai patient datang sebab drunken or accident, so that day lah kitorang datang. agak kejam and selfish di situ.

fyi dekat sini walaupun mereka orang islam, tapi some of them still drink alcohol bertatoo bagai.tak pelik kalau orang islam macam tu dekat sini.maybe sebab memang ramai christian kan sini so dorang pun dah 'tercampor-adok'. malam new year tu, which was baru je beberapa hari ni, like almost of the patients came because of accident. drunken driver.sengal

oh one thing, i had a chance to be in the ambulance team pergi accident site.on the way tu, i was so excited yelahh first time kan naik ambulance as the medical team. tapi bila sampai sana je aku jadi blur dont know what to do.actually team aku tu pick up patient je since the first time already 'settle down' the accident site before.

and lots of other experiences yang aku dapat since aku bertapa dekat hospital ni like almost 5 months.tu belum cerita lagi pasal how aku sambut baby. tu belum cerita lagi pasal aku tengok berapa banyak baby cleft palate.tu belum cerita lagi pasal aku assist operation.tu belum cerita lagi pasal aku tengok budak 15 tahun beranak.banyak sangat benda menarik aku nak cerita.kalau nak bukak cerita pasal tu macam jawabnya tak study lahhh aku sekejap lagi.


actually rasa macam taknak pulak berpisah dengan doktor2 dekat sini.especially those HOs yang baik je dengan student and always teach us.siap ada yang belanja makan pizza hut lagi.ajak datang rumah bagai. those MA yang selalu bagi peluang to us to do the procedures.yang ajak aku join ambulance team. all those people really made my life memorable. tapi berpisah memang dah jadi lumrah hidup kan. thanks to Allah that make me meet all these awesome people ;DD


before aku jadi bertambah emo, i better end my story here.hehe.story lahh sangat. apa pun, this is part of my life story and i hope its gonna be more exciting as the time pass by.im getting more interested in this field.i never regret that i choose this medical field.



p/s; tersemangat pulak bila jumpa sorang MA sabah tapi boleh cakap kl.rindu nak borak2 dengan style kl.tak sama okeh orang kl cakap style kl dengan orang semenanjung cakap bahasa semenanjung walaupun basically it is the same thing.kan style kl ada words stylo2 skit.lol

meyesal

rasanya perasaan menyesal memang akan ada dalam almost everything yang kita buat

antara perkara common yang berlaku dalam hidup aku;


'aduh.menyesal aku tidur 8jam.kan dah takde masa nak study'

'aduh.menyesal aku tengok movie tu.dah laaa tak best.buang masa je.baik aku study tadi'

'aduh.menyesal aku datang hospital sebab hospital lenggang je takde patient'



kadang kadang memang aku tak cakap tapi dengan automatiknya terdetik perasaaan menyesal tu dihati, walaupun sedikit. tapi apapun aku cuba nak ikhlas kan hati atau tak terlalu memikirkan betapa menyesalnya aku.tak ke macam tak bersyukur namanya tu. rasanya kan memang dah tertulis dalam 'diari' hidup kita yang ditulis Allah. everything happens for a reason.


hope i can be a better person this year.nak 22 years old dahh oii.should be dah beranak 2 dah pun.haha





p/s: aku rasa macam aku dah jadi sedikit serious.

m

sedar tak sedar dah hampir 5 bulan aku dekat bumi sandakan.dan dah 5 bulan jugaklah aku dah menempuh alam berclinical di Hosp Dutches of Kent. sangat menarik hidup. rasa nak duduk hospital tiap2 hari pun ada.hahaha. banyak benda menarik yang boleh diceritakan tapi macam tak larat je nak cerita semua. okayy bye sebab aku nak tidurr ;DD

yeayyyyy

yeayyy alhamdulillah aku tengah super excited sebab



im going back home in 3 weeks time !!!



pukul 12 tengah malam daddy call tanya cuti bila.actually aku tak decide pun nak balek since tiket oii mak kau mahal nye janggg





p/s: thank you babahhh. (kecik dari 3)

besok hari baru

alhamdulillah setelah seminggu cuti (oh bestnye cuti), besok mula posting baru. kan best kalau rasa macam zaman sekolah dulu2.bila nak start sekolah balik mesti beli semua bende baru kan. kalau boleh semua benda yang baru beli tu nak pakai waktu first dayy. baju and kasut baru tu of course lahh ade every year.except for bila dah form 4 or form 5 bila rasa kasut baru yang putih macam bedak baby tu TAK COOL.haha. mesti eksited nak jumpa geng2 balek bila dah 2 bulan cuti akhir tahun tu kann. malam isnin tu dahh start iron baju.semangat betul.

tapi itu semua dulu.macam mana pun.semangat nak belajar masih ade dan hopefully semakin berkobar-kobar.heeee ;DD.oh jangan lupa doakanlahh saya yeee ;DDD