venting christmas music*

It'd be dumb to start this out with "well christmas is almost here" becuase you know that-im sure. Christmas is a great time to me but I"ll admit I hate christmas music, not the music that celebrates jesus' birth but the snowman, santa, weather, jingle bells stuff. the only day i can handle it is on christmas eve n day. other then that i dont understand why we listen to christmas music the WHOLE month of december!!!! we dont listen to turkeys gobble the whole month of november so why must every radio station torcher me with jolly by golly music about good ol santa for THIRTY DAYS???

oh what a week

whoa...what a busy couple of days I've had, remember when I said I don't have a life...little tip never say that! I basically cursed myself to make life more complicated.

To start off my cat chewed her foot off! So I had to take her to the vet...400 buckaroonies later and she is all ok. side note that money came outta my college fund....sad but it came down to two weeks worth of pay checks or a life. So with this dang conscience that I have I saved the kitty!

Next? oh yes there is more...I quit my fitness center job...why? Because they grrrrrr just thinking about it makes me mad! Basically Todd the dummy I work with NEVER actually works. But I do my best everyday every week yet somehow I am constantly the one that is yelled at. So last week I wasn't feeling well but still went to work and did the normal stuff lazily-is that a word? while telling the vacuum and myself how dumb it is that I work hard and Todd doesn't. so I went behind the desk like every other day for a hour and a half. But I had my lab top and was writing a letter for my young singles committee calling. Well the boss came in at that moment and was fearous...ugh...and from there it went down hill. I blame the vacuum.Ü

So now I have five applications from round town to fill out-yay...just kidding.

do you ever feel like your life goes in cycles like everything goes fabulous for a long time and then you blink and everything is suddenly wrong. I'm in that suddenly wrong stage and stuck wondering how long this one will last...

What's wrong with me if I know my Heavenly Father lives, loves me, and listens to my prayers but I cant seem to get this stubborn body down to my knees and pray my heart out!!!

Public confession sometimes does the trick.

I pray in my heart about little things, I thank the Lord anything good happens to me, I ask God to bless those I love, I pray for safety in my HEART but not out loud by my self. Lack of faith, or I suppose as I just realize-Pride- it is my new enemy.

Goodness.....

Today after hitting the snooze button every five mins or so i sorda slept until 10:00which is nothing new to me, but it is the first time in a long time that mom hasn't gotten mad about it! So my day started out well then I went to see one of my puppies!!!!! it was sooooooooooooo much fun to see her again. Her old name was Rollie Ollie because she was alot like her mom-Tootsie. so Tootsie "roll"- hope that makes sense. Her new name is Allison because if Collin woulda been a girl that was gonna be his name. Which is really funny. She is living a great life its just her and Collin in the house. He's 25 and has his own house which is amazing. When he had called me the other day to come see her, i had told him that i work at the fitness center in milaca. Then he tells me that one of the guys that work here is a registered sex affendor.....yeah.....freaky/disgusting! So now I am at the fitness center eatting chocolate frosting!!!

wow i know this is not that exciting...not much happens to me when my only life is as a burger-server and sweat-picker-uper.....Just saving money like a squirrel getting ready for winter!

diagnosis mystery

yup that's me! Or most of me I guess. So Ma n' I went to Dr. Slougssours (hes the doc that said I have mild cerebral palsy) I don't want this post to be about everything that's wrong with me but for the next few sentences be prepared.

he said that hes been studying it for the past few months and found that baby's with CP when you scare or startle them they over react and their body's go into small convulsions. And he asked me if I get scared easily.......for anyone that knows me they might describe scaring me as a favorite past time. I on the other hand don't find it as amusing. So of course I answered that with an of course. His next question was with being cold... I am cold 99% of the time. Then why do I live in Minnesota? I blame Emma. For normal people being cold is something that they live with and they wear coats, I could ask a polar bear for his coat and still be cold. With being cold it actually hurts my muscles. He also brought up another thing and that was with flashing lights and loud repetitive noises. Think casinos. They make me faint/close to it. He describe to me that all things happen because I have hypersensitive sensors. due to traumatic birth. Which mine was. Any how it cleared up alota things that I thought were weird with me! And now I know why-and so do you!

So this post was for any of you who are interested! or were!

And pretty sure the "few" sentences I had intended became a whole book!

BUT how did today go...well I have driven myself crazy! hows that for awesome!? I woke up at 5:30 in order to take josh to seminary, slept in the car while i waited, took him to school, came home and went back to bed, set my alarm for 9:30, 10:25, 11:00, then realizing that I could kill the person who invented the snooze button, it rolled around to be 11:30-the time I shoulda been "rolling" outta the driveway for work at 12:00... rushed down stairs with only one sock on, natural hair, and un-brushed teeth. oh what a sight!! then to find the P.T. saying to me...Bethany if you can't get up and start your day then neither will I! So I cried.....still hating with passion the man that invented the snooze button. the rain took care of my hideous natural hair by drenching it completely. cold wet and mad at the PT...I climbed back into bed until 2:00! after that decided to clean the house. Josh finally came home and I decided to shower for the sake of the world. Drove Josh to church where he did a pancake challenge of four humongous pancakes in one hour. Josh I'm sadly and disgustingly proud to say was the only one who finished the challenge. Elder Pool was close with one bite to go...then threw up on his plate....so he lost. Josh was beaming with pride/sickness when he received hes free shirt! woot for Josh!

Life goes on

Been long enough? yup! But all things aside my life at 18 is going swell! Here are all the things that have changed since the last time:
I got a second job
Got rid of the bed on the floor and got a futon-?sp
Went to Utah for Laurens sweet lil baby
Working hard to save for college at BYUI
Had ten BEAUTIFUL ivory lab puppys!!!
Sold all ten puppys and cried alot!
Going to institute and loving it
Got my licence as of yesterday!
Bought a lab top yesterday for 300 for school

and that's it...I think!

my goal is to be like my big sister Emma and do this on a regular basis....we will see how that goes. I used to be really really good at writing in a journal. In my opinion there should be a rule for girls under the age of 12 NOT to write a journal....or just to NEVER read them again! I had to have been the biggest drama queen in the world! And thinking that every boy I liked was perfect..ew. So where are all those gag-worthy entry's? Ripped n burned! In reality I was ashamed to read most of them...Really pathetic is what they were.

As for family life right now....mom and I are really close, partly because we spend the most time together or atleast we have been. Mom said she sees me more then dad! And dad is good, discouraged but good. I have this strong impression to make my parents happy. Like really really happy. Like mom when she hears a song shes not heard in forever or dad when hes talking about family history or painting. I want them to be able to have hobbies, because life hast to be more for them then taking care of two kids at home. If your thinking that I shouldn't be worried about this, then your like alota people I explain this deep concern for. But I know that its important. I wish there was something I could do.

And my job life right now...

started up McDonald's again bout four weeks ago...and already a few of the managers are driving me insane! grrr and sitting here thinking about it i think the reason is because they're life IS McDonald's...which is fine but its not my life-its my job. So the next time you are in McDonald's and you feel like you've been waiting FOREVER for your double quarter pounder no mustard large fry and drink.....CHILL. and enjoy the next 50 seconds that your body is that much less fat! k!
The fitness center is way better then McDonald's in alotta areas. Course theres always ups and downs in a job. And when its your job it always seems to be the worst job in the world when really its not. But at the fc(fitness center) I do ALL the cleaning of machines, bathrooms, floors, pool, womens area, hallways, mirrors, and every other nook and cranny of that building! with i might add ONLY PINE SOL!!!! grrrr unless of course I sneak in other cleaning supplies pathetic I know! I also sign people up for memberships, guest, and show the apartments when my manager doesn't have the oompf to do it herself. All in all its an ok job. Creepy people come and go...and some come and stay because they live out of their car!
STORY Last Saturday I was swimming with my friends and we were in the hot tub when this dude came from the pool to talk to only me. Casually talking at first he asked where I was from, where I work, and my name....not till the point when a bald man of 40+ asked me to "hang out" tonight did I finally realize that my happy world of no nastys like him live...did indeed live. I laughed and said haha uhhhh I dont think so. Pause. first you must know what this man looks like to get a picture of the creepiness of the situation. tall, bald, with indents of designs carved into his head, tattoos everywhere, fewer teeth then his already few brain cells, light blue blood shot eyes that bulged out, two kids, and a sense about him that said "Ive worn a black and white striped suit in my days-and we arnt talkin zebras!" ok anyone in their right mind is saying...ahhhh. ok now you know. so I have only a rapidly deflating pink tube that Ive managed to cover any skin that shows with a swimming suit on! But that doesn't seem to work...so I try to keep away from him and avoid conversation but the questions keep coming. by this time Ive told him that I'm 18. AT THIS POINT HE SHOULDA BEEN GONE! then as time goes by he has me in a little corner of the pool with his nasty arms open....says I should come with him. (puking in my mind and praying to heaven that I am saved!) I lie and say I have a boyfriend. He says well he can come too and panicing I said uhhhh he cant....he doesn't live in America.....dumb! dumb! dumb......it took a good hour to get rid of him after that. but eventually did and was safe and sound in a different fully blown up tube!
so this story should teach you to stay away from the fc pool on saturdays...... phew!

well thats all for me tonight i have to wake up in the morning to take josh to seminary...who ever invented mornings....why?????

organizing pictures

For my while my sisters were here I wanted to get ALL the pictures out and organize them into years. We got alot done, and I'm grateful that we got it done.