dad

For whatever reason I have kept this blog very impersonal, but I’ve recently been inspired to wax a little personal. Something happened to me about 2 years and 2 months ago that changed my life forever; fatherhood. I am now the father of two beautiful little girls; Noelle – 2.2 years and Chloe – 4 months. Oddly the first emotions I felt when Noelle was born were; first an indescribable feeling of love and devotion followed closely by the heavy weight of responsibility. I thought “who am I to raise and teach one of God’s children and can I really be trusted with such an awesome responsibility.” The answer to that question came immediately after I thunked it. I am as qualified as the next guy and all that matters is what I do from this moment forward and I committed there and then to be the best father in the world. Probably not a unique reaction to becoming a father but surprising to me.
I have now been a father for over two years, a veteran if you will, and I have had a few surprising revelations. The first of these is that having pee on my hand does not bother me a bit (poop is another matter) the second is the immense lack of purpose I must have had before I became a Father. I have always been a pretty happy guy but I now realize that I never knew true joy. Joy is padding feet and a high screech as Noelle runs to greet me after a long business trip. Happiness is a small grin and bright eyes as I get Chloe out of her car seat. I use to think a good wave and a cold soda on a hot day fulfilled these needs but I was sorely mistaken. Life without offspring is left wanting.
Here is an anecdotal moment from the day in the life of a father. This morning I noticed Noelle was walking a little bow-legged so I asked her if she went pee in her panties, she said, “yeah, wanna see?, come on daddy , I show you!” She then grabbed my finger and drug me downstairs to proudly show me a wet puddle on our carpet. The funny part of the whole exchange was when she called me Daddy I corrected her and said, “Not Daddy Noelle, call me Abe.” - For the last several months Noelle has been calling me Abe instead of Daddy and I’ve been trying to correct her because in public everyone thinks I’m the boyfriend or babysitter. I quickly tried to correct myself and said "no, you're right its Daddy not Abe. She looked at me with a confused expression and said "... Abe, come on."

home

A decade has past and at last I've returned. Everyone has a city where they feel most at home, a place that fits them so well that they feel a loss when they are away. I lived here for a short time ten years ago and have been trying to find a replacement ever since. After 3 years in Utah I moved to Huntington Beach for a time, sure there's a beach and an ocean but between the tattoos and tourists I couldn't find my space. Newport was closer but still too many rockstars, roller blades and a ridiculous lack of parking space. I got married and we moved inland a bit; first Aliso Viejo and then we left the cool ocean breezes behind and moved to Rancho Santa Margarita, a great town for a young couple with a young family but still not quite home. In the last ten years I've lived in ten different houses in eight different cities and I finally feel at home again. I hope I'm here to stay.

my house just got a little smaller

I got a new TV for christmas. I waited in line at Circuit City for 6 hours starting at 5am to get it. When I got it home I was bummed because; a- it was not worth the wait and b- I felt white trash for having an 1,100 sqft house and a 46" TV (it is bigger than our kitchen). Instead of doing the reasonable thing and returning it I kept it and started looking for a bigger house.

Mitt Romney or Your Mom

I think I like politics for the same reason I liked skateboarding as a teenager; I enjoy being frustrated. I have followed the presidential primaries a little too closely this last year so I feel compelled to take some time to write about my own opinions to even out all the time I have wasted listening to the opinions of others.

In full disclosure a large part of the reason I took interest in Mitt Romney’s campaign is because we share the same religion. I think it is a valid reason to support someone as long as they also share secular ideologies. I am a registered independent because I am adamantly against the two-party system. If we had a stronger third or fourth party there would be a lot less pandering and a lot more honesty in politics. Even beyond that I am convinced that no political party should be involved in a presidential nomination. The office of President is meant to be held by an individual not a political party. Our country needs a president that is not aligned or committed to any particular party so he can stand on his own merits and judgment and not those of his political party. I’ll make my point before I digress further into my anti partisan gibber jabber. Election time is not a time for Americans to be polarized or separated. It is a time when Americans should be united in a great cause; sorting through the rabble that our political systems offers us and finding the candidate that is the least likely to screw up this great nation. (I will try to make that my last pessimistic remark, pessimism is too easy).

Now here is a quick summary of why I’m voting for Romney and why I’m not voting for the other leading politicians:

Why Romney: Here are my top 5 reasons: 1. When I listen to him I hear sincerity in his voice. He is a politician and he plays political games but beyond that I think he has sincere intentions. 2. He can lead; he has proven his leadership abilities in both the private and political arenas. 3. He can succeed: In the U.S. success is measured in dollars and he has more of them than any other candidate. Being rich should not be a crutch for him; we are a capitalist society and we are more likely to remain that way if Mitt Romney is elected. 4. He seems to be a man of good character, something that is lacking in many politicians. 5. I have yet to hear any “Washington Insider” in the media say anything positive about him, this is a plus in my book, we need someone who will stir up the pot not meld to it.

Why not Giuliani: His personal life has to come into play in my decision because character is as important as any other presidential trait. The facts that his children don’t back him and he was unfaithful to his wife gives me reason to question his character. He has had some great achievements in his life but none that make him more qualified than Romney and his social views are not in sync with mine.

Why not Hillary: I think it would be a waste of cyberspace to answer that question but I will simply say I don’t see anything on her resume that qualifies her to “fix Washington”.

Why not Obama: I think Obama is the most sincere Candidate on the Democratic ticket. I think he has strong principals that outweigh his ambition. I think he has good leadership skill and the ability to motivate others; however I can't vote for him because I disagree with him on almost every issue and don’t believe he is a capitalist

Why not Huckabee: I will be honestly shallow here – every time I look at him all I can see is Gomer Pile in a suit. I have a difficult time seeing Gomer Pile leading the free world. He seems like a pretty good guy but I don’t think he has the fiscal know how to run a business or a country.

Why not McCain: McCain comes in close second for me, however his biggest achievement happens to be his biggest liability in my eyes which is the number of years he has spent in Washington. All pessimism aside I truly believe Washington corrupts or at the very least deteriorates a person’s judgment. I think it is important to have a president with as few Washington “contacts” as possible.

That's what I think.

I'm gonna give this another try.

It has been over five months but I'm going to attempt a come back. I don't have an excuse for my hiatus except for the lack of that 25th hour in a day. I sometimes wonder why God didn't give us that extra hour. 25 seems like such a better number then 24. I understand that it doesn't divide easily but we could all pretend there were 24 hours and then use the 25th one to catch up on stuff. I don't have much to say but I'm going to brainstorm and hopefully come up with something clever.

i found my soul in rock n roll

Sometimes you don't realize that something is missing until you find it.

I love music, I like classic rock, hard rock, soft rock, punk rock, even emotionally independant rock. I like hip hop, rap, house, techno and if Johnny Cash is country then I like that too. But something happened. I don't know exactly when or why but I stopped listening to music.

I spend most of my work week sitting in traffic or on airplanes which gives me plenty of time to listen to my old favs and keep up on what's new, then a year and a half ago I got XM and Audible. Since then audio books and talk radio have come to consume my world, until last week. I was reaching for the XM button when my finger slipped to M1 where Johnny Ramone was hammering out the chorus to Needles and Pins and I realized what I have been missing. The emotion and inspiration found in music can not be matched by other mediums. Jared Diamond's exhastive exposé on the social dynamics of the Inuit is no match for Mike Diamond's 2.5 minute exploration of sexism among America's youth.

This is a confessional more then anything else. I feel guilty for letting such a large part of me slip away, I can't remember the last time I learned a new song on the guitar or bought a new CD. But tomorrow is a new day...

Who do they think they are?

I'm tired of people complaining about how overly conservative BYU is. I am BYU Alumni and while I was a student I did my fair share of complaining; but I am older and wiser now and I am embarrassed for some of my short sited criticisms. The fact of the matter is, BYU is a private school and has the right to make any restrictions or standards that it sees fit especially since its tuition is only $1,810 per semester for members and $3,620 for non LDS members. (USC tuition is $14,994/semester, UC Berkeley is $3,899/semester for residents and $13,241/semester for nonresidents.) If you don't like or do not want to live by the standards then transfer somewhere else. If you do/did attend somewhere else then you have nothing to complain about and your criticisms are petty and make you appear insecure about your own college education.

Another quick point I’d like to make is, from my experience, BYU's student body is much more conservative then its faculty. Any “liberal” BYU students must understand that if they are hoping to affect change it’s going to be an extremely up hill battle. I know this seems like a “no duh” blog but I think there are way more BYU haters then there needs to be.