Music ~ Be Still My Soul

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I’ve been listening to this hymn a lot this week. This is a beautiful rendition of this beautiful hymn. Here is another beautiful rendition by the Mount Royal Kantorei. And here is a beautiful instrumental rendition by William Joseph and Zack Clark. There are many others, but these are the three I’ve listened to most. The lyrics below aren’t the exact same in each of these pieces, but they’re close.

I’m humbled by the very first line: Be still, my soul, the Lord is on your side. That has brought me immense comfort this week.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to your God to order and provide; In ev’ry change He faithful will remain. So very powerful. May the hymn and the words wash over you with the same peace and comfort they’ve washed over me.

Be Still My Soul

1. Be still, my soul! the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul! your best, your heav’nly friend
Thru’ thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul! your God does undertake
To guide the future as he has the past;
Your hope, your confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he lived below.

3. Be still, my soul! when dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shall you better know his love, his heart,
Who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears.
Be still, my soul! your Jesus can repay
From his own fullness all he takes away.

4. Be still, my soul! the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still my soul! when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Source: Hymns and Devotions for Daily Worship #337c

Mordecai – For Such A Time As This

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5 At that time there was a Jewish man in the fortress of Susa whose name was Mordecai son of Jair. He was from the tribe of Benjamin and was a descendant of Kish and Shimei. 6 His family[a] had been among those who, with King Jehoiachin[b] of Judah, had been exiled from Jerusalem to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. 7 This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.

Esther 2:5-7

I’ve continued to ponder in Esther since Purim; it’s a fascinating book, fascinating story. Amazing. Miraculous. Powerful. The part that Mordecai played in Esther’s life cannot be separated from who she was when she went before the king.

8 As a result of the king’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the king’s harem at the fortress of Susa and placed in Hegai’s care. 9 Hegai was very impressed with Esther and treated her kindly. He quickly ordered a special menu for her and provided her with beauty treatments. He also assigned her seven maids specially chosen from the king’s palace, and he moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem. 10 Esther had not told anyone of her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had directed her not to do so.

Esther 2:8-10

So great was her love and affection and respect for Mordecai that she obeyed him long after he gave her instruction. He said, so she did. Simple, yes. But also complex. She did not obey him out of fear; there is no fear towards Mordecai in Esther. There is only devotion and respect and trust. She trusts him.

11 Every day Mordecai would take a walk near the courtyard of the harem to find out about Esther and what was happening to her.

Esther 2:11

She trusts him because she knows he cares for her and protects her to the best of his ability. I’ve pondered what that would look like, what it would feel like, and I truly cannot imagine. What would it be like to grow up in a home with a father/father figure who instilled great security and trust and respect and love? Some of you know what that’s like; I do not. In the void of that security and trust and respect and love, fear and anxiety and chaos were planted. Certainly no trust or devotion or respect. No safety.

But God needed Esther to have that foundation of love and security and trust and respect … for such a time as this.

When Mordecai learned about all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on burlap and ashes, and went out into the city, crying with a loud and bitter wail. 2 He went as far as the gate of the palace, for no one was allowed to enter the palace gate while wearing clothes of mourning. 3 And as news of the king’s decree reached all the provinces, there was great mourning among the Jews. They fasted, wept, and wailed, and many people lay in burlap and ashes. 4 When Queen Esther’s maids and eunuchs came and told her about Mordecai, she was deeply distressed. She sent clothing to him to replace the burlap, but he refused it. 5 Then Esther sent for Hathach, one of the king’s eunuchs who had been appointed as her attendant. She ordered him to go to Mordecai and find out what was troubling him and why he was in mourning. 6 So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the square in front of the palace gate. 7 Mordecai told him the whole story, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. 8 Mordecai gave Hathach a copy of the decree issued in Susa that called for the death of all Jews. He asked Hathach to show it to Esther and explain the situation to her. He also asked Hathach to direct her to go to the king to beg for mercy and plead for her people. 9 So Hathach returned to Esther with Mordecai’s message. 10 Then Esther told Hathach to go back and relay this message to Mordecai: 11 “All the king’s officials and even the people in the provinces know that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days.” 12 So Hathach[a] gave Esther’s message to Mordecai. 13 Mordecai sent this reply to Esther: “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. 14 If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”

Esther 4:1-14

Five years have passed since Esther was crowned Queen. Five years since Mordecai instructed Esther not to tell anyone of her heritage, and she has continued to honor Mordecai. That’s quite a long time. Chapters 2 and 3 tell more of the story of Mordecai, and they’re worth the few minutes to read. A person in authority knows when to draw the hard line. To speak the Truth in a firm and somewhat harsh way, and this is where Mordecai is at the end of this narrative. The Truth is harsh, and that required him to be very blunt and firm with Esther. And Esther’s reply?

15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 “Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die.” 17 So Mordecai went away and did everything as Esther had ordered him. Esther 4:15-17

Because of Mordecai, Esther was prepared for such a time as this. I lament not having a father or father figure growing up who would give me the beautiful foundation and security that Mordecai gave to Esther. As I was pondering this on the way home from work today while battling the demons from my earthly father, I realized that my background prepared me for something different, and that my such a time as this needs the background I came from. I don’t like that. I weep for the little girl who was raised in such a home with a father and a mother who did the things they did and continue to do her. I long for and crave the security and love that Mordecai gave Esther. The pain consumes me sometimes; the war is fierce and the battles often relentless. But they put me in places the Esther’s of this world will never go. May I be found faithful.

What We Hear and Who We Follow

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It’s been awhile since I read the book of Esther, so I’m enjoying reading it again during this season of Purim. I read and pondered the first chapter this morning. A celebration lasting 180 days for all his nobles and officials and all the military officers? If everyone was partying, who was running the 127 provinces during this time?! I’m sure he had it covered, but … I think I would grow weary of celebrating for 180 days 🙂 . His display of wealth and power is very impressive.

I’m not going to get into Queen Vashti and the decision she made to not become an object to a bunch of drunk men. However I’ve found it interesting when I’ve read in the Bible how many times it says that people shared information by word of mouth. “18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did...” Current media does transfer information quickly, but that’s pretty impressive.

The other thing that really stood out to me is how powerfully the decisions of those in power affect the general population. This has always been true. People are greatly influenced. So this begs the question … what do I allow to influence me? What do you allow to influence you? I enjoy listening to In the Market with Janet Parshall when I’m driving home from work sometimes, and she often says we should approach current events with the Bible in one hand and the news in the other. In other words, filter everything through the Bible. “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.” Isaiah 53:6. We are often compared to sheep in the Bible, mindlessly following. May we choose to follow Jesus. May we filter everything we see and read and hear through the Truth of God’s Holy Word. 13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell[f] is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:13-14. May we choose the difficult and very narrow path that leads to life.

These events happened in the days of King Xerxes,[a] who reigned over 127 provinces stretching from India to Ethiopia.[b] 2 At that time Xerxes ruled his empire from his royal throne at the fortress of Susa. 3 In the third year of his reign, he gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. He invited all the military officers of Persia and Media as well as the princes and nobles of the provinces. 4 The celebration lasted 180 days—a tremendous display of the opulent wealth of his empire and the pomp and splendor of his majesty. 5 When it was all over, the king gave a banquet for all the people, from the greatest to the least, who were in the fortress of Susa. It lasted for seven days and was held in the courtyard of the palace garden. 6 The courtyard was beautifully decorated with white cotton curtains and blue hangings, which were fastened with white linen cords and purple ribbons to silver rings embedded in marble pillars. Gold and silver couches stood on a mosaic pavement of porphyry, marble, mother-of-pearl, and other costly stones. 7 Drinks were served in gold goblets of many designs, and there was an abundance of royal wine, reflecting the king’s generosity. 8 By edict of the king, no limits were placed on the drinking, for the king had instructed all his palace officials to serve each man as much as he wanted. 9 At the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes. 10 On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas— 11 to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. 12 But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come. This made the king furious, and he burned with anger. 13 He immediately consulted with his wise advisers, who knew all the Persian laws and customs, for he always asked their advice. 14 The names of these men were Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan—seven nobles of Persia and Media. They met with the king regularly and held the highest positions in the empire. 15 “What must be done to Queen Vashti?” the king demanded. “What penalty does the law provide for a queen who refuses to obey the king’s orders, properly sent through his eunuchs?” 16 Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. 17 Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. 18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger. 19 “So if it please the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she. 20 When this decree is published throughout the king’s vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives!” 21 The king and his nobles thought this made good sense, so he followed Memucan’s counsel. 22 He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.[c] Esther chapter 1, NLT

Purim and Esther

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In honor of Purim, I thought I’d share chapter 9 of the book of Esther. It is so powerful to me that these events happened somewhere around 483-473 BC, and this great holiday is still celebrated today. There is much hope in this story as it tells of the power of our Holy God. The process through which God saved His people was meticulous and detailed, and it was a process. And that’s how God works throughout the Bible. He is meticulous. He is detailed. He works in process. He is continuously in full control. And He is always All-Powerful. Evil is never in full control; God is.

So on March 7[a] the two decrees of the king were put into effect. On that day, the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but quite the opposite happened. It was the Jews who overpowered their enemies. 2 The Jews gathered in their cities throughout all the king’s provinces to attack anyone who tried to harm them. But no one could make a stand against them, for everyone was afraid of them. 3 And all the nobles of the provinces, the highest officers, the governors, and the royal officials helped the Jews for fear of Mordecai. 4 For Mordecai had been promoted in the king’s palace, and his fame spread throughout all the provinces as he became more and more powerful. 5 So the Jews went ahead on the appointed day and struck down their enemies with the sword. They killed and annihilated their enemies and did as they pleased with those who hated them. 6 In the fortress of Susa itself, the Jews killed 500 men. 7 They also killed Parshandatha, Dalphon, Aspatha, 8 Poratha, Adalia, Aridatha, 9 Parmashta, Arisai, Aridai, and Vaizatha— 10 the ten sons of Haman son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews. But they did not take any plunder. 11 That very day, when the king was informed of the number of people killed in the fortress of Susa, 12 he called for Queen Esther. He said, “The Jews have killed 500 men in the fortress of Susa alone, as well as Haman’s ten sons. If they have done that here, what has happened in the rest of the provinces? But now, what more do you want? It will be granted to you; tell me and I will do it.” 13 Esther responded, “If it please the king, give the Jews in Susa permission to do again tomorrow as they have done today, and let the bodies of Haman’s ten sons be impaled on a pole.” 14 So the king agreed, and the decree was announced in Susa. And they impaled the bodies of Haman’s ten sons. 15 Then the Jews at Susa gathered together on March 8[b] and killed 300 more men, and again they took no plunder. 16 Meanwhile, the other Jews throughout the king’s provinces had gathered together to defend their lives. They gained relief from all their enemies, killing 75,000 of those who hated them. But they did not take any plunder. 17 This was done throughout the provinces on March 7, and on March 8 they rested,[c] celebrating their victory with a day of feasting and gladness. 18 (The Jews at Susa killed their enemies on March 7 and again on March 8, then rested on March 9,[d] making that their day of feasting and gladness.) 19 So to this day, rural Jews living in remote villages celebrate an annual festival and holiday on the appointed day in late winter,[e] when they rejoice and send gifts of food to each other. 20 Mordecai recorded these events and sent letters to the Jews near and far, throughout all the provinces of King Xerxes, 21 calling on them to celebrate an annual festival on these two days.[f] 22 He told them to celebrate these days with feasting and gladness and by giving gifts of food to each other and presents to the poor. This would commemorate a time when the Jews gained relief from their enemies, when their sorrow was turned into gladness and their mourning into joy. 23 So the Jews accepted Mordecai’s proposal and adopted this annual custom. 24 Haman son of Hammedatha the Agagite, the enemy of the Jews, had plotted to crush and destroy them on the date determined by casting lots (the lots were called purim). 25 But when Esther came before the king, he issued a decree causing Haman’s evil plot to backfire, and Haman and his sons were impaled on a sharpened pole. 26 That is why this celebration is called Purim, because it is the ancient word for casting lots. So because of Mordecai’s letter and because of what they had experienced, 27 the Jews throughout the realm agreed to inaugurate this tradition and to pass it on to their descendants and to all who became Jews. They declared they would never fail to celebrate these two prescribed days at the appointed time each year. 28 These days would be remembered and kept from generation to generation and celebrated by every family throughout the provinces and cities of the empire. This Festival of Purim would never cease to be celebrated among the Jews, nor would the memory of what happened ever die out among their descendants. 29 Then Queen Esther, the daughter of Abihail, along with Mordecai the Jew, wrote another letter putting the queen’s full authority behind Mordecai’s letter to establish the Festival of Purim. 30 Letters wishing peace and security were sent to the Jews throughout the 127 provinces of the empire of Xerxes. 31 These letters established the Festival of Purim—an annual celebration of these days at the appointed time, decreed by both Mordecai the Jew and Queen Esther. (The people decided to observe this festival, just as they had decided for themselves and their descendants to establish the times of fasting and mourning.) 32 So the command of Esther confirmed the practices of Purim, and it was all written down in the records.

Esther chapter 9, NLT

Salvation Is From the Lord.

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“But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you.

What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘

Salvation comes from the LORD.’”

Jonah 2:9 NIV

Well … I’ve been ‘grounded!’ LOL! I now have double pneumonia and am at home for the rest of the week to rest and heal. The PA caught it very early, so I’m hopeful this will clear up quickly, unlike four years ago when it took many weeks.

I’m working at searing this truth into my heart and soul and mind: Salvation is from the Lord. Pastor Colin Smith spends quite a bit of time on this truth in his last sermon in his Jonah series. If you scroll down in the link, you’ll see the sermon notes – not verbatim, but close. He writes and says:

The Bible Talks about Salvation as…

…A Continuing Process

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18 (NIV)

In the New Testament salvation is not only a completed transaction, it is a continuing process. Your salvation has begun, but it is not yet complete. We are not yet what we will be. We still struggle with the flesh and fail in many ways. Yet you are not who you were. You have been born again. You are a new person in Jesus Christ. You are being saved, and that process comes from the Lord.

We see this in Jonah. He had known the Lord for many years. But sin got a hold in his life, so God disciplines him and saves him through a storm and a fish.

Then in chapter 4, Jonah falls into sin in a different way, he becomes angry, bitter, frustrated, and God is still saving him. Salvation is more than an event. It is a lifelong process in which God is always at work to make us like Jesus. The continuing process of our salvation (the Bible calls this sanctification) comes from the Lord.

God is truly our Savior from everything we need saved from, and I find that I need to be saved from much in my life 🙂 . I want to try to figure out how to ‘save’ me and mine in all the various situations and circumstances. I want to find the ‘solution’ and I want to be able to be that solution. But as Jonah teaches us, Jonah needed salvation when he was drowning in the sea and falling to the very bottom and had no hope or ability to save himself. Jonah also needed salvation from himself and his sin of running to Tarshish when God called him to Nineveh. I really love how Pastor Colin Smith teaches on Jonah; it is so encouraging how he teaches us about God’s amazing love to Jonah and to us.

It often seems to me that pastors teach that we have to be perfect or our lives are screwed up forever. But Colin Smith teaches something different in his series on Jonah. We’re not doomed if life throws us curve balls. We’re not doomed if we sin. There is hope in the darkness. There are so many things that happen in this life that we have little or no control over, but we can be encouraged and have hope because our All-Powerful God DOES have total and complete control and has already worked out our salvation for our place in eternity and also in and from whatever circumstances or struggles or suffering we find ourselves in.

Holy God, we so desperately need You. You truly are our only Salvation. In our humanity we seem to be on search and rescue missions to find and be and do and become whatever salvation we need at any given time, but all our salvation comes from You. We need rescued and saved from many things in this life, Lord. May we learn to turn first to You for everything. I ask that You would heal me and save me from further illness as I’ve been sick with something almost continuously for a month now. My body is weak, but You are Strong and You are Healer, so I call upon You and ask for Your Mercy. I ask for Your Mercy and Grace and Healing and Peace and Salvation for all who read here and for my family and friends and for myself. You are God, Holy, Patient, Loving, Healing God, Savior, Salvation. Thank You; thank You. I love You and so desperately need You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

Jonah – Because I Think We All Need This

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I’m coming back to Colin Smith’s series on Jonah because I think we all really, really need this. I wrote first about it here and second here.

Here are the individual links to all the sermons in this series:

  1. Resist God’s Call to Something New
  2. Refuse God’s Provision Through Someone Else
  3. Resign God’s Work in Light of Your Experience
  4. Resent God’s Providence in Ordering the World
  5. Rejoice in God’s Gifts As Though They Were Rights
  6. Receive God’s Mercy and Withhold It From Others
  7. Restrain God’s Praise on Account of Your Pain
  8. Reduce God’s Salvation by Crediting Your Response

I would love to write more on these sermons, but I’ve been sick a lot lately. I had a cold-type virus that turned into a sinus infection where the second time I went to the doctor she told me that due to being a caregiver and how worn down I am that I must be very careful or I’ll get very, very ill; she wasn’t mean but she was emphatic and firm. She put me to bed for three days, and I eventually recovered. Then I got a stomach virus this past week, and now I have that sinus thing again. Allergies are also brutal, but the doctor told me my immune system is shot right now, so I’m just not able to fight things off. I’ve had to take a lot of sick days at work and turn down a position that would have given me more hours.

So this series on Jonah is timely for me. But it’s also a whole different perspective than I’ve ever thought of Jonah before, and it totally makes sense to me … and it’s a great encouragement for all Christians, particularly those of us who have been Believers for a long time. So many parts of this series that have been like pieces of a puzzle being put into place.

So I hope you take the time to listen. I’ve listened to several of the sermons more than once and will eventually listen to all of them multiple times, I’m sure, because there’s just so much truth in each of them, and I want it to seep into my very soul.

I hope you are all well. I’m not ignoring anyone 🙂 . May we continue to choose God, to choose to believe that God truly IS The Great I Am and that He loves us with an everlasting love and that He has never left us nor forsaken us and that He truly is right here, with us, right now, in the midst of all our suffering and trials and challenges and even in the midst of all our joys and celebrations. He truly is God, Sovereign, Just, All-Powerful, and Omnipresent. How I love Him!

The Easy Way or The Hard Way

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When my girls were growing up I decided that my they would always have the choice to obey me. They could choose to obey me the first time and life would be in favor with me. Or they could choose to disobey me, endure the discipline, and then obey me. I called this The Easy Way or The Hard Way. They could obey me the first time and be in favor with me – the easy way. Or they could disobey me, endure discipline, and then obey me – the hard way.

When we started watching a little girl many years ago, she decided to test that. I told her that in our house she gets to choose either the easy way or the hard way, and both my girls immediately cried out, “The easy way! Choose the easy way!” LOL!

I’ve noticed that this is the theme of the whole Bible. We get to choose the easy way or the hard way. If we obey God, we remain in His favor – this doesn’t mean life isn’t hard or harsh or difficult or that we won’t endure suffering, but it does mean that we remain in His favor. Or we can choose to disobey Him, endure the discipline, and then face our God in repentance. Some people never choose God this side of eternity, but every single person will bow to Him when they cross over. Every.single.person.

As you read the Bible, especially the Old Testament, watch this pattern repeat itself over and over. And choose to obey God now. Choose Him. Choose Jesus. Acknowledge that God IS, that Jesus died for your sins, that He loves you and longs for a relationship with you, repent of your sins – something we must continually do all of our lives, and choose Jesus.

Pastor Colin Smith: Jonah – “God Sent the Storm”

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In Pastor Colin Smith’s second sermon in his series on Jonah, Refuse God’s Provision Through Someone Else, I found some powerful insight. Here are some quotes from the beginning of this sermon. (by the way, if anyone knows how to do ‘block quotes’ in this WordPress block program, I’d love to know.)

~~~~~

“If you decide to go to Tarshish, there will always be a boat to get you there.” (3:39 mark)

“Now Jonah was running from the Lord, and there was the very opportunity waiting for him; the boat was there in the port. Never trust circumstances when you are refusing the word of God. For if you are running from God, there will always be opportunities for your sin and your rebellion to become worse. Now thank God that’s not the end of the story. Jonah’s sinful heart is taking him away from the Lord, but God wonderfully in His mercy is set and determined on bringing Jonah back.” (4:38 mark)

(5:56 mark) “I want to suggest that in the story we’re going to look at today of the conversion of the ship’s crew, we have one of the clearest pictures of the Gospel in all of the Bible. If you want to know simply, and if you’re the kind of person who thinks in pictures, what is the Gospel all about, you’ll never get it clearer I think than right here. Because the Gospel at its heart is about two things. It’s about the storm, and it is about the sacrifice. It is about the storm of God’s judgement, and it is about the sacrifice by which we can be saved from that judgement. And these two things are powerfully presented to us right here in this part of the story we’ve come to today.

“So let’s look first at the storm then, beginning at verse four [Jonah 1:4]. ‘The Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up.’ Now let’s pause there for a moment and think about this. God sent the storm. God sent the storm. Storms don’t happen by chance. Folks talk a lot about mother nature as if nature operated by its own independent power. But the Bible never suggests to us that nature operates by its own independent power. The Bible says to us that God sustains all things by His powerful word. That’s Hebrews chapter one and verse three. When the disciples were with the Lord Jesus – and remember He calmed the storm, the disciples said about Jesus, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him.’

“So when it comes to storms, when it comes to disasters, when it comes to tragedies in life, you have two choices as to what to believe. Either you will believe that God is in control even of these things, or you will end up concluding that He is somehow a helpless or at least passive observer.

“Now, Christians debate how we understand the Bible on these issues, and someone might well say, you know if you’re saying that God is sovereign, controlling all things, doesn’t that give you a problem if you say that God is sovereign even over storms that wreck ships. Listen, I would rather live with the problem of a God who is sovereign over all things than live with the problem of a God who is a helpless or passive observer of the worst things that happen in life. Wouldn’t you?

“God sends the storm. The storm is God’s intervention in Jonah’s life. You may want to think about this a little, but I thank God that God did not leave Jonah to his own free will. Jonah’s will was moving right in the wrong direction into a wasted life. And but for the intervention of God, that’s where he would have remained. But God was messing with Jonah’s rebellious will to save him from a life wasted in disobedience.

Don’t you thank God for the way in which His hand has intervened in your life? And where would you have been if it was not for His gracious intervention in your life? And at the same time this God who steps in and messes with all kinds of human affairs; He is stepping in to redeem a ship’s crew, to touch the lives of a group of men who know not the first thing about Him. Our God is amazing. Even His judgements are filled with His mercy.

And if He can use the crucifixion of His own Son to bring the redemption of the world, you can trust Him and His wise and loving hand in the darkest storms and the greatest tragedies of your life as well. Our minds will struggle with this but I want to encourage you to hold tightly to the comfort of knowing that God is sovereign and that though we live in a confusing world, we do not live in a world that operates on random chance.” (begins at 5:56 mark)

~~~~~

The Character of God: Wait Patiently

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This vision is for a future time.

It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.

If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,

for it will surely take place.

It will not be delayed.

Habakkuk 2:3 NLT

This verse is especially powerful to me as it describes the character of our Holy God. We want God to answer now. We want Him to fulfil His promises to us now. But while God is working everything out for His glory and our good, He is doing so in His time, and His time is rarely our time 🙂 .

God’s time often seems to tarry, to be slow in coming. And Habakkuk says we are to wait patiently.

God WILL fulfil all of His promises; it will surely take place.

And God will not be delayed.

Take heart, my dear friends. God is Powerful. He is continuously working. If we could see and know the whole of what God knows, we would absolutely fall on our face before Him and concede that He truly IS in control and He truly IS working everything, EVERY thing, out for His glory and our good in His time and in His ways, which are always the ultimate best every time.

Holy God, thank You for writing that You know that waiting on You seems slow to us. Fill us with Your patience as wee wait. Fill us with Your grace and mercy as we wait. And may we celebrate and be ready when You do act, for You will! You will not delay! Thank You! In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

Pastor Colin Smith on Jonah ~ Intense Inner Struggle

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I heard part of one of Pastor Colin Smith’s sermons on Jonah recently and made a note to look it up and listen because the part I heard had such a unique perspective. And … wow. This is SO good, especially for ‘mature’ Christians. He titled the series, How to Avoid A God-Centered Life. There are eight sermons in the series, and I’m working my way through them.

At the beginning of the first sermon, Resist God’s Call to Something New, at the 2:51 mark, Pastor Colin Smith says:

“At the end of the book, even after the miracle of being saved by the fish. Even after the triumph of a whole city turning in repentance towards God. Even after all these miracles in being used in such a singular way by God, you find that this man, Jonah, is angry​, he’s dissatisfied with his life, and he is out of sorts with God. Now that takes us into a surprising truth, that those who throw themselves most fully into the service of Jesus Christ often experience inner conflict more intensely, more intensely, than others. When you get into the heart of spiritual conflict in ministry like Jonah was, you will find more inner struggle, not less. Read the lives of any of the great saints of history, any of the great Christian leaders. Read the life of a man like Augustine, or Martin Luther, and you will find as you read the lives of great Christians that they experienced intense struggle in their inner lives​, more intense than many others.”

It’s challenging to know that the closer we get to Jesus, the more fully we live our lives following Him, the more inner struggle we will experience. I could really relate to what Pastor Colin Smith had to say. And while it’s challenging to know this, it’s also comforting to know that I’m normal, that what I’m experiencing is normal.

I want to listen back and share more quotes from what I’ve heard so far, so if I have time to do so, I will. In the meantime, you will not be disappointed taking the time to listen, and ponder.

Here are the individual links to all the sermons in this series:

  1. Resist God’s Call to Something New
  2. Refuse God’s Provision Through Someone Else
  3. Resign God’s Work in Light of Your Experience
  4. Resent God’s Providence in Ordering the World
  5. Rejoice in God’s Gifts As Though They Were Rights
  6. Receive God’s Mercy and Withhold It From Others
  7. Restrain God’s Praise on Account of Your Pain
  8. Reduce God’s Salvation by Crediting Your Response

Yet …

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Habakkuk is a short little three-chapter book towards the end of the Old Testament. I hadn’t thought of it in awhile until I heard a preacher on the radio mention it recently. I cannot remember who the preacher was, but it propelled me to read the book again. We think the depravity of our times is new, but the Bible proves there’s nothing new under the sun.

2 How long, O Lord, must I call for help?
    But you do not listen!

Habakkuk 1:2 NLT

“How long, O Lord,” is a phrase written in several places in the Bible and one everyone can relate to during at least one season in their life.

5 The Lord replied,“Look around at the nations;
    look and be amazed![a]
For I am doing something in your own day,
    something you wouldn’t believe
    even if someone told you about it.
6 I am raising up the Babylonians,[b]
    a cruel and violent people.
They will march across the world
    and conquer other lands.

Habakkuk 1:5-6 NLT

Here is another theme seen more than once in the Bible that always amazes me due to the absolute Power of our Holy God. God says that HE is raising up the evil Babylonians to do HIS bidding. There’s not one evil person who believes God is more powerful than they are, but He is, and He even uses their evil for His purposes. That is mind-blowing.

I will climb up to my watchtower
    and stand at my guardpost.
There I will wait to see what the Lord says
    and how he[a] will answer my complaint. 2 Then the Lord said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets,
    so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.

Habakkuk 2:1-2 NLT


I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the ramparts. I will watch to see what He will say to me, and how I should answer when corrected.

Habakkuk 2:1 Berean Standard Bible

I find this interesting. Habakkuk 1:1 says, “This is the message that the prophet Habakkuk received in a vision.” In this vision Habakkuk cries out to God and God answers. The Berean Standard Bible version captures the wording more accurately according to the Hebrew. The Hebrew word for corrected is 8433 towkechah, and it means: 1. chastisement 2. figuratively (by words) correction, refutation, proof (even in defence). Isn’t it interesting that Habakkuk states his complaint to God and yet knows he needs to be corrected? I’m sure that scholars much brighter than I who have studied this thoroughly understand it much better. But I wonder … as I’ve come to difficult places and dark places and confusing places in my life, I’ve often realized that if one of us – God or me – is wrong, then it must be me because God is never wrong. So I need God to correct me and draw me back into alignment with Him. I wonder if this is where Habakkuk was in this verse.

14 For as the waters fill the sea,
    the earth will be filled with an awareness
    of the glory of the Lord.

Habakkuk 2:14 NLT

You will want to read these three short chapters yourself because I’m just picking out a few verses, but I love this image and truth. For as the waters fill the sea, the earth will be filled with an awareness of the glory of the Lord. WOW. We cannot escape it. For every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. It WILL happen. Even the rocks will cry out. When the fall happened in Genesis 2-3, all of creation was separated from God, all of creation instantly was out of alignment with our Holy God, and all of creation longs for Jesus to return and set everything right again. Take a moment, close your eyes, and let the glory of the Lord fill you with an awareness of Him and His glory; let is wash all over and in and through you as the waters fill the sea. It’s powerful.

20 But the Lord is in his holy Temple.
    Let all the earth be silent before him.”

Habakkuk 2:20 NLT

This is a powerful image. The Lord IS in His Holy Temple; let ALL the earth be silent before Him. When God says it’s time to be silent, He means, it is time to be silent. May we take time to be silent before our Holy God and just be, and listen. Some time ago I heard someone ask a long-time professor what is different about this generation of kids, and he immediately answered, “They are distracted.” We have cell phones and are instantly connected continuously, and it makes us distracted. I’ve noticed I’m much more distracted than I’ve ever been, and I’m not sure how to ‘fix’ that. It makes it challenging to sit and be still and silent before our Holy God for any length of time. Time to quiet our souls and our minds and our thoughts and our whole beings and be silent and still and quiet before our Holy God. But we desperately need this. So many times in the Gospels it is written that even Jesus went away to be alone and pray and just be with His Father in heaven; if Jesus needed that, how much more so do we?!

This prayer was sung by the prophet Habakkuk[a]:

2 I have heard all about you, Lord.
    I am filled with awe by your amazing works.
In this time of our deep need,
    help us again as you did in years gone by.
And in your anger,
    remember your mercy.

Habakkuk 3:1-2 NLT

This immediately reminded me of the last chapter of Job:

Then Job replied to the Lord: 2 “I know that you can do anything,
    and no one can stop you.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
    It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
    things far too wonderful for me.
4 You said, ‘Listen and I will speak!
    I have some questions for you,
    and you must answer them.’
5 I had only heard about you before,
    but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
6 I take back everything I said,
    and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”

Job 42:1-6 NLT

Job has been corrected, reproved, and repented. Habakkuk has also been corrected, reproved, and repented. May we also be continuously willing to do the same. We all sin. We all need correction and reproof. And we all need to repent so we can more fully align our hearts and souls and minds and thoughts and goals and our whole beings with our Holy God. Hopefully we sin less the longer we live with our Jesus, but we still sin. And we still need Jesus.

This prayer was sung by the prophet Habakkuk[a]:

2 I have heard all about you, Lord.
    I am filled with awe by your amazing works.
In this time of our deep need,
    help us again as you did in years gone by.
And in your anger,
    remember your mercy.

3 I see God moving across the deserts from Edom,[b]
    the Holy One coming from Mount Paran.[c]
His brilliant splendor fills the heavens,
    and the earth is filled with his praise.
4 His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise.
    Rays of light flash from his hands,
    where his awesome power is hidden.

5 Pestilence marches before him;
    plague follows close behind.
6 When he stops, the earth shakes.
    When he looks, the nations tremble.
He shatters the everlasting mountains
    and levels the eternal hills.
    He is the Eternal One![d]
7 I see the people of Cushan in distress,
    and the nation of Midian trembling in terror.

8 Was it in anger, Lord, that you struck the rivers
    and parted the sea?
Were you displeased with them?
    No, you were sending your chariots of salvation!
9 You brandished your bow
    and your quiver of arrows.
    You split open the earth with flowing rivers.
10 The mountains watched and trembled.
    Onward swept the raging waters.
The mighty deep cried out,
    lifting its hands in submission.
11 The sun and moon stood still in the sky
    as your brilliant arrows flew
    and your glittering spear flashed.

12 You marched across the land in anger
    and trampled the nations in your fury.
13 You went out to rescue your chosen people,
    to save your anointed ones.
You crushed the heads of the wicked
    and stripped their bones from head to toe.
14 With his own weapons,
    you destroyed the chief of those
who rushed out like a whirlwind,
    thinking Israel would be easy prey.
15 You trampled the sea with your horses,
    and the mighty waters piled high.

16 I trembled inside when I heard this;
    my lips quivered with fear.
My legs gave way beneath me,[e]
    and I shook in terror.
I will wait quietly for the coming day
    when disaster will strike the people who invade us.

17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
    and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
    and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
    and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
    He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[f]
    able to tread upon the heights.

Habakkuk 3 NLT

These verses are so powerful, and the end is striking and convicting. Habakkuk describes a ‘scorched earth’ scenario, and within that, he writes, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.” Wow.

When the darkness surrounds us and is so thick we can feel it and not see. When all the life in our world has lost its blossoms and fruit and everything fails and the fields and barns in our world are empty and we have nothing, will we still be able to say, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord?”

Habakkuk can write this because he knows that with God there is hope, because God is life and light, and this world is temporary but eternity with Him for those who have chosen Jesus is forever. In our darkness and pain and ‘scorched earth’ seasons of our lives, may we yet praise Him, trust Him, and know that He IS. That God will never leave us nor forsake us, even now, even in this darkness. He.is.here.

Holy God, I don’t pretend to know and understand everything about this powerful little book in Your Holy Word, but I am thankful it’s here. We need to know You are with us in the darkness, when our lives seem to have been destroyed. We need to know how to be corrected and to be drawn into alignment with You. We need to yet praise You. We need to see You moving and to see Your brilliant splendor fill the heavens and to see the earth filled with Your praise. Your coming is as brilliant as the sunrise; rays of light flash from Your hands where Your awesome power is hidden. 3 I see God moving across the deserts from Edom, [b]the Holy One coming from Mount Paran. [c]His brilliant splendor fills the heavens, and the earth is filled with his praise. 4 His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise. Rays of light flash from his hands, where his awesome power is hidden. Fill our hearts and minds and souls and spirits and bodies with an awareness of the glory of the Lord as the waters fill the sea, and enable us to take time to be silent before You. We need You, Jesus, we so desperately need You. I pray for Your peace and Your healing to fill our souls and our beings, our minds and our hearts and our spirits. We love You and worship You and praise You, Holy God. In Jesus Holy Name I pray, amen.

I Want To Be The One

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11 As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. 12 As he entered a village there, ten men with leprosy stood at a distance, 13 crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” 14 He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.”[b] And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy. 15 One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” 16 He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” 19 And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.[c]”

Luke 17:11-19

Leprosy is a horrific disease and very visible. In Bible times people with leprosy were isolated:

The afflicted person was required to live outside the camp, as described in Leviticus 13:45-46 : “The person afflicted with an infectious skin disease must wear torn clothes, let his hair hang loose, cover his mouth, and cry out, ‘Unclean, unclean!’ As long as he has the infection, he remains unclean. He must live alone in a place outside the camp.”

So it’s a BIG deal that Jesus healed ten men with leprosy. And yet, only one chose to thank Him.

I want to be the one, don’t you? I want to be the one who remembers to thank Jesus every time He does something for me. I don’t always remember. I forget sometimes. I want to remember but life picks us up and carries us forward with it, and we have to stop and turn around and pause, and thank our Lord, our Savior, our Holy God, for His goodness and graciousness and mercy towards us.

Lord, we want to be the one who remembers to say thank you. We forget sometimes. We get carried away by the blessing or sometimes it seems insignificant or any number of things. But we don’t want that. We want to be the one who always remembers to stop and say thank you. Thank You, Jesus, for being God, for being All-Powerful, for being Good, for being Love, and for choosing to love us. Thank You for all the itty bitty tiny things You do for us and the great big things and everything in between. Thank You for all the many things You do for us that we never know about. Thank You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

The One Who Leads

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New International Version
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

New Living Translation
You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.

English Standard Version
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

I am getting better. I’m surprised at what a hit this took to my system, and I’m continuously surprised at how things change as I get older! LOL! I really wanted to be able to take that position and make it work, but my body just could not do it. I have to trust God, and how wonderful it is that we can trust our Holy God! My body is still a bit weak, not quite there, yet, but it will get there; I just have to be patient and careful.

New International Version
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

New Living Translation
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.

English Standard Version
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

I am thankful the Lord establishes my steps. If I had moved into that position and my health not been able to handle it, then I would have likely been out of a job as the company did not plan to replace the position I’ve been in. As it is, I was able to keep my position and not lose my job. Thank You Jesus 🙂 .

New Living Translation


That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,

and no mind has imagined

what God has prepared for those who love him.”

I Corinthians 2:9

I do not know what God has planned, but I do know that He has a plan. I believe Him. His purpose will prevail. He is establishing my steps. And in my little human mind, I cannot imagine what He has prepared for me! I love my Lord, my God, my Jesus, my Savior, my Redeemer.

Lord, Holy God, Savior, Lover of our souls, Strong Tower, All-Powerful, Omniscient God, we worship You and praise You. Thank You for protecting me and for protecting my job. Thank You for guiding my steps and for working out Your purpose in my life and in this situation. Please continue to heal my body, mind, heart, soul, and spirit. I lift up the one who is reading and ask the same for them, that You would reveal Your Love and Power to them, that You would show them that You are God and that You are here, with them, caring for them. May Your purposes always prevail. Infuse us with Your peace and confidence that He who began a good work in us will complete it till the very end. This life is often very hard. We fight through the struggles and sludge through the mire and the clay, and yet You never leave us. You stay with us. You protect us and care for us in ways we will never see or know this side of eternity, but You do it anyway. Thank You, thank You, Jesus. And then You put us on solid ground and help us and guide us as we walk along. Thank You, Jesus. You are so good to us. Thank You, Jesus. Comfort us, heal us, reveal Your Power and Love to us, provide for us, guide our steps, fill our thoughts and minds with the thoughts and mind of Christ, and fill us overflowing with Your Peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

Thank You for Praying :)

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Thank you SO very much for praying for me and for checking in. I am deeply grateful. I was to transfer to another position at work and ended up having extreme anxiety over it. The position would have been very beneficial in many ways, but the extreme anxiety was not good. I decided to talk to my manager about it, and she was actually very helpful and gave me great perspective and insight and guided me in declining the job offer. I literally declined the offer at the very last minute, so I’m sure there are some people who are very much not happy. But, when I went to the doctor last week when I was sick, she was very concerned for my health. She mentioned that people in similar situations are wearing themselves out and getting very ill. And two different friends shared very sad stories of family who have suffered greatly being caregivers. And there are just many things that only I can do for my Husband as his Caregiver. And the new position would have made these things very difficult on me.

I couldn’t figure out if the extreme anxiety was because God was telling me no, or because the enemy was trying to keep me from doing something good. That’s when I decided to talk to my manager and see what she had to say as I needed a different perspective, and there are some things about the environment I would have transferred to that I didn’t know how to interpret, and she was able to give insight as to what I saw. When I went in to talk to her on Monday I had no idea how the conversation would go. I sincerely want to only do what God wants me to do, but sometimes it seems hard to discern that. The conversation was really good, and I was confident that I needed to turn down the new position.

When I went in to work today I was a little concerned for various reasons, and when I saw I had a message from HR I was leery of opening it. But the HR woman was so kind saying she understood Caregiving firsthand and that she would be praying for my Husband and me and that God would provide the right thing at the right time for us. I was so humbled; it was like a hug from God. Isn’t it amazing where another brother or sister in our Lord Jesus Christ shows up! I needed her words today to wrap up this process and give me peace.

My body is pretty much recovered from being sick although I can tell my lungs took a little hit, so I’ll be nurturing those back to full health. And my system took a bit of a hit from that extreme anxiety, so that will just take some time. And that’s okay.

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. Luke 12:29-31 NLT

I’ve been reading in Luke lately, and verse 30 has really got my attention: 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Ouch. Jesus is speaking here, and of course He is right 🙂 . It’s challenging, sometimes, to not let the worries and cares of this life dominate our thoughts in the same ways of unbelievers. May we continuously lay all our burdens before our Lord, at the feet of our Savior Jesus.

Thank You, Jesus, for these who have prayed for me and continue to do so; what a gift, a precious and priceless gift they are. Hear their prayers, Lord, and return to them blessings a hundredfold for caring enough to take time to pray for me. What a blessing. What a gift. I am so very humbled and so very grateful. May Your favor rest on their lives and may You move in powerful and personal ways in their lives for Your glory and their good. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty, the earth is filled with Your Glory. King of all kings. Lord of all lords. Ruler of all rulers. All Powerful and in control of everything all the time. God. Father. Good. Rock. Redeemer. Creator. Lover of our souls. Our Strong Tower. Thank You for being God, and thank You for choosing and loving us. We desperately need You and love You and worship You and praise You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

22 Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. 23 For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. 24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! 25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

32 “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.

33 “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. 34 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Luke 12:22-34 NLT

Three Days

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I’ve had this virus, probably an old-fashioned cold that turned into a sinus infection, for ten days now. And while some of it is getting better, my body is still pretty weak and I was struggling to make it through the end of work today. Since I had double pneumonia several years back, I was a bit concerned at how weak I was, so I stopped by an urgent care on the way home today thinking they’d tell me I was fine and this was just taking longer and I could go back to work tomorrow. The good news is my lungs are clear, today, but she said that while I’m getting better that I won’t kick it and it will come full back if I don’t rest for the next three days. Full rest. Three days. She was emphatic, so much so I asked if she had talked to my daughters, which she couldn’t have because I’ve never seen her before. So I had to call out sick tomorrow after having had to call out sick a couple days last week. Don’t like having to use sick days in January. I think I might watch some TV. My Husband records movies, so I should have a good collection to choose from. He’s sick, too, and I had to take him in to get antibiotics yesterday. If you think about it, please pray for me. My body is just so worn down in its new ‘normal’ state. I’m scheduled to move to a full-time position in a couple weeks, too, so I really need my strength. And for my Husband who seems to be responding to his antibiotics which is very good; want to avoid needing another hospital visit with him. Thank you 🙂

Levels of Caregiving

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I have a coworker whose mother has dementia, and while she does not live with her mother, or her mother does not live with her, she helps with her mother a lot, and her mother calls her all the time wanting and needing. We were talking about Caregiver Fatigue, a new-to-me term I recently learned about, while another coworker was near. His father’s memory is declining, but his father lives two hours away. He made the comment that he deals with the same things we do.

And as I’ve thought about all that throughout the day, I’ve realized a few things. No, he has no idea what I deal with. And while my coworker whose mother lives in the same town understands, she gets to leave her mother and go home and not have to deal with her for extended periods of time. I’m not undermining their situations or demeaning them in any way, and I do have compassion for them because this is hard. Really hard.

But they do not know, because they cannot know – and that’s okay – what it’s like to never get a break, for home to no longer be a respite from life that feeds your soul but has become the place where my hardest and most exhausting work never ends.

I’ve read several novels by Daphne Simpkins. In her bio it is written:

Daphne Simpkins is an acclaimed Alabama author and speaker whose work centers on the profound experiences of caregiving, aging, and memory care, deeply informed by her lifelong role as a caregiver and her Christian faith, inspired by the parable of the Good Samaritan. With a distinctive voice that blends empathy, insight, and Southern storytelling …

Her beautifully written novel, Belle, is about the wife of a man with Alzheimer’s. The book’s description on Amazon includes this sentence:

Contrary to the reputation of caregiving, Belle Deerborn is anything but trapped, depressed, or hopeless.

I can’t say I’m in that same place, but the book has tenderly seeped into my soul as Simpkins delicately describes the thoughts of a caregiver. And I find myself comforted … I’m not alone. I’m not crazy for having these thoughts, for having these feelings.

I firmly believe there are those with the gift of caregiving and nursing; I am not one of those. I do not have either gift. My daughters will still emphatically state that they would have much rather been at their dad’s when they were sick than at their mom’s because I go into a full blown panic attack. It’s something I’ve spent countless hours in prayer pleading God to remove over the years, but as He never did I’ve accepted it’s a thorn in the flesh for me.

So, this role takes an enormous amount of mental and spiritual energy from me. I have to pray a lot that God would strengthen me and fill me with the things I need to get through this day, this hour, this moment. And I don’t think I’m alone. Being surrounded by older people down here in Florida, I have many customers who are or who have been caregivers, and they always, always, show enormous compassion when they learn I’m my Husband’s caregiver. Interesting, I just realized they never quiz me or drill me; they simply accept that it’s true and show enormous compassion. And it’s in their eyes, this compassion. Their eyes say, “I know, I know.”

Mornings are the hardest for me. Another day of challenges. Will another ‘something’ happen today? How will we get through this another day? Will I have enough strength? Will I handle it with care and grace or will I lose it and fall apart? How much longer can I last like this? Unlike the character in the novel above, hope seems elusive for me and I often feel trapped and depressed and panicked, but I can’t show that when I have to deal with the multiple things that come up.

A customer came in last week whose Husband died during the holidays, and without giving me hardly any detail, she said it was a gift. Now she’s having to make her own doctor’s appointments to deal with her own health (and they seemed pretty serious), but now, now she can.

Every level is hard. The parent or loved one who is miles away, the one who lives close but not in your house, and especially the one who lives with you for whose care you are solely responsible. It is not bad or wrong to not know what it’s like to be a caregiver, and if you do not know I hope you never have to. But once you do know, it breeds a deep compassion for all other caregivers.

I’ll never forget the encounter I had with a woman before we left Texas. I was purchasing something from her, and her conversation was neutral, however when she learned I was a caregiver her whole countenance changed, literally changed. “You’re a caregiver?!” Because she had been one, too, for many years before her charge (I think it was her special needs son, iirc) passed on. She literally came into my world emotionally. I was still pretty new to this whole thing and hadn’t yet experienced it enough to understand her reaction and response, but I do now.

Lord, Holy God, mercy, grace, peace, hope, and endurance. I pray for these, begging for them, for Your mercy and grace and peace and hope and endurance. You are my God, You love me, You are Hope, You are my Strength, You are my Provider. I choose You. I trust You, Lord, for You are my God and my times are in Your hands. I love You and so desperately need You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

Treasure Box

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A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart,

and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

What you say flows from what is in your heart.

Luke 6:45 NLT

I love this verse in the NLT. I can see a Mom of littles creating Treasure Boxes and writing Bible verses and other biblical good things on paper throughout the days to add to each of their treasure boxes. Perhaps even having two – one for good and one for bad, so when bad things come out of their mouths they can think about what was in their heart, what they were thinking, that caused them to say something bad.

When I read this in the NLT I thought of a Treasure box … what do I put in the treasure box of my heart? What do I allow and what do I prevent from coming in. And what do I ignore that seeps in because I am not paying attention or do not care or for any other reason.

Lord, the words we speak are very important to You because they reflect what is in our hearts, and our hearts are supremely important to You. May we protect and guard our hearts fiercely by protecting what we allow ourselves to see and hear and expose ourselves to. May we learn to reject that which does not belong. May we learn to root out and expel and evict those things that are not of You, which is so very hard to do but oh so necessary. May the treasuries of our hearts be full of the things of the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit; may they be filled with Your love, joy peace, patience, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing to You, our Lord, our Rock, and our Redeemer. And may we learn the wisdom and the value of a word fitly spoken in right circumstances, for it is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Our words matter because they reflect our heart, and our hear really matters to You. In Jesus Holy Name amen.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD,

my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14 NLT

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.

Proverbs 25:11 NASB

Jude on Faith

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I heard Part 2 of a sermon on waiting by Pastor Colin Smith this week while driving so decided to look it up and listen again as it was so good. I learned it’s part of a series titled Keeping Yourself In Spiritual Shape taught from the little bitty but powerful book of Jude. So I decided to start from the beginning and have listened to the first sermon in the series titled Build Yourself Up, which focuses on Faith. Here are the notes I took:

1. Give thanks to God for the GIFT and miracle of my faith. 
– Thank You God for Your Holy Spirit in me. 
– Thank God for what He has done continuously. Give thanks to God.
– Need to learn to discern the work of the Holy Spirit.
– Encourage one another, pointing out where God is working in each other’s lives and giving thanks to God.
 
2. Affirm your faith. v3
– Your faith is to embrace THE faith.
– Recite Bible verses to affirm what you believe saying, “I believe …”
– I believe in the Holy Spirit.
– I believe in God the Father Almighty.
– I believe in the Blood of Jesus that cleansed and cleanses me of my sin.
– Feed your soul on affirmations of what you believe.
– Give thanks to the Lord for He is Good, for His love endures forever.
 
3. Exercise your faith.
– Faith is like a muscle that grows strong when it is used.
– Faith will grow when trial comes into your life and suddenly God has thrust you into the gym to exercise and strengthen your faith.
– Faith grows under pressure.
– Pray through the trial. Exercise your faith IN the trial.
– God will put you in the gymnasium of trial to exercise your faith in order to strengthen it.
– You should be stronger after a trial than before the trial.
– Ask God for eyes to see when God is putting you in the gymnasium to strengthen your faith.
 
4. Feed your faith on Jesus Christ.
– It is fed and nourished by Him.
– Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
– Get a view of Jesus in reading the Word and in worship. Look for the Holy Spirit to give a fresh glimpse of Jesus and renew the knowledge of that deep in our souls.
– Stretch to look for a glimpse of Jesus.
– Expect to see Jesus.
– Make the Bible live to me, O God. Show me You, my Savior, myself, and make the Bible live to me, alive to me.
– And your soul will be fed and nourished and will grow.
 
Build yourself up in your most Holy faith in Jesus.
 
I have been greatly encouraged by the few of his sermons that I’ve listened to, and I’m sure you will be, too.
 
If you do not regularly read the Bible, ask God to part the waters of your life to make a space to read it. I’m always surprised at how powerfully we are pulled away from reading the Bible – I shouldn’t be so surprised because our Enemy is powerful and he does not want us to read the Bible ever, but I am. There are several people in my life right now who will not read their Bible. One is a new friend that I met at church. She LOVES church but doesn’t read her Bible. When I suggested she read three chapters, she balked. There is an enemy who has an intense and passionate interest in keeping us from reading our Bibles, but God who created the enemy is infinitely more powerful! Thank You, Jesus. 
 
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world’s darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
 
 
Holy God, I pray that You would give us Your Sword of the Spirit, that You would give us an insatiable hunger and thirst for Your Holy Word that we might not sin against You and that we might hide it deep in the wells of our hearts and souls, so we may know You and the power of Your resurrection, so that we can come into Your presence and worship You through Your Holy Word. Quiet our minds and hearts and souls and spirits so we may be still in Your presence and hear You, Your voice through Your Word, written and printed just for us. May we come to You and find peace and rest for our souls. I’m hesitant to ask that You build our faith for it is through trial and difficulty that our faith is strengthened and I don’t want to ask for more trials! However, in this world we do have trials and difficulties and suffering, so I ask that You would use our trials and difficulties and sufferings to strengthen our faith, and I pray that we would find our faith stronger on the other side of our trials because You have strengthened us through our trials and difficulties and sufferings. Thank You for doing that, for not letting hard times be pointless but rather using them and purposing them for Your glory and our good, for You are a good God and want and desire the very best for us. We need You, Jesus, we so desperately need You with every breath. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
 

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[d] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[e] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[f] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[g]

Ephesians 6:10-18 NLT

 

Music ~ Good

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Matthew West Lyrics

“Good”

I used to think grace was a ladder
Every sinner had to climb
If only I could just do better
I could earn it over time

Tried to work my way to good
Trouble is I never could
But then You showed me
Just exactly how grace works

I’m good at always falling down
You’re good at never giving up
I’m good at getting turned around
You’re good at saying I’m still loved
And I was wrecked by mercy
The day I understood
I’m not loved because I’m worthy
I’m loved because You’re good

I think Paul wrote the book of Romans
For people just like me
For all the beat up and the broken
Who need to know that grace is free

Why do I do the things I shouldn’t
And I don’t do the things I should
That’s just the proof
You’re the only part of me
That’s good

I’m good at always falling down
You’re good at never giving up
I’m good at getting turned around
You’re good at saying I’m still loved
And I was wrecked by mercy
The day I understood
I’m not loved because I’m worthy
I’m loved because You’re good

Loved because You’re God
I’m loved because You’re faithful to me even when I’m not
Oh God You are so good
When there’s nothing good in me
Just a grateful sinner saved by You
Is all I have to be

I’m good at always falling down
You’re good at never giving up
I’m good at getting turned around
You’re good at saying I’m still loved
And I was wrecked by mercy
The day I understood
I’m not loved because I’m worthy
I’m loved because You’re good

Loved because You’re God
I’m loved because You’re faithful to me even when I’m not
Oh God You are so good
When there’s nothing good in me
Just a grateful sinner saved by You
Is all I have to be

And I was wrecked by mercy
The day I understood
I’m not loved because I’m worthy
I’m loved because You’re good

Betach: What I Long for in 2026

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I ponder what to write to begin this new year. What does my soul need to hear as it begins a new year? What does your soul need to hear? I’m not really a resolutions kinda girl. But I do like hope. And it would be nice to have an answer if asked, once again, What are you looking forward to this year?

Stability. I feel like we’ve been in transition for several years, and I long for stability. I long to be in the final place we’re going to. I’m not sure where that final place is or when we’re supposed to get there or even what it’s going to look like, but I long for that place. The place where we can drop the anchor and know we’re going to stay for a good long while. The place where we can replant from the temporary flower pot and directly into the rich soil of the land where we’ll be staying – both metaphorically and physically.

Hope. I would love continuous hope. Something tangible to look forward to that fills my soul with purpose and life and that longs for sunrises and warms as it dwells in the sunsets knowing that productive life happened that day and that there’s more of where that came from to look forward to tomorrow.

Peace. I would love continuous peace in my soul, the kind of peace from our Holy God that expands and defeats anxiety and depression and restlessness and disappointment and bitterness. The kind that flows into your soul when so deeply rooted in Jesus that your focus doesn’t waver when the storms are blowing off the leaves and bending the branches of your life. The kind that floods into every fiber and cell of your being so much so that when you close your eyes everything settles and smiles a gentle smile.

Purpose. The transitions of the last several years have changed my purpose, and it doesn’t feel solid or well defined yet. Some of those transitions are organic, like the simplicity of my daughters growing up and our roles being redefined; good, but different. Some of those transitions are due to tragedy or loss or grief. But they are all change, and my purpose has changed, and I’m not quite sure what that is now or what it is supposed to look like or how I’m supposed to wear it and how it will fit on me. I’d like to be able to define it and put it on like a comfortable pair of old jeans that are always there for you. It takes time to break in that new pair of jeans. I’d like to find that new pair of jeans and break them in so that by the end of the year they are comfy and reliable.

Confidence. My confidence has been shattered, and I’d like to find that again.

After I wrote the above, I went out to http://www.biblegateway.com and did a search for ‘confidence’ and found Isaiah 32:17:

17 And this righteousness will bring peace.
    Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.

Isaiah 32:17

As I often do, I clicked on the Hebrew tab to see the original language and find the original Hebrew word for Confidence. The Hebrew word for confidence in this verse is 983. betach. And this, this is what I’m looking for in my life. This is what I long for. This is what I want in 2026 and to come to the end of the year and look back and be able to say my life is filled with betach.

Lexical Summary
betach: Security, safety, confidence, trust

Original Word: בֶּטח
Part of Speech: Noun Masculine
Transliteration: betach
Pronunciation: BEH-takh
Phonetic Spelling: (beh’takh)
KJV: assurance, boldly, (without) care(-less), confidence, hope, safe(-ly, -ty), secure, surely
NASB: securely, security, safety, secure, unsuspecting, confidence, safely
Word Origin: [from H982 (בָּטַח – trust)]

1. (properly) a place of refuge
2. (abstract) safety, both the fact (security) and the feeling (trust)
3. (often, adverb with or without preposition) safely

Security, safety, confidence, trust. Just reading these words calms my soul. Assurance. Securely. A place of refuge. Safety, both the fact (security) and the feeling (trust).

Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance

assurance, boldly, without care, confidence, hope, safely secure, surely

From batach; properly, a place of refuge; abstract, safety, both the fact (security) and the feeling (trust); often (adverb with or without preposition) safely — assurance, boldly, (without) care(- less), confidence, hope, safe(-ly, -ty), secure, surely.

see HEBREW batach

Assurance, boldly, without care, confidence, hope, safely secure, surely. A place of refuge. Safety, both the fact (security) and the feeling (trust).

NAS Exhaustive Concordance

Word Origin
from batach
Definition
security
NASB Translation
confidence (1), safely (1), safety (6), secure (2), securely (21), security (8), unawares (1), unsuspecting (2).

Confidence, safely, safety, secure, securely, security.

Secure/Security. After reading through the definitions, I need to add secure to my list. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt secure, anchored. There’s a settled peace in that word.

Safe/Safety. Perhaps I should add Safe to my list, too. Reading below: settled safety, confidence, or trustful security.

There is SO much in the passage copied below. I’m going to highlight some of it as I read through it here, so all highlighting is mine.

Topical Lexicon

Overview

Strong’s Hebrew 983 carries the idea of settled safety, confidence, or trustful security. In Scripture it is always an outcome—never self-generated but bestowed or presumed—so its theological weight lies in the source of that security. Of the roughly forty-two appearances, the contexts fall naturally into blessing, warning, and eschatological promise.

Patterns of Usage

1. Security that flows from covenant obedience (Deuteronomy 12:10; Leviticus 25:18-19).
2. Domestic tranquility under righteous rule (1 Kings 4:25; Proverbs 1:33; 3:23).
3. National safety promised for a restored Israel (Jeremiah 23:6; 33:16; Ezekiel 34:25-28).
4. False or self-confident security opposed by the prophets (Isaiah 47:8; Zephaniah 2:15).
5. Personal repose given by the Lord amid danger (Psalm 4:8; 16:9).

Covenant Blessings and Consequences

When Israel was to “rest and live in safety” (Deuteronomy 12:10), the word signaled the tangible, day-to-day result of covenant faithfulness: settled borders, undisturbed homes, and worry-free worship. The converse appears in prophetic indictments, where the same term exposes complacency. Isaiah confronts Babylon, “you who dwell securely” (Isaiah 47:8), underscoring that security apart from the Lord becomes illusion. Thus the word becomes a diagnostic tool revealing the spiritual pulse of nations and individuals.

Domestic Tranquility

Proverbs employs the noun in the sphere of neighborly relations: “Do not devise evil against your neighbor, for he dwells by you in safety” (Proverbs 3:29). The moral fabric of a community either preserves or undermines betach. Personal integrity fosters it—“He who walks in integrity walks securely” (Proverbs 10:9)—linking ethics, wisdom, and peace.

Personal Refuge in the Psalms

The Psalmist repeatedly turns betach into liturgy. “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8). Even in death-tinged contexts the same security reigns: “My body also rests secure” (Psalm 16:9). Here the noun serves doxology, proof that the believer’s deepest quietness is not circumstantial but relational.

Historical Vignettes

• Judges records Laish “living quietly and securely” (Judges 18:7, 10, 27) before Dan’s surprise attack. The sudden loss of betach dramatizes vulnerability when security lacks divine sanction.
• Gideon routed Midian while the enemy camp “felt secure” (Judges 8:11), illustrating how false confidence blinds to real threat.
• Solomon’s reign pictures the golden age: “Judah and Israel dwelt safely, every man under his vine and fig tree” (1 Kings 4:25). The image becomes a prophetic prototype for messianic peace (Micah 4:4; Zechariah 3:10, though these later passages use related vocabulary).

Prophetic Promises of Restoration

Jeremiah and Ezekiel repeatedly employ the term in oracles of hope. “They will dwell in their own land in safety” (Jeremiah 32:37). Ezekiel’s shepherd oracle climaxes, “They will live in safety, and no one will frighten them” (Ezekiel 34:28). The phrase becomes shorthand for the full covenant package: forgiveness, restored land, righteous leadership, and the presence of God.

Ezekiel 38–39 uses betach to set the stage for Gog’s invasion: Israel’s divinely given security becomes the very magnet for hostile forces, ultimately showcasing the Lord’s deliverance. Thus end-time security is neither naïve nor precarious; it is designed to display God’s glory when threatened.

False Security Denounced

Isaiah, Zephaniah, and Obadiah turn the noun into an indictment. The self-indulgent city that says “I am, and there is none besides me” (Isaiah 47:8) epitomizes arrogance. Zephaniah 2:15 reprises the taunt against Nineveh: a metropolis that “dwells securely” yet is destined for desolation. False betach is therefore a moral, not merely military, miscalculation.

Messianic Overtones

Jeremiah 23:6 joins the term to the royal title “The LORD Our Righteousness,” promising a future king under whom “Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell in safety.” The security hoped for in earlier histories converges on the righteous Branch, foreshadowing the peace Christ secures through His atonement and future reign.

Theology of Safety

Betach affirms that true security is:

• God-given: rooted in His covenant faithfulness.
• Holistic: encompassing land, home, body, and soul.
• Ethical: maintained by righteousness and integrity.
• Eschatological: fully realized in the Messianic kingdom.

Ministry Significance

1. Pastoral Care: Betach invites believers to rest in God’s sovereignty amid personal trials. Psalm 4:8 offers counselees a prayer for insomnia borne of anxiety.
2. Preaching: Contrasting Solomon’s peaceful reign with Babylon’s doomed complacency equips sermons on false refuge versus gospel security.
3. Discipleship: Proverbs’ linkage of wisdom and safety encourages practical holiness as the daily path to peace.
4. Missions: The restored security of God’s people serves as an evangelistic picture of the ultimate shalom offered in Christ.

Representative Passages

• Deuteronomy 12:10 – “When you cross the Jordan and live in the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, and He gives you rest from all your enemies around you and you live in safety.”
• Psalm 4:8 – “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.”
• Proverbs 1:33 – “But whoever listens to me will dwell in safety, secure from the fear of evil.”
• Jeremiah 23:6 – “In His days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell in safety. And this is His name by which He will be called: ‘The LORD Our Righteousness.’”
• Ezekiel 34:28 – “They will no longer be prey to the nations, and the beasts of the earth will not devour them. They will dwell in safety, and no one will frighten them.”

Summary

Strong’s 983 portrays security as a gift from God, grounded in covenant, maintained through righteousness, forfeited by pride, and perfected under Messiah. It encourages believers to anchor their confidence not in circumstance but in the unchanging character and promises of the Lord.

This is one of those posts that I began having no idea where it would go or what I wanted to say except that I felt there was something I needed to write, something that needed to be said, and while I believe this is for my soul, that God led me through this for me, I hope that you find something for your soul, too. I know that I have not absorbed all of what this word, betach, encompasses, but as I’ve written these words, I pray that when I come to this place at the end of 2026 that betach has seeped in and flooded my heart and my mind and my soul and my spirit and my whole being.

Holy God, it’s another year here on earth, this place You designed and created for us to live for relatively short periods of time at the beginning of this thing called life. All through the Bible you have markers, seasons, ceremonies and celebrations, defining places on our journeys in this thing called life that You created. So we come to another one of those markers, the beginning of a new year, this year 2026. The world is spinning faster than ever, change is rapid and zooming out-of-control down here, but it’s not too fast for You, and it’s never out-of-control for You. You are continuously in control, You are never out-of-control, and it is never ever too fast for You. This year I long for Stability, Peace, Hope, Purpose, Confidence, Security, and Safety. This year I long for Betach. This year I long for Assurance. Securely. A place of refuge. Safety, both the fact (security) and the feeling (trust). So I come before You, the Provider of Betach, and I ask You for these things I long for, for stability, for peace, for hope, for purpose, for confidence, for security, for safety, for betach. And I pray for my family and those I love and those reading here for the same and for whatever they long for this year, too, for their needs might be different than mine. Fill our hearts and souls and minds and spirits with You, Jesus, with Your desires and Your will and just simply with You. We so desperately need and desire You. May we live this year for You, fulfilling Your desires and Your will for our lives. Thank You that You never leave us nor forsake us, and may we know that we can lie down in peace and sleep for You, alone, O Lord, will keep us safe. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

A Sidenote

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I usually read other blogs on my Jetpack app on my phone, but it no longer allows me to ‘like’ any post or to comment on any post. So if I don’t ‘like’ or comment on your posts for a good while, it is not an indication that I didn’t like or read your post, it’s just simply that my time on my laptop where I can comment and ‘like’ posts is limited 🙂 .

“What Are You Looking Forward To This Year?”

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“What are you looking forward to [this year],” he asked me. I was a little taken aback as that is not a question I remember being asked, at least not in many years, and it wasn’t what I was expecting. And it was a question I couldn’t answer. 

I have interesting customers at my job in this Florida town, a very unique mix of people from many different places and stations in life. I don’t know anything about this young man except that he seemed to have a keen sense of perception. “I see you as humble,” he said, and then paused, “but I can’t define what else I see.”

“I want my Husband to do well this year,” I said, trying to come up with something plausible but also real and simply explaining that I’m his caregiver. “No,” he replied, “that’s not it.” A little more discussion, mostly on what he was there for. “I want my daughters to do well, to be okay; I want them to always follow Jesus and to never turn from Him.” “Are they adults? he asked. “Yes.” “Are you a Grandma?” “No.” It was time for him to leave; the conversation was incomplete but it was all I had today, and his business was finished.

And I still can’t really answer that question in this season of my life. It was an unusual day for me for several reasons so I was already a bit emotional, and I found myself struggling not to cry with his question and my inability to answer it.

He had started the conversation lightheartedly saying he was struggling with family – I’m guessing that, at his young age, his family probably has some expectations or demands of him that he may or may not be meeting according to their wishes, but that conversation was unfinished, too, so I could be totally off base there. I may or may not ever see him again, but he left an indelible impression on me.

So, I guess this is the question of the day, or at the end of one year and the beginning of the next. What are you looking forward to? Is there something on the horizon that is tangible that brings you hope and joy and that you’re looking forward to with eager and hopeful expectation?

The Radiance of the Lord’s Glory

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8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them.

Luke 2:8-9a NLT

“And the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them.” I just stopped there in my reading Christmas Eve morning and paused and absorbed and closed my eyes and asked God to surround me with the radiance of His glory.

It is so amazing and overwhelming and spectacular and powerful that Jesus came to us as a baby in such a humble and simple way and yet also with such spectacular power all at the same time. Can you close your eyes and feel just a drop of the power of our Holy God moving all of His creation to align and move to His breath and Word and perfect timing, the stars and the angels and the animals and the people … the Power and yet the peace all at the same time.

May the radiance of the Lord’s glory surround you today, this Christmas day.

May you know our Jesus who came to earth, fully God and yet also fully man, to live a perfect life to become the Sacrificial lamb, shedding every drop of His blood for your sins and mine, to pay the price for you and me, the final Sacrifice, out of love and full of the Power and Authority to do so.

Do you know Jesus? Have you accepted His love and sacrifice for you? Have you invited Him into your life and heart and soul and mind for eternity? Have you chosen to submit to and live for Jesus? If not, please consider doing so now, today; it would be the greatest Christmas present you will ever receive. All you have to do is acknowledge your sin and your inability to atone for your sin, to acknowledge that Jesus is the Messiah, the Savior, your Messiah and your Savior, and submit to Him. Ask Him to forgive you of all your sin and to accept you into His fold, choose to accept His sacrificial gift of His own life and death on the cross to cover your sin, choose to ask Him to come into your heart and soul and life and be your Lord and Master and Savior. And He will.

16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave[g] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. 18 “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. 19 And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. 20 All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. 21 But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.[h]”

John 3:16-20 NLT

Jesus, Messiah, Savior of the whole world of eternity past and present and future, thank You. Thank You. Thank You for being God, for being man, for being the Messiah, for creating a plan to save us from ourselves and our sin and for fulfilling that plan, for coming to earth as a baby and growing into a man, living a pure and sinless and perfect life so You could become the pure and perfect sacrifice for all our sin, for all the sin of all people for all time. And how desperately we need You. I choose You, Jesus, my Messiah, my Savior, my Lord. May Your peace, Your Powerful Peace, seep into our hearts and minds and souls and beings and may we take time to rest with You there this Christmas day. And may the radiance of Your glory surround us and flow in and through us and reach out and touch others who need You. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty, the earth is filled with Your glory. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come. How we long for Your coming, Jesus. Thank You, thank You, for the gift of You; how desperately we need You with our every breath. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

A New Song

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1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3 NLT

I have one browser on my phone that I use to keep a chapter open from the Bible, and this is the chapter that I’ve had open for several weeks now. I was reading it again this morning when the word, ‘new,’ struck me. “He has given me a NEW song to sing,” and I wondered about that … do I even want a new song to sing? When I was younger I was often up for a new adventure, but as I’m getting older, I just want calm, peaceful, and comfortable. But then I thought of the children of Israel who complained after being rescued by God through Moses from many generations of slavery in Egypt. God told Moses to send spies into Canaan to see what the land was like, and all but two of the spies complained that even though the land was amazing, the people were too strong, so the children of Israel whined:

So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. 2 And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, “If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! 3 Why has the Lord brought us to this land to [a]fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?” 4 So they said to one another, “Let us select a leader and return to Egypt.” Numbers 14:1-4 NKJV

Numbers 13 and Numbers 14 are packed and worth your time to read. We want to think that we’d never be like that, but then we find ourselves in a similar situation and find that we are, in fact, very human indeed. Many generations of the children of Israel lived in slavery in Egypt, so many that the current generation had no memory of anything different. And while they wanted out of slavery, and while God did perform huge miracles getting them out, including all the plagues and then parting the sea and letting them walk through on dry land, it was not an easy journey. It was hard and uncomfortable and very uncertain. We can read the story start to finish now, but they lived it only one day at a time. It was unsettling. It wasn’t what they expected. And they didn’t have cell phones to give them continuous encouragement and updates as to where they were and where they were going and what the next step would be.

Writing this I’m reminded of how people perceived Jesus – they wanted a powerful warrior King to rescue Israel and the Jewish people and for Him to come in with unparalleled power and might and destroy all their enemies, but Jesus came in as a baby, then later rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, then later was beaten and hung on a cross to die, and then He rose from the grave to conquer death, and then He offered Salvation to the Gentiles, too, and not just the Jewish people – not at all what the Jewish people were expecting. Nothing about Jesus was what they were expecting.

We have these expectations of God, of life, of how things should be. There are good reasons for these expectations … stories we hear … things that do and do not happen to other people … our own personal experiences … and what we read in the Bible. But God does not fit in our expectations because He does not fit inside any human mind or thought – He is too much bigger and greater and too much more extreme for that.

So when He wants to move us from a place of comfort, even if that place of comfort is being a slave and even if we think we want to move to that new place … the way He often does so is through. And the journey through to the other side is rarely a stroll in the park on a beautiful day with flowers blooming and birds singing. It’s often fraught with difficulty. Sometimes that includes a pit of despair, and sometimes it includes a struggling through mud and mire, all before He sets our feet back on solid ground and steadies us as we walk along … singing a new song, living a new life, doing a new thing … for Him … a new song that is a hymn of praise to our God for all that He has done in such a way that many will see what He has done – through us, with us, for us – and be amazed. And then they will put their trust in the Lord. For God does not redeem us and rescue us and restore us so just for us, He does so for Him, so His Name can be praised, and to draw people to Him.

Our human flesh and desires are selfish. We become tired, and weary, and worn. We are broken. We are desperate. We want out. We want change. We want it to get better. And God really does want what’s best for us, too … He just knows that we have such a limited view that we cannot see the big picture, so we simply must trust Him.

Lord, Holy God, Savior, Messiah, we come to You. In our humanness. In our depravity. In our tiny minds compared to Yours. We are often desperate, depleted, full of despair, and we so desperately need You. We need You to continue to be God and to continue to do Your God thing, and we need You to help us especially when that is very different from what we perceived it would be. We want You to come in on Your Warrior Horse and decimate the enemy and roar to victory! Yet You often take us through a pit of despair, through a treacherous path of mud and mire, and then instead of putting us back on the shore where we began and life was good and safe, You lead us through to a different place, to a new place, and give us a new song full of praise to You so many can see You and be amazed and be drawn to You. You use us as lights in a dark world to draw the lost out of the darkness and into Your Light. It is scary and hard and unexpected and sometimes it shreds us and destroys us and breaks us until there seems to be nothing left … until You step in and create something new from seemingly nothing, and You give us a new song to sing full of praise to You. For Your glory. To draw people lost in this dark world to You. This is easier to write than live. It is easier to say than do. But You already know that; after all, You designed and created us – and not just the one of me, but millions and billions of people since Adam, so even if You needed lots of experience with us mere mortals, You already have it 🙂 . Make us willing, Lord, to go through the pit of despair, to go through the mud and the mire, and make us willing to sing a new song, one of praise to You to be used to draw people to You and not simply to make us happy and give us what we want and make our lives easy and sunny. And while that is hard, Lord, it’s also how You designed us to be. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and malice, and enable us to be kind and compassionate and forgiving just as You have forgiven us. Root out the sin that so easily entangles us so we can run with perseverance the race You have chosen for each one of us, individually. Enable us to be holy as You are holy. These are things we cannot do on our own but with God all things are possible, so we call upon You. Continue to mold us to be and become more like You, to be and become all You designed and created before the foundation of the world. Strip of us all that would hinder that, gently if possible 🙂 . In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, Hebrews 12:1 NIV

13 Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”

I Peter 1:13-16

Others May; You Cannot

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GW wrote a post titled, What About Them? where he quotes from a devotional by the late George Douglas Watson titled, Others May, You Cannot. I have never heard of George Watson and so do not know anything about him, but this devotional, which GW also quoted, struck a powerful chord in my soul:

Others may, you cannot

(George Watson, 1845-1924)

(Be sure to LISTEN to the Audio, as you READ the text below.)

John 21:21-22, “When Peter saw him, he asked: Lord, what about him?
Jesus answered: If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You follow Me!”

If God has called you to be truly like Jesus, then He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility. He will put on you such demands of obedience, that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians. In many ways, He seems to let other believers do things, which He will not let you do.

Others who seem to be very faithful and useful, may push themselves up to be admired–but you cannot. If you attempt it–you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord, as to make you sorely penitent.

Others can brag about themselves, their work, and their successes–but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. If you begin to do so, He will lead you into some deep humiliation that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money, or in having a legacy left to them, or in having luxuries–but God may only supply you on a day-to-day basis, because He wants you to have something far better than gold–a helpless dependence on Him and His unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honored and put forward, while keeping you hidden in obscurity–because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit in you, which can only be produced in the shade.

God may let others be great, but He will keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit, but He will make you work and toil without others knowing how much you are doing. Then, to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done. This is to teach you the message of the Cross and humility.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch on you, and with a jealous love rebuke you for careless words and feelings, or for wasting your time–which other Christians never seem distressed over.

So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign and has a right to do as He pleases with His own redeemed people, and that He may not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason, in His dealings with you.

If you absolutely give yourself to be His slave, then He will wrap you up in His jealous love, and let other Christian people say and do many things which you cannot.

However, know this great secret of the Kingdom: When you are so completely possessed with the living God, that you are in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over His personal, private, jealous guardianship and management over your life–then you will have touched the outskirts of glory and embraced God’s highest calling.

These are hard words to process. God has boundaries around each of us; things He allows and things He does not allow. We know we all have different gifts and abilities, but it’s a whole different perspective – and teaching from today’s culture that says you can do and be anything you want if you work hard enough – that says that God has put boundaries around what He will allow and what He will not allow you to do according to His purpose for your life.

It’s logical when you think about it that different parts of the body and different gifts each have their own limitations. But this concept that God has put boundaries around me as to what He will allow and not allow … that’s … big. And it’s hard. And it makes me want to push against it and, well, pitch a little fit if I were to label it correctly.

I don’t want my life to be this hard. I don’t want such harsh boundaries. I think that if I am following Jesus and honoring Him then my life should be much easier. But the Bible often states that the closer we follow Jesus, the harder life will be. I don’t think that this is always true, but it is certainly true often enough.

The Bible is very clear that we will endure suffering when we follow Him. In my mind that means we will have limited and defined periods of suffering surrounded by long periods of happiness and good times and birds singing and butterflies flittering and bees buzzing around the beautiful flowers in my world. It has upended everything I’ve always thought I believed about God and His ways to learn that this isn’t necessarily true. That sometimes life is just hard and sometimes suffering is long and sometimes long-suffering actually means looooooooooong suffering 🙂 .

Regardless of the life and boundaries God has for us, may we be found faithful. May we choose Him. In good times and hard times, in plenty and in want, may all that we have and all that we are be laid at His throne daily to be used for His purposes and His glory in His ways and in His time and for our good. Amen.

Thankful on Thanksgiving

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This journey I’m on has changed me, and not all of these changes are for the better. Some are … one cannot easily experience something without then having empathy and understanding for others who have and/or are experiencing the same or similar. I have a new level of compassion and understanding for caregivers and many other things I’m experiencing that I never dreamed or conceived I’d ever have to face. But I’ve noticed that gratitude has slipped. I don’t think it’s intentional so much as it’s been crowded out by all the necessary things and by the continuous battle with bitterness and anger (a battle that makes me angry that it exists in my life 🙂 ).

So this day set aside to focus on gratitude has opened my eyes to my critical need for a more grateful heart. In that light I just want to take the time to share how grateful I am for blogging and writing and for you. I may be a city girl in real life, but on the world wide web I’m very much a tiny town girl. I don’t want a big following and I don’t want to go viral. I love the people God has brought across my path through blogging over the twenty-plus years I’ve been writing through a blog, and I love how many of those people, many of you, have become friends in real life, too. Good friends.

I don’t pretend to understand it, but writing accesses a part of me that simply talking or interacting with others face-to-face does not access. It always amuses me how that happens … how I simply start writing and words appear and thoughts from parts of my heart and soul and mind flow … thoughts that if we were sitting across the table sharing a meal I may not be able to articulate as well or at all. Or at least that’s how it seems to me 🙂 .

So, thank you. Thank you for caring. Thank you for praying. Thank you for words of wisdom and instruction and even correction. Thank you for your support and encouragement. May God bless you exponentially for caring for me and mine 🙂 .

Today we shared a meal with my Nosy Neighbor next door. I think I need to come up with a different name for her as she has become a good friend. She IS nosy although she might not like that classification, but I like that our Neighborhood Watch Lady is doing her job and doing it well 🙂 . She’s twice widowed and never was able to have children and is very lonely. We had waaay tooo much food, and I made her laugh and smile as she exclaimed about that telling her that it was fun … because it’s not about the food but about having a reason to have the food, having someone to share the day with so we’re not alone, having a reason to make those special dishes. She’s tired tonight but a good kind of tired, and my soul is fulfilled.

I hope you have a reason to be thankful today. I know that some days and some seasons are just very dark and very hard, and if today is a day like that for you, I understand. (((hugs))) from cyberspace 🙂 .

Holy God, thank You for a day to stop and give thanks. All through the Bible You have created holidays, reasons to stop and remember and celebrate. Today we stop and pause and say, thank You. Thank You for being God, thank You for choosing to be our God, thank You for loving us so much that Jesus died for us. Thank You for knowing we are human and knowing we are but dust and knowing we struggle and stumble and for loving us anyway. Please open our eyes and ears often to all the things for which we can be grateful. May gratitude fill our souls and push out the darkness and the bitterness and the anger. Help us, help me, to change my perspective when I need to, to have eyes to see what You see and ears to hear what You ear and to choose to use my voice to speak the words You desire me to speak. Help me and enable me, Jesus, to align my heart and soul and mind and spirit to Yours. And thank You for these friends who You’ve brought across my path and into my life; how truly blessed I am because of them. Help me to remember to be grateful. Help me to choose gratitude and to desire to choose gratitude. You are amazing Holy God, and we worship and praise You. In Jesus’ Holy Name amen.

“if a man could be said to be loved by his son”

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I began reading the book Big Fish: A Novel of Mythic Proportions, and this from pp21-22 is a part of the discussion between a young man and his dying father:

“I’ll tell you what the problem was,” he says, lifting his hand from my knee and motioning for me to come closer. And I do. I want to hear. The next word could be his last.

“I wanted to be a great man,” he whispers.

“Really?” I say, as if this comes as some sort of surprise to me.

“Really,” he says. His words come slow and weak but steady and strong in feeling and thought. “Can you believe it? I thought it was my destiny. A big fish in a big pond—that’s what I wanted. That’s what I wanted from day one. I started small. For a long time I worked for other people. Then I started my own business. I got these molds and I made candles in the basement. That business failed. I sold baby’s breath to floral shops. That failed. Finally, though, I got into import/export and everything took off. I had dinner with a prime minister once, William. A prime minister! Can you imagine, this boy from Ashland having dinner in the same room with a—. There’s not a continent I haven’t set foot on. Not one. There are seven of them, right? I’m starting to forget which ones I . . . never mind. Now all that seems so unimportant, you know? I mean, I don’t even know what a great man is anymore—the, uh, prerequisites. Do you, William?”

“Do I what?”

“Know,” he says. “Know what makes a man great.”

I think about this for a long time, secretly hoping he forgets he ever asked the question. His mind has a way of wandering, but something in the way he looks at me says he’s not forgetting anything now, he’s holding on tight to that thought, and he’s waiting for my answer. I don’t know what makes a man great. I’ve never thought about it before. But at a time like this “I don’t know” just won’t do. This is an occasion one rises to, and so I make myself as light as possible and wait for a lift.

“I think,” I say after a while, waiting for the right words to come, “that if a man could be said to be loved by his son, then I think that man could be considered great.”

For this is the only power I have, to bestow upon my father the mantle of greatness, a thing he sought in the wider world, but one that, in a surprise turn of events, was here at home all along.

“Ah,” he says, “those parameters,” he says, stumbling over the word, all of a sudden seeming slightly woozy. “Never thought about it in those terms, exactly. Now that we are, though, thinking about it like that, I mean, in this case,” he says, “in this very specific case, mine—”

“Yeah,” I say. “You are hereby and forever after my father, Edward Bloom, a Very Great Man. So help you Fred.”

And in lieu of a sword I touch him once, gently, on the shoulder.

With these words he seems to rest.

I read this to my daughter and couldn’t get through it without crying … because that’s the kind of greatness I’ve always longed for and am eternally blessed that it’s the kind of greatness both my girls bestow upon me.

Thank You, Holy God, for my precious daughters; truly they are gifts from You, my miracle babies. All my life I wanted to be a wife and mother, and You graciously permitted that. Cover and seal my daughters with You, with Your Blood, with Your Protection, with Your Power. Wash all in and through them with Your wisdom and discernment and discretion and knowledge and mercy and grace. Raise them up to be and become all You designed and created them to be and become before the foundation of the world. And thank You, thank You, for gifting them to me; I am so eternally grateful and blessed. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.