bluejayblog

“Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.”–John F. Kennedy

There are some people who impress us with their public presentation and are equally impressive because of their minds. That is, their exterior and their interior align in a deep way. They are not all window dressing, the wise face they present to the public comes from profound wisdom they have cultivated over the years. After spending time in conversation with them, one comes to the conclusion that such a person posesses integrity and depth.

I had the privilege of working for such a man. Jerry was the publisher of our town’s newspaper. In the true sense of the words, Jerry was an important man in the community. He was a quiet man in the sense that he did not need to push his weight around to prove any need for respect. Although I rarely agreed with his political opinions, his views made good sense and he could back them up with healthy reasoning.

To the outside world, Jerry wore conventional business suits everywhere he went except to the gym. He drove an older, black Cadillac Sedan DeVille that was always clean and presentable. The car was nothing spectacular, but it reflected Jerry’s personality with classic looks and more than adequate practicality. He lived in the “nice” part of town in an appropriate house that did not stand out from the others. There were more elegant homes in his neighborhood than Jerry’s home.

Most outsiders knew that Jerry was also a man of the world. He enjoyed playing golf and other athletic activities–but he was not a “jock”. He had smart business sense that he applied to ownership of other newspapers and a chain of broadcast stations. He was well connected but never name-dropped even though most town folks knew that Johnny Carson always stayed at Jerry’s home whenever he visited Norfolk. Those visits were more frequent than outsiders could ever guess.

It was during one on one conversations that you could feel and see his profound character. The main thing you noticed was that he listened much more than he talked. He was an old style journalist at heart, so he asked plenty of questions. That said, one never felt like he was interrogating you. He seemed to want to know about you as a person, not as a source for a news story. His inquiries revealed his deep curiosity about people and the world around him. You understood that he was searching for knowledge and wisdom by the nature of his questions.

When he did speak with you in private, his statements came from someone who had cultivated deep self awareness and rock steady ethical values. His words were not knee-jerk reactions to circumstances, they came from a mind that engaged in regular, quiet introspection. After his answers to your own questions about him, he returned to inquiring about situations from your point of view. This led one to see that he was dedicated to understanding the reasons beind your emotions and thoughts.

One may aspire to be someone like Jerry, but not a photocopy of him. Although one might not care less about being a newspaper publisher, one’s heart may be ready for anything else in other fields of endeavor or simply in the manner by which one lives life. To be a person of depth does not require one to be sucessful in the conventional, social definition of the term nor to be a humble monk who lives a quiet life in solitude.

If one’s heart is truly open to anything, one accepts losses as well as gains. We grieve our lost youth and lost loves. We understand changes in our capacities to do things. We deeply know our impermanence in this swiftly changing world. We are irrelevant to most people on Earth, but we are important to our families and friends if we still have them. We are relevant to ourselves.

We go beyond textbook knowledge and videos from personal-development lifestyle gurus. We explore the frontiers and wilderness of the world both figuratively and literally. We take those experiences to heart and integrate them into our mental library of wisdom. Such depth is the stuff of being fully human. It is joi de vivre–the joy of living.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes American diarist, essayist, and short story writer, Anaïs Nin. “I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”