Happy birthday, S!

Dear S,

Twelve years ago today, you made me a mom. I can’t believe it’s been that long, sweetie. You’re growing into such a thoughtful, kind, sweet, and beautiful young lady (ack! You’re a young lady!). Thank you for all you do to help with the younger kids and set a good example for them.  I hope your birthday is great!

Happy birthday, sweetie! I love you!

Love,

Mom

Happy birthday, twins!

A2—you've really come into your own over the last month, and it's been wonderful to see. I think you'll always be a shy kid, but I love that you know what you want and you let us know. You are such a sweet, tender-hearted boy with a deep love and loyalty to the favorite people in your life. And even though you're pretty quiet when compared to your little sister, it's so much fun to take you somewhere on your own and watch you open up and talk up a storm. Happy birthday, big boy!

N—I've never met a smaller person with a bigger personality. I love that you make friends everywhere you go and that you tell stories with such animation. Sometimes your energy level is a little daunting, but I love that you're always up for a cuddle with Mom. I hope that never changes. And I love that even though you aren't shy like your brother, you would still rather have him next to you in a new situation. Happy birthday, sweet girl!

Progress

Since I've devoted space on this blog complaining about A2's lack of interest in potty training, I thought it was only fair to report his progress. Up until a few weeks ago, I didn't feel like we had made very much progress—or, at least, the progress was painfully slow. He was doing well with pee, but still doing pretty horribly with poop. I was trying different things to help with his redundant colon, but nothing seemed to be working.

At the end of June, we went on our beach trip. I had him drink prune juice a few times and he went on walks almost every day with his dad to get a fresh fruit smoothie. And he didn't have one accident. In fact, he hasn't had one since our trip. He still isn't as regular as I would like, but I think with his digestive issues, his "regular" may be different from other kids, but that's ok. And he goes to the potty when he needs to and does most everything himself.

What's even more exciting is his change in attitude in the past few weeks. He's less stubborn and more willing to listen to reason. He's a little bit more outgoing and seems excited to talk with people outside of our immediate family, which has been a stumbling block for him in the past. I'm so proud of the strides he's made in the past few weeks. I'm not sure if the trip helped, or why it even would, but whatever the reason, I am so thrilled.

Of course, his twin sister has decided to pee in her underwear OUTSIDE a few times, and seems to be incapable of getting on the toilet by herself, so I guess if it's not one thing, it's another!

A week at the beach

We just returned from a week at a beach house with A's family in southern California. In a word, it was relaxing. I don't always come back from vacations feeling relaxed—in fact, I often want a vacation from the vacation. But this one really was pretty relaxing. We spent quite a bit of time at the beach, playing in the sand, making sand castles, and enjoying the waves. As expected, N pretty much swam in the sand. Also as expected, A2 wanted nothing to do with the water. "It's going to get me!" (And when I thought about what the waves would seem like to a hesitant three year-old, I realized he had a point.)

We went to the San Diego County fair and enjoyed carnival rides and even a deep-fried Klondike bar (heavenly!). We went to SeaWorld and saw killer whales, dolphins, sea lions, polar bears, and more. My husband even took the older boys to LegoLand and they had a grand time.

It was such a wonderful family vacation and everyone's already planning next year's trip!

This last one was taken at SeaWorld, not long after the one above it, actually. These two were DONE with the day, and being a nice mom, I decided to capture the tantrum for posterity. :)

Happy birthday, Mr. T!

Happy birthday, Mr. T! You’ve been counting down the days until your birthday, and I hope it’s as great a day as you hoped it would be. I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I held you in my arms in the early hours of May 16, 2005. You’re a bright, imaginative, hilarious boy, and I’m so glad you’re part of our family.

Love, Mom

Discovery

When I was a kid, I dreamed of the day I would be a writer—a real writer. I wrote tons of short stories when I was a child, mostly about slavery in the South and the Holocaust (random and very depressing, I know). Choosing to major in English in college seemed like a natural next step in my quest to be a writer. After college, I took a job as a writer/editor at a natural supplement company. I enjoyed the work but always assumed it would be a stepping stone to what I really wanted to do.

Over the past few years, I've come to a very different realization. I still love writing. But where I always saw myself as the next great novelist, I finally understand that I kind of suck at writing fiction. I have the hardest time coming up with cool characters and storylines. I'm much better at writing non-fiction.

But what I've really figured out is that I love editing. I used to think that being an editor sounded so boring. But I really enjoy taking a document that needs help and making it better—more concise, more interesting, and more focused to its audience. Even when it's a long and difficult process, I always feel such satisfaction—maybe even joy—when I realize that what I've done is good, really good.

So, maybe I'll never write a great novel. Maybe I'll write an awesome non-fiction book someday. But I'm grateful that I finally realized that being an editor is a critical part of the creative process. It's nice to feel like I'm good at what I do. And yes, I do find joy in making ticky, tacky grammar changes. I love being an editor.

H the awesome!

Dear H,

I have to laugh every time I see that you've identified yourself as "H the awesome" at the top of your homework. I'm sure it gives your teacher a laugh as well. I'm glad to see that as a new nine year-old kid, you have a good sense of confidence. I'm glad that you decided to play baseball this year. It's been great to see, once again, how much you enjoy it. I love to watch you create your amazing drawings, come up with games with T, and patiently play with the twins. I hope their love for you and your patience for them never go away.

I hope this year brings lots of fun, adventure, learning, and growth for you. You're a wonderful, special, bright, and fantastic boy. And I'm so happy you're mine.

Happy birthday!

Love, Mom

Recent happenings

Well, March flew by, of course. In the beginning of the month, we went to one of A's bike races as a family. I'm really trying to do more small trips with the kids, in the hopes that someday, trips in general won't fill me with fear and stress. And little ones are easier to handle anyway. We went hiking as a family, and surprisingly, even the little kids did pretty well.

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For Cub Scouts, H had a potato derby this year instead of a pinewood derby. I was skeptical about it at first, but it was a lot less stress on the parents and I think the boys had fun without worrying too much about how fast or cool their car looked.

S and I went to an Anne of Green Gables play at a local theater. The production was small, but the cast was great. I'm glad that I can share my love of Anne with my daughter.

And lastly, H did the 3rd grade wax museum project at school. He chose James Naismith, the inventor of basketball. (Well, he wanted to do a football player but couldn't find a chapter book on anyone noteworthy, so A's sister came to the rescue with a book about James Naismith.) He did a great job on the report and I was proud of him!

Baseball?

It's baseball season once again. In our house, this amounts to many discussions with H about whether or not he'll play. Every year, he drags his feet and says he doesn't want to. And every year, we remind him how much he enjoys playing baseball. He really does love playing it once he gets going. He loves the practices, the games, and wearing the uniform. Last year, he made the all-star team and loved every minute of it.

This year, A and I can't seem to convince H to play. At all. We've talked about it ad nauseum, asked him why he doesn't want to play, and reminded him about all the things he loves about baseball. Nothing. The registration deadline was Sunday, so we finally gave up. Then, I got an email that registration had been extended until Wednesday. Great, but not so great.

This morning, I asked H to finish this sentence: "I don't want to play baseball because ___________." He couldn't do it. A and I strongly suspect that this H's reasons for not wanting to play are part laziness and part fear. He likes to draw and play with his friends and play video games, and maybe doesn't want to have to work hard. Also, H likes to do things that he's good at, and kid pitch baseball is a little more challenging, and makes him a little nervous.

For FHE last night, we talked (coincidentally, actually) about challenges in life and doing things that might make us nervous but end up being great in the long run. I casually threw baseball into the conversation but I don't think he got the message. I don't want H to hate baseball, but I do want him to challenge himself more than he does in normal life. I think it's something everyone needs from time to time.

How far do I push this? At what point do I give up?

Together

A2 is not the most easygoing kid. He is often very shy, sometimes painfully so. He sometimes has OCD issues and definitely likes things a certain way. This can represent a lot of challenges for me, particularly when I'm in a hurry or trying to deal with the other kids in the family. 

A few weeks ago, as I was dealing with an A2 issue of some kind, I had a thought—a lightning-bolt, revelatory, kind of thought—"The twins came together so N could help A2." The thought almost immediately made me cry (and I'm crying as I write this, actually).

I've always thought it's interesting that the twins are so incredibly different. N is so outgoing (almost to a fault) and A2 is so not. But after I had that revelation, I started to think back on their relationship. It actually wasn't that long ago that most interactions between the two of them ended with N crying because A2 had whacked her with a toy. But that's changed in the past few months. Now, they play together better. They whisper about things and make up games to play. And, A2 opens up more when he's around her. A2 is very suspicious of people he doesn't know, and N says hello to everyone she sees. When they're together, A2 will talk to people, almost as if he's braver when she's around.

I don't pretend to understand how things work in heaven, why some spirits get sent to specific families. I don't fully comprehend why these two little people came to earth together, but I like to think that A2 and N knew they were coming to our family and asked if they could come together. I hope that their relationship will continue to grow and that N will continue to give A2 that little extra boost of confidence that he needs.

Every day I pray

Every morning, I say a prayer before I get up. The prayer varies, but I always pray for patience with my kids, especially on school mornings. I pray that I'll be able to be patient with my kids and start the morning off well.

And then the children wake up.

Or rather, I coax and cajole them out of bed for 15 minutes. Then they take 15 minutes to get ready. They fight with each other, yell at each other, refuse to eat breakfast, forget things upstairs that they need to take to school, and complain when I tell them they actually need to wear coats because it's frigid outside.

Some days, like today, I don't have patience. I yell for them to hurry up, eat faster, leave the twins alone, and just stop fighting!

But some days, I actually do have some patience. I take deep breaths when H tortures A2 about a toy or S and T get into another argument about something that's absolutely not important. I'm able to read morning scriptures without raising my voice because family members are actually within listening distance, rather than spread throughout the house.

Today was not one of those days, but I still pray every morning. For patience. For all of us.