Cancer sucks

UPDATE ON BOTTOM

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Dad is home. After fighting cancer all week/weekend - he is home.

We showed up in Arlington for his surgery Thursday morning around 10 a.m. His wife was with him, and her parents, along with her cousin, my hub, and myself. Close to noon he got taken into the prep room and after a few minutes we were allowed to go back there and visit with him. He seemed quite nervous, rightly so. We laughed about the nice stockings he had to wear.

He looked mighty tan and svelte with them on! haha. The doctor was running late so we tried to entertain dad with our bad jokes. I was putting on quite a brave face for him the entire waiting time. That face broke once he was ready to go into surgery. The doctor, nurse, and anesthesiologist stepped out so that we could say our goodbyes. Dad called everyone over and asked for a prayer. His wife's dad led us into the prayer, as we all joined hands around dad, asking to keep dad safe and help the doctors and nurses do the best job they can. Then they briskly wheeled him off. Too fast for my liking. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. When are we ever?

I'm still crying about it while I type it out - it's still difficult to process everything - that my DAD has/had cancer. It's something I'd never thought I'd say. Dads are supposed to rope the moon for their daughters, nothing can hurt them - they are John freakin' Wayne...strong as an ox with minimal emotions. Dads aren't supposed to be this cancer-stricken, weak, sad, scared, nervous, person - not to daddy's girls.

Dad's surgery took 3 1/2 hours. He started around 2 and finished at 5:30. The doctor removed the right kidney and adrenal gland. He didn't get to look at the left kidney - we were told by the MRI results that it has lesions and abnormal growths....his GOOD kidney. The doctor didn't look at it because his surgery was done laprascopically and he couldn't see it. However, he *thinks* it is fine for right now and we are just supposed to keep a close and frequent eye on it. I think there will be a CT scan pretty close in dad's future just to make sure.

Dad was in recovery for another 3 1/2 hours. He finally got wheeled up to his room around 9 pm. It seemed like forever. I brought homework, laptop (but no wifi there - bummer), big-ass Harry Potter (#5), but didn't even open any of them...too busy pacing and shaking my leg up and down...biding time.

Seeing him roll down in the bed to his room half way awake was the best thing I've seen in a long time. He made it! I stayed the night with him the first night. His wife took the cot and I used a chair and laid my head on the desk. Talk about no sleeping....I couldn't sleep b/c I was uncomfortable but mainly b/c I wanted to keep a close eye on him. They nurses got him up early that morning (5:00 a.m.) to walk! He needed to walk to get his circulation moving as well as that gas! His stomach was pumped up full of gas and he needed to *ahem* let it escape. haha. For the longest time his stomach rumbled but nothing ever came out. He finally started passing some gas which is good. If he didn't, it would have meant that the intestines were not put back in correctly and they'd have to do another surgery to fix it and untangle them. ugh. The next night I drove home and that morning drove

in with the hub and daughter. Emma really enjoyed helping her Pappy walk down the hall. She watched him closely and made sure he was walking right and didn't fall.

Sunday I drove in that morning by myself and helped him get ready to go home. I got his prescriptions for him and bought a couple of pillows so that he could hold one across his stomach on the long drive home. It's about a 3 1/2 (seems like a magical number) hour drive for them. I offered my place to them so he could only drive about 40 mins. and rest for another couple of days, but he was just ready to see his own place again. Sometimes there's nothing like sleeping in your own bed, so I completely understood.

So, he has to really watch what he eats with his diabetes now that he only has one (hopefully good) kidney left. If something is wrong with this kidney, looks like I'll be doing some match testing to see if I'll be a match. That's a scary feeling in itself....especially since there's a chance I'll have this cancer, since it is hereditary.

But he is home...and that's good. I'm a bit sad because I can't just hop on over and check on him. I can no longer help him because he lives far away from me. It's just up to his wife and her parents. It's not a jealousy feeling I have...but a need to help my dad really. His wife tends to stress out in front of him and that worries me. I stress but put on a good face in front of him. She's already worrying about the other kidney in front of him...I keep saying that it's going to be just fine...positive thinking! I don't want dad to worry anymore than he has to. I hope she starts feeling the same way soon.

I have already bought and shipped a light blue with orange ribbon shirt that says, "I survived kidney cancer" and he should be getting it this week or early next week. I also bought his wife a tote bag with a message of hope for a cure for kidney cancer. I'm going to be on the lookout for the orange bracelets (it used to be green but they are changing it).

I'm going to have to combat this cancer for myself too. I'm trying to eat healthier and exercise more. My dad isn't obese, but he is a bit overweight. That doesn't help with kidney cancer...so I'm trying to change my lifestyle up a bit. He is too young to be going through this.

Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, support, and friendship through this ordeal. It's great to have such nice friends to help me along in this mess. I appreciate each one of you. Jen - we need to go do lunch soon. :) I miss ya girl.

~CK

When you get cancer, it's like really time to look at what your life was and is, and I decided that everything I've done so far is not as important as what I'm going to do now. Herbie Mann

*********************UPDATE ***************************

I bought and sent dad this shirt so he would have it soon and so glad his wife took a picture of it. Cafepress.com had an XL and then a 2XL - nothing in between...so it's a bit big. I'm just happy he has his color back in his face and is looking great!

Dad update

Updated on the bottom:

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I just finished watching Michael Moore's "Sicko" and damned if it didn't mention all of these kidney cancer patients dying because of not having healthcare. Might as well called each and everyone of them "dad." Thanks Michael.

Yep, he doesn't have health insurance. He was paying for it but it was over $600/month and so he dropped it because he couldn't afford it. Cue mean ass kidney cancer to come in....and voila. Shit load of problems.

So dad is having surgery to remove the entire kidney on Thursday, March 12 at 7 am in Arlington. They wanted to schedule him for April 9 but his wife, thankfully, put her foot down and said no - find an appt. sooner or we'll find another doctor. So they "squeezed" him in.

I'm really worried about him having just one kidney because of his diabetes. I hope he can get that under control better.

So now I'm thinking I'll be supporting my dad soon. No health insurance - having kidney cancer - equals bad news. I wished he had insurance...but what can I do?

I think if the documentary hadn't mentioned people dying of kidney cancer that didn't have insurance...I'd be feeling a little bit better now. Instead I feel worse about this situation for him.

From what I gather, it's hard to find information out of him other than "I'm fine," it's in a Stage 2 heading into 3. They will be doing X-rays and other tests (blood, EKG, etc.) before surgery to make sure it hasn't spread. Kidney cancer usually spreads to liver, lungs, then bone.

A little bit of history:
I don't speak to my mother anymore...haven't in years. She's a mental nutcase. I don't have anything to do with any of dad's brothers or sisters because they sold my grandparents farm to make a little money when they requested in the will it stay in the family. They fought my dad until he couldn't pay for the lawyer fees anymore for months. My dad is my only family, besides my hub and daughter and hub's parents, I have left. I swear if anything happens to him....I just don't know how I'd cope.

He has to pull through....medically and financially. This will not ruin him.

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UPDATE:

Just got word today that dad's MRI showed lesions and abnormal growths on his GOOD KIDNEY!!! WTF.....seriously...throw me a bone here....

My Dad

My dad is a strong man. He never cries, is never hurt, is...basically Superman. Or so I thought.

He called me this morning to tell me that he has kidney cancer. It was missed by one doctor that dumbly stated he just needed to remove part of his prostate to heal his massive blood clots that he was passing. He went for a second opinion this afternoon and they found a cancer tumor on his right kidney. They believe it is in Stage 2, but not for certain until they go in there and find out. He's having more scans and tests run and will probably have surgery to remove the cancer and kidney in a couple of weeks.

Even though I barely know most of you, my readers, I am still asking for prayers, white light, positive thoughts, etc. for my dad. He's the only one of my family left that I have a relationship with anymore - because the rest of them are looney and crazy as hell. He's my rock....

Things seem positive, even considering the fact that he has cancer. It's only (ha...only) in Stage 2, they believe it's only on one kidney, they may be able to save part of the kidney.

But then I start researching it and thinking, what if it's not just in Stage 2, what if it has spread into the renal glands, lymph nodes, and what if they have to take the whole kidney? Would it be better to take the entire kidney just in case it decides to come back? What if they take the kidney and cancer has spread to his "good" kidney? Will they have to take that one out too? Would he be on dialysis? Need a transplant? How far on the list will he be for one? Am I a match for his kidney? Could I donate a kidney to him? What happens if I inherit this cancer and I only have one kidney because I donated mine to him?

et cetera.....ad nauseum.....

I'm a pathetic mess, really.

This is my dad with his wife, Linda and the lil dancer girl after one of her recitals.

"I’ll start in the middle: Winter 2006: I’m sitting topless in the oncologist’s office on Valentine’s Day. Cancer is a bitch. It doesn’t give a shit about holidays." — Gail Konop Baker (Cancer Is a Bitch:)