This is the journey of my soul back to God. It is my dark night which lasted for many years and carried me here and there across the expanse of this world, in the folds of a God unknown to me, whom I heard calling by name from the depths of my heart. It is the wanderings of a poet, who so blessed and graced by the Divine, came to the feet of mystics, saints and spiritual teachers, to receive from their hands the quenching of my thirst. It is the journey of an inner dying, a bewilderment of the mind, before the over- whelming senses within, inexplicable to my intellect, incomprehensible to the world. It is the journey of a young seeker, unprepared for the initiations of such a journey, yet being protected, sustained and guided by the unseen Hand. It is the journey of abandonment, the release from this world into a hidden state, a cloud of light.
My gratitude rests deeply with a few I have known along the way, whose compassion and companionship of my mind and soul have caused me to enter the New Life.
DEDICATION
WHY I WRITE
I write to please my Beloved that for a moment His creation can rest lightly in the heart of a poet.
Wandering Poet Beloved Friend No Question Flower Among Thorns Form and Color What Is Inside Warm Spring That I Share Integrity The Stem and Blossom Beautiful Woman Lost in Love What I Give My Eyes
My heart, I cannot cry out to you as to where I am and how I see the flower within you.
SYMPTOMS
A doctor looks for the symptoms of the disease and tries to cure it. But the disease of the heart can only be treated with love.
WITHOUT HOPE
What hope for my heart if my mind lacks understanding? A friend said to me, "I will meet you when your thoughts are nearer to me." I ponder his meaning until my feelings ache, my mind beats as a drum, and my body weakens, desires rest. I ask myself, why must it be so hard? Why must I put off what can be done now to wait till later? This perplexes me. I fall asleep to try again. I wonder if he is in such a haste to meet me.
CLOUDS
Clouds are bursting within me. I huddle near a flame that burns in my heart, in fear that the clouds should bring thunder instead of rain.
I AM LONELY
I am lonely for my Lover. His love does not sing clearly in me. I lay waste to all that I claim as mine for I know this is falsehood. If I am to enter His kingdom I must be as a retiring guest.
SITTING AND LONGING
I sit and long for His company. I realize how separated I am from Him. I long for life and my love grows for me to awaken to Him.
MY SENSITIVITY
My sensitivity to life is similar to the Autumn leaf being blown. I feel the pressure of intense minds. Yet something within me sustains me. As the Autumn leaf I also am blown toward love where I find refuge.
He is waiting for me with kisses for my heart and stars for my unseeing eyes. I tarry too long over His festival and forget He waits. But He is patience the brook of understanding.
YOUNG WOMAN
I met a young woman by the seaside. As we became acquainted we began sharing secrets of our hearts. She told me how her life was at a standstill and that each day she went to the sea to await guidance.
She touched my heart with her sincerity. I asked her what I could do. She said, "Nothing, I must wait." I decided to wait with her.
THE VEIL OF VEILS
Love is coming to me in plaintive cries. The veil that has hidden love is being lifted from my eyes.
THE LAST FRIEND, MY BELOVED
Oh dearly Beloved my last friend has forsaken me so we may draw closer our hearts. Oh Beloved the rain is spent and the dreary streets are quiet now. People talk incessantly of their love for You and I shut my ears to their useless chatterings knowing in our quietude we meet.
A MODERATE HEART
There is no moderation for the heart. Either it gushes forth like a fountain or trickles as a spring.
POETS
I read Your beloved poets a heart given to a few men. To be a real poet is no easy task. As You have said, "To love God is not for the weak hearted." I press Your words to my heart praying that my fraility may be- come strength in Your love.
BIRD OF HEART
The heart is like a bird in a cage. It can neither fly nor be freed. It is a yearning of the heart to shed this body as a snake sheds skin.
THE EGO OF MINE
This ego of mine is killing me. Is there not a cure? Baba says, "Divine Love." What remedy is this? Baba says, "Truth." I laugh to His words. Music flows in my ears. My chest heaves as the birth of my heart sighs.
IGNORANCE
My ignorance is a shield to fend off the arrows of truth. The shield is very thick and welded heavy, coated with fear. It makes me sick and tired. I will give it to Him to destroy with love.
HUMILITY
I am not worthy, Beloved. In this world have I laughed and sorrowed only waiting waiting for You. Many have asked me, "What am I doing here?" I answer with a tear.
You are beautiful the way you are a projecting moon beam amidst glistening stars. A sensitive breath filled with the perfume fragrance of dear life. You are beautiful as the Summer sunset casts reflections upon the water.
A pure soul, an honest soul a loving soul. A soul to touch and like the lithe young willow tree that grows from the Earth to immerse with All.
THE SUN OF YOUR FACE
The sun of Your face is warmth and the moon of Your eye is cool refreshment. The stars twinkle to Your radiant light and my heart bursts with tears.
OH FRIEND
Oh Friend let us go walking into the night when the sun is down and the stars are bright. Let us walk hand and hand through the night.
MY FEAR
I become so frightened when I do not remember You and the world closes me. Oh Ancient One how can I live without You?
REMEMBRANCE
Fond remembrance passes through me when in my dream state Thy face appears. Like the clouds passing by the pull of a swift wind I experience Thy bliss and feel the loss of Thy face only remember Thee my Lord.
THE WAY
Let your heart lead the way for only your heart knows the way.
DARK AND LIGHT
I enter the darkest of the dark and lightest light. I enter the present without hope for the future and death to the past. I enter the heart never to return.
PERFECTION
How fortunate is Hafiz's perfection. How unfortunate is my lot. I am sour dough. Gladly I would die today to be perfect in Your love. But how can I die? My hands are emptied by my heart's desire and they are full from separation. What a dilemma my soul places me in. Duality! I have much to sell. I have neither the ears to hear with nor the eyes to see. What grief I am caused. When I was ignorant of All Things being You then I was a simpleton. Now You cast me out from nights of ignorance and bar that door. How long do I stand in darkness? How many steps are there to climb? I know not who I am or what You are though I feel You inside and call You Father.
I see ovens to bake me as dough into fresh bread. Yet I alone have not the strength to step inside the oven to be baked. I do not fear the oven for I can understand its purpose. But I cannot understand what it is to be baked in God's oven. This troubles me and I do not know what to think. Rest assured my heart I am tenderising myself to be baked. But oh what feeling to be uncompleted work. What mixture is missing in my dough that causes it not to be fit for baking? I know baked bread is for consuming. Well, when will I ever taste that Good?
This morning I awoke Beloved One and my heart was like a fountain empty of water. Before, the birds were chirping and the sun was rising from the other side of the Earth Knower of my heart my suffering began for Thee. Today this poor heart of mine is broken and the strain is nearly beyond endurance. Oh Infinite One, what share in Thy wealth is alloted to me that I must pass this day with the sorrows of a broken heart and the joy of Thy Divine Compassion. All words have been spoken in me like a tidal wave bursting upon the shore and all thoughts are deadening within my senses. Oh Heart of my heart hear this simple cry from this poor heart of mine.
EXPECTATION
The time of waiting for Thee is hard. I sleep with the palms of my hands pressed against my heart to ease the pain of separation. Days pass by and I await Thy Miracle of miracles to make me as Thyself. Oh Dreamer of my dream this pain is Thy blessing's touch.
THE CALL
You called me, I came. There was nothing else to do. At night and in the day You say to me, "There is nothing else to do."
INTOXICATION
Today as many days Beloved has made me drunk to taste His brimming cup, a draught of love. He steadies my mind and dizzies my thoughts. He gives to me the remembrance of His lovely name the sound charms my heart. Beloved there is only You. He allows me to witness the veil of the ego. I have yet to cross to the other side. In Him I patiently abide. When the time is ripe it will happen a pure kiss from the lips of love. What a great blessing to call His name to feel within the heart throbbing. He has taken me step by step. Now He gives me light sleep in His arms I who am a man becoming a child.
THE LOVER'S VOICE
Touch the Earth and sky. Touch the land and the stars the ever flowing stream of life. Touch all things for all is part of you. Touch me through the Lover's voice in your heart. Touch these songs of eternal greeting for our Lover calls.
YOUR TOUCH
Your touch is my life when I drift into the melody struck by Your love and witness my heart playing childlike.
SONGS OF LOVE
Songs of love pour forth where my heart whispers to my mind her secrets. I listen stark naked before the Voice.
QUEST FOR UNION
The flowers are gay as I march with the quest for union and the sky is a jewelled door opening to Him. When I arrive He will paint my life with Eternal Love.
THE BIRD OF SOUL
The sound of the morning birds gladdens my heart. The birds and myself are one family. Together we greet His daylight with cheers and songs.
MIRROR OF MYSELF
The trees are decorating His earth for me to enjoy and the gardener works trimming the landscape so nothing of nature is hidden from my view. I behold passersby as mirrors of my self. Today I am helpless in the endless arms of His love.
A wandering poet filled with the awe for splendid nature was resting beneath a tree absorbed in the sky. The Springtime shade from the branches left God's shadows on the ground. The clouds sometimes barring the sun rays added more shadows upon the earth. The poet sat under the cool shade looking at the sky considered all these reflections of forms of the greatness of God's Art Work. He became enraptured with the colors. With the penetrating forces of his thought the poet lost himself in the panorama and gave a sigh saying,"Oh God, You are beyond me. It is enough to know You are all this and more. Let me just learn to love You."
The moment passed like a breath. The poet regained normal consciousness. Stretching out his legs, seeing a bird take flight, he began to swoon once more. He was overcome with the depth of God's images, this time to fly with God's bird. He said to himself, "Oh God, truly You are beyond me. The best I can do is love You."
Then he landed....
BELOVED FRIEND
Nature is whistling, Beloved Friend, How pleased everything is. My Comrade, can we not remain here in the forest?
NO QUESTION
I seldom question what to do and where to look. The earth has served me well. Her life was my school yard. The journey outward is ended. The journey within has begun. I know He is waiting for me to win my purpose.
FLOWER AND THORNS
My love is a flower among thorns always bleeding yet fragrant. As an ocean deep blue yet always a crescent wave. One light to another light always meeting with rays. A purple cloud, a gray cloud always the same. My love breaths in then breaths out then breaths in again.
FORM AND COLOR
A flower is dying not from need of light nor lacking of water does this flower wither.
My heart watches daily as the flower fades and silently I say, 'Beautiful flower you are but a moment's color and form in His vast garden.'
WHAT IS INSIDE
The plant is in the vase. They take their stand together upon a windowsill. Outside is the air of city life and inside is the tranquility of a garden.
WARM SPRING
My mood is a warm Spring night and my heart goes out to breath everything. I fill the darkness with joy as the lamps light the way to allow me to see. Tonight I feel calm and tranquil in His beautiful world.
THAT I SHARE
I would that I may share this night with you as companions with Him to gaze into one another's heart and touch as children our life source.
INTEGRITY
Without the plant the sun has no purpose. Without the sun the plant has no life.
THE STEM AND THE BLOSSOM
The bud grows from the stem only to blossom and my words like the bud sprout from my heart.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Beautiful woman where are you going? The colors of the sky and the princely clothes you wear add to make your own textures of love. But what of your Beloved's love? Where there is room only for yourself how can my Lover caress your heart?
LOST IN LOVE
I am drowning in love. My eyes are blind to everything but love. My thoughts are love's thoughts. My lips move from the sound of love. I am drowning in love without a care.
WHAT I GIVE YOU
Let me give you my love. The source is musical. Words swaying and weaving the tune of tunes, my heart.
MY EYES
I will feast my eyes upon the colors of love and quench my thirst at the spring for joy. There I will build a nest fashioned from His Being and remain there to play at His feet in fun and frolic.
VI. ALONE
MELODY OF ONE NOTE
The divineness of Thy love is ever drawing closer and closer the strings of my mind and heart. The tune I hear within is ever fresher and newer With one melody and one note. It is the wording of Thy praise and Thy remembrance.
The poet's song when sung from the heart is a pure stream enveloping the soul's heart.
PRAYING
Oh God, send me such gifts that only Your love abides in my heart and like a lake my mind rests in peace knowing there is only You. As the Springtime brings the flowers into blossom let Thy love of me in You bring gifts of flowers to Your many loving souls. And as the Fall withers to the snowy curtain of Winter may I be for You warmth for others in their coldest moment. And as the sun heats the days and moon cools the nights could I not also be both a dawn and a kiss goodnight for Thee.
A SPECTACLE OF THE DIVINE
In one moment the heart sprung open to a beauty a spectacle divine. In this light where the stars halt and all things in the turning of Eternity cease in the silent sleep of His Ocean.
STREAM OF LOVE
From my heart pours forth a stream consumed within love speaking a language formed with words. A sensitive feeling an eye-taught message.
YOU ARE ME
Your temple is my head. I close my eyes to see it. Your holiness is my feet to walk the Earth. And Your divine love is my heart's throbbing.
VISION
One moment of silence with Him touching my heart as if the sky was at my feet and the sun breaking into golden haze as if the Earth was in the sky and the ocean pounded the seashore creating New Life.
HIS ONE
He is the endless stream of life. He crawls like the worm and soars as a bird. His will is the roar of the ocean and the clap of a thunderous sky. In my heart He too dwells speaking a language of feeling expressing in me the Nature of Being.
