There were a lot of people asking me whether I'm okay. I sincerely appreciate those who have been talking to me, accompanying me....etc. I'm fine, still pushing through. And I know no matter how sad I am, life still goes on.

I didn't mean to make everyone worried about me. Writing that extremely emo post is just a way for me to let off my feelings. I'm not that kind of bitch would cry over the street, ranting and whining that how bad the world has treated me.

I got a lot of comments saying that my life always easily gets affected by the others. Well, I know that, I freakin' know that. I always tell myself that I shouldn't let others' problems clinging on me yet I still couldn't avoid that to happen.

And someone who is very important to me told me that, I have been too sensitive and I always over-analyse things by my own. I strongly agree with this although I feel bad when he told me this. I know my thoughts always run too far away that people can't even imagine. And it makes everything worse as my emo virus spreads rapidly when my thoughts run wild.

I know all of these caused myself ultimately stressed. And the stress level has gone beyond my limits until I got myself haunted by nightmares again and again since last two nights ago. It even happened when I was taking nap in the afternoon. The dreams were so similar. Then I screamed over my bed until I woke up. I remember this happened once in my life time when I was dumped by my first ex. I know this is another lowest pit of my life. And I also know that things may go worse if I allow to.


Somehow, I believe,

If happiness don't last, neither can sorrow.


Trust me, I can handle this, my friends.

The world is so complicated.

From the macro-sized global issues to micro-sized personal relationships, everything seems to be more than what they seem to be on the surface.

These past few weeks were a very tough time for me. There were too many things happening and it turned me becoming a nuisance. I got angry and emo easily and I didn't know why. Eventually it caused people around me to ask whether what happened to me.

I hate myself, for not possessing enough strength to simplify the complicated things around me. And they just messed up my life, wasting my precious time and adding unnecessary stress to me.

Sometimes I really envy, from the bottom of my heart, how simple some people's lives are.

No one really knows how screwed my life is. Close friends are the ones that keeps hurting me. Hypocrites and backstabbers constantly circle around my life. Lies hang around everywhere.

I know a strong sense of justice is good, but why do I have to be the one to have it? I just can't control the urge to stand up for what's right. Even when it doesn't concern or affect me. Maybe you would say that I'm busybody. And hell yeah it always lands me into deep shit.

I hardly fall asleep nowadays, even though I spend few hours turning here and there on my bed. It tires me. Concentrating and focusing in class have now become difficult task for me.

Maybe I can't hold on much longer.

But as long as I live, I'll do my best.

Suddenly,
I don't know what I want exactly.

Suddenly,
I don't know what it takes for me to be happy once again.

Suddenly,
I blanked out.




Suddenly,
I lost myself.

Sometimes I just wanna keep running, until I am far away from all the shit in this world.

How long can you last on a rollercoaster ride, before it takes a toll on you?

How many peaks and pits can you go through, before you finally get tired?

I don't wanna know anything, I also don't wanna get involved in anything.





Overloaded, Overwhelmed, Overpowered.

2 years of KL life. 


It's been 2 years. 

( 2 freaking years.Collapse )</div></span>