Dear 2010.

Dear 2010,

I must write you a letter. When I'm sad or thankful or nervous or excited, that's what I do... I write letters. And you my friend have given me a lot to be sad and thankful and nervous and excited about, probably more so than any other year. You 2010, you've defined me. You've showed me who I am. You have been the biggest year of my whole entire life. And that is a big deal (even if I am only 18...)

You gave me love. Not only the unconditional love of family members and friends that I've been surrounded by, but the kind of love I used to see in Cinderella. In February I had the pleasure of falling head over heels and barely had time to catch my breath. I knew what it was like to be needed, to have permanent butterflies in my stomach, to care about someone more than myself. Thank you, thank you for giving me love.

All too soon though 2010, you gave me heartbreak. You gave me a permanent pit in the bottom of my stomach. You gave me reason to blast taylor swift and leave mascara stains from crying on my pillow. You gave me confused parents who didn't know what to do with their hurt daughter, friends who never knew what to say and a sister who had never quite experienced such heartbreak. You left it up to me... and thank goodness you did.

Because 2010 without that time, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have confidence or respect for myself. Through all the tears and the sad songs and the long walks... I found peace. Peace in myself. And that 2010 is something I can't thank you enough for.

You gave me a scare when you sent my best friend and sister into the hospital 24 weeks pregnant. You showed me how many angels I had near me by the many meals, phone calls and simple "check ins" we received. You showed me that nothing replaced the power of kneeling on my knees and speaking to my heavenly father. You showed me that my two nieces are the sweetest blessings in my life. You showed me even more reason to call my sister my hero. And finally, on December 13th, you gave us a miracle as you brought my new fighter of a nephew Charlie into the world.

You gave me sadness when you took my golden retriever Clementine after 13 wonderful years. At the same time, you gave me appreciation for the other puppy at home and made me wake up and realize that he needed a little more love. Randy and I enjoy our frequent walks together now. He and I both thank you.

You turned me into an adult, even if I didn't want to be. On November 17th, I turned 18 years old and realized that life is speeding by faster than I know. I've completed college applications and started looking at graduation dresses. You've forced me to kind of... grow up.

Most recently 2010, you've given me joy and happiness as you've brought all 16 members of my family together under one roof for the holidays. You've showed me that even through heartbreak and scary times and dogs passing away, my family is the light at the end of the tunnel. And no matter how fast time is passing, they're always there. I'm happy 2010, which is something I didn't know if I'd be able to say at the end of you.

But I am.

x's and o's,

Silly Lily

Happies. Sads. Funnies. Awesomes.

Tonight 14 members of my family sat around the dining room table.
We prayed, we laughed and we ate the most delicious home-made macaroni and cheese known to man. Thank you to my older brother's hidden cooking talent.

Abigail, my five year old niece seemed to burst with excitement as she raised her hand, "I know what we can do! We can do happies and sads."

Happies and Sads are an age-old tradition in the Checketts home. It was the way my mom kept her working husband, her four active boys and her two busy daughters all connected grew up. The task was simple. If we were fortunate enough to all sit down to dinner together, we went around to say our happy events of the day and our sad events of the day. As we've grown up, happies and sads is a continuing tradition.

Abigail kept the tradition alive tonight, but decided to add her own twist. Instead of saying only our happies and our sads, we also had to say our funnies (something funny that happened to us) and our awesomes (something awesome that had happened that day.)

Abby inspired a post that has been pretty over-due. There's been a lot to post on in the past couple of weeks and too little time. So I now present to you my happies, sads, funnies and awesomes for the past two weeks of my life.

My Happies.
I was happy when my baby nephew Charlie Holmstead was brought into the world two months early. He's the tiniest fighter I've ever seen.

I was happy when I got a 92 on my english paper.

I was happy when I came home from school to find my three brothers and their families home for the holidays.

I was happy when I got a text from a shy football player asking me on a date.

I was happy when I burned my Christmas music CD and put in in my car.

I was happy to watch Elf with my two little nieces both laying their heads on my lap.

I was happy when I heard this song for the first time.

I was happy when I realized there was only two days until Christmas.

My Sads.
I was sad when I watched my high school football team lose a heart-breaking game for the state championships.

I was sad when I realized that game was the last high school football game I would ever cheerlead at.

I was sad when I got a 67 on my math test.

I was sad when I saw how many seminary make-up days I needed.

I was sad when my car's thermostat said it was 6 degrees.

I was sad when the boy I've missed for months came home and didn't call me... and still hasn't.

My Funnies.
It was funny how nervous the shy football player was when he asked for my number.

It was funny when my brothers had a 'cheerleading toe touch' competition.

It was funny when my 5 year old niece quoted the movie elf word for word.

It was funny when I tripped up the stairs on the way to science class... and embarrassing all at the same time.

It was funny how eager my brothers were to hear about my date.

My Awesomes.
It was awesome when we came out of early morning seminary to see snow.

It was awesome when I threw my back handspring by myself at cheerleading practice.

It was awesome when our basketball team beat our rival by twenty points.

It was awesome when my best friend and I drove around town, the windows rolled down, singing Jingle Bell Rock.

It was awesome when the shy football player kissed me.

It was awesome that I was able to fill you in on my life over the past two weeks with one blog post.

Submitting To My Dream.

I've always adored the Utah mountains.

They're the first thing I look for when I land for a visit

and the last thing I look at before I take off to go home.

Since the age of three, I knew that one day when I took off from home and went to college... I wanted to be surrounded by these mountains.

The Provo Mountains to be more particular.

It was quite the surreal experience submitting my application to my dream school last week.

To a school where I won't be one of the only sober ones...

a school where girls will share my standards of dress and where guys won't be turned off because I won't 'go farther' with them.

A school where I can happy

be free

and be

myself.

My fingers are crossed, my prayers are frequent, I want to get in more than anything in the whole wide world.

So now we wait.

We wait to see if dreams really do come true.

please please please please!

A Belated Thanksgiving.

The extended family has packed up, boarded their flights.

Dad and I have polished off the last of the turkey and stuffing left-overs.

Mom has completed the mile high pile of dishes.

School has once again started. Homework has already been given.

Thanksgiving Break is officially over.

But the meaning of Thanksgiving is still lingering in my heart, begging for me to write about it. For it is through writing it down, sharing with others, that I realize how very blessed I am.

I'm thankful for my three best friends. One at college. Two home with me. The girls who know how to make me laugh, even when I don't want to.

For Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt and that they have just built one only fifteen minutes down the road.

For my cousin who come to stay, shop and giggle with me for Thanksgiving break. I was reminded why I've always considered her my sister and my best friend all in one.

For MAC eye-shadow and the way it makes my eye color appear just a bit greener than it really is.

For my two little nieces who take off the pressures of high school on me as they run into my arms when I get home from school.

For Subway Veggie Delight sandwiches... the tastiest 'healthy' snack I've ever tried. I'm obsessed.

For my four brothers who let me know they care by a simple call, text or facebook message. My forever protectors.

For Kate Spade. I don't feel the need to go into detail about this one. Just like at the merchandise and you'll be thankful for them too.

For Taylor Swift and her ability to write songs I can relate too, her ability to maintain her innocence in a crazy place called Hollywood and her ability to make me turn my car speakers as high as they can go.

And finally... I'm thankful for Starbucks Red Cups.

It was during a free period at school the other day that I drove to our local starbucks. I was sad about my broken relationship, mad about a recent math test and worried about my hero (my sister) who was pregnant in the hospital. My feelings were changed and my heart was warmed however, when they handed me my sugar-free hot chocolate in a red cup. These red cups have seen many a smile between my sister and I on cold winter days. They're the perfect remedy for a bad mood and a perfect reminder to keep my chin up.

So I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for the red cups.

I'm thankful for the way my sister is improving.

I'm thankful for a holiday that can sweetly remind me of all of this.

10 Things I Hate About You.

"I hate the way you talk to me.

And the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots.

And the way you read my mind. I

hate you so much it makes me sick -

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh -

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around.

And the fact that you didnt call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you -

not even close,

not even a little bit,

not at all."

-10 Things I Hate About You.

18?

In about two hours, I will officially be (by most people's standards) an adult.

Adult?

Bleh, I cringe at the thought of it.

I still play with my mom's hair. My dad still carries me to my bed when I fall asleep on the couch and calls me his "princess." My best friends and I still turn on music and dance like complete fools. I still sleep with my stuffed gorilla. I still love disney channel original movies and consider Lizzie McGuire one of my favorite shows of all time. I still cry easily and act goofy and try on my mom's high heels for fun. I have the high school musical soundtrack on my ipod and know every word. I like lunchables and still prefer my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no crust.

I don't do laundry or cook dinner and sometimes I forget to floss. I hate sleeping alone and make sure that weekly "slumber parties" are a must. Toy Story 3 makes me laugh harder than anything. I still can't reach the top shelf in the pantry. I hate doing the dishes. I still ask my mom for help with make-up.

Me.... an adult?

I don't think so.

Dear Sissy.

Dear Sissy,

I haven't quite figured out the right thing to say to you yet. You know me, always avoiding sad or hard things. But I'm almost eighteen... in 9 days as a matter of fact... and I can't shy away from sad things anymore. I know you would like to be here for my birthday, you always plan the best family dinners. And make the best cards. And give the best hugs. But my birthday can wait, right now we're focusing on the birthday of the little boy inside your tummy.

You're strong Katie. It's been your strength that I've often relied on in my life. Keep being that strong girl. Keep thinking positively. Mom says it a lot, and it really gets old, but it's true. Think happy thoughts. Think of the chocolate foundry in Sun Valley or the movie Father of the Bride. Think of us dancing to 'September' or singing Taylor Swift in the car. Think of our lunches at Rosies or how sometimes we split a brownie fudge sundae at Gates. Think of Grandma Connie. Think of your sweet friends. And mostly, like I know you do, think of your girls.

Think of them Kates, but don't worry about them. I've got them. I love coming home every day from cheerleading practice to the sounds of their laughs and shrills. I love how Abby still refuses to sit by me at the dinner table while Molly will pat my cheeks and tell me that she loves me. I love that all three of us can snuggle into mom and dad's bed and watch toy story 3... sometimes twice in a row. I love that we all agree that lunchables and macaroni and cheese are the best meals. I love that I can wake up in the middle of the night and hear the faint sounds or their snores next to me. I love that while their mommy is away, they can stay with me.

We talk about you constantly. Molly makes sure to ask at least five times a day where you are... even though she already knows the answer. Abby told me that her favorite place to be is in the hospital with you. They miss you dearly. They miss your touch, the way you sing them to sleep and the way you brush their hair soft enough so it won't hurt. And I know you miss them, sis. I know they are your world and I'm lucky enough to have you to look up to for exactly how I want to mother my children some day.

Kates, you've been my hero for 17 years and 356 days. I look up to you in every way. You've wiped my tears my whole life, whether it's about boys or friends or fights with mom. You've listened intently to stories and given advice. You've been my mom, best friend and older sister all mixed into one.

It's time now, you let me be there for you. Let me take care of your girls, let me get pinkberry for you, let me do the dishes for once. Call me when your scared, text me pictures of the gross hospital food, tell me when you need me to bring froyo and a chick flick. Lend me your tears, and you can borrow my smile.

Love you forever.

Lily