A Lots Happened 2011!!

A lot has happened since i last posted. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for a little over a year. I turned 24 ( Ahh!! ) My brother left for his mission. He went to the Micronesia Guam mission. hes doing super great. and i miss him so much! :) I dont really have a lot to say. but i do have some pictures to share over the course of the year.

 Leslie, Casey, Matt and I went to Tucanos for my birthday dinner. i love those Tucano birthday gift cards!

 New Baby Chloe :)

 Christmas lights and a date night with my sweetheart

 Awesome new bed spread i got and Christmas Eve books <3

 My beautiful mother ( she needs to be a grandma dont ya think?)

New Years Eve Kiss

depressing post... you have been warned.

So i have this belief, this hope. its the notion that i'm meant for someone. that there is somebody out there just for me. this hope is slowly dwindling with each person that i meet. i fall fast and i fall hard and maybe thats my downfall. the guys dont fall for me like i fall for them and i end up heartbroken. and a little piece of my belief that theres someone for me goes with them. they all tell me how amazing i am. and i think to myself, not amazing enough i guess. if i'm so amazing why do they leave me? why am i never the girl they want to be with? i want to be unFORGETable. unREPLACEable. but it seems that that is never the things i am. they replace me easily. they forget about me easier. i am average. there is nothing remarkable about me. i need someone to make me believe again. 

Avoidance

I have been avoiding coming to my blog because everytime i do i see the post that says "boyfriend" and then all my mushy ramblings about him. Needless to say we broke up for some ridiculous unfounded reasons and it basically sucks! but it would be okay if i didn't have to see him in 3 of my classes this semester. so i see him at least once a day every other day. it sure does make it hard to get over someone..  besides that.. nothing new is happening in my life really. just work at big 5 still. (getting ready for holidays and doing winter changeover blah!) and going to school (where the aforementioned circumstance is making this semester even harder than it already was) and i guess the only exciting thing that happened to me is i got nose surgery. no not a nose JOB! just surgery to fix the big hole in it. so that was really fun.. =/

I have been having a problem lately wondering what the point is...?    what is the point in any of this?

you meet people whether they be friends or something more and eventually every single person moves on. they move away. they grow distant. friends that you have had forever abandon you. they die. and then there are the relationships. i know that you have to go through a lot of them to find the "right" person. but for me it seems i could probably be happy with any of them. but inevitably something happens and they give up. and i'm left to start all over. same with the friends. i'm sick of trying to make new friends all the time. why cant some of them just stick around.   i feel as if life is just a long string of disappointments. they say its not the destination its the journey thats important. well what if the journey is just one heartbreak after another. how can that possibly be whats important in life?

Boyfriend...

So everyone.. i officially have a new boyfriend! we have been dating for about a week.

He is amazing. everything i never knew i wanted. he is sweet and charming and funny and smart and thoughtful and responsible and the best part is that HE WANTS ME TOO... :D

I'm 'basically the happiest person in the world right now! His name is Zeead Swaidan. He spent the first 19 years of his life in the Middle East, Jordan, to be exact. he served a mission in England and then came here and never left. He is in my program at school which means we met in class :) and that means that class is now THAT much more interesting. I'm planning on being with him for a long time. so anyways enough mushiness about my new boyfriend (i just love calling him that) i also went to New Mexico and Arizona recently with some friends to check out grad schools that was fun and can i just say that i'm SUPER EXCITED that its summer!!!

VEGAS

This weekend i went to Vegas... woot woot... unfortunately i left my purse in my car the whole time so whenever i wanted (remembered that i wanted) to take pictures i didn't have my camera!!! frick! But anyways Friday night we walked the strip. saw the Bellagio fountain show for the first time.. it was soooooo cool. :D Saturday had a BBQ, saw the Las Vegas temple and walked around the ground! it was so pretty. it was funny because EVERYWHERE in Vegas is landscaped with rocks and palm trees and thats about it. when there was grass it was almost dead and yellow looking but at the temple everything was well manicured and GREEN and super pretty. i wish i had my camera then. after that we went and hung out at the skatepark while my boy skated... i totally want to learn how to skateboard now! haha then we went to downtown LV which is a little ghetto-er than the strip but still way fun! then sunday went to the mall in Henderson. that was fun too... it was a good weekend i was glad to get away.

Bad news... Bad day

today sucks!!!! i had school which seemed to drag on and on. i couldn't go to rob's to BBQ because i had to work. at work i got super frustrated with all the dumb customers and their own unique problems with every single thing we have. NO other store gives you previous sale prices. have you ever went shopping at the mall and asked if they could give you a lower price? its not choose your own price.. people take big 5 sooooo for granted it pisses me off..... so FINALLY 630 comes around and i get to leave. only to get a text from my mom saying that century credit is trying to collect almost 8000 against me for wachovia from my truck that LOGAN was supposed to deal with. my credit sucks and i dont have that kind of money. im a student living at home and working at big 5. i swear i've never regretted my marriage to Logan until right now. its going to haunt me forever. this is a nightmare and i want to cry. or get drunk.