Six months without posts, that's a personal record :D

• For Lent I've given up Facebook and sugar. That means no syrup on my pancakes, no honey in my tea, no sugar on my buttered toast and of course no cookies, brownies, cakes, chocolate bars, or ice cream. The biggest challenge so far has been the champorado mix and champorado ingredients my mom brought from the Philippines which I immediately put in the back of the highest cupboard where I keep baking supplies. Just a few more weeks to go and I'll be enjoying champorado again :)
• Bea's doing very well with my work schedule. The first week she would cry when I'd hand her off to my mom (but she'd immediately stop after I close the study door, so I don't really worry about her). Now she'll even go to her lola of her own volition. Yay! Will start going to the office once a week, I think she will be fine.
• This evening, barring any natural disasters or kid-related emergencies, Edward and I will visit the movie theater for the first time in two years. We're going to watch the 6pm screening of Alice in Wonderland (this will be my first 3D experience), will be bringing sandwiches into the theater, and will be rushing home afterwards. Dates just aren't the same when you have kids!

Ending this post with the most recent picture of the kulits...

If you know of more ways to help, please post them here. I got these from Facebook.

How to make monetary donations:

1. https://www.myayala.com/ayalafoundation/ayalafoundation.asp - Ayala Foundation
2. http://www.kapusofoundation.com/donate - GMA7
3. http://www.txtpower.org/2009/09/philippines-help-typhoon-victims-in-luzon-philippines/ - ABS-CBN
4. Here is the BEST link I've seen so far for online donations!  An anonymous donor will match UNICEF donations up to $100,000! Please spread this link: https://secure.unicefusa.org/site/Donation2?df_id=5960&5960.donation=form1&gclid=CJrO0tqvlp0CFR4Hagod4C15_w

• SoCal Pinoys who want to donate: Our goal is to fill up a 40ft container in 1week with new or used clothing/shoes/blankets medicines,canned food items,etc. Our house is temp drop ...off point for now. We'll facilitate immediate shipment to Manila. 16622 Amberwood Way Cerritos, CA 90703 or call Jan at (562) 338-4737.
• To all Pinoys in SINGAPORE, if you would like to help our kababayans impacted by the floods, the drop off point for relief goods is Afreight Cargo, #03-09 Lucky Plaza, Orchard Road. Contact Person: Maureen Schepers 6235-1011/9111-7855. Please pass this info to fellow Filipinos and Non-Filipinos who would like to help.
• For friends in BANGKOK who would like to help the victims of Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana):The Philippine Embassy will be receiving only donations in kind (ie., used clothing, shoes, blankets, and the like, and canned goods) anytime between 9am-5pm... until Fri. For queries, please feel free to contact the Philippine Embassy at (02) 259-0139 up to 40 or (08) 992-65954, or at bangkokpe@gmail.com

Read about this site in yesterday's newspaper and immediately registered to look for somebody in the Philippines to sponsor. Unfortunately (or fortunately, for them!) all the Phil. entrepreneurs reached their target amounts already. Gusto ko pa naman mag-sponsor dito (taga-Isabela siya, where my dad is from). Anyway I'll keep watching the site for Pinoy entrepreneurs. I've saved the query for open loans from Pinas as an RSS feed so that Google Reader will let me know immediately if anything else pops up.

Basically the site lists entrepreneurs in developing countries along with a short biography and a description of the business they're developing or expanding. They only need a few hundred or thousand USD to achieve their goals and you can help them out by lending money. You can lend any amount starting with $25 up to the entire amount the person needs. Needless to say, these micro-loans also help the entrepreneurs' families, any employees they have, and their communities. Small businesses thrive and your money goes to motivated, business-minded people who have plans for making the money grow and will pay it back (without interest, so it's not as much of a burden to them as those 5-6 schemes) and you can loan the money again to another small business owner. It's fantastic that somebody took this great idea and put it online.

I read this article from Stockholm City a few days ago and liked this quotation:
When I did a search for "the paradox of our age", Mr. Google showed me two very similar texts, a preacher and the 14th Dalai Lama. I have no idea who borrowed whose words, but anyway both versions are very nice reads so I thought I would share them here.

The Paradox of Our Age v1

- By Dr. Bob Moorehead

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Dr. Bob Moorehead is former pastor of Seattle's Overlake Christian Church. He retired in 1998 after 29 years in that post. The essay appeared in 'Words Aptly Spoken,' Dr. Moorehead's 1995 collection of prayers, homilies, and monologues used in his sermons and radio broadcasts.

The Paradox of Our Age v2

*** NOTE: I wrote this for Pinoy Moms Network in 2007 and found a copy just now, and thought it would be nice to re-post it here :)
I'm inspired to write about tandem nursing naman. Let's hope the inspiration stays in there until I get a few minutes to sit down and a chance to type with two hands, for once. ***

It's almost a cliché to say that breast is best. The nutrients in breastmilk are more easily absorbed by the body than formula. It contains disease-fighting antibodies; reduces the risk of the child developing asthma and allergies, ear infections, and reactions to vaccinations; and it even benefits the mother's post-partum emotional health and reduces her risk of getting several types of cancer.

The question is, if everybody knows all this, why are Pinays not breastfeeding enough?

One factor is aggressive formula marketing in the Philippines, but we can’t put all the blame on pharmaceutical companies. My belief is that mothers have the best of intentions and try their very best to breastfeed their newborns, but do not know that it is challenging and difficult, and thus get discouraged when they encounter problems. Lectures and pamphlets focus too much on the benefits of breastfeeding, the bond formed between mother and child, etc. in order to inspire pregnant women and new mothers. That's all well and good, but I'm afraid they paint such a rosy picture of breastfeeding that mothers think pain and milk supply issues are not normal and conclude that "I was not meant to breastfeed". So in this article I will focus not on the "good" of breastfeeding, but on "the bad and the ugly". Prepare yourself, because it’s not going to be pretty.

 

#1. Breastfeeding looks like the most natural thing in the world but it sure doesn't feel like it. Oh, maybe it will in the delivery room, just after the baby pops out of you and you're as high as a kite (on hormones, or the epidural, who knows?) and your brand-new little infant nurses for a minute or two then goes to sleep. But there's a lot more to it than putting the baby to the breast. Engorgement is a four letter word - it hurts to raise your arm, or to sleep on your side - and the only thing that will get rid of the engorgement is to let your baby nurse as frequently as he wants, which is agonizingly painful at first. When your little angel latches on like a ravenous piranha, you will stamp your feet and stifle a scream, and curse all those books that describe breastfeeding as the most wonderful feeling in the world, because how can it be possible to find pleasure in the midst of all this unholy pain? Even after you and baby seem to have perfected the latching-on process, breastfeeding could still hurt because your nipples simply aren't used to this yet; but trust me, keep working on improving the latch and find out what works for you and your baby, and the pain will gradually disappear.

My tip: the internet was my savior during the first difficult months (yes, that's plural) of breastfeeding. Clogged ducts? Milk blisters? Mastitis? I found it all on some helpful sites, and was reassured that these were normal and not a reason to give up breastfeeding (see Resources below). You can also hire a lactation consultant for one-on-one help. Your doctor should be able to recommend one, or for moms based in the US, go to the La Leche League website to find a consultant in your area; for moms in the Philippines, there’s the Perfect Latch website.

 #2. Nursing is not just feeding; it's also the reassuring warmth and unique scent of Mom that babies love so much. That's good, right? Yes, if you enjoy having a baby attached to you 12 hours a day, or more! My daughter loved breastfeeding so much that she could do it for an hour or longer. The worst time was when she was 6 weeks old and going through a growth spurt - it was nonstop feeding, especially in the late afternoon and early evening. Some "childcare professionals" (such as Gina Ford, Tracy Hogg, Gary Ezzo... if you read their books, I highly recommend you take their BF advice with a huge grain of salt) say that babies get all the nutrition they want in the first 15-20 minutes and after that are just sucking for comfort, and should be removed from the breast and given a pacifier. In fact, having my daughter nurse for so much of the day and night made me feel like a pacifier sometimes.

 My tip: it's your choice if you want to restrict your baby's feeding, but keep in mind that demand builds supply, and the more your baby nurses in the first few weeks, the more your milk supply will grow. And remember that...

"You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount

 #3. Well-meaning relatives will tell you that your milk is not enough because your baby always wants to nurse (see number 2). My mom in particular was eager to bathe, rock, and also feed her first grandchild. When my daughter would cry just 30 minutes after having nursed, she would say helpfully, "baka kulang ang gatas mo, bigyan ba natin ng formula?" ("Maybe your milk isn't enough, should we give her some formula?") I would reply that bottle-feeding too early could cause nipple confusion and that babies need to breastfeed often in order to build up the milk supply, and my husband backed me up. She was clearly dubious but fortunately, respected our decision. A few months later, she read my copy of The Baby Book and acknowledged that there was a lot she didn't know about breastfeeding. So Lola's experience may help a new mom cope with her infant's needs, but their generation didn't have the research and resources that we do regarding breastfeeding.

My tip: find tactful and respectful ways to turn down your mom or mom-in-law's offer to feed the baby formula. Promise that when breastfeeding is going well and you can introduce the bottle, you will let them have the honor of feeding the baby pumped milk or formula. In the meantime, research ways to increase your milk supply, and read this very inspiring story of a Filipino mom who had a breast surgically removed but was still able to produce enough milk from her remaining breast to nurse her daughter - and she's still breastfeeding now, 26 months later. Most importantly, enlist your husband’s support by having him read the links below… his belief that you are doing the right thing will give you the courage to stand up to your relatives ;)

Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park – and I haven’t even mentioned what will happen when your baby gets her first teeth and starts biting! But believe me when I say that the pain and discomfort are all worth it. If even one new mother comes across this article and it helps her find the confidence and determination to continue breastfeeding, I will be very happy indeed.

Recommended Breastfeeding Resources:

La Leche League

Kellymom

Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding videos

Ask Dr. Sears

Mom.exchange.ph (Filipino attachment parenting blog)

Pinoyexchange.com breastfeeding thread (Moms and the occasional dad answering BF questions since 2003)

A few days ago, former colleague sent me a Facebook message asking which baby carrier she should buy. Rather than sending her a very long reply I decided I would update this LJ instead and just send her the link, since some other expecting moms might find this info useful :) and I guess I was right, since this morning I got a question about slings on YM naman. :D

Let me preface this post with the disclaimer that this is based on my limited experience with wearing Bea and Annika (who from time to time still requests a ride in "Mamma's pouch" AKA the Ergo). I have four different carriers, which seem like a lot until you find out that some die-hard babywearers have ten or more (I'm looking at you, Ria) and there are several types I haven't tried yet, like ring slings and wraps.

1. Hotsling - we purchased this from Sling Sisters when Annika was a little over two months old. At the time she was becoming dependent on nursing to sleep, and Edward was having a difficult time putting her to sleep by rocking. With the help of the sling, Edward quickly became the expert at getting Annika to take naps, and when he would pop her in the sling she would automatially close her eyes and sleep for 2 hours or longer.
2. Baby Björn Active -. we LOVED this when Annika was 3 months-8 months. We took many happy walks around the neighborhood and the city without bringing a stroller. They say this can be used from birth onwards, but we're waiting another month or so before placing Bea (5 weeks old) in it because the Björn's neck and back support doesn't seem adequate for a newborn.
3. Mei Tai - I'm currently using this for Bea because she's gotten too heavy for the sling (at her 1 month checkup she weighed 5.3 kg). It's a nice extra carrier to have but if you were only buying one or two carriers, I wouldn't recommend this because of the steep learning curve - it can be daunting for new babywearers to put their baby in one - and because men may prefer carriers that are less, umm, flowy :D so if you want daddy to share in the baby carrying duties, better go for the Baby Björn or Ergo, or even the sling.
4. Ergo Baby Carrier - now this is my favorite. If you buy the infant insert you can use it with newborns (bought it second hand, so I don't have the insert). I'm looking forward to using this for Bea when she's old enough. It's a formed backpack-style carrier, and like the Mei Tai you can wear your baby on your front or back, but you can't wear the baby forward-facing on your front.

Summary: My least favorite is probably the Mei Tai. It's easy to put on once you get the hang of it, but I still prefer formed carriers. The ability to wear the baby forward-facing on your front is the main advantage of the Baby Björn, and Annika seemed very happy in this position, but experts say that this is not a good position because the baby can't tuck her head in when she is over-stimulated or tired... but note that those experts are usually promoting other carriers :D When Annika seemed tired I would just take her out and put her back in facing me, and she would sleep on my chest, so over-stimulation was never a problem for us.

In the end I would recommend getting a sling (best for newborns) and Ergo. You can still use the sling for toddlers, but in our case we preferred the convenience of the Ergo - after we got it, we didn't use any other carrier :D

Before I had a kid, I knew exactly what kind of parent I was going to be. For one thing, my children would never go to bed hungry. Proponents of tough love would give their kid his dinner, and if the kid didn't like it, the parents would say, "well, that's all you're going to get" and not give him any more food until the next morning. I thought that was cruel and that kids needed something in their stomachs in order to rest well, so the parents should always provide something that was healthy but kid-friendly for dinner.

Of course, I changed my stance once faced with the same problem. This week Annika had not been eating properly, complaining of pain in her throat and stomach. She'd had a cold and the stomach flu (we changed our sheets 3x in one night because she kept throwing up) last weekend but the fever and sniffling and throwing up had disappeared by Monday, so we thought she had recovered and was just describing what she had gone through the past weekend. In short, di naman namin inisip na nagsisinungaling siya, pero akala namin nangsti-stir lang. When she was sick she kept waking up at night so we would give her something to eat or drink (to replace the fluids she lost from throwing up) and comfort her back to sleep. So Tuesday night when she woke up at 2am asking for milk, I held my ground and said that she won't get any milk at night just because she didn't eat her dinner, and since she wasn't sick anymore, it wasn't time to eat or drink milk, it was time to sleep. Loud wails of protest followed, pero mas matigas ang ulo ko, so she ended up defeated and just went back to sleep in my arms.

We took her to the doctor the next day because she kept picking at her food and refusing to eat, and his diagnosis was tonsillitis. Siguro nga noon pang masakit ang lalamunan niya, tapos masakit ang tiyan kasi gutom siya.

Even if I always do what I think is best for my child, I can never be correct 100% of the time. I know small mistakes like this will hardly scar Annika for life, but I still feel terribly guilty. 

Because pregnancy is the best excuse for a chronic case of couch potato-ness.

1. The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon. Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery, it all started with the Big Bang! When I hear these words I have to suppress a giggle of anticipation because I can already imagine how Sheldon's going to make me laugh again with his socially ignorant questions and out of this world observations. With the great lines the writers give him and his impeccable comic timing (not to mention those priceless facial expressions), Jim Parsons steals every scene he's in.



2. Dirty Sexy Money's (Former Rev.) Brian Darling. Politically incorrect, cheats on his wife and tells her his illegitimate son is a Swedish orphan (and persuades the boy to pretend not to speak English) and has an irrational hatred for the main character who he thinks wormed his way into the Darling family. It turns out he's as much of an outsider - saw that twist coming a mile away, it was so obvious - but he remains fiercely loyal to the family. Unsolved mystery: forget about the whole Who-Killed-Nick's-Dad question. I'm more curious about why Brian became a priest in the first place?



3. How I Met Your Mother's Barney Stinson. Because he's played by the awesome Neil Patrick Harris, wrote The Bro Code, and has a heart of gold beating for Robin underneath that bimbo-chasing exterior. Unsolved mystery: why is he so determined to become Ted's best friend?



4. Chuck's Sarah Walker. Because she's the one saving the hero most of the time, instead of playing the damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor. Because no matter how much we find out about her (e.g. she went to high school with Nicole Richie!), it is always a cover... but like Chuck, we realize we don't need to know her real name in order to know that she's a good person. And because we want her to have her happily ever after - a normal life with the geek who stole her heart.




5. Prison Break's Alex Mahone. I don't know what it is about Prison Break, but the antagonists Kellerman and Mahone are far more interesting than the escapees. From the first episode he appeared in, Edward and I have been awestruck by this character, even when he was killing teenage convicts and doing other ruthless things in order to get to Scofield and Burrows. After they humanized the character by giving him a weakness (drug addiction) and a soft spot (his cute-as-a-button son), he became the only reason we kept watching this show. 

And I have to add Lost's Benry even if Season 5 isn't due to start for another couple of months. On a show filled with characters that keep you guessing, he's by far the most calculating, devious, and interesting. We don't even know if he's one of the good guys or bad guys. Are you looking forward to the Lost season premiere too, and finding where (and when?) the island went?

... naalala ko si Alanis dahil sa isang recent na entry ni freelysaid  :D

Anyway, it's funny how:

• my first pregnancy was free of any complications whatsoever, but now that I have a lot more on my plate (Bochie + chores +  a much busier schedule in general) I get hyperemesis gravidarum and an infection.
• I'm the most un-girly woman in the world, but the good Lord in His infinite wisdom chose to bless me with two little girls. Wala akong matuturo sa kanila when they come asking about makeup and nail polish. I've probably put on nail polish only 2 or 3x in my life, and just clear polish at that, and the last time I put on lipstick or any sort of makeup was... hmm... Sept. 2005? when we were candle sponsors at Bryan and EJ's wedding. As for fashion? I buy only basic clothing, live in my Nikes and have never bought a bag worth more than a couple thousand pesos, so they can't expect any advice from me in that area either.
• when we found out I was pregnant again I thought we wouldn't have to buy too much stuff because I plan to breastfeed and co-sleep like I did with Annika, and her old stroller and baby clothes are still in decent condition. But now that my due date's drawing closer, I'm being tempted to buy a Bugaboo Bee (it faces both ways, Annika's old Brio only faces outwards) and the Amby Baby Hammock (for the baby to nap in, hopefully).

Kasi naman, bumili si Edward ng PS3 today, so I should have the right to spend some money too right? And these are the things I wanna buy :P At first I thought the Bugaboo Bee (pic to the right) looked weird but I tried it in Barn Butiken and it pushes like a dream! And compared to the other Bugaboos it's much less expensive.

Speaking of today's PS3 shopping expedition, I'm really amazed that Annika has never YET (knock on wood three million times) thrown a tantrum in public or demanded that we buy her something. Today in Media Markt while Edward was contemplating which PS3 games to buy, Annika and I walked around the DVD aisles and she was picking up DVDs of all these animated series and movies, but would put them back kaagad after showing them to me and pointing out the picture of Kung Fu Panda/Dalmatians/Pingu on the cover. When we take her to toy stores she just looks at the colorful Lego sets, stuffed Care Bears, and all those toys with Winnie the Pooh and Dora the Explorer stamped on them, cleverly designed to capture the hearts of toddlers and empty their parents' wallets; but she just exclaims over them and touches them, then happily leaves the store with us without asking for anything. In September we accompanied her lola to IKEA to buy pasalubong for people back home, Annika picked up some stuffed animals, carried them around a little, then put them back in their respective bins, saying they wanted to be with their friends. Sabi nga ng lola niya, di siya marunong mag-shopping. I just hope our lucky streak continues!

... the day when I won't even be able to cut my own toenails. :D

The 2nd trimester of this pregnancy seems to be progressing much faster. I've been having frequent back and hip pain (it probably doesn't help that Annika and I take walks that last from 1-2 hours almost daily). Putting on my pants is a challenge, because of the aforementioned hip pain. I have heartburn again, something I only remember getting in my 3rd trimester when I was pregnant with Annika. And boy can bebe #2 move! She can wake me up in the middle of the night with a well-placed kick, something that definitely didn't happen this early in my 1st pregnancy.

It's probably because I'm so busy these days that the only time I get to sit and think about the coming baby is, ironically enough, when I'm sitting in the tub with a noisy Annika in the evenings. She's happy to play by herself, pouring water from one plastic cup to another and chatting with nobody in particular, and I have no other distractions - no work, chores, or the worrying news in the papers. The only thing in my hands, and my thoughts, is my growing belly. Despite all the inconveniences, aches and pains, pregnancy is really the most astonishing miracle that a woman can be a part of.