Been There, Done That

On Saturday we attended an afternoon wedding at this amazing club house.

It was a beautiful day and the ceremony was held outdoors. Much to my dismay it was a balmy 75 degrees - downright uncomfortable in the sun for us San Diegans.

As we sat down and waited for the bride to appear we began to perspire and wish everyone would just hurry things up. At long last the officiator begins. But instead of cutting to the chase he shares with the couple how sacred and important marriage is. And it goes on and on and on.

Not to be rude but it was the second wedding for both.

So I leaned over to Mindy and said:

"Can't they skip this, they've heard this all before"?

Without missing a beat she replied:

"Yeah but they didn't listen the first time."

Pimp Daddy

I call this:

Lifestyles
of the Guy
Who Hangs Out With
Rich and Famous People

Last Thursday I got on board the G5 (if you don't know what that is you must not be in the club) and settled in for a day trip to San Antonio


Shortly after take off our Stewardess invited us back to the dining area for an amazing breakfast. Below is not the actual picture, but it looked exactly like this.



Now I have been on my fair share of small planes and corporate jets. But this was something else.

Upon landing we were met by a couple of Black Escalade SUVs. All that was missing was the paparazzi.

We were whisked around the city to view some properties and had a late lunch on the river walk. Then we were dropped off at the plane and headed home. Well kinda, we had to drop off the Boss in Palm Springs first. Then we came home.

So in the middle of all this fancy living I had a moment.

It turned out that our host for the day was a BYU grad and we had some friends in common. So we chatted like old friends to the amazement of all my big and powerful Compadres.

Good thing I wasn't sipping some Cristal!

Full Moon

Whether or not there was a full moon last night I don't know. But something was going on in our house.

We always like to brag about what good sleepers our kids are and most of the time they live up to our boasting. But sometimes the stars align and all hell breaks loose.

Our lunar nightmare.

It started at 1:30am. Garrett (4yrs) wakes up and yells for someone to come and hand him his little blanket which has fallen off his bed.

Ahhhhhh!!! Reach over and pick up the blanket yourself!!

But if one of us doesn't get up he will just keep yelling, waking up the whole house. So we get up.

All is quiet until 2:30am. Then Ryan (2yrs) wakes up and starts whimpering. Again nothing big, just needs someone to come and tuck him in again. But it's that getting up and out of bed that's killing me.

But all this was nothing. At 3:30am and we hit the mother load. Paige (9yrs) comes crying hysterically into our room. We jolt out of bed, scared to death something serious is going on. You would have thought she was in the processes of dying from all the drama.

So what was it?? She felt like something was in her eye! That's it. Just a little something in her eye bugging her. You gotta know Paige. She can work herself into a frenzy about "health" issues.

When she realized that I was the one that was going to take care of her she wailed even louder. She was smart enough to realize that I wasn't going to coddle her, stroke her and sing her a lullaby. I was going to march her into her bed and tell her to knock it off.

But in the process she is making such a fuss that she wakes up Garrett and Kate.

A few threats and everybody is back down, but now I am wide awake.

Oh the rage at 3:30am. I swear that I am capable of terrible things when someone messes with my sleep. I lay there seething, waiting.

At 4:30am I hear Paige again. But quickly Mindy jumps up to save her from me.

Then the alarm goes off at 5:30am. &^%*

Every hour on the hour since 1:30am.

By the time these kids get out of the house I will be old enough to have prostate problems. And you know what that means?

Up every hour to go pee.

%#&*

Another Milestone

On the streets of Mesa during the early Eighties there roamed a pack of kids. Countless lives were touched, in some way, during the early morning hours as these kids looked for interesting activities to pass the time.

When this pack of miscreants was feeling benevolent they used as their tool of mayhem simple toilet paper.

I don't like to think about the other, not so nice, nights anymore.

But now.... I worry. You see Paige is now old enough that her friends are starting those late night activities. We got Toilet Papered last night.



I can handle Toilet Paper.

But Please don't let there be a little Eldon running around our neighborhood.

Happy Whatever

17 years ago a few minutes before dawn I walked through the darkness to the site of what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus. As the sun rose music began followed by an Easter service.

I didn't really listen to what was said as I was lost in my own thoughts. Was this really the place? But as the morning went on and the sun began to get warm I stopped dwelling on the validity of the location and enjoyed my most memorable Easter ever.

Being in Israel during that time of year I also had the opportunity to learn about and participate in all the traditions and rituals of Passover. I gained an appreciation and deep respect for all that Passover represents.

I felt enlightened, sophisticated and humbled to learn and experience everything in their historical location.

Funny how time fades memories though.

At work last week I wished happy Easter to Ms. Liebowitz and Mr. Simon.

Sugar and Spice

Yeah.

Upon first glance Kate (7yrs) would appear to fit the mold of Sugar and Spice and all that. And often she does.

Her favorite color is pink, she loves her barbies and she is the first one to give you a hug and tell you she loves you.

But she also has another side. A side of Snakes and Snails and Lizard Tails.

This past weekend we went on a family hike and came upon a dog who had pounced on a lizard. The lizard got away, but the tail stayed behind.



Imagine the tail above, but about 10 times bigger at a whopping 7 inches, and still wiggling as lizard tails do when they come off. It was more like a small snake.

We all ran up to look! all of us except Kate. Without hesitation she picked it up. A writhing piece of lizard flesh complete with a nasty, bloody tip. She was fascinated that it could still move although detached and didn't want to let anybody else have a turn to hold her treasure.

When she finally let Paige hold it she screamed and dropped it.

Then Kate came up with the brilliant idea that she should take the lizard tail to school for show-and-tell. Mindy thought it was a great idea! I off course was the stick-in-the mud who thought it might not be the best idea to take the tail of a lizard to school. But the girls won.

Of course there was a substitute teacher the next day at school.

I would have loved to see the teacher's face as Kate pulled out a 7 inch lizard tail and passed it around to all the kids.

I wonder how many times she made the class wash their hands?