One Lousy Picture

Saturday November 15th was the culmination of months of obsession. It was the day of the big race. And all I have to show for it is one lousy picture.


I had entered, with two other team mates, the 12 Hours of Temecula mountain bike race. The race was from 9am to 9pm. The goal is to complete as many laps as possible in that time. Each lap is about 10 miles with 1,000 feet of climbing and takes about an hour. As a team we rode relay style, each taking a lap then tagging the next guy. Our team completed 11 laps. Two of us rode 4 laps and one rode 3. The last laps we rode in the dark with lights.

Since this was our first mountain bike event of any kind we weren't sure what to expect. Turns out that this race is the premier mountain bike endurance event in Southern California. So there were 30, 3 man teams competing. We came in 7th. The teams are open category, so young, old, pro and amateur all compete together.

Each lap began with a 2 mile climb that was brutal. Then you worked your way down the mountain for the next 8 miles with several technical drops. A few people left in ambulances so we were grateful that our worst mishap was that a team member had a broken chain on one of the laps.

The race provided me with a good dose of reality. There were some pros there who raced in the solo category and completed 11 laps all by themselves. I guess I better keep my day job.

It was fun to have something to train for and look forward to and I can't wait till the next one. But for now Mindy is grateful that winter is here and I have to mellow out on riding the bike.

Next time I will actually pull my camera out and take a few pictures.

37 1/2 Pounds

I have noticed a tangible result of the secular assault on traditional holidays - over the years Halloween is becoming the most celebrated holiday at schools. With Christmas and Easter off limits more and more attention is focused on something we can all share: Witches, Devils, Death, Black Magic and The Macabre.

The rise of Halloween has required that we upgrade our children's Halloween bags to carry the increased bounty. At the end of the sugar frenzy, which included Trunk or Treat at the ward, School Parties and finally Trick or Treating, we tallied the combined loot of the four kids. 37 1/2 pounds of crap.

All our kids except for Garrett (5) are candy freaks. Given the opportunity they would gorge themselves until their body revolted. Garrett likes his chocolate, but in moderation. Ryan (3) is maybe the most addicted to the sugar high.


Paige (11) is nearing the end of her Trick or Treating career. She senses there are only a few years left. Can you pick her out of the 6th grade crowd at the Halloween Parade?


I'm more than ready to move on to holidays with actual time off work and real food!

Deep, Dark Secrets

I got caught the other night.

The evening started off innocent enough. It was a weekend so the girls had a friend over and were sitting down to watch a movie. I was wandering in and out of the room as I helped clean up and put a few things away.

During my fist pass I glanced up at the TV. Across the screen splashed the title: "The Lizzy McGuire Movie".

I didn't mean much to me so I kept on task.

After a couple more walk-by's I made the mistake of stopping for a few seconds to get the jist of the movie.

Now there is some controversy regarding what happened next. But Mindy, anticipating possible denials on my part, decided to get some good, hard evidence.

According to eye witnesses I eventually made my way from the back of the room to the couch where I proceeded to watch the entire movie snuggled up with Paige.

I have admitted to watching the "girl" movies. But typically I have a little bit of cover as the movie was initially made for adults or adapted from a classic novel. (Read This)

But this movie was targeted directly at 9-12 year old girls - and it had sucked me in.

I have another confession.

I took the whole family to High School Musical 3 and loved every minute?

Outed By His Teacher

One constant in our home is singing.

Paige (11) leads the charge, and is followed closely by Kate (8) and then Ryan (3). There are certain times and places that I can always guarantee you will hear singing. One place is the car. Mindy and I brace ourselves for the cacophony of voices that will fill the Minivan every time we drive somewhere with the kids. XM Kids or Radio Disney goes on and everyone sings along at full volume.

The other certainty is that Paige and Kate will belt out songs while taking a bath each night. I am confident in using the word belt because our neighbors often approach us in the summer, when our windows are open, and comment on the lyrical voices they hear coming from our home at bath time.

But there is one member of the family that never participates - Garrett (5). At home he sits stone faced as we sing songs at Family Home evening. In the car he stares out the window as every song to Wicked is sung perfectly.

So it was with great shock when we went to the first Parent/Teacher Conference for Garrett. Even though we were surprised that the teacher referred to him as a nice little boy, we were flabbergasted when she told us his favorite part of the day was singing time. In fact, she often had to ask Garrett to lower his voice so he didn't drown out the other kids. She also informed us that he loved doing all the actions that went along with the songs.

Mindy and I were doubters so we conducted our own investigation. And what do you know? The kid does love to sing. The last couple of nights as I put him to bed he sings me a song from school complete with all the actions.


Garrett continues to amaze and surprise us.

Cactus to Clouds

A friend convinced me we needed an adventure. Every so often he comes up with hair brained schemes and I usually go along.

So last weekend I drove to Palm Springs and did one of the killer "Extreme Day Hikes" in the U.S. - Cactus to Clouds.

The hike is long. You start on the desert floor and climb to 10,804 feet. You gain over 8,000 feet in the first 12 miles. It takes 17.5 miles to reach the summit then another 5.5 miles back to the Tram to get off the mountain.

We started early and in the dark

We were hot and sweaty by the time the sun came up.


One of the unfortunate things about this peak is that there is an easy way to get there. You can take a Tram up most of the mountain and then only hike the last 3 hours. So at the peak there was a crowd of these "Tram" hikers.

We felt cheated that everyone didn't realize we had hiked from the bottom. We wanted some accolades for all our hard work. Next time we are wearing signs proclaiming our feat.


We were the first group to make it from the bottom to the top. We passed groups along the way that had started as early as 12:30am. We started at 5am and made it to the peak at 2:30pm.

One of the harder things I have done.

Now after thumping my chest about my manliness I must admit something. A deep, dark secret that I hid from the guys on this trip lest they tease me.

I brought my own pillow from home.

I am getting old and soft!!!!

But I slept like a baby.

The First 40

Mindy is 5 weeks older than me and so had the privilege of being the first one to turn 40 last week. Along with that honor comes the teasing and taunting from her younger husband. It's a tradition I enjoy for 5 weeks every year and it's especially sweet at this epic life event.

My joy in rubbing it in has been tempered by the dreaded question I receive from friends and family.

"What did you do for her birthday"?

We have never been big birthday celebrators. But I in particular have muffed the basics more than once. (remember this)

I cringe every time this question is asked of me. The petitioner is hoping for descriptions of romance or images of opulent gifts. Instead they are left with my simple statement and my attempts to explain and reassure.

My ideas of a romantic weekend weren't practical since we would have a house full of visitors her birthday weekend. So I desperately searched for a gift that would convey thoughtfulness yet be fun and unique. This was of course a once in a lifetime event to turn 40.

I quickly settled on what I thought was the perfect gift. I spent hours researching and deciding just the right options for Mindy. The day after I purchased her gift and sequestered it at a friends house a colleague at work asked me the dreaded question. After I proudly described Mindy's gift they cocked their head a little and after a slight pause said "interesting".

Over the next two days as I waited for the moment Mindy would receive her gift I began to question myself. Maybe, just maybe, I was getting her the perfect gift for me.

So what did I do for Mindy's 40th Birthday?

I bought her a Mountain Bike!


She was gracious and assures me she still loves me.

But man I hate answering that question out loud.

Nose Above Water

I am gasping for breath here. Life is sucking every spare minute.

Mindy turned 40

Visitors, Visitors, Visitors

Boys trip

Parent Teacher conferences

I'm posting once a day until I'm caught up.

Personality

Around our house we have a euphemism we use quite often. We say our kids have lots of "personality". We find this much more productive than blurting out what we are really thinking.

Hitting, screaming, crying, and disobedience all get lumped into "Personality". But every so often they actually do live up to the label.

For example: The other night we brought all the Halloween decorations and old costumes in from the garage. About the same time Paige sat down to practice the piano.

From the other room Mindy and I noticed a long pause between each of her songs. When we peeked into the room to see what was going on this is what we found:









She had decided to try on a different hat for each song.

Now that's my kind of personality.

Worst Day of The Year

Without a doubt International Walk To School Day is my least favorite day of the year.

From the moment I walked out the door this morning with my kids the tormenting began and I quickly became consumed by the deadly sin of Jealousy.

Regardless of where I looked I couldn't avoid the object of my pain:

Men walking their kids to school in shorts.

Granted we live in San Diego so shorts are not unusual. But what are these guys doing for work to pay the bills of living in San Diego? It seems that at least half the fathers in our neighborhood have figured out this "Working for the Man" thing better than I have. These guys are kickin it at 8:30 in the morning with no apparent rush to get anywhere fast.

So as I drive off to work in my slacks I daydream of a work life spent in shorts.

Now that's living the dream in my book.

Going To Boston

In the midst of a crazy summer and back-to-school season and in spite of my Mountain Biking schedule, Mindy found time to train for the St. George Marathon.

She drove up on Friday to St. George with a couple of friends.

She claims she didn't sleep a wink last night and when she got out of bed this morning it was raining. It continued to rain throughout the race.

But Mindy had a goal to qualify for the Boston Marathon. To do that she needed a time of 3:50.

She came across the finish line cold, wet and tired but with a time of 3:46.

The Girl is going to Boston.

Panic and Pandemonium

Several months ago I noticed rat droppings surrounding our trash cans.

Like any good man of the house I resolved to annihilate these vermin. I headed to the hardware store and selected my tools for battle. I bought one of anything that had the words "kill, destroy, maim, asphyxiate, exterminate," etc.

I began my reign of blood and horror with rat poison. I set a tray beside my trash can that evening.


In the morning it was gone!

I replaced it with a new tray and again the next morning it had all been eaten. I ditched my other instruments of death and bought more rat poison. They kept eating and I gleefully replenished the supply.

About a week into this we wondered when we would see a dead rat. I wanted the side of my house littered with little dead bodies. But alas only one, rather large, dead rat showed up.

But my rat poison kept disappearing so I kept restocking, but the fun just wasn't there. What fun is killing little creatures if you can't stand over and admire your mayhem and destruction.

Finally the trays of rat poison remained untouched.

I moved on to gentler, kinder pursuits but I always wondered where the bodies where.

Yesterday Mindy was talking with our next door neighbor who moved in about 6 months ago. As she asked how they were liking the house and the neighborhood he became animated and explained that he was a little worried about something and was ready to contact the authorities.

He described how he had discovered dozens of dead rats in his backyard and was worried that the cause of their death was West Nile Virus.

Mindy started laughing so hard she couldn't talk for a few minutes. Her outburst and subsequent explanation saved a call to the Center for Disease Control.

I on the other hand would have held my mirth and waited for the guys in space suits to show up and carefully carry out each of my victims to be autopsied.

Now that would have been fun!!

_________________

Remember this previous story about rats? Click Here!

Road Trip

Thursday after work a friend and I loaded up our mountain bikes and headed to Deer Valley, UT. About 2am we got a room in Cedar City, UT and slept for 4 hours. Then back on the road.

We got to my friends place in Deer Valley about noon on Friday. We scrounged up some food, old bread and some peanut butter and frozen soup from last year.

We were on our bikes by 1:30pm. The leaves were changing, the weather perfect and the views incredible. We killed it for 2 1/2 hours until my rear brake blew out.

I got my bike to the bike shop and had a deep conversation with the mechanic.

"Dude I need your help."

"Dude"

"Yeah"

"Dude no worries. I'll have it for you first thing in the morning"

"Dude"

No need to waste words when you are in the brotherhood.

Hot tub, Mexican food, sleep.

Saturday was an epic 5 1/2 hour ride. Hardest ride with the most vertical I have ever done. Incredible!!

Hot tub, pizza, football, sleep.

12 hour drive back to San Diego, 1 ticket (not mine), 2 stops at Wendy's.


My next crazy adventure? A 12 hour MTB Race on November 15th - 12 Hours of Temucula!!

Teach Them Diligently

Whenever the kids realize it is Monday they get excited because Monday's mean Family Home Evening.

I realize the enthusiasm may wane in the coming years, but for now we are taking full advantage.

Last night was a typical FHE. Ryan (3) conducted with a little help from Kate (8). We sang songs, which Garrett (5) decided to sing one verse behind everyone else. We had a lesson, during which Kate did a hand stand and several cartwheels.

When it came time to play a game everyone was a little uncertain because we were going to try a new game - The Telephone Game. You know, the one where you secretly whisper a phrase or sentence, that you heard from the preceding person, to the next person until the last person repeats what they heard. The end result is most often comically incoherent gibberish.

After one or two tries the kids were into it and having a great time.

Then it was Mindy's turn to come up with a phrase and start the whispering.

She sat for a second looking up at the ceiling as she pondered. A slight smile broke out over her face as she leaned towards Paige (11). She carefully cupped her hand around Paige's ear to protect the secrecy of what she thought was the perfect tongue twister.

Now in an effort to be clever, she had devised her own twister instead of relying on one of the classics. When I debriefed her afterward all she could remember was that she intended her phrase to revolve around the word "ship".

So there we were as a family watching as Paige started to receive her "secret" from Mindy. A couple of seconds into the exchange, Paige's eyes went wide and Mindy jerked back, with her hands covering her mouth.

Then the laughter started. Mindy laughed so hard she had tears streaking down her face. I think Paige was relieved she was laughing and heartily joined in.

When Mindy could finally talk again she explained she was trying to say "ship" but her own tongue became a little twisted.

Oops.

Garrett's still not sure why we were all laughing so hard. But he thought it was the funnest game ever.

I Got It Handled

Mindy left this past Thursday for her annual girls trip with her friends from Freshman year at BYU.

So Friday morning I was up early. I had a hot breakfast waiting for the kids, I made 4 lunches and I got the boys hair combed.

I was feeling pretty good.

We read the scriptures, brushed teeth and got the beds made.

Now I'm starting to feel a little cocky.

I cleaned the kitchen and had Ryan (3) waiting for his carpool.

This was easy I chuckled to myself.

As I waved goodbye to Ryan I jumped into my car and headed North for my 1 hour commute. As I parked my car I went to grab my work bag....

It wasn't there. I had left it at home. In all the commotion, and patting myself on the back, I was thrown out of my routine.

So there I was an hour away from home with no computer and no key documents. I spent the day getting hassled by my co-workers as I apologized time and again for not having documents I needed for meetings.

So next time I get a call from Mindy telling me she forgot her purse, sunglasses, items she just purchased at a store, etc. I am not going to say a word.

Just Your Normal Gas Station

I work in La La land. Really.

Remember this post?

While the energy debate rages in the national headlines the gas station closest to work continues selling their version of Supreme gas.

Now that the price is back down to $8.99 a lot of Ferrari owners are breathing easier.

Life in the OC baby!

Cousin In The News

My Cousins wife was an avid blogger with a significant following. Since their accident the blogging community has rallied to their support. So much so that their story has made national news.

New York Times Article

The Today Show interview with Matt

and local news

Mesa Tribune Article


Local News interview with my Aunt and Uncle

Time To Grow Up

Shortly after marriage Mindy helped identify one of my less desirable traits: commenting. Surprisingly it turns out I had an opinion about everything and at the time had a limited ability to keep my thoughts to myself.

But Mindy helped developed a 12 step program for me and some 16 years later I can be trusted, at least half the time, to keep quiet.

The other night my years of training were put to the test.

I was helping Paige (11) do some math homework, which by the way, I actually had to think about, when we just started talking. She shared with me that she thought math was frustrating.

The instant she said that my head was flooded with thoughts of what I could say to encourage her, advise her and definitely help the situation. But I bit my tongue and all I said was "oh really, why?"

"Well", she said, "I got some problems wrong." I'm thinking that's all?...but she continued.

"When we finished our problems in class we passed the papers to someone else sitting at our table for them to correct it. I passed it to Travis and he teased me that I missed some problems."

That old feeling was coming back, I had so many thoughts in my head that were just waiting to get out. I was on the verge of losing control and letting my lips start flapping but instead I just I blurted "yeah, but..." Then I paused for just a second fighting back the lecture that was in me.

Paige saved me and started talking again.

"The problem is that Hogan is at my table. And sorry, but you know, Kevin is just really cute..." I know she continued talking but I can't remember what she said.

The minute the word cute came out of her mouth I was done. I wasn't ready for that. I knew this time would come, but I had hoped it was years away

She was so matter-of-fact about it, like everyone just accepted the fact that this guy was cute.

My years of lessons with Mindy flashed through my mind - this was serious. No comments, opinions or any of my other rambling. I just listened. We talked for a few more minutes then went back to the homework.

I think we might both be growing up.

Tears of Joy

Summers are full of conflicting emotions around our house.

I am a summer guy. I absolutely love everything that comes with this time of year. I admit that I may be a bit more exuberant about summer now as a resident of San Diego than I was as a desert rat.

I tend to make a big deal out of all the tell-tale signs that summer approaches. The first day I arrive home from work and it's still light outside. The first trays of blueberries that appear at Costco. And I still cheer and dance around with the kids when school lets out for the summer.

As my excitement rises, a foreboding begins to build within Mindy. Because as a mother of 4 young kids, summer can mean only one thing.

2 1/2 months as camp counselor.

Every day waking up to the same dreaded question: Mom what are we going to do today?

So when the first day of school rolled around last week I had one excited girl - Mindy. The whole family walked to school where we dropped Paige (11) off for 6th Grade, Kate (8) for 3rd Grade and Garrett (5) for Kindergarten.


Garrett was the last to get dropped off. Surrounding us in front of the Kindergarten classrooms were many parents passing through the milestone of their first child entering elementary school. They were nervous, lingering as the kids went into the classroom, and yes several were shedding tears as their little babies marched into Kindergarten.


Mindy consoled a couple of her friends traumatized by leaving their kid. But as we walked back to the house she smiled and said:

Suckers!

Ryan will begin pre-school next week and for 3 days a week Mindy will be a free woman, at least a few hours.

As for me, my tomato plants are all done, it's dark when I wake up to work out, and peach season is ending.

I'm depressed.

Ying and Yang baby.

Distracted

After returning home from our trip to Nauvoo I had every intention to keep blogging. But the Olympics, the world's greatest time suck, got hold of me.

The first week of the Olympics consisted of late nights and cat naps during long, boring meetings.

Then on Saturday, August 16 tragedy struck. My cousin Christian Nielson and his wife Stephanie were in a plane crash and severely burned. They are the parents of 4 young children, who were not with them at the time. You can learn more about Christian and Stephanie here and updates from her sister here.

Although I have never met Stephanie or their children I have been haunted by this accident and the challenging road they have ahead of them. Somehow posting my funny little stories seemed a little trite.

But this is my journal of sorts and someday we, our family, will be glad for the stories of this crazy time of life.

So....in between posts I am going to think about Christian and his family and pray things work out for them during their recovery.

Insult to Injury

Of course when we arrived home our luggage didn't make it with us.

Are you kidding me? We checked in an hour early and it was a straight
shot to San Diego.

In spite of the mishaps the last two days it was a great vacation. But
now it's time for the iPhone to take a rest.

Highs and Lowa

The day couldn't have been better. The weather was perfect as we took
the train into downtown Chicago. We trapsed around, went on a boat
tour, rode the "L", stopped at Garrett's for their world famous carmel
popcorn and then most importantly stopped at a hot dog stand on the
street for a Chicago dog.

Of course it couldn't last.

Shortly after I downed my dog we discovered that Mindy's wallet had
been stolen out of her backpack.

Then...

After we boarded the train for the 40 minute ride home we received a
phone call.

We had left one of the kids at Union Station downtown. We didn't even
notice until the police officer called. (it wasn't one of ours).

The dad jumped off the train at the next stop and jumped in a taxi to
recover his 9 year old.

Meanwhile we spent the train ride canceling credit cards and figuring
how to get Mindy onto the plane tomorrow without ID.

At least they didn't get the camera with all our pictures or her new
iPhone.

So a little excitment on the last day but still a great vacation.

Ravinia

Tonight we enjoyed this Chicago tradition that began in 1904.

You bring a picnic and find a space on the lawn. Then as the sun sets
the music begins. Tonight it was the music of John Williams. Amazing
how many great movies he has done.

The weather was perfect and the orchestra wonderful.

Even better we left the young kids home with a babysitter. That's a
vacation.

Authentic or Not?

Weeks before we left on this trip to Chicago I had pictured myself
seated in a Gino's pizzaria in downtown Chicago enjoying some
authentic deep dish pizza.

But with our crazy schedule and large group we weren't sure when we
would get it in.

Today we drove to Wisconsin, to lake Geneva to play im the water and
go boating.

Guess what they have in the little town at the lake? A Gino's East
pizzaria.

So after a long day at the lake we enjoyed some wonderful Chicago
style pizza, in the land of cheese.

Not what I had envisioned but close enough I guess.

A Childs Perspective

They don't remember the difference between cows and oxen. The've
forgotton the descriptions of what pioneer families packed for their
journey. And the poignant stories of life on the trail went in one ear
and out the other.

What they do remember from our ride in a covered wagon is how the oxen
relieved themselves.

These city kids were a little wide eyed after witnessing nature so up
close and personal.

The Fountain of Youth

We've discovered the fountain from whom all blessings flow.

A vending machine with drinks for 35 cents in the middle of town.

The locals thought it odd that our big group gathered around in awe,
taking pictures and buying 6 packs out of the machine.

Blacksmith Shop or Frogs

Behind the house we are renting is a field full of frogs which is
providing endless entertainment for the kids.

The question is will they remember anything else?

Run Mindy Run

Coming out of the Temple in Navoo we struggled to open the door
because of a strong thunderstorm.

So much for cute pictures outside the Temple. But we had a great time
inside.

I Love The Wright Brothers

This morning we got a taste of what our ancestors went through as
members of the infamous handcart companies.

It was muddy, hot and much trickier terrain than we expected which was
just right to get the message across.

We are all grateful for our plane ride home. Besides the kids were
tired of signing pioneer songs after only 1 mile.

Sucker for Corn

> All the way to Navoo we passed miles and miles of corn fields.
>
> And I love corn.
>
> I finally succumbed and pulled over at a vegatable stand. I bought 5
> dozen for 15 dollars.
>
> Mindy thought 60 ears was a little excessive but I enlisted all the
> cousins to help shuck.
>
> Looks like I am having corn for breakfast lunch and dinner.
>
>

First Flight

Although the boys have flown before they don't remember it so they
asked me a million questions and excitedly looked out the window.

But 5 minutes later they informed me they were bored with more than 3
hours to go.

We survived and arrived at 11:30pm local time and stuffed ourselves
into a couple hotel rooms.

In the morning we head to Navoo.

7 Days, 4 Kids, 1 iPhone

Since I have the new iPhone I guess I don't have an excuse to not blog
during our trip to Navoo and Chicago.

So here we are waiting. Our flight out of San Diego is delayed.

The Marshmallow Test

Some 30 years ago a professor at Stanford began a longitudinal study that became known as the Marshmallow Test.

His test subjects were 4 year old children.

He sat them in a room, one at a time, and placed 4 marshmallows on a table in front of them. He informed the children that they were free to eat the marshmallows anytime they wanted. But if they waited to eat them until he returned they would get 4 more.

Then he left the room and observed the child through a hidden camera.

He left them alone in the room for 20 minutes.

Of the hundreds of kids he tested only a small number of them passed the test, which was waiting the full 20 minutes without eating the marshmallows. They exhibited the positive trait of delayed gratification.

Over the next 14 years he kept tabs on the kids. What he found was the kids who passed the test did better in school, scored higher on the SAT, were socially well adjusted, etc.

The kids who failed were the opposite.

After reading this I realized I had a barely 5 yr old in my house, Garrett. The perfect candidate to run my own experiment on.

To be honest I went into this convinced of a negative outcome. But I reasoned that when he failed the test I would at least have some scientific proof to explain his challenges.

So I found some marshmallows and brought Garrett into his room. I sat him at the desk and placed 4 marshmallows in front of him. He was excited, but a little confused why I was just giving him this treat. So I explained he could eat them now or wait until I came back and I would give him 4 more.

As I walked out of the room he was just staring at the marshmallows.

I went and found Mindy and explained how I had turned our son into a lab rat. She chuckled and exclaimed "he'll never make it".

As we waited for the minutes to tick by we entertained ourselves with thoughts of the torture Garrett was going through and how he would soon succumb.

When I finally came back into the room - there were no marshmallows.

As I paused to collect my thoughts and decide how to turn this into a learning moment (lecture him) his face slowly morphed into that mischievous grin we know so well.
He opened the drawer and there were all 4 marshmallows.

Ohh he's good. He's just toying with us.

The Birds and the Bees

Every parent dreads having "The" conversation with their kids. So you look for any opportunity you can to lessen the awkwardness. For example having a third party to help lead a discussion has proven helpful for many.

We found our "third party" at the San Diego Zoo.

Our first instructor at the Zoo was Mr. Rhinoceros. Although the kids enjoyed the lesson Mindy was so traumatized that we had to take several months off from our education.

After Mindy had regained her composure we ventured back to the Zoo. The animals now knew how to rattle Mindy so for fun they assigned Mr. Elephant to teach the next session. The question and answer period continued a few weeks longer than we expected.

The turtles moved the learning forward in a less spectacular way and they were followed by a variety of guest lecturers who liked to surprise their students.

Last Friday we finally completed the course with an amazingly detailed instruction from the Monkeys.
With absolutely no questions left unanswered we assume the learning has been a resounding success. Although Mindy has suggested we should put aside a little money for therapy.

Check Me Out Garrett

It's been years since I showed off for someone but under the right circumstances I revert back to a teenage boy with little sense or reason.

Garrett (5) knew just what to say to egg me on.

We were in the front riding bikes around the cul-de-sac. I was on my mountain bike wearing my biking shoes so I was clipped in.

As we rode around I tried popping a little wheelie. Garrett oohhed and aahhed: "Wow Dad that was cool"!

So I tried another one, this time a little higher and I held it a little longer.

Again Garrett showered me with praise and amazement.

It was then that I decided to show Garrett a real wheelie and ride it up and down the street.

I pedaled a few times to gain a little speed then I raised up out of the saddle. I tightened my grip as I prepared to pull back and lift my front wheel off the ground.

I counted to myself: One, two, three, GO!

My wheel came up smooth and strong. I smiled. I was perfectly positioned. I began pedaling to continue my momentum and keep my front wheel in the air.

With my first pedal stroke I knew something was starting to go wrong. My front wheel began to rise higher. I could feel my center of gravity slowly shifting from a balanced position to falling backward.

Oops. I had pedaled to hard and I was tipping over.

No problem I would just slip my feet of the pedal and stand up. But....my feet were clipped into the pedals.

That moment of hesitation and surprise was all it took. I tipped over with my feet still in the pedals. I came down the left side of my bottom with all my weight.

The pain was immediate and excruciating.

When I opened my eyes Garrett was standing over me laughing.

This has been my worst biking injury by far. I could hardly walk for days. It has been a week and my backside is still tender to the touch.

The worst part is trying to get sympathy from Mindy. She just rolls her eyes and asks: "Explain to me again how you hurt yourself"?

That usually gets me off the couch to get my own glass of water.

Bombs Bursting in Air

Imagine the perfect Fourth of July for a middle aged guy who likes guns?

I lived that dream on July 3rd of this year.

I was part of a small group that was invited to spend the day at the firing ranges with Delta Company, a Marine Corps Special Operations Unit, the most elite Marines.

A good friend was part of a group that helped support the marines families while they were deployed. This was their way of saying thank you.

We arrived at Camp Pendleton, the large Marine Base between San Diego and Orange County, at 8:45am. We were given flack jackets, helmets and assigned to a Marine. We piled into Humvees and headed off to the firing ranges.


We observed as the marines "took" a building, complete with blowing the doors off and using what seemed like hundreds of Flash Bang Grenades.

We then got to play with their toys.

On the pistol course we shot their standard issue 45 caliber hand gun as we practiced "head shots" and "body shots" on steel targets as we walked through the course.

At the sniper range we shot at targets over 200 yards away and hit them with ease. The Marines claimed they could easily take out a man at over 1,000 yards, which is an unbelievable distance.

The rifle I am shooting below was equipped with a silencer, which is not all that silent. Apparently they are really intended to mask the flame produced when firing instead of the sound.

But I can claim that I hit a target the size of a human head at 200 yards with a silencer.

But the highlight for most of use was shooting their standard weapon, the M4. This was fun for a couple of reasons. First you felt most like a soldier holding this weapon and second it had a switch for full automatic.

So after a little target practice they let us flip the switch and live out every boys fantasy for a few seconds.


The marine I worked with all day was getting ready for his 4th deployment. These guys were incredibly professional, articulate and seemingly invincible. Each of them had seen significant amounts of action.

I have a new appreciation for the physical challenges they face and the incredible amounts of training they go through.

I will be thinking about them next 4th of July when they will be in the middle of their deployment.

Garrett's First Taste

I must confess that in my youth I did partake.

That initial rush of euphoria kept you desiring more and more. But after a while the satisfaction waned. You began to realize how destructive it was but just couldn't pull yourself away.

I tried to fight the addiction but couldn't kick the habit until I was in graduate school. One morning at 3am Mindy walked in on me. I was supposed to have been studying. The humiliation, and a stern lecture from my wife cured me.

I was finally free of Video Games. I haven't really partaken since.

But it appears my son Garrett (5) has my addiction genes.

He spent the past week in Arizona in a home with a Wii. This was his first time playing. He became so excited that he would wake up at 6am amped to get going.

By the time I arrived on Thursday evening Garrett was able to beat anyone at bowling. And I mean anyone. He spanked me over and over and over. He beat all cousins and uncles and siblings.

Then he began trash talking. He's lucky Mom protects him.


I predict years from now some young lady is going to have to sit down with Garrett and have a little talk.

Wasted on the Ungrateful

On Sunday afternoon I found myself settled into my favorite chair on the back porch. I had just gotten up from a nap and picked some plums off the tree and was enjoying the cool afternoon.

All was quiet.

I wandered back into the house and puttered around. I was already bored.

Mindy had left a few hours ago driving to Arizona with the two boys and her mother. The girls were already there.

So I called her. But soon someone needed her and she had to go.

I read. I watched some TV. I cleaned. Then I called her again. But she had just arrived and there hugs and catching up that had to be done so she had to go.

I had no boys to bathe, no stories to read, no girls to chase to bed.
My bedtime routine was all off. So I laid there for a long time staring at the ceiling.

No one said goodbye to me when I left for work.

By the end of my work day I had called Mindy at least 10 times - with no answer.

I arrived home to an empty house. No kids begging me to jump on the trampoline with them. I called her again.

Oops she said, the phone was on vibrate. She asked if everything was ok. I started to answer but then I could hear the boys in the background. The water in their shower was cold! She had to go.

Back to the ceiling.

We finally had a real conversation on Tuesday. Mindy excitedly asked me what I had been doing. She wanted me to describe in detail my hours of solitude. Ahhhhh, I could hear her sigh. "I would give anything to be alone in our house."

I commented that it wasn't as fun as it sounded.

Her voice raised as she began her retort: "You have no idea....(the sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth)...I gotta go."

Only 1 more day until I fly into Phoenix and back to the chaos.

Ahhhh. I can't wait

Visions of Glory

The first time on my new mountain bike, which was last October, I struggled up a slight hill.

The first time I rode with some friends they waited for me as I huffed and puffed.

But over the months I spent more and more time in the saddle. I began to conquer hill after hill and slowly moved to the head of the pack.

You could say that I began developing a slight case of Hubris.

Late one night while perusing mountain biking web sites, while I should have been blogging, I came across a site for a mountain bike race. They billed the event as the perfect way to get into racing. Although it was held on the same venue as a famous race that happens once a year, it was a much smaller gathering than the big race.

Hmmm.....

I thought about it for several weeks - while I trained just a little bit harder, wondering.

I started asking friends if they would be interested in signing up with me for the race on June 21. But with school just out everyone had a busy schedule, except me.

So I registered on-line and got my confirmation.

As Mindy can attest I was a little annoying as I spent weeks preparing for this race. I even had to promise her that if she let me do this one race I would "chill out" about this biking thing.

The night before the race I got myself organized.

I left the house at 6:45am for the 1 hour drive to the race site, planning on plenty of time to arrive, register and warm-up before the 9am start time.

There was an eerie calm when I arrived. Instead of banners and registration tables I saw one lone truck and a guy pulling off his mountain bike. When I asked him about the race he shrugged his shoulders and rode off. I knew I was in the right spot because I recognized it from the pictures on the internet. So for the next hour I drove around asking everyone if they new about a race.

But 9am came and went without anyone showing up.

I did finally get on my bike and go for a ride - all by myself.

I still don't know what happened.

When I called Mindy and told her what happened I could hear the disappointment in her voice. After a moment of silence she blurted out:

"Does this mean you still haven't gotten this out of your system"?

Nope. Not yet.