Only The Best

We all like to make a good impression and Mindy and I are no exception. So when we recently had two new couples over to our house for Sunday dinner we attempted a nice meal, something that would fit with our guests very healthy lifestyle.

We settled on fish and were excited about the recipe. Nothing too crazy, just some Tilapia with a fun sauce.

But little did we know...

The kids were hyper anticipating the company so I sat them in front of the TV and put on one of their favorite shows - "Dirty Jobs".

Back in the kitchen Mindy and I are slaving away, but we are also listening to the TV.

The "Dirty Job" this week was working at a fish farm. Here is the summary of what we learned:

In a large tank they hatch Bass and grow them. When they take the Bass out of the tank they are left with nasty water full of fish poop. It turns out this is no problem because there is another fish who loves to eat poop - of course, Tilapia.

They throw the Tilapia into that fecal slush and within weeks the water is clear and the fish are nice and fat, ready for the grocery store.

Mindy and I are looking down at our pan of fish we are cooking and we aren't sure if we should gag or start laughing.

But then...Paige (10) years old figures this all out and starts grossing out that we are going to eat the fish that eats poop.

And the doorbell rings. We threaten and cajole the kids to not say a word!

Mindy and I sat with our guests, smiling as we slowly chewed our moist, tender fish.

The kids blackmailed us - they sat at the other table eating chicken nuggets with a promise of all the ice cream they could eat.

I'll Be Back

Gonna take a little blogging break for a month. See you in February!!

Shut-up and Listen

I found myself in a familiar, but uncomfortable situation this morning.

In the process of gathering the family before breakfast to read from the scriptures I had the following conversation with Garrett (4):

Me: Garrett lets go
Garrett: Just a minute
Me: No. Right now we are all waiting
Garrett: I just need to...
Me: ...You come over and sit down right now, we are going to read the scriptures
Garrett: But...
Me: Get over here NOW
Garrett: (with a terrified look on his face he starts to wimper and sit down)
Me: Ok Garrett quiet we are going to read. Lets see...

"And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things"

Oops.

Is this why we read as a family? So the Dad can be reminded daily to chill out?

Sharing Time

Once a month a member of the Bishopric is asked to stand in front of all the children aged 3 to 8 years old and hold their attention for 15 minutes. Then with only 1 hour to recover, they step into the breech once more as they face the kids 9 to 11 years old for what seems much longer than 15 minutes.

I have now personally faced this demanding audience three different times.

My first time I was sure I was going to be a hit. How could I fail? I was the father of four young kids. I knew my audience.

So I rehearsed, convincing myself that I was going to make a difference in these young little lives. These kids were going to learn and be inspired by Brother Thomas!

As I stepped in front of 40 pairs of skeptical little eyes I started getting nervous. I soon realized I was in over my head as a young lady of 4 years old kept interrupting me, throwing me off my rhythm. All she wanted to do was tell me about what she had for breakfast while I was trying to share with her the mysteries of the universe.

I lamely babbled through the next 15 minutes and walked off defeated. When my daughter Paige (10) approached me afterwards I hoped for some encouraging words. Instead she gave the following critique:

"Dad your not so good at that. Your not very fun. You should be more fun next time."

Yeah thanks honey.

So today I was once again in front of this hostile crowd. But this time I brought down the house.

My coup d’état? We did "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" - backwards.

One of the little kids stopped me in the hall to tell me I "was fun".

The Mysteries of the Kingdom may have to wait a while, I am working on my next routine.

Airhead vs. Rascals

One of our favorite babysitters is everything you could ask for as a temporary guardian of our kids. She is accomplished in school, a stand-out athlete, poised, articulate, self confident and our kids love her. But maybe the most important attribute is that she drives, so no picking-up and dropping-off the babysitter.

The other night, she arrived with her new Christmas present, a "Never-Lost" key ring. It had a device that would chime when activated by whistling. So if you couldn't find your keys all you had to do was whistle and listen for the chime.

Apparently her family was fed-up with her constantly losing her keys, so they all pitched in for this gift. And her visit to our house was the first test of the contraption.

Upon her arrival we all discovered something, little kids shrieking with delight has the same effect as whistling. Of course the kids thought it was great they could set off the key ring so they kept squealing, completely enthralled with their new power.

We left the mayhem at this point and enjoyed a nice quiet evening. When we returned we paid the babysitter and chatted with her for a few minutes. When she got up to leave she began looking for her keys...

...which were nowhere to be found.

So we began whistling. All three of us trolling through every room in the house whistling, trying to activate the key ring.

After 30 minutes of desperate looking and mouths tired from puckering we finally drove the sitter home to be shamed by her family. The first time she left home with what they thought was a fail safe device, she lost her keys.

So either we should question who we entrust with our kids, or our kids are "those" kids. You know the ones.

When Kate (7) woke up in the morning she of course knew where the keys were.

Hmmmm.