Today is Erik's second birthday. Two years since we got to hold him and then say goodbye to him. I posted a picture of our visit to him this morning but I couldn't think of a caption. I hope it doesn't sound cheesy, but I just couldn't think of the right words for my emotions. Sad. Hopeful. Longing. Love. Since we believe in the second coming of our Savior we see our separation as temporary, but it's still a separation we wish didn't exist.
On the way to his grave we listened to the CD the funeral home gave us of the services. I'd only relistened to it once before. Our Bishop, Craig Pierce, said some wonderfully reassuring things. The gospel of Jesus Christ really does take away some of the sting of death.
For his birthday I made him a chocolate zucchini cake with chocolate frosting and we took him some flowers and balloons. I know this is all for us, but it feels good to celebrate his life.
We let the kids light the candles and then sang happy birthday. The boys wants to burn out the candles. We ate about 1/4 of the cake because it was really rich and heavy. (yet delicious)
We also brought his next door neighbor Lilly some Lilies. She doesn't have her headstone yet, but we always like to think of her. I know there are a lot of people in Heaven, but I wonder if they've met.

The kids continue to talk about him a lot. Adam always prays that he and Kevin will be resurrected soon. A couple months ago I was helping Adam clean up his room. I cleared some garbage off his table and he said frantically, "MOM, PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY ERIK'S PICTURE!" I hadn't seen a picture of Erik, so I asked what he meant while I continued to clean. He said again, "Please mom, don't throw away his picture, it isn't garbage!". He came and got a folded (crumpled) up piece of paper out of my had and set it gently on his dresser. When I opened it I saw a sweet picture he'd drawn of our family. Mike and I are at the top with Adam. I'm holding Erik in my arms. Sarah and Steven are below. It's supposed to say, "Dear Mom and Dad it's for you", but it reads "Dad Mom is for u Dear." I love it and hang it next to my computer. I love the sweet, simple faith he has that he'll see his baby brother again whenever the time may be. For now we just wait. Happy Birthday Erik.