I hate New Year resolutions and/or any sort of personal goals that may come attached to them. I am okay with hopes and dreams. I am okay with intentions. This year, I particularly like hopes and intentions. But resolutions and goals? The terms inspire visions of failure – no thank you.
Consensus in my world (and very likely well beyond those limited boundaries) is 2020 has been a massive dumpster fire. The virus has been bad, but the shutdowns and the changing information about what to do and the election and the politics have exacerbated and expanded fear and loathing into competitive sports. This is not to say or even suggest the fear and anxiety are not rooted in genuine reality of what could happen if we do not work together to put forth our best efforts to protect the vulnerable populations and ourselves. I do have hopes for better in 2021, but I am not holding my breath in eager anticipation; I would likely turn blue and pass out, potentially die of oxygen deprivation. Mostly I think I am striving to do what I can for myself and my tribe to keep us healthy and mentally/emotionally stable until the rest of the world catches up and things return to something akin to the pre-March normal.
Yet I do not think the old normal will ever return. In some ways this is as it should be. We have gone through a pandemic and a massive economic shutdown. Whether it is necessary or helpful, whether it staved off further disaster or ruined our economy and brought premature death to thousands is an ongoing debate that should stay well outside this blog. But the reality of 2020 has had a powerful impact and impression upon all of us. Let’s acknowledge that and take the best practices with us forward into the future.
In 2021, I might like to finish a few projects I started and stopped in 2020. I have a half-finished embroidery project for my grandbabe. She celebrates her first birthday in April – I am shooting to have it done by then. A couple of weekends of focused effort and I could have it complete and into the shop for framing and presentation.
For 2021, structure, routine, schedule are back on my agenda. It has been so easy to let go of things important to my overall health and welfare this year. Sometimes it feels like the sky is falling so why do I even care if I go to the gym or pursue a healthy eating regimen when I could stay in bed and sleep. I should care; I do care. The strong desire to shake off and escape the vacuum of bad news, worse news, hateful news is evolving into a motivation to be free from that negative noise and seek out and embrace the living daylights out of anything positive and pre-pandemic normal. Things I took for granted – eating in restaurants, getting a pedicure, possibly going to a movie, meeting a friend for coffee – I will not do that again. For me, there is a driving need to set aside or shut out the endless stream of bad news that has been dogging me and dominating my attention for too much of the last year. I need to focus on what I can do, what I have control over.
I think, starting today and into 2021, I need to regain my mastery and vision of all I do and can control in my life, practice more gratitude, be more mindful in day-to-day decisions and choices.
While business is technically shutdown, my job continues and there is a lot to be done to keep the rest of the firm running. There are areas of expertise and responsibility I want to delve into and explore in more detail. I would like to get back on track for improvement and growth, rather than absorbing the resents and stress complaining of my collegues working remotely from home or other locations further afield.
There is a small local gym I have joined that is open 24/7 and that I like using. While I miss the anchoring sessions with fab trainer J twice weekly, I can continue putting the skills he has spent literally years teaching me into regular service again, versus the haphazard “if I feel like getting up and going” method I have been employing the last few months. Should I ever get bored or need something to switch it up, I can always ask him for help. We are close friends, we both use this little club now, and we do try to work out together when our schedules align. If I feel guilty or as if I am taking advantage of him, I could pay for his time.
I often wonder what is my problem asking for help? Embarrassment? Shame? Unworthyness? This is a whole other post and will have to wait for another day, when I am more inclined toward dissecting my own “needs work” personality traits.
Monday I had greek takeout with a friend. It was a local place that I had never been to, but it was nearby and a favorite of my pal and we got our food and ate in a local park. I live in northern California, so while it was a little chilly by our standards – we were both wearing jackets – it was a glorious day outside. Since we were sitting on opposite ends of a picnic table to maintain social distance, we did not wear our masks, even while not eating. We are such rebels, surrounded by others walking alone with their dogs and wearing their masks. We both agreed we should do this meet-in-person thing more often, and that I should learn to replicate the salad I ordered at home. It was serously delicious, but that could partly be because it was the first take out in months that was not pizza or a cheeseburger, my standard junk food fare when I am alone in the office and feeling stressed.
Cooking and food preparation are not tasks I enjoy. The range of foods and flavors I like and will willinging consume is limited (tastebuds of your average 4 year old is how it has been described), but I can see where doing more bulk cooking and food preparation would benefit me. M mostly prepares his own meals, because with work and retirement activities we are almost never eating at the same time, so we rarely share meals together where we are both noshing during the week. But if there were prepared meals in the freezer he would eat them, too. Batch cooking is something I need to motivate myself back into sooner rather than later.
As for the rest of it – save more, spend less, give more, floss more, lose weight, practice gratitude? I already floss regularly. Often times these things tend to fall into place on their own. Smarter choices on things within my sphere of influence naturally lead positive results in the bigger picture realm. Better diet and consistent exercise means fewer health issues and continued good control of my type 2 diabetes and natural weigh loss (if I apply myself to portion control) or at least no weight gain (if I don’t). Less eating out could equal saving money and calories, because my periodic sprees into junk food lunches are bad for both my wallet and my waistline. This is one activity I must curtail when I get back to regular work schedule next week. When it comes to gratitude, I believe we can all do better.
All in all, I think my hopes are pinned on 2021 not being a bigger, badder, backdrafted dumpster fire than 2020. I’m still thinking about what other steps to take to make it happen – perhaps concerted effort in meditation, reading interesting books, listening to educational or happy-ending entertaining audiobooks rather than news of all stripes, maybe even trying yoga again. I will definitely step outside more often, thereby increasing probability of encountering flowers, even if I do not stop to sniff them.
I could always express more thanks for what I do have and the options for choices available to me. And I will let go of at least some of the negative noise buzzing in and through my head. As I have noted above, there is a big difference between knowing what is going on in the world and overexposure to the inflammatory nature of what passes for news these days.
At the end of this long thought, if I resolve to do anything in 2021, it is to continue to enjoy the small moments in life. Actively listen and participate in conversations and exchange of ideas. Be more present whenever possible. Honor my commitments to read more books, write more blog posts. Step away from the screen more often and for longer periods. Grab a coffee and a friend and get outside for a walk. Live with the cautions that will remain after 2020 ends, but continue living the best life possible.
These are not big, flashy, glamorous intentions as far as resolutions go. But they are aspects of my life that will make me feel and be a better version of myself than I am right now.
Happy New Year everyone! See you next year.